by Jessica Gray
For a short moment, she felt guilty about being selfish, but Ben grinned down at her, seemingly very satisfied with his performance and then lay down beside her. Is this how real men treat a woman? He wrapped an arm around her, her head resting on his shoulder.
“Thanks Ben. That was awesome.”
“That’s because you’re awesome.”
Irena traced his abs and glanced at the impressive bulge in his jeans. “I’m sorry, that you didn’t—“
He put a finger to her mouth and said, “Shush. Today was all about you. I can wait.”
She giggled. “I’m afraid you set the bar quite high tonight. I won’t ever be able to settle for mediocre orgasms.”
Ben playfully swatted her butt. “Lady, you have no idea who you’re talking to. There won’t be anything mediocre where I’m concerned.”
“I totally believe that,” she answered.
Chapter 15
Sometime later, Ben heard the deep and regular breathing of the wonderful bundle of woman snuggled against him. Her head lay on his shoulder, one arm lying across his chest, her leg resting atop his thigh so that not an inch separated them.
She was completely naked, and his eyes raked over her toned body. The woman had more passion in her little finger than others had in their entire body. After her initial fear that she’d disappoint him, he’d been surprised at how uninhibited she’d been.
He slid her off his shoulder and rolled off the bed. The strain against the zipper of his jeans reminded him of his unsatisfied arousal. But he was less concerned with sating his lust, and entirely focused on the complex woman who’d screamed his name half an hour ago.
His eyes traveled across her curvy body, frowning as he noticed the dark bruise that hadn’t been there earlier. He recalled the way she’d gasped when he’d touched that arm earlier and his jaw clenched as anger began to rise inside his chest threatening to choke him.
Irena stirred and rolled over, tucking one hand beneath her cheek and presenting him with an alluring picture of her backside. He remembered how soft her skin was and how she’d shivered under his touch and his erection strained some more. Shit. I’ll need a cold shower. His gaze travelled down her back and he cursed under his breath as he saw another bruise the shape of a pair of fingers on her right butt cheek. Damn bastard!
Without asking, Ben knew that her asshole husband had pinched her, hard enough to leave the black marks on her skin. Ben lost his war to remain calm and anger filled him as his memories transported back in time to his childhood and images of his mother sporting the same kind of bruises. He clenched his hands into fists and struggled to breathe through the urge to make that asshole pay for hurting Irena.
A cold shower would help to kill his erection as well as his rage. He couldn’t let his need for revenge control his mind. The last time he’d allowed his emotions to reign had landed him in prison.
Ben took off his jeans and boxers, left the bedroom, and stepped into the shower. The icy spray cooled his mind and body. Calmness. More than ever he needed to be in control right now.
When he returned to his bedroom and slipped into bed beside Irena, she rolled toward him wrapping her arm around his shoulder. Warmth spread in his chest and he smiled, smoothing her hair off her forehead and placing a tender kiss on her nose.
“Ben,” she murmured sleepily, blinking up at him.
“You okay, sleeping beauty?”
“More than okay,” she said and pressed her naked body against him.
And just like that, his shaft stood hard again. He hadn’t wanted to wake her up, but she didn’t seem to mind and started tracing circles on his chest, his abs and further down. His erection twitched.
“I like your ink,” she said and used her finger to outline the tattoos on his chest and stomach. “What’s it say?”
He flinched. They told his life story of pain, sorrow and fear. He pointed to the one on his left side below his ribs.
“This one I got in prison. And that one on the other side, when I got out.”
Irena placed her hot, wet mouth on the tattoos and he groaned. The woman knew how to torture him. But he’d promised to let her set the pace. Her mouth made its way up his torso until he felt her lips tighten around his nipple.
“Irena!” he growled, unable to restrain his growing arousal.
She didn’t look up, or hesitate, but he could feel a jolt traveling through her body, and then she grazed her teeth on his nipple, while her free hand wandered down to his butt.
He couldn’t keep still and grabbed her arms to roll them over so she came to lie on top of him.
“Ouch!” A pained expression contorted her face and he released her arm.
Guilt swept over him. Stupid idiot that he was he’d put his hand exactly on the bruised spot.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” she whispered, her eyes suddenly filled with terror. He’d give anything to chase it away.
Rage swept over him. That asshole that’d hurt her would pay for it. “I’m gonna kill that bastard.”
Irena poked her finger at his chest and said, “You frighten me when you say that. He’s not worth it.”
Ben stared at her. “I’m sorry, babe. I never want you to be afraid of me. You’re safe with me. You know that?”
“I know. I wasn’t afraid for me, but for you.” She sat atop of him, looking down on him for a few moments and then her expression grew pensive. “Was that the reason you almost killed that man? Because he abused someone you cared for?”
Ben closed his eyes for a moment, his pulse racing. “What does it matter? That’s in the past.”
“It matters to me. And I believe to you, too.” Then she put her finger over his heart, on the tattoo he’d gotten when Caroline had betrayed him. It showed a heart ripped in pieces. “What’s that for?”
He wanted to turn away, but she still sat atop of him and he couldn’t do so without hurting her. Her eyes found his, and the intensity in them blew him away. Maybe she was different. But how could he trust a woman? Ben cleared his throat.
“This one is to remind me not to trust anyone.”
If he’d shocked her with his statement, she didn’t show it. Instead she moved her tiny, soft hands across his stomach and made his abs dance under her touch. She seemed to have fun tapping a rhythm on the six-pack he’d worked so hard for, and his treacherous body responded in kind. Why couldn’t he just pump into her like a wild maniac and then never see her again? Because somehow she’s worked her way into your heart already and you know it.
“You don’t trust me.” She said it matter-of-factly and catapulted him out of his lust-fog.
“It’s not that easy...” He sounded like a helpless pussy.
Irena looked down at him and tilted her head. “I know. I didn’t want to trust you either.”
He tore his eyes open. “Then what happened?”
“You.” She giggled. “You barged into my life with all those muscles and that bad boy attitude…”
“You barged into my gym, remember?” He relaxed a bit, maybe she would forget about the whole trust issue. Fat chance. Women seemed to be obsessed with trust. And commitment.
“Okay, then. I barged. But then you picked me up, gave me confidence, promised nobody would ever harm me and handed over all control to me. I trust you with every fiber of my soul.”
She was serious. He swallowed hard. “I vowed never to trust a woman again.”
Irena lowered her upper body and came to lie on top of him. Her warmth enveloped him and he wished it could be true. That he’d actually found the one woman he could love and trust.
After long minutes with the only sound of their breathing piercing the silence, he opened his mouth. “You’ll have to be patient. This is not easy for me.”
She nodded against his chest and slipped down to lie by his side as he started to bare his soul to her.
“My mother was a drug addict. After she died, my older sister Caroline and I vowed
to always stick together. Take care of each other, have each other’s backs. But years later she betrayed me.”
His heart pounded in his throat as the horrible memories flooded back. He’d never before shared this with anyone except his court appointed defender, who hadn’t believed him.
“What happened?” Irena’s soft voice cut through his thoughts.
“We grew up. Caroline followed our mother’s example with drugs, quickly moving from marijuana into the hardcore stuff. I took a wrong turn as well and became the stooge for a local politician, doing all his dirty work…” He wouldn’t tell her the real extent of his tasks. “…after some time, I wanted out and pursued a legitimate career as MMA fighter. My mentor understood, took me off most of my duties. And I earned him quite a bit of money winning fights, so he was okay, even happy. One day he sent me to Caroline’s place to pick up some papers.”
The age-old rage took possession of him again and he felt the bile rising in his throat. Ben fisted his hands in the sheet. Irena propped on her elbows and looked at him. Her eyes echoed the pain he felt. “You don’t have to continue,” she said.
“I want to.” He tried a half-hearted grin. “I kinda like you and I figured what the fuck. Tell you. Get it over with. See if you’re still in my bed when I finish my story.”
“Oh.” She blushed and looked away.
“So I reach Caroline’s place and hear shouting and crying coming from inside. I burst through the front door to see her and her bastard boyfriend standing in the hallway on the second floor. I shout at them but they ignore me. Then he slaps her across the face and I rush up the stairs.
“That asshole looks into my eyes and then he pushes her, hard enough to send her flying down the staircase. A fuse blows in my head and I jump on the guy, grabbing him by the throat and ramming him into the opposing wall. I fight him with all I’ve got until he’s lying on the floor unconscious. Only then my head clears enough to remember my sister.
“Caroline was lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the stairs. Out cold. I dialed 911. But then I got scared. I didn’t exactly have a clean slate. If the police found me there, they’d start asking questions. I bailed.”
“You wanted to help your sister,” Irena said.
His heart was ripped into pieces once again. “But she didn’t want my help. She betrayed me.”
“She testified against you at court and claimed you had attacked both her and her boyfriend without provocation.”
Ben turned to look at Irena. “How do you know that?”
“I told you. I did my research, before choosing you,” she answered. “But why would she do that?”
“To get her next dose of drugs.”
Irena scrunched her nose. “No. There was more to it. I found the court records rather odd. I believe you were set up.”
He squinted his eyes. He’d been dreaming about revenge for so many years, but maybe on the wrong person. Ben’s jaw clenched. If he ever wrapped his fingers around the neck of whoever was behind it, he’d crush him like a fly.
Chapter 16
Irena could feel Ben’s inner turmoil and snuggled up closer to him. After a while, she felt his body relax. He turned to kiss her and the temperature rose again.
He smelled fresh and clean. She traced her hand along his jawline – and missed the stubble. “You took a shower while I was asleep?”
“Had to. Ice cold.” Ben chuckled.
“Oh. I’m sorry…” she said.
“Don’t be sorry, babe. It was well worth it. It’s such a turn-on to hear you scream my name while you’re coming.” Then he grabbed her around her waist and rolled onto his back, setting her down on his hips.
His huge biceps bulged but he didn’t even seem to notice her weight. Irena marveled at how tender such a strong man could be. His eyes turned dark as he feasted on her naked body. She was tempted to cross her arms in front of her breasts, but he caught them in his big hands.
“Don’t. Please. I like watching your boobs.”
Irena swallowed, contrary to herself, he didn’t seem to be shy about being naked. But then he had the perfect muscle-packed body. And a very sexy one. She looked down at him and her pulse rate increased. Maybe it was time to make him lose his calm?
“Alright. You can watch all you want. But don’t touch.”
A sudden surge of power streamed through her and she licked her lips. Ben nodded and his body gave exactly the reaction she’d planned. His stare bore into her and his hard length grew bigger, pressing against her core.
She pushed her hands up his stomach until she reached his chest and toyed with his nipples. He groaned as they tightened under her hands. Ben didn’t move or try to touch her. He just caressed her with his eyes, giving her the control. It felt absolutely awesome.
She leaned down to move her breasts over his naked skin and plant little kisses on his chest. She didn’t know what was more exciting, the tingling feeling when her nipples stroked his skin, or his restrained groans.
His erection became impossibly harder and bigger. Trapped between her thighs, it pressed against her core. Already dripping wet, she rubbed herself up and down his hard length.
“God. Irena,” he growled.
On his face, she could see the pleasure and a twinge of pain as she dug her nails into his skin. She waited for him to flip her into some awkward position to take over, but Ben lay motionless on his back. Just his eyes revealed how much it cost him to surrender underneath her hands. To not grab her and have his way with her.
His restraint gave her the courage to continue and trace kisses down his torso. His abs tightened and relaxed as she moved over them with her lips. She stopped her path just before his curls and moved off his body.
“You’re making me crazy,” he whispered, his voice thick with lust.
His erection had grown impossibly huge and she closed her eyes for a moment, hoping she’d do it right and he wouldn’t hate it. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea?
Her hand trembled slightly, but then she felt a big hand cover hers, moving it right over his hard length. “Don’t be afraid. Do with me whatever you want.”
“Really? You’ll let me do what I want? And if you hate it? Or if I don’t do it properly? You won’t be… mad?”
Ben grinned and pushed himself up to give her a searing kiss that left her head spinning and her lips tingling. Strangely enough the tingling made it all the way down her chest into her stomach and even further down. Wetness dripped from her folds.
When he let her go, he said, “So far, it feels like I want a lot more of what you’re doing.”
She took his big shaft in her hands and stroked it. Soft. Careful. He groaned. “Oh, babe. Harder.”
Her eyes grew wide. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Ben chuckled deep in his throat. “Not gonna happen. Stroke me hard and fast. That’s it. So good.”
Irena grew more confident with every stroke and followed the rhythm his twitching erection set, and after a short while, he came undone. “Babe…yes…oh…now.” His hot seed spilled out like a fountain under his moans.
After a while, Ben raised his head and pulled her in for a kiss. Irena’s heart lurched at the look in his eyes, so full of love.
“Holy sin, how could you ever be afraid I’d be disappointed in you? That was incredible.”
She relaxed into his strong arms and snuggled up against him. “You know what? I felt so strong and powerful. It was amazing.”
He chuckled. “That’s because you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
“Am I?” She’d been weak for such a long time, she couldn’t actually believe him.
“Yes. And I admire you for that. You are tougher than most of the guys in my gym.”
Irena playfully hit his biceps. “I’m not. You said it yourself. I hit like a girl.”
“You do. But you have the mental toughness many lack. That’s one of the lessons I learned in prison, that I’m actually grateful for.
Mental toughness – or mental calmness controls everything else. Your emotions, your reactions and ultimately your physical strength. Gaining plenty of muscle is the easy part, but using them wisely, that’s what mental toughness is for.” He raised her chin to look into her eyes.
“You sure have that part mastered,” Irena said.
Ben gave her a pensive look. “I believed I had, but since the moment you barged into my gym, you’ve controlled my every thought and my heart.”
“I know. I didn’t want to fall for you, but I couldn’t help it either.” A warmth spread from her heart throughout her body. “There are so many reasons we shouldn’t be together, but I feel so good around you. Safe. Protected.”
He wrapped his strong arms around her and held her tight, whispering into her ear, “So do I, babe. Let’s get some sleep and deal with all the reasons tomorrow.”
Chapter 17
Ben woke as the alarm on his phone rang and looked over to the gorgeous beauty in his arms. He sighed. “I have to get up.”
“Is it morning already?” She blinked through sleepy eyelashes.
“Four a.m. The gym opens at five a.m. every day except Sunday.”
“You have to go?”
“In a minute. I want you to stay here until I come back.”
“When will that be?” she asked, tracing one of his tattoos with a fingertip.
“Not ‘til tonight…”
Irena shook her head. “I don’t want to stay here all day by myself.”
“You’ll be safe here.”
“I won’t be a prisoner in your home.”
Ben chuckled. “You won’t be a prisoner, although I like the idea of having you at my beck and call. It’s for your own safety.”
“Still don’t like it. I can’t very well spend my life here.”
“We’ll find something. But for today, you should stay here,” he said, reaching over and snagging her lips. He’d only intended to give her a kiss goodbye, but one kiss turned into twenty and it was more than fifteen minutes later before he slipped from the bed and headed for the shower.
“Want me to wash your back?” she offered from the bed.
