by Susanna Carr
“That’s not true. I see the world through your eyes. You find adventure wherever you are.”
“Not true,” she said as she sat down in her car. “I had a bucket list for ten years before crossing anything off. And let’s not get into the one I had for sex. Or the one you supposedly had.”
“My bucket list is all true.”
“I was exclusively on your bucket list because you needed to get closer to me,” she said in a low growl. “Did you stay in my house because you couldn’t get enough of me or because you needed to search for the emerald?”
There was a beat of silence. He wanted to lie, but she already suspected the truth. “Both.”
Her mouth set in a grim line as she slammed her car door closed. “You have the emerald now. There’s nothing keeping you here.”
“Yes, there is,” he insisted. “You told me that you love me. Believe it or not, that means something to me.”
“Don’t let that get in your way,” she said through the window as she turned on the ignition. “I’m letting go. You should do the same.”
18
CHRISTINE SAT ON her porch swing, tapping a pen against her notebook. The sun was shining and she heard the leaves rustling in the breeze. It was a quiet Sunday. Cedar Valley had been quiet since Travis left weeks ago.
She heard a knock on the porch door. “Hey, Christine,” Jill said through the screen. “I thought I’d find you here.”
“Come on in,” Christine said. She gestured at the porch swing. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“What are you doing?” Jill asked as she sat down next to her.
Christine lifted the notebook. “I’m writing a new bucket list.”
“Why?” Jill said with some concern. “What was wrong with the old one?”
She shrugged and looked down at the ideas she had scratched out on her latest list. “There were a lot of outdated dreams on that one.”
“Do you really think that you are in the right frame of mind to make some life goals?” Jill asked as she leaned back on the swing. “Now isn’t the time to give up on your dreams.”
“I’m not giving up. I’m prioritizing,” Christine explained. “I’m getting rid of the things that seemed so important when I was eighteen.”
“I’m sure there are a few things that you still want to do.”
“There are, but just a few. I think finding my original list upset me because I didn’t achieve anything. I could have done any of those things in ten years, but I wasn’t willing to take the risk.”
“You were busy,” Jill said.
“No one is that busy. I made excuses and I put other people’s needs first. I was more comfortable helping others and was too scared to go after my dreams because I didn’t want to fail. It was easier to think anything was possible if I didn’t try.”
“And now?”
“I thought about what I really want in life. This list represents the woman I am today.”
Jill held out her hand. “Can I see?”
Christine gave her the notebook. She wasn’t nervous about showing it to others. She wanted everyone to know what she planned to do. “These goals are the ones I want to achieve now. The dreams I can’t wait to achieve. The ones I’m willing to risk everything to accomplish.”
Jill frowned as she read the list. She turned the page and saw the blank paper beneath it. “There are only ten things.”
“I pruned the list and put down the dreams I really want to pursue. Like climbing Mount Rainier.” She tapped her finger on the paper. “I’ve always talked about that.”
“I recognize a lot of these dreams. Getting a tattoo... Going to Hawaii... These are all things you’ve talked about in the past,” Jill said as she handed the notebook to Christine. “It’s a good start.”
“Good start?” Christine repeated. “This is the final draft.”
“But there are a few areas that you didn’t mention,” her friend argued. “I notice you don’t have anything about falling in love or getting married. Nothing about being in a committed relationship. Is that on a different list?”
Christine dipped her head and stared at the list. “I already fell in love,” she said softly. “I don’t want to do it again.”
“Because you’re still in love with Travis,” Jill said with a groan. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re hiding away in your house.”
“I’m not!” Christine said with a scoff.
Jill’s eyebrow rose as she gave Christine a knowing look. “Or are you hoping that Travis will return?”
“He won’t.” Christine hated how her voice hitched.
“You say that, but you’ve been hibernating ever since Travis left.” She motioned at the pile of blankets, the stack of travel magazines and the numerous coffee cups. “That was a month ago.”
“I’m not nesting or hibernating or whatever you call it. I’m taking a step back and considering my next move.”
“I remember when your dad left,” Jill said. “You sat on this porch for days, looking out on the street, waiting for him to come back.”
Great. She’d been following the same pattern since she was eighteen. “That was different. No one kicked my dad out of the house. Travis isn’t coming back because I told him to go.”
Jill slanted a look at Christine. “Does he always do what you tell him?”
She chuckled at the thought. “No, but I haven’t seen or heard from him since he left. I thought about calling him. In fact, I even dialed his number and heard it ring. But I didn’t know what to say.”
“How about, I made a mistake. Let’s talk.”
“It’s not that easy. He did have ulterior motives and I don’t know if I can trust him again.”
“Then you need to forget about him,” Jill said as she rose from the porch swing. “You need to get out of the house and go somewhere. You don’t even have to cross the city limits. Let’s go to the teahouse and have a bite to eat.”
Christine winced as she thought about walking around Cedar Valley. “I really caused a scene when he left. I’m embarrassed.”
“Oh, please.” Jill rolled her eyes. “You acted like it was business as usual when Darrell said those hurtful things.”
“I had dated Darrell for a long time, but I never really opened up to him. I shared everything with Travis. He made me feel special. He made me believe that I was fun and exciting and irresistible. I liked who I was when I was with him.”
“He made you feel special because he wanted to be with you,” Jill said. “I saw the look on his face when he left town. He was devastated. He was hurting.”
“I don’t know what to think anymore, but it doesn’t matter. He’s forgotten all about me by now. I’m stuck here on my porch swing while he’s probably in Indonesia climbing volcanoes.”
“It’s not fair,” Jill said with a cluck of her tongue. “He started out lying to you and you were completely honest with him.”
Christine bit her lip. “Okay, maybe I wasn’t completely honest with him. I pretended to be a wilder woman when I met him. But I owned up to it.”
“When you knew you couldn’t keep up the lie.”
Christine gave a huff of exasperation and slumped back on the porch swing. “Whose side are you on?”
“You faked it until you made it,” Jill said. “You pretended to be wild with him and then you became a wilder version of yourself.”
“That’s because it was easy being more adventurous with him.”
“Have you considered that he may have done the same with you? He acted like you were irresistible and then he discovered that you really are?”
She wanted to believe it, but her life didn’t work that way. “It’s possible,” she muttered. “Improbable but possible.”
Her fri
end crouched down in front of the porch swing and met her gaze. “Christine, Travis didn’t make you fun and exciting. He brought that out of you because you trusted him.”
“That’s true.”
“If you want to be fun and exciting, then you need to do something fun and exciting.” Jill rose and clapped her hand. “It’s time for another wild weekend.”
Christine groaned. “That doesn’t sound fun.”
“That’s what you said before your Vegas weekend. You listed everything that could possibly go wrong. And do you remember what happened?”
“I met Travis and got hurt. I’m still licking my wounds.”
“No, you had the time of your life.”
“I’m not ready,” Christine announced. She knew what would happen. She would go on a trip and it would be boring. She would imagine how much fun it would have been if Travis had been with her.
“When will you be?” Jill asked as she crossed her arms. “In another ten years?”
Christine shuddered. “Good point. I’m not repeating that mistake.”
Jill grabbed the notebook and pen. “Let’s look at this bucket list and plan your next big weekend.”
“I’m not sure about that. When I wrote this list, I imagined Travis at my side. Encouraging me. Testing me. The way he did in Vegas.”
“Too bad. He did the same for you in Cedar Valley, but that’s not stopping you from living here.”
“I hate it when you’re right.” Christine held out her hand. “Give me that bucket list.”
* * *
TRAVIS DROVE HIS motorcycle past the sign welcoming him to Cedar Valley. The trip had taken twice as long as it did the first time. His muscles were tight as the nervousness ate away at him. As he crossed over the cobblestone streets, he noticed that nothing had changed since he left over a month ago. He’d expected that.
The only change would be Christine Pearson. She won’t be as welcoming or as shy, Travis realized, sighing. She’d tell him exactly what was on her mind and she wouldn’t hold back.
He had tried to forget her and move on. Once he’d returned the emerald to Aaron, Travis embarked on several grueling adventures. The physical exhaustion and mental fatigue did nothing to stop the flood of memories. He wasn’t excited about any of the challenges. There was only one place he wanted to be.
He wanted to share his life with Christine. It didn’t matter if it was in Cedar Valley or Casablanca as long as she was at his side. When he discovered that she had called his cell phone, he knew he still might have a chance. He wanted to start a new life with her, starting now.
He drove his motorcycle to the bank, waving at a few of the townspeople he recognized. One woman stared at him while she reached for her cell phone. He didn’t know if she was calling Christine to warn her, but if the gossip didn’t reach her fast enough, the sound of his motorcycle would signal his arrival.
This time if she hid under her desk, he was going to drag her out of there.
He parked, took off his helmet and looked at his watch. It was almost closing time, but he was sure Christine was still around. As he started walking to the bank, he saw the door swing open. His heart clenched when he saw Christine striding out.
She wore the strapless blue dress and high heels. Her brown hair was loose around her shoulders and her chin was tilted up as if she was ready to take on the world. He stopped walking as he watched her. She strode down the sidewalk with a confidence that took his breath away. Christine was as beautiful as ever, but she had changed. She wasn’t holding anything back now.
He noticed the vintage mountaineering pack in her hand. His heart plummeted. He knew what that pack symbolized. She was going on another weekend. Looking for adventure without him. Excitement. Jealousy, hot and bitter, scorched him.
“Where are you going dressed like that?” he called out.
Christine stumbled to a halt and whipped her head around. “Travis? What are you doing here?”
“I’m back.” He tried to sound more confident than he felt. Her forgiveness, her acceptance, was going to make or break him.
“Why?” she asked as she slowly walked up to him. “Do you need me so you could blend into the scenery? Or did you lose something and decide I must have taken it?”
Okay, she was still upset. He should have known. “Where are you going?” he asked as his gaze traveled from the thrust of her breasts to her impossibly high heels.
She shifted her bag and held it with both hands in front of her. “On a trip.”
“Vegas?” he asked hoarsely.
“No.” She pressed her lips together as if she was contemplating telling him anything. “Hawaii.”
Hawaii. His stomach twisted. That was worse than Vegas. He imagined her in a little bikini as a muscular surfer taught her how to ride the waves. “What do you plan to do there?”
She shrugged. “Try new things. Break out of my comfort zone. Climb a volcano.”
Without him. Christine didn’t need him as a guide anymore. She was doing just fine on her own. “I’m breaking out of my comfort zone, too,” he said. “Here, in Cedar Valley.”
“Why?” she asked. “Why here of all places?”
“This is where I want to be,” he said softly. “With you.”
“No, you don’t,” she said as the sadness flickered in her dark eyes. “You said that because you were trying to find the emerald.”
“No, I said it because I meant it,” he said. “I gave the emerald back to Aaron and I still feel that way. I tried to get away and forget. I’ve been crisscrossing the globe for the past month.”
Her eyes narrowed as the corners of her mouth pinched into a firm line. “Is this supposed to make me feel sorry for you? Because it’s not.”
“The only thing I discovered was that all I wanted to do was be with you.” He reached out and stroked his fingertips against her cheek. Hope sparked inside him when she didn’t move away.
“Why? What can I offer you?”
“I love you, Christine, and it scares the hell out of me.” The thought that he ruined the love she felt for him scared him even more. “I want to make plans, and you know I’m not very good at that. I’m going to try your patience and I’m going to make mistakes, but I think we’re worth the risk. When we’re together I feel like we’re on some great adventure and I don’t want it to end.”
She stared at him as her chest rose and fell.
He nervously dropped his hand. “Right now I feel as if I’m on the edge of my old life. At the ledge of my comfort zone, ready to jump. And I’m ready to make the leap with you.”
“I want to believe you,” she whispered.
“Then give me a chance,” he pleaded.
She blinked and looked at the pack in her hands.
“I understand. You’re not ready to give me an answer. Fair enough.” He took a step back. “Go to Hawaii and think about what I said. I’ll be here when you get back,” he promised.
She dropped her bag and threw her arms around his shoulders. “Why, when you can come with me?”
His knees buckled as relief and excitement clashed inside him. Travis wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight. “So you’re going to take a risk on me?”
“It’s not that much of a risk,” she said. “You are impulsive, reckless, and you have the ability to turn my life upside down, but you are the only man for me.”
“You won’t regret this,” he said as he bent his head to claim a kiss. “I promise I’ll give you the adventure of a lifetime.”
Epilogue
One year later
TRAVIS SET A travel coffee mug on the bedside table. “Christine?” he said as he kissed her cheek. “It’s time to get up.”
Christine slowly cracked one eye open and frowned. “Travis, it’s st
ill dark outside.”
“I know,” he said as he helped her into a sitting position. “We need to hurry if we want to make it on time.”
She pushed her long hair out of her eyes. “On time for what?”
“You’ll see.” He checked his watch and nervously twirled the welcome-to-Vegas keychain around his finger. The car was packed with everything they needed to have breakfast at Christine’s favorite spot while they watched the sunrise. He was glad he listened to Laurie’s suggestion to buy a picnic basket from the general store.
Christine tilted her head and her eyes widened as she noticed he was dressed in a raincoat, jeans and hiking boots. “Give me a hint.”
“It’s on my bucket list.”
Her mouth tilted in a knowing smile. “I’m pretty sure we’ve done everything on your bucket list. Twice.”
“I keep adding things,” he admitted. Although this goal had been on his list for a while. Right around the same time he imagined Christine pregnant with his child. That would be years down the road, but it would be worth the wait.
This dream had also taken some planning and all of Cedar Valley had helped in one way or another. It turned out the townspeople could keep a secret if they really wanted to. “I want to make this dream happen today.”
“Why today?” she asked, her voice husky from sleep.
“I can’t wait anymore.”
“It’s Saturday, isn’t it?” Christine asked as she rose from the bed. “This is your busiest day of the week.”
“I got it covered.” He had truly made Cedar Valley the Pacific Northwest weekend destination. It had been a lot of hard work, and there had been times when Christine was the only one who believed in him. Now other small towns wanted to hire him as a consultant.
“You seem pretty excited,” Christine said.
“I am.” He slid his hand into his jeans pocket and his fingers curled around the diamond engagement ring. He fought the urge to blurt out the proposal right now. He’d wanted to ask months ago but he’d waited until he knew Christine was ready to take the plunge. “This will be our most memorable weekend yet.”
