A red stain spread across Karina’s face. “I knew it! I knew it was a set up. It was your idea for Bo to come by today, wasn’t it? Oh, why didn’t you warn me ahead of time? I could have at least put on a bra!”
Junior grinned. He leaned back in his chair, folded his arms over his chest, and then gave his best impression of innocent, puppy dog eyes. “I set up nothin’ that wasn’t already in motion, sugar. I just answered a few questions posed by an interested party, that’s all. No harm, no foul. The boy was already hot on your tail, er, I mean, trail. And judgin’ by your reaction, I think you sort of like the chase. Besides, he stuck around today, right? Even after seein’ ya at your worst? That’s a mighty good sign, in my opinion.”
Ruth stomped her foot on the floor. “That’s enough, all of you! Supper is ready, so Karina, take your dog outside and let’s sit down to a nice meal and keep the conversation civil, shall we? Lordy, you three are just too much sometimes! And Junior, we are so havin’ us a talk this evenin’. We surely are. That nose of yours needs to stop pokin’ around in their lives! They are grown womenfolk, for goodness sake!”
All three of them stared at Ruth, who stood in the middle of the kitchen with a stern look on her face, hands firmly planted on slender hips. Ruth was the sensible one, and not a fan of practical jokes or raunchy talk. Especially during a meal. They all knew she was serious, and not to be trifled with once her mind was made up.
The foot stomp was a warning beacon. LiAnn had seen it so many times during her youth. Karina gave LiAnn a wicked smirk and then whistled for Ranger. In seconds, the big dog was by her side. Karina used her hips to push the screen door open and Ranger bounded outside. Karina followed, and over her shoulder she yelled, “This conversation will be continued later. No way am I letting this go! A suitor. What a riot.”
Karina fidgeted in the rocker, trying to find a comfortable position that didn’t make her numerous bug bites start itching again. Though she appreciated the effort, once Gram and Grampa retired for the night, she had made a beeline for the shower. She couldn’t wait any longer to wash off the smelly mess Gram slathered over her earlier.
As long as she didn’t touch the raised red bumps, she would be fine. Once comfortable, Karina took a long pull from her beer and smiled, grateful for the screened-in porch. The last thing she needed was more holes poked in her skin from the freaking little bloodsuckers.
The humid air hung like a heavy, wet drape around her bare shoulders. Karina wondered how long it would take her to acclimate to the drastic change from living in Cali. The cold beer helped keep her hand cool and brain pleasantly fuzzy. It had been a really long day, physically and mentally.
“Want some company, or are you consumed with thoughts about something else? Maybe a certain hunky twin named Bo?”
Karina looked up to find her mom standing in the doorway. Ranger’s tail thumped at her feet, followed by a low whine. “Only if you bring another beer. I’m out.”
LiAnn smiled and showed off the pair of beer bottles in her hand. She passed one over to Karina, and then eased down in the chair across from her. Ranger yawned, stretched, and then walked across the floor and nudged her leg for a pat on the head.
The five beers Karina already downed loosened her tongue. She blurted out, “Mom, how did you get over what happened between you and Crigger? Or, have you? I mean, oh, well, you know. Like the song says, how do you mend a broken heart?”
Even in the darkness, Karina saw her mother flinch at the question. Part of her felt a twinge of guilt for asking, but the other, bigger part, sensed they both needed to dump out all their old relationship baggage. If new men were in their future, they wouldn’t stand a chance of having a normal, healthy connection with another if their minds were still filled with ghosts of the past. It was high time they worked through their collective angst and got on with life.
LiAnn bristled. “Wow. Nice and direct. Little trick you learned from Cal?”
Karina ignored the dig. “You, actually. Remember, I’ve seen you in action when interviewing someone. No gentle tugs at the bandage. You just rip it right off and get to the heart of the wound. Figured I’d do the same. It’s something I’ve wanted to ask you for years, just never got around to it. Seems like the appropriate time just popped up. I mean, we came here to take care of Gram and Grampa, but I think we both are ready to restart our lives. Right? If there was any hope for our past relationships to be salvaged, one, or both of us, would have stayed in Cali. Am I wrong?” For a few minutes, the sounds of the night and Ranger’s breathing were the only things Karina heard.
Finally, LiAnn let out a deep, long sigh. “You sure you really want to know? I don’t think you’re going to like it.”
“Hey, I already dumped out my sack of shit about Cal on you on the way down here. What happened between you two can’t be any worse. I must say, even though it hurt, I do feel better. Besides, you’ll feel better once you let it out, because then you can let it go. I think.” Karina gestured with the beer bottle. “Oh, I don’t know. One minute I hate Cal. The next minute I hate myself for still thinking about him. Guess I must be on the road to recovery, because today with Bo, was the first time in years the pain of our breakup disappeared. For a while. Probably because the boy’s incredible six-pack mesmerized me. Sent me into a tizzy is a better description. Ignited a bit of interest in someone else, which is something I haven’t felt in a long time, even though it was brief. How’s that for some psycho-babble bullshit?”
LiAnn let out a bitter laugh. “On target. So, go on.”
“If what Grampa said earlier is true, and there is a new suitor on the horizon for you, and maybe for me as well, then the past needs to be dealt with. You have pined over Crigger, and what he did to you, long enough. And I have done the same with Cal. The only way to start fresh is to spit it out, stomp all over it until nothing remains, and start walking toward the future. Agree?”
LiAnn responded after a long sip of beer. “My, my, alcohol makes you quite poetic. Demanding, too.”
Softening her voice, Karina leaned forward. “Concerned would be a better word, Mom. You two split up years ago. I was what, eighteen? Nineteen? And you haven’t dated anyone since, unless you’ve been hiding that from me.” Karina searched her mother’s face for a reaction. None came. “So, I’m right. No one since Crigger. Why, Mom? I know his infidelity hurt you but, was there something else, too? I mean, do I need to go load my gun right now and head back to L.A.? Is that why you never told me what all went down between the two of you? Were you afraid I’d end up in jail or something?”
“If your plan is to make the guilty party pay for our breakup by pointing a gun in their face, you wouldn’t need to head back to L.A. The guilty party is right in front of you.”
“What…what are you saying, Mom? Crigger cheated on you!”
“I thought my response was quite obvious. Crigger didn’t break my heart. I broke his.”
“I…I don’t understand?”
“We were in a precarious situation. He was my boss. We did a decent job of hiding our relationship from the rest of the department, but if we got married, well, obviously, we couldn’t hide that.”
Karina interrupted. “True, but one or both of you could have just switched departments.”
“Yes, that was discussed. Numerous times. In fact, the night he proposed, he told me he had already put in for a transfer to Vice.”
“He proposed? As in, asked you to marry him, gave you a ring while down on one knee?” Karina sputtered, eyes bulging from shock. “You never told me that!”
“I never told you because I didn’t accept. When I said no, our romantic relationship ended. Not because of infidelity. Crigger didn’t start his relationship with Caroline until after I declined his marriage proposal. And, since they married less than six months later, and everyone assumed it meant he’d been unfaithful, I didn’t correct that assumption. It seemed, I don’t know, easier to let that be the case, rather than face what the truth re
ally was. For that, I am sorry.”
Momentarily at a loss for words, Karina sipped her beer. Crigger proposed? And her mother said no? “Good thing I’m sitting down, because you just knocked me for a loop. So, if he wasn’t cheating on you with Caroline, why didn’t you marry him? Why…did you change your mind, Mom? I know you loved him. Saw it in your face, even when he wasn’t around! Did you find out something shady about his past?”
LiAnn let out a small snort of derision. “No, honey. No man has ever had a cleaner background than Andrew Crigger. Believe me, I checked.”
Karina set down her drink and stood, her steps a tad wobbly as she walked across the floor. Kneeling down, she wiped away the single tear on her mom’s cheek. “Why, Mom? Why did you turn him down?”
It took LiAnn several seconds to answer. When she did, her voice cracked with pain. “Because of you, Karina. I turned him down because of you.”
Shocked, Karina lost her balance and fell back on her rump. Ranger scooted closer, his wet nose sniffing her to make sure his master was fine. Without really thinking, Karina let her hand pat the dog’s giant head, shushing him. “Me? What do you mean, Mom? I wasn’t that much of a difficult teenager, was I?” Bright green eyes full of fresh tears stared down at her, the look of sadness and regret making Karina’s heart pound with grief.
“I…I couldn’t risk making the wrong choice again. I screwed up royally the first time with your dad. Figured my man radar was skewed, so I wasn’t about to do it again. After the fiasco when you finally met Kurt, all the pain I watched you struggle with…there was no way I’d risk subjecting you to that a second time. I worried constantly about bringing a new man into your life. What if you got attached to him, and then we divorced? I wasn’t about to add any more emotional man-baggage on your back. I already loaded it up plenty by choosing wrong the first time.”
The words took a while to absorb through Karina’s alcohol-soaked mind. The topic of her father was a subject rarely discussed. Karina had only met him once, when she was thirteen. Up until she hit puberty, Karina had no real interest in learning anything about the man whose last name she carried. It wasn’t until the first father/daughter dance at school was announced that the nudge to discover her paternal roots began. She’d asked her mom about him, and she remembered the day they went for a long drive up the Pacific Coast Highway, her mother answering all her questions. How they met. What was he like? Why did they divorce? How come he never tried to contact her? When Karina prodded and insisted upon meeting him, she had to wait for six months, since Kurt Summers was still in prison for armed robbery. His music career had tanked, and he turned to a life of crime to feed his addictions.
The one and only meeting had been horrific. Kurt Summers was a hardened criminal. The last ten years spent in and out of jail and drug rehab had turned the man into a jaded, hateful soul. Even though she’d been young, Karina sensed the ugliness in him. She had envisioned a sweet encounter, full of hugs, kisses and promises to be a part of her life. Wanted to hear things like, “Oh, daughter, I’ve missed you” or “So glad to be a part of your life now” or even “I know I’ve made mistakes in the past, but for you, I will work on not repeating them.”
Stupid, childish dreams of connecting with the father Karina grew up without, who secretly loved her. Instead, the leather-clad, tatted-up biker looked at her with lust, like Karina was a potential date, rather than his offspring. The brief reunion ended with Karina in tears and her mother almost arrested after pulling her gun on Kurt as his hand reached out to cop a feel of his own child’s ass. A shudder of disgust slithered up Karina’s spine at the awful memory.
She pulled herself back to the present and found her mother staring out across the yard. A thin, silvery ray of moonlight glinted off the tears on her cheeks. Karina’s own welled up in her eyes. She had buried the dreadful day deep down inside, refusing to think about the human trash who contributed half of her DNA. Obviously, her mother had not. The worry was embedded so deep for her daughter’s safety, she refused to let herself be happy. The sadness of it all, the unbelievable sacrifice made to ensure her only child’s safety and happiness, made Karina feel a myriad of emotions. Her fingers shook as she reached out and touched her mom’s hand. “Oh, Mom. I…I don’t even know what to say, other than I’m so sorry. And, I love you. So much.”
The chirps of the katydids and crickets, along with Ranger’s gentle whines, faded as they clung to each other on the dark porch. Soon, both of their backs were soaked with tears of regret for what had been, what could have been, and what never would be.
LiAnn whispered into Karina’s shoulder, “See, I said you wouldn’t like it.”
Karina pulled away and looked at her mom. “Well, at least I no longer feel the need to grab my gun and shoot someone, other than myself for being such a rude, gigantic asshole for opening up a bag of awful memories.”
A fragile smiled creased the corners of LiAnn’s face. “Honey, if all the assholes of the world got shot, there would only be a handful of people leftover.”
Ranger tried his best to lick away the tears from Karina’s face. She brushed his slobber off her cheek and got up. A twinge of anger made her grit her teeth. Her mother had thrown away an entire lifetime of happiness because of her overprotective nature. All because of some low-life thug. It wasn’t fair. Wasn’t right. Years gone that could never be reclaimed. A complete, total waste of time and worry. Two hearts broken for nothing. All because of her. No way would Karina let that trend continue. Period.
Karina paused at the screen door. “Mom?”
Moist eyes and a tear-stained face looked her way. “Yes, sweetie?”
“Stop. Just stop. I’m not a little girl anymore. Stop trying to protect me from the world, because honestly, you can’t. You taught me to be strong, remember? I am strong. You are strong. Jesus, stronger than even I thought you were. You sacrificed way too much for me. Way too much, and honestly, I don’t want to be your reason for ending up all alone in this world. I don’t need to be coddled, or for you to spend one more second of your life worrying about me, or how I will react to things. Period. Crigger has been a widower for what, two years now? If things are beyond repair with Crigger, which my guess would be yes, since you two didn’t reconnect after his wife passed, then move on to someone else. Find someone who makes you happy, like maybe this Jimmy guy. Haven’t seen you blush in years, like you did when his name was mentioned. And, if it isn’t him, and he turns out to be just a fun pastime, as I suspect Bo will be for me, then so be it. But please, promise me you won’t walk away from love again because of me. I can’t stand the thought.”
LiAnn’s jaw set with determination. With a slight nod of agreement, she rose from the chair. “Only on one condition, darling daughter.”
A wary smile pulled at Karina’s lips. “Anything, except don’t ask me to give up my gun.”
“Ha! No, the condition is you take your own advice and do the same. Fuck Cal Benson.”
“Deal,” Karina replied, opening the door. They left the porch and walked arm and arm down the hall toward their respective rooms. “Ha, you said fuck. Guess that maturity thing doesn’t work all the time, huh?” Karina grinned. “Tomorrow, I want to hear all about Jimmy.”
“And I want to hear all about Bo. But fair warning–if you tell me his last name is Duke, I will never let you live it down.”
Karina stifled a giggle. “Now that would be classic, right? Don’t worry, his last name is Barton.”
LiAnn brushed her lips on Karina’s cheek. “Oh, thank goodness. Get some rest, sweetie. See you in the morning. Love you.”
“Love you, too, Mom. Nite.”
14
The End of Ray-Ray
Caesar ignored the sting of the painful memories of Romella’s funeral, which hit him like a freight train as he walked up the concrete steps of the church. The same church where the last goodbyes were said to his wife years ago. When Franco and Carmella started making arrangements for Ray-Ray’s s
ervice, and mentioned they wanted it to be held at St. Michael’s, Caesar wanted to protest. Wanted to tell them no way, because he wasn’t sure he could handle sitting in the same sanctuary. But, he couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right to deny his grieving sister and her husband anything during their mourning. After all, Caesar was the one who put them inside every parent’s worst nightmare.
Once inside, the haunting sounds of organ music hit him, along with the overwhelming scent of gardenias, Carmella’s favorite flower. Every conceivable spot they could fit was covered with the fragrant flowers. He scanned the seats, which only held a few mourners, mostly the elderly patients Carmella cared for, until he saw Franco’s bald head. As he walked down the aisle, Caesar saw a few other faces he recognized, but didn’t acknowledge them. The one face he assumed wouldn’t be in the crowd, wasn’t. Nick the Prick didn’t have the guts to show up. It was a good thing, too. The sniveling fool was at least smart enough to realize he wouldn’t be able to cope with the emotions.
For a split second, Caesar wondered how, if any, interactions between Carmella and Nick had gone during the last few days. He’d lay a cool million down on the bet that Nick had kept his distance from Carmella. As Caesar walked in solemn silence, he wondered if he’d truly made the right decision to involve Nick. At the time, it seemed the perfect way to not only solidify the relationship, but also to ensure Nick would never, ever, consider crossing him. Pull him out of his divorce-funk and back to the tasks at hand. After all, though it could be accomplished, running his business ventures might prove to be difficult without Nick as the middle-man. Caesar wasn’t sure if he had it in him to train another stooge.
Caesar was in no mood to be pleasant or talkative. He paused at the pew where Carmella, Franco and Carmine sat, winced as his knees cracked from kneeling down, and absentmindedly gestured the sign of the cross. When finished, Caesar slid in next to his family. Carmella reached over and gave him a stiff hug, and the always stoic Franco simply nodded his head.
Blood Ties_A Magnolia Novel Page 13
