by Mary Smith
I take the large stack of hangers and shuffle back into the dressing room. Each outfit, each change of clothes, I step out for Sharon to inspect. On my last outfit, she hands me a bunch of lingerie. Corset, baby-doll nighties, garter belts, lacy bras, all in my hands.
“I don’t need this.” I try to hand it back to her.
“Trust me.” She pushed it back toward me. “Just try.”
I nod, but already know I’ll be faking it and handing every stich right back to her. I go ahead and begin to sort which two outfits I’ll be taking. I can’t have them all, it’s too expensive. However, my eyes keep drifting to the pale blue baby doll on top of the pile.
My mind doesn’t have any control, and my hands pick it up and hold it against me. I wonder what Remington would think of me in this. I slip it over my head and inspect myself in the mirror.
Gross.
I can see my stretch marks around my stomach, arms, and breasts.
This isn’t sexy.
I turn my back to the mirror and rush to get it off of me. No man, especially one like Remington, who has class, would ever think I was sexy in that…or anything else.
I hurry to get back to get into my original clothes. Suddenly, I feel different in them. I should be used to them, but they almost feel foreign to me. I shake my head, trying to rattle away my thoughts.
Once again, I open the door to Sharon obediently standing there with a smile.
“I just take these two,” I tell her.
“Oh, well, um…” she pauses with an extremely baffled expression on her face. “I’ll just take those then. Mr. Rosin is waiting for you.”
I hand her the items, thank her for all her help, and go to Remington and Arabella.
“Are you done?” He looks up from his phone, where Arabella is still playing a game on it.
I nod. “I picked two things.”
“Two?” he almost shouts in shock. “Didn’t you try on more?”
“Yes.” But I can’t afford a whole new wardrobe.
Remington starts to say more, but Sharon, carrying all the clothes I had in the changing room, interrupts him.
“Mr. Rosin, Ms. Keck, everything will be at the counter.” She winks at him.
Winks?
She’s flirting with Remington right in front of me and his daughter. I can’t be jealous because we’re not really together.
“Look how far I got, Max.” Arabella shows me the phone.
“That’s wonderful,” I say, even though I don’t understand what I’m looking at. I have never really gotten video games.
“Dad, may we go to the bookstore?” Arabella asks, handing his phone back to me.
“Why don’t you and Maxima go on? I’ll meet you in a moment.”
“No,” I blurt out and shake my head. “I can purchase my own clothes.” I know exactly what he’s doing.
He leans in close to me, my knees weak with his proximity. “You’re the best person. Let me do this, please. It’s just two outfits.”
His soft lips brush my temple, and I barely hold back my gasp.
“Please.”
I nod, trying not to think about how he’s the only man who’s been this close to me.
Ever.
Well, at least the only one I wanted to be.
Arabella takes my hand and smiles brightly. “Come on, Max.”
“Okay.” I finally speak.
We head out of the store, hand-in-hand, down to the bookstore. Arabella heads right to the Percy Jackson books. She loves them, and I enjoy reading them to her.
I’ll miss this part.
“Max, we don’t have this one do we?” She holds up the latest released book.
“No, we don’t have it yet.”
“Can we get it today?”
I smile. “Of course.” She hands me the book and continues to browse the shelves.
I follow her closely, but my mind is thinking about my childhood again. I can vividly remember asking her and him for books, but never getting them. Then I stopped asking. I used to hide at the library and, when I wasn’t in school, in the park until it got dark.
I hate the dark.
Even today.
Chapter Four
Remington
“I want it all,” I tell Sharon.
“I figured you did by the way you talked the first time.” She smiles. “There are four pair of jeans, three pairs of dress slacks, two suits, eight tops, and a variety of lingerie.”
“Really?” The thought of Maxima in lingerie quickly causes a stir in my pants.
“Yes.”
“Well, whatever she tried on, we’ll take.”
She nods and begins to ring up the items, gently folding and placing them in bags. She continues until all the items are neatly packed. I don’t even blink when Sharon says the grand total; I just hand her my credit card.
Maxima deserves this. After talking with her at dinner, I made a promise to myself to spoil her. I can tell no one ever has and from this point on, I will. I want to prove to her I’m a good guy. I want to show her how beautiful she is. I wish there was some sort of magical hammer I could use to knock down the wall she’s built up. But, I know there isn’t one, and I have to keep trying.
I’m going to have to do it on my own.
“Thanks for all your help, Sharon.” I take my credit card and the bags.
“Of course, Mr. Rosin. Best of luck next season.”
I nod with a smile and head off to find my girls.
I knew exactly where they would be: the kid’s section. I’m right when I see Maxima’s back, standing close to Arabella with several books in her hands. I stand there for a moment and watch them. Maxima looks at my daughter with so much love and adoration. It makes me want Maxima even more. Damn, every time I look at her, I want her more. It’s been this way since I laid my eyes on her.
“Dad.” Arabella’s sweet voice breaks my thoughts as she comes running up to me.
“Hi, honey.” She wraps her arms around me. There’s no greater feeling than this one.
I glance up to see Maxima’s face go from confusion to anger to…well…I’m not sure if it’s happy or not. I brace myself as she comes closer to us.
“I knew it.” She sighs, glancing over the bags. “You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to.” We stare at each other for a few seconds. “Let me give you my card for the books.”
“No,” she firmly states. “I got these.” She turns on her heels and strolls to the cash registers.
I could watch the sway of her hips all day long. Her curves are hiding behind those baggy clothes. I can’t wait to see her new outfits.
“Dad, are you listening me?”
“I’m sorry, what?” I turn my attention to Arabella.
“I said, can we have pizza?”
“Why don’t we have Maxima pick? She never gets to pick.”
“Good idea.”
Maxima comes back over to us and Arabella tells her it’s her turn to pick dinner.
“Well, um…” she thinks about it for a couple seconds. “How about tacos?”
“Yes.” Arabella quickly agrees. “And we can get nachos.”
I chuckle at her excitement. “All right, ladies. Let’s head out then.”
The three of us walk out of the mall, and I load everything into the trunk carefully. I don’t want anything to get torn up.
Maxima hands Arabella one of her new books as I drive to the Mexican restaurant. I’m a little taken a back when Maxima reaches over and takes my hand in hers. It’s the first time she’s ever initiated contact with me. Yes, we’ve held hands before, but it’s me taking hers. Not the other way around.
When I park and we all get out of the car, I don’t want to let go of Maxima’s hand, but Arabella is in between us.
Once we’re seated, Arabella next to Maxima, we all look over the menu. Arabella wants her nachos and Maxima a couple tacos. As for me, I want the enchilada meal. It’s kind of sad; we all seem to order the
same thing over and over. I’ll need to break out some of Mom’s recipes and expand our palate.
Arabella begins to go on about tomorrow’s dance class. She seems to be even more excited than before. I’m so happy she’s happy. I love her more than the air I breathe, and I would give up hockey if I had to in order to keep her with me. I’d do anything.
Hell, I’ve already lied to the greatest woman on the planet to get her to move into my house, life, and now, my bedroom. I’ve always thought of myself as a good guy. I’m trying to prove to Maxima I am. But, how will she take it when I finally tell her the truth.
After dinner, we head home, and with Maxima’s help, we’re able to unload the car quickly. Maxima helps Arabella get everything ready for tomorrow and then sends her off to take a bath.
I go into the bedroom where Maxima has some of her new clothes on the bed. I lean against the door frame and watch her. She’s staring at the clothes almost lovingly. She looks like she might cry.
“Penny for you thoughts?” I ask, stepping fully into the room.
She doesn’t look up right away; she waits several seconds. “Thank you, Remington.”
I walk up to her, trying to hold back my smile. I don’t want to scare her with my over jubilation. “You deserve it.”
Her cheeks turn a beautiful shade of pink, and the corners of her lips twitch.
“I’d like to make a suggestion. Just a suggestion.” The last thing I want to do is ruin our wonderful day.
She nods.
“Since you have so many new clothes, why don’t we get rid of some of the others?” I hold my breath, waiting for her reaction.
“I thought the same thing. I usually donate to the domestic shelter or the homeless one.” He voice is small.
It makes me fall even more in love with her. “Why don’t I grab some bags and we can pack some tonight? I can drop them off tomorrow when I take Arabella to school.”
“Okay.” This time she does give me a small smile.
“I’ll be right back.” I thought the conversation would be a struggle, but it was easier than I originally thought. When I come back to the bedroom, Maxima’s expression has changed. It’s sad again. I toss the four garbage bags by the closet and go over to her. Immediately, I take her hands in mine.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I was only gone for a moment.
“When I leave, do I get to take them?”
Her question is like a puck to the face. Seriously. “The clothes are a gift from me because you deserve them and so much more.”
She nods. “Thank you.”
“Let’s clean out your closet for the new stuff.” I’m hoping my upbeat tempo will bring her good mood back.
“Okay.” Her small smile returns and she heads to her closet.
She pulls out a piece at a time, inspects it, and then hands it to me. I take it off the hanger, fold it, and then put it in the bag. Not much is said between us as we continue the task. We’re just about done when a small gasp stops us both.
“What are you doing?” Arabella chokes out a sob.
“Honey, we’re packing my clothes—” Maxima begins before she’s cut off.
“You’re leaving us?” Huge tears roll down my daughter’s cheeks.
“No.” Maxima rushes over to her and wraps her up in her arms. “No. No, I’m not leaving. I’m just donating my old clothes to make room for my new ones.”
“Really?” Arabella sniffles.
Maxima pulls back and wipes Arabella’s tears away. “I promise. Your dad was very kind in getting me new clothes, so I thought I would donate my old stuff to people who need it.”
Arabella looks up at me then back at Maxima. “We love you, Max; we don’t want you to leave.”
My heart skips a beat at her words.
“I love you too, and I’m not going anywhere for a long time.
I hope forever.
“Why don’t you brush your hair and teeth and then grab Percy Jackson? I’ll be there in a moment.”
Arabella hugs her again, and she runs back across the hall to her bedroom. Maxima stands and turns to me.
“She really loves you.” And I do too.
“I love her very much.”
I wait for her to say more, maybe something about me, but she goes back to her clothes. I take a deep breath, settle my nerves, and focus on the task.
As I tie up the last bag and set it in the hallway, I watch Maxima hang up the last of her clothes. I continue to stare at her as she reaches for the last bag and pulls out a large box. She eases it up and then softly gasps, closing it quickly.
“What’s wrong? Did something get messed up?”
“Nothing…um…nothing’s wrong.” She hurries to put the box into the bag. “This will need to go back though.”
I grab the bag and pull the box out to inspect it myself.
“Please, don’t.” Her face is bright red.
It hits me then. It has to be the lingerie, and she’s embarrassed, I think. “Well, I’ll take it back tomorrow.”
“No,” she shouts, causing me to jump. “Sorry, I’ll just handle it later.” She takes the bag from my hand.
“Okay.” I hate to tell her she’ll need my credit card, but maybe I’ll get lucky and she’ll wear it. One day. In front of me.
Don’t get hard.
“I’m going to tuck Arabella in.” She touches my shoulder as she passes me.
Yes, it seems like a small touch. Simplistic, actually. To me, it’s the world. First, she held my hand, and now she’s touched my shoulder.
I follow her to Arabella’s room and kiss her goodnight as Maxima gets ready to read their chapter from the latest book. I take the bags down to my car and load them in the trunk. I lock up the house and jog up the stairs back to the bedroom. I head straight into the bathroom. A warm shower is what I need to relax before bed.
I dry off, brush my teeth, and slide into my shorts. When I go to the bedroom, I pull the blankets back and sit on the side of the bed. I pick up my phone and go through the things I’ve missed from the day: A few texts from my parents stating they’ll be here tomorrow evening. An email from Cora. She’s been stationed in Germany for almost a year and is hoping she’ll be able to take a job at the Pentagon.
I smile at the phone. “Just like Dad.”
Cora always wanted to be in the Army like our parents. It’s been hard, but she has moved up the ranks quickly, and I am so proud of her.
There were a couple of texts from Keaton about working out this week. I text him back, letting him know my parents will be in town, and I will let him know when I’m available. It’s really the first time I’ve heard from him since he blew up at me.
“I’m going to get ready for bed.”
I look up to see Maxima walk over to the dresser and grab some clothing.
“When I finish, may we talk?” she asks, standing in front of me.
“Of course.” I’m suddenly a little nervous, but I try not to show it or think about it.
I go back to my phone and browse through my email. One catches my eye…from my attorney. He wants to set up an appointment this week. Now, I really should worry. I told him know about Maxima, but nothing else. I’m hoping I can tell Maxima the truth without her leaving us.
God, I’ve fucked up everything.
I type out a quick reply, asking when’s the best time for me and put my phone on the nightstand. I rub my temples and figure I need to tell Maxima this week. I’m not a liar, and I will fix this.
“Remington.”
I look up. She’s in a gray t-shirt and long pants and is still breathtaking. Her makeup is all gone, and she’s even more beautiful. Her shiny black hair pinned up in a bun.
“Are you okay, Remington?”
“Yes. The lawyer wants to meet.”
“Do I need to be there?” She leans against the dresser.
“I don’t know, but I’ll let you know for sure.”
“Okay.” Maxima begins to tug at the bottom
of her shirt.
“What did you want to talk about?” I hold my breath, waiting for whatever is about to come.
“This.” She points to the bed. “I’m going to be real honest, and you might laugh at me, but I have to tell you.”
“I’m not going to laugh. What is it?” This conversation is about to turn real serious, real fast.
“I need to have a light on to sleep. I don’t like the dark.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
“That’s no big deal.” Lots of people don’t like the dark. She shouldn’t think I’d laugh at her about something that is serious to her. “Anything else?”
“I’ve…I…I’ve never slept with someone else in a bed before. I’m not sure how well this will work.” She hugs herself protectively.
“Maxima, if this make you this uncomfortable, I’ll get my parents a hotel room—”
“No,” she cuts me off. “You can’t touch me. When I sleep, I mean. You just can’t touch me.” Her eyes are wet with tears. “Please.”
“Okay.” Deep down, I have a horrible feeling about why she can’t be touched, but I don’t dwell on it because I hope it’s not true. I don’t want it to be true. “You have my word.”
She nods, shutting her eyes tight and taking several deep breaths. I want to hug her. I feel as if I need to protect her. She seems so small right now, almost childlike.
“When I agreed to this arrangement, I didn’t think this would be part of the deal. When we talked about your parents coming and me staying in your bedroom, it was hard for me, it is hard, but I’m willing to do it.” Maxima opens her eyes. “I took a sleeping pill. I shouldn’t dream…um…really move.”
“Maxima—” I stop because I’m not sure what to say.
“Remington, I want to do something. Something very bold for me.”
“What?” She’s already opened up more than ever before, which is already beyond my expectations. I’m going to keep doing what I have been doing since it seems to be working.
“Just…um…don’t grab me.” She walks over to me and bends down.
I think she’s going to kiss me on the lips, but it’s on the corner of my mouth.
