by Mary Smith
“Dad!” Arabella calls out, gaining the attention of entire ice.
“Food.” Alden races over to me.
I’m suddenly uncertain if I’ve brought enough as the nine players come skating over. Alden grabs the bag from me, only to have Hamilton jerk it from him.
“Ladies and kids first,” he growls at him.
“We’ve already eaten,” I tell Hamilton. “But thank you.”
Hamilton curtly nods and takes a burger before handing the bag back to Alden. The guys are quiet for about a minute as they inhale all the burger we brought.
“How was the last day of camp?” I ask.
“Well, I’m glad it’s over.” Alden speaks up. “Those kids kicked my fucking ass.”
Hamilton and Edgar both pop him on the side of the head.
“What?” Alden exclaims.
“There are females present,” Edgar explains.
“It’s okay.” Arabella speaks up. “I’ve watched cable movies before.”
We all try our best to hide our laughter at her simplistic answer.
“So, Maxima, how’s the unemployed life?” Cabel asks me.
“It’s okay.” I shrug.
“You’d be happy to know we all pulled our money from them after Rosin told us what happened,” Dag tells me.
“Now, you need to tell us what do with it,” Edgar adds.
I smile. “I can help you guys with it.”
“See, I need someone to tell me what to do with my money.” Bas finally speaks, and I do my best not to swoon.
“Maxima can help you.” Keaton volunteers me. “She’s the only one, besides Harlow, I trust with my money.”
My pride swells at hearing this. “I can help you, Bas. It’s no problem.”
“Really?” He seems surprised.
“Sure. I can set up appointments with all you guys, and we can get your money back to working for you,” I tell them all.
Everyone agrees and then goes back to finishing their food.
“Dad, take me on the ice.” Arabella hops up and down.
Remington easily picks her up and skates off. I clean up the wrappers and napkins while the rest of the guys pick up the equipment and pucks off the ice.
When Remington sits Arabella back on the bench, he tells us to wait by the locker room, and he’ll get cleaned up. We say bye to all the guys as they walk into the locker room.
I open my calendar on my phone, and since I don’t really have a life, I begin to set up appointment times with the Bears whose files I have. I send them emails confirming the times and dates. I do want to help them, but I never thought of myself as an independent contractor. Of course, in this day and age, it’s all done through computers and e-trading. It won’t be hard to do it on my own. I’d be more like a personal financial consultant, but I could do it.
You had sex! Meadow’s text breaks through my email. We need a girl’s night. Tomorrow?
She’s not going to let up if I don’t agree.
Fine. Tomorrow night.
“Who’s ready for dance class?” Remington comes out of the locker room, showered and changed.
“Me!” Arabella raises her hand.
“Let’s go.” He takes her hand.
“Where’s your car?” I ask when we get to the garage.
“Keaton picked me up after my appointment.”
The lawyer.
I want to ask how it went but my eyes meet Remington’s, and he shakes his head. He either doesn’t want to talk about it in front of Arabella or it’s bad news.
When we reach the dance studio, Remington holds my hand as we watch her learn a new routine. We don’t say anything to each other, which worries me. Did Rickie’s private investigator found out the truth? Does he know my past? Is this the end of us?
Us?
Harlow’s words about me being in love with Remington come flooding back to me. What is love?
Trust.
Compassion.
Kindness.
Friendship.
Honor.
All of the above.
I trust Remington. Yes, he lied but I’m hiding secrets; however, I’ve never distrusted him. His intentions were for his daughter and her safety. That’s a real parent. As much as I love and care for Arabella, I’d do the same. I already am; and she’s not even mine.
Remington is full of compassion and kindness. I see it every day with the way he treats Arabella, his friends, his family, and me. Look at the way he’s with his parents and glows when he talks about his sister.
I need to open up to him. I need him to know all of me the way he’s let me know him. It’s only fair and hiding secrets is like lying. And I don’t want to lie to him. Him, knowing everything about me, will let him make a true decision.
Dance class goes fast and before I know it, we’re home. Since dance class ran over a bit, it’s later than normal. I send Arabella for a shower and whip up a simple dinner of grilled chicken and veggies. Arabella isn’t even upset she doesn’t get chicken wings tonight. I think it’s because she’s tired.
Remington’s in his office, where he doesn’t go very often, and I know he’s avoiding me. It could only mean one thing: he knows the truth of my past.
“Looks great.” He half smiles as I finish up dinner and he comes strolling through the kitchen. “But Arabella already conked out on the bed.”
“She’s done a lot today. Do you want to eat?” I can hear the shakiness in my voice.
“I’m not very hungry.”
My stomach sinks. “The appointment that bad, huh?” It’s not really a question, but sort of.
“It wasn’t horrible. Her attorney is saying the private investigator has some juicy information on us both. My attorney is still trying to get her arrest record and court documents, which seem to be hard to obtain for some reason.” He sighs.
Tell him, Maxima. My conscience screams at me.
“My attorney thinks we should take Arabella to a therapist.” His voice is low. “I’m almost scared to agree with him. She seems so happy here, but maybe she’s hiding something we don’t know about.”
I nod. “I can ask Caryn, my therapist, and see if she can recommend someone.”
“Sounds good.”
I open my mouth to tell him my entire story, but nothing comes out. Not a single sound.
I’m so screwed.
Remington goes to bed long before I do. I actually work on some files and check up on some financial news.
When I wake up, I see Remington has left a note saying he’s at the arena with the guys. Arabella and I spend the day cleaning and playing outside. Harlow and Meadow kept sending me texts to remind me of girls’ night tonight.
Remington comes home at almost dinner with pizza, Kyson, and Keaton. They announce they’ll be watching Arabella while us girls hang out. I tell them to behave, but Remington seems distant, and I’m again wondering if he’s told me everything. No, I have to believe he told me everything.
When I reach Harlow’s house, she pulls me in the moment I knock on the door.
“I filled Meadow in on most of the details. You can tell us what crazy sex positions you were in last night.” Harlow pushes me down on the sofa and hands me a glass of white wine.
“We didn’t have sex last night.”
“Then this morning? In the shower?” Meadow beams.
“Nope,” I shake my head.
“Then what happened?” Harlow asks.
I take a deep breath, sit back on the couch, and tell them what happened. I explain, without shedding any tears, all of my insecurities as well.
“Maxima, we’ve never asked about your past.” Harlow takes my hand. “And you don’t have to ever tell us, but maybe you should practice what you’re going to say to Remington.”
“She’s trying to say, if we can handle whatever your past is, then Remington can too. He loves you. We love you. Nothing you can say will change it.” Meadow takes my other hand.
These two ladies have been my
only friends. They’ve never judged me, even with my Remington situation. I take a deep breath and start at the beginning.
“I was six when it started.” I have a large lump in my throat, but I keep talking. I talk through the worst ten years of my life, my salvation of Boston College, my abortion, my weight gain, and my deepest secret…I’m in love with Remington.
I figured it out during this confessional: Remington is everything I want in a man. A protector. A friend. A lover.
I’m in love.
By the time I finish talking, we’ve gone through almost a whole box of tissues. Our makeup has been wiped clean and our eyes are bloodshot.
“Maxima,” Meadow sniffs. “I’m not even sure what to say.”
“Me either,” Harlow adds. “But I know one thing; Remington will not judge you. We both know, even though it started out strange, you both love each other. You have to tell him.”
“I agree.” Meadow tries to give me a hopeful smile.
“But, if he hurts you, I’ll break his legs.” Harlow’s back to her serious tone.
I hug them both tightly. They are my family.
Chapter Ten
Remington
July
“So, you want me to go?” I’m not sure if I understand all Maxima said. She’s talking so fast.
“I have an appointment today. Actually, very soon. Dacey will watch Arabella.”
I take her hand in mine. “If you want me to go to your therapy appointment, I will be there.”
She gives me a hug before heading up the stairs. The lawyer’s appointment, a couple of days ago, is still running through my head. My lawyer, Peter Nance, is still very hopeful about us winning this case. I just wish I had an answer about whatever this private investigator has on us.
“Ready?” Maxima breaks me from my thoughts.
“Yes,” I answer.
We drop Arabella off at Dacey’s house and drive downtown to Maxima’s appointment in silence. I’m very excited and utterly nervous about what’s going to happen. This could be a pivotal moment in our relationship or our complete downfall. I love Maxima, and I will do anything to keep her by my side.
I hold her hand tight as we walk into the building and check in with the receptionist. We sit on the uncomfortable leather chairs and wait to be called back. Maxima is visibly shaking. I’m not sure what to do. I want to pull her onto my lap and hold her, protect her.
Finally, we are called back, and I follow Maxima into her therapist’s office. I’m greeted by a young woman with red hair and light brown eyes.
“Mr. Rosin, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She shakes my hand. “I’m Caryn Hammons. Please, call me Caryn.”
“Remington.”
“Let’s have a seat.” She smiles and guides us over to a large sofa.
Maxima sits at the end, but I’m not sure what to do. I want to hold her hand; I just can’t decide if that’s the right thing to do right now or not.
“Okay.” Caryn sits in an overstuffed chair across from us. “Remington, Maxima has requested this meeting because she feels this is a safe place for her.”
I glance at Maxima, who suddenly jumps up and begins to pace. I know this is about to get even more serious than I thought.
“I ask you to listen to everything she has to say without any interruptions or outbursts. Okay?” Caryn stares at me as Maxima continues to pace around the room.
“Okay,” I answer, and my eyes follow Maxima.
“All right. Maxima, where would you like to start?” Caryn asks.
“Um…” Maxima hugs herself but continues to walk the room.
“How about you tell Remington where you grew up?” Caryn suggests.
“Las Vegas and not the good side either.”
“Who did you live with?” Caryn continues.
“Him and her.” Maxima softly answers
Who’s that?
“Who are him and her?” Caryn asks my internal question.
Maxima’s pacing stops, and she stands in front of a large picture window with her back to us.
“The woman who gave birth to me and the man she married,” she says.
“Was he your father?” Caryn asks.
“No. I don’t know who my father is.”
There’s a long pause, and Caryn glances at me as she asks, “Maxima, how far are we going today?”
“All the way,” Maxima whispers.
I’m completely confused about what’s going on. I already knew Maxima grew up in Las Vegas, although I didn’t know about her parental situation.
“I was six.” Maxima turns and rests against the wall next to the window. Her head hangs, but her hair is in a ponytail so I can see her face. “He would sit on the bed or lay beside me. It started out with touching. He always called me his special girl.”
A memory flash hits me. The first night we had sex, she told me not to call her that.
“It was my seventh birthday the first time he…he...” she wipes the tears away from her cheek. The lump in my throat is choking me. “He finished in me.”
My heart is racing. I’m going to kill this fucker when I get my hands on him.
“I would hide as much as I could, but she would tell me to be good to him. She knew hw would come into my room.”
Her own mother knew? The bitch.
“I stayed in school or the library until they practically threw me out.” She sniffs. “I applied to Boston College for early admission.” She slides down the wall and tucks her knees under her chin. She looks like a small child. “I got in. I worked any job I could find and saved every penny to get a plane ticket.”
My stomach drops. I can feel something bad is about to happen.
“I told no one. I forged her name on everything. I hid my money in a paid locker at the bus station. No one knew.” Large tears roll down her cheeks faster. “My last night was the worst. He brought a friend. I screamed and fought as hard as I could. I tried everything, but they kept taking turns. And she never helped.”
I can’t hold my tears back anymore. My beautiful, strong Maxima has been to hell and back.
“It lasted an hour. They kept me pinned down for an hour. They were…everywhere in me. When they finally finished, they just left. I did my best to clean up, and I bolted as fast as I could out of there.”
I make my move toward her, but Caryn stops me, shaking her head. There must be more.
“It was eight weeks later that I found out I was pregnant.”
All the air leaves the room. Maxima was pregnant.
“I couldn’t keep it. I couldn’t do it.” She sobs harder. “I found a clinic and had a…” She can’t finish her sentence.
My strong Maxima has been deep in the belly of hell, deeper than most. I make another move toward her, but Caryn grabs my arm.
“If you really love her, then go to her. If not, then leave now,” she whispers close to my ear.
I love Maxima.
I will protect her.
I race to her side and wrap her in my arms. She’s shaking and sobbing against my chest. I pull her onto my lap and kiss the top of her head. I tell her over and over how it’ll be okay, that I’m here for her.
“I thought if I got fat, then men wouldn’t bother me.” Her crying slows. “It was like a slow suicide.”
I hold her tighter.
“But my health issues became worse so I lost the weight.” She looks up with her blood shot silvery-blue eyes. “You’re the only who’s ever been able to touch me with causing a panic attack.”
“Oh, Maxima.” My voice is hoarse from my own emotions.
She touches my cheek, wiping my falling tears. “I’m in love with you, somehow through all of this craziness, I fell in love.”
I search her face. She loves me? This beautiful, perfect woman loves me.
“I love you.” I’m not sure if I should, but I kiss her fully on the lips.
“Take me home.”
Three simple words, and one request I can fulfill for my
Maxima.
She doesn’t talk on the way home, but she holds my hand the entire time. I want to hold her, and then kill her bastard family. If I ever see those fucks, I’ll make sure they feel as much pain as I can inflict with my bare hands.
As we walk into the house, I’m not sure of what to do for her. Should I get her something to eat? Drink? Does she need wine?
“Will you lay down with me?”
“Yes.” Another request I can do.
Together, we go to our bedroom. I lay on my back, and Maxima curls next to my side, resting her head on my chest.
For several minutes, there are no sounds in the room except our soft breathing. I rub my hand up and down her side, hoping it’s bringing her some comfort.
“May I ask you something, Maxima?” I break our silence.
“Yes,” she whispers.
“I’m glad you told me and opened up, but why at Caryn’s office? We could have done it here.”
“I wanted it to be somewhere that if you left, I could go home without having to see you or Arabella again. That would have been too hard on me.”
“Maxima,” I roll over a bit and make her look at me. “I would never leave you.”
“I wanted you to know before that private investigator figured it all out.”
“I’m glad you told me.” I kiss her forehead.
“Remington, you really are the only man I’ve been with. Sexually as much as emotionally.” Her silvery-blue eyes are bright.
“I’m honored. I love you, and I will be here for you no matter what.”
She snuggles in closer, and I hold her tighter. I want her to feel safe with me. I loved her before, and today, I love her even more. I understand her so much better now.
“Maxima, did I hear you right when you said you gained weight to keep men away?”
“Yes. I’m an emotional eater. After my abortion, I could barely get out of bed, but I had to work and go to school. One day, a guy hit on me, and I lost it. I had a panic attack right there in the middle of my job. Then I started eating all the time. I quickly gained weight, and guys left me alone. After I graduated and got my job, I received health insurance. I went to a doctor and realized I was having a lot of health issues. I went to a dietitian and started losing the weight. Of course, it’s slowly coming off. I’m still fat, but…”
