by Nina Blake
Wasn’t he worth that much? Did she despise him so much she refused him even a phone call, one final goodbye? Did she think so little of him?
He closed his eyes and let his head fall to the steering wheel, tapping his forehead against it in frustration before looking back up at the road ahead.
What had she done? How could it have come to this?
Damn her, it wouldn’t hurt so much if he didn’t love her but she wasn’t just another fling. Heaven knows he’d had plenty of women and none of them made him feel like his life depended on it, as if nothing else mattered. Bree had driven him to the brink in a way no woman ever had.
Damn her again. She’d left without saying goodbye. Made sure there were no two ways of interpreting her actions.
She’d left him with nothing. No hope.
Conrad turned the key in the ignition and sped away.
There was no looking back.
Chapter thirteen
Three months later…
Bree looked down at the crisp white page before her, its whiteness staring back at her as she contemplated the task ahead.
Dear Conrad…
That wasn’t much but it was as much as she’d written.
There’s something very important I have to tell you….
Did those first lines capture the magnitude of what she was about to divulge?
She reached across the desk for an envelope and addressed it neatly but that only took a few moments. She returned to the letter.
I’m sorry for the way I left Sydney so abruptly…
How on earth was she going to tell him she was five months pregnant with his child?
She knew she had to tell him. She’d always known. No matter what kind of man he was, he was still the father and he had a right to know.
He also had a right to take part in raising his child and she was well aware that could cause many problems. Still, nothing gave her the right to hide the news from him any longer, regardless of anything that had happened in the past.
She’d always planned on telling him as soon as the pregnancy had progressed far enough so it was publicly known. Now it was impossible for Conrad or anyone else to tamper with it.
It was strange it was only three months since she left Sydney but it felt like a life time ago. In truth, it was all a bit of a blur. All she remembered was the overwhelming feeling that she had to protect her child and that’s exactly what she’d done.
The main reason she’d taken on the new job was because it was in Melbourne. They’d needed her to start right away and nothing could have suited her better. She’d been happy to leave Kelly Communications and, more importantly, desperate to put as much distance as possible between her and Conrad. If she was in Melbourne he wouldn’t see her, wouldn’t find out she was pregnant and work out he was the father.
Sydney lacked one thing that Melbourne held and that was her family. Bree had put so much space between them to pursue her career but now nothing meant more to her than her family and the support they provided.
Her poor conservative parents, she thought they’d be mortified to find she was pregnant but after they got over the shock they were happy for her. She wished she’d been able to tell them about the baby’s father but didn’t think that was right until she’d told Conrad.
Now the time had come. The letter. She looked down at the page and shook her head.
The repeated thunk of the door knocker brought her back to the present. She didn’t get many visitors, certainly not unexpected ones. Bree strode to the front door of the Fitzroy semi she was renting. She wasn’t so heavily pregnant that she couldn’t still move quickly.
Looking through the peephole, she called out through the closed door. “Who is it?”
But she knew the answer. She knew the face. One she would never forget.
“It’s me, Bree. It’s Conrad.”
She leaned against the door, her head in her hands, the pain of a sudden headache shooting up the back of her neck, the child inside her rolling around causing a fluttering sensation deep in her belly. Her whole body was in revolt.
“Hold on,” she yelled out.
Hold on for what? For all her problems to go away, for her stomach to return to its previous flatness, for the answers to come to her. None of that was going to happen.
It occurred to her that perhaps this was meant to be. Perhaps he was meant to come to her so she was forced to tell him the words she was unable to compose on paper.
It was time.
She pulled the door open, holding it close to cover her body. She swept her hand to her right, ushered him into the lounge room and asked him to take a seat.
This was it.
Striding to the other side of the room, she stood before the antique oak desk in the corner of the room and turned to face him. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
Conrad’s eyes dropped to her bulging stomach and he took it all in. He was calm as he slowly stood and walked towards her. There was only the sound of the leather of his shoes on the polished floorboards and the thud of her heartbeat ripping through her body.
He was close now, so close he could have held her in his arms or hit out at her but still there were no words.
She breathed in deeply, inhaling the familiar scent of his body that sent a sizzle shooting up her spine. The scent so subtle she couldn’t describe it other than to say it was that of the man she loved. If she’d still admit it.
His large manly hands slid onto her waist which had expanded since he’d last touched her. Bree stood stock still, not knowing what would happen, unable to work out what might be coming.
Then he slid his arms around her and held her close, her body responding without thought or decision. Her hands slipped up his muscular arms and rested on his shoulders. Her head nestled on the firm pillow of his chest, her whole body melting into his. She was running on instinct.
She couldn’t have said how long they stood this way or what, if anything, was going through her mind. She only knew it felt right.
Conrad pulled away, taking her hands into his. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her mouth fell open, her lower lip quivering. She had to pull herself together. “I… I had to protect my baby.”
“From what?”
She looked him in the eye. “From you.”
“From me? What are you talking about? I am the child’s father. This is my baby you’re carrying, isn’t it?’
“Yes.”
“How far gone are you?”
“Five months.”
She saw Conrad’s mind ticking over. “So it must have happened up at Il Bosco. That was the only time we didn’t use a condom. But you said you weren’t pregnant.”
“I didn’t think I was at first. My cycle has always been irregular. I had some bleeding and I thought it was my period. It was a couple of months later that I went to the doctor.”
“You knew before you left Sydney. That’s why you left, isn’t it?”
“I couldn’t stay there any more,” she said. “I had to leave.”
“You left without a word. No goodbye. Nothing.”
Bree nodded. “A job came up here and I’d had enough of Kelly Communications.”
“I wasn’t talking about work. I was talking about you. You sure as hell didn’t tell me you were pregnant or I would never have let you go.”
“That’s why I didn’t tell you. Not after what happened with you and Rebecca.”
“Bree, you’re not making sense. I haven’t seen Rebecca for three years. That’s all in the past.”
She shook her head. “No, it was very much in the present. I know she didn’t miscarry, Conrad. I know she had an abortion. Our last night together I asked you. You wouldn’t reply, wouldn’t give me an answer. You couldn’t even look at me and I knew… I knew she’d had an abortion.”
“Dear God, Bree, there’s nothing I regret more in my life than my time with Rebecca and her baby and the abortion and that whole bloody mess.”<
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“Her baby? Like you weren’t there? As if you had nothing to do with it.”
Conrad didn’t move, his face expressionless. “I didn’t. It wasn’t my child. She was already pregnant when we first started seeing each other. I just didn’t know it then.”
“Is that why you made her get rid of the baby?”
Conrad let her hands slip from his. “Whoa. Something is very wrong here. That is not what happened.”
Bree felt her insides swirling into a molten mass of emotion. “Then tell me. Tell me what happened.”
“Rebecca wanted to trick me into marrying her.” He shook his head. “I don’t blame her for it now. She was on her own, pregnant and confused. I told her I’d take care of her and the baby but that I couldn’t marry her. That’s when she went back to the child’s father.”
“I take it he didn’t want to help her.”
“Trevor Daniels. No, he didn’t want to help her. He wanted her to get rid of it. Drove her to the clinic and made sure she went through with it.”
Realisation dawned on her. She didn’t need any further evidence. She knew this was the truth.
“It was Trevor all along,” she said. “He lied to me, told me you were the one who forced her to have an abortion.”
“And you believed him? For crying out loud, Bree, you believed him and not me.”
“I didn’t believe him but there was enough truth in what he was saying for me to question you about it. You refused to answer. From where I was standing, that only meant one thing.”
“I should have told you but it was just too damn painful for me. It wasn’t my child but the pain was real. It felt like the baby was mine.”
Bree shook her head. “Conrad, how did we get ourselves into this mess?”
He looked her in the eye. “When were you going to tell me?”
She stared back blankly, unable to comprehend his question so he repeated it. She stepped to one side and motioned towards the papers on the desk, the letter sitting on top.
“I was writing you a letter.”
He peered at the page with the few pathetic sentences written on it. His expression gave nothing away.
“I’d always planned on telling you,” she said. “As soon as it was too late for you to… I can’t even bring myself to say it any more.”
Then Conrad did something she didn’t expect. He tilted his head and his lips curled to a broad smile. “It’s not a very good letter is it?”
He reached down to once again take her hands in his but this time his grip was firmer, more determined. “Bree, I love you but I didn’t realise it until that night we argued. Then when I found out you’d left, I was devastated. I fooled myself into believing it’d be alright, that I’d recover. But I didn’t. Every day without you has been torture. I couldn’t bear it any longer.”
She looked down at their intertwined hands. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes. Say you’ll marry me. Bree, will you do me the honour of marrying me?”
She wanted him so desperately it pained her. “This isn’t how it’s meant to be. You can’t marry me on the spur of the moment, because you found out I’m pregnant, because you want to do the right thing.”
“I’m not.”
Bree stood mute, swaying on the spot as Conrad leaned over to grab a small box from a crimson gift bag on the coffee table. She hadn’t even seen him bring it in with him.
With one hand he flipped open the box, while he wrapped the other hand around her waist, or what there was of it. An elegant solitaire diamond glittered on a plain gold band inside the box.
“This isn’t something I carry around with me all the time,” he said. “I came here with this ring to ask you to marry me but I only found out you were pregnant after I walked through the door. I came here for you. It’s always been you. The baby’s a bonus.”
Confused, she covered her mouth with one hand. “I don’t know what to think.”
“You don’t need to think. The answer is inside you. Trust your heart.”
She’d spent too much time thinking logically, looking at the facts, searching for evidence, trying to make a safe prudent decision but that time was over.
It was time to trust her instincts.
“Yes, yes, I’ll marry you. Nothing would make me happier.”
She flung her arms around his neck and pulled him close.
Conrad kissed her, then said, “Hang on, you’ve forgotten something.”
He took the ring out of the box and slid it onto the ring finger of her left hand. She felt tears glittering in her eyes but sucked in deep breaths of air as she tried to contain herself.
“I love you too,” she said.
“There’s one other thing.” He nodded towards the coffee table. “You’re probably wondering what else is in the bag. Do you remember the jewellery you wore to dinner at Il Bosco and how I wanted you to accept it. I said no other woman should ever wear it and I meant it. You wouldn’t take it from me then but I thought that now… ”
She looked up at him shyly. “If I’m going to be your wife, I guess I’ll have to accept it.”
“You’ll have to wear it too. Perhaps tonight we’ll celebrate.”
A thousand thoughts were rocketing through Bree’s head. Should they celebrate on their own or should she take him to meet her parents tonight? They’d helped her through this and deserved to meet him.
Where would they live? Would she work? Would she stay at home? Could she leave her family and return to Sydney? What about Conrad’s mother? She hadn’t even met her.
None of those things mattered. They’d sort themselves out one way or another. The only thing that mattered was that she and Conrad were together and their baby was growing inside her.
He wrapped his arms around her, tilted his head and brushed his lips gently against hers.
“You’ve got to trust your heart,” she whispered but she was speaking to herself.
“I know,” he said.
Their mouths collided in a passionate kiss as they tried to make up for the time they’d lost. She curled her fingers around the nape of his neck, trying to pull him closer, holding him so he could never escape. Conrad’s arms were wrapped around her, returning the intensity of her embrace.
They had the rest of their lives together. This was just the beginning.
She’d always had the answer inside.
She just hadn’t known it.
