“It took the torches out with no effort. Let’s hope the house lights and our lanterns can keep the shadows away.” My confidence in the situation begins to fade but I try to show some resolve that our plan might work.
The light wards off the shadows for now. But every shadow becomes suspect. I can’t tell if it’s my eyes playing a trick or if it’s all real, but shapes and forms creep along where shadows are cast. Hands and arms trying to reach to us continue to be held at bay. The crying becomes louder. They call out to me by name. The voices seem to come from the walls right behind me, prompting me to close my eyes and plug my ears so I can pretend not to hear them.
“Come, Rain. Let us into the light! Enter into the darkness! Let the darkness enter you!” My attempts to block out their pleas fail. Their tones reverberate through my hands.
“What will that accomplish?” I open my eyes and ask it.
“You can bring light to us Rain. Share our despair and bring us to the light!”
Dark shadowy hands hover wherever shadows lie, unable to penetrate the light yet. Still, it, they, are not deterred. A multitude of body outlines begin to cycle through. Different sizes, different shapes, but all appearing to be silhouettes of people.
“How long until we shift through time again?” Eve asks. “This is really creeping me out!”
“It might be as much as a week and a half but tracking time has been difficult,” Agatha responds but is taken over by Evalyn before she can finish her thought. “Not long. I can’t usually tell but it’s different in this place. I can sense it, feel it building like a pressure. Either more time has passed than we think, or it’s happening early. We just need to last a bit longer and hope this thing isn’t drawn with us.”
“And if it is? What happens then? Won’t we unleash it on whenever we end up?” I point out. “We should try to coerce it to leave.”
“How do you coerce something like this? Whatever it is, it seems stuck on reaching us…” Ami starts.
“Me…” I interject.
“It wants you and doesn’t like ‘no’ for an answer.” Ami smiles softly. “I won’t let it have you. Maybe we can push it back beyond the boundary again if we use the lanterns.”
Eve growls in a low tone. “It does seem to be held back by the light. It might be worth exploring…”
“NO!” The voices wail from the walls and all the lights flicker.
“Okay, we’re upsetting it.” Their agitation becomes my own. “It has the ability to interact with physical things and that’s not a good omen for us. For now we move as a group and only when we need to. Don’t aggravate it.”
“What about the bathroom?” Ami inquires.
“As weird as it’s going to be, we need a buddy system. We’ll have to watch out for each other.” Evalyn chortles, apparently amused at the circumstances.
“Rain can be my buddy!” Eve exclaims.
“Not a chance.” Ami glares at her.
“We’re going to have to do it as a group.” Evalyn grins playfully, getting more enjoyment out of torturing us than should be healthy. “Three will have to guard while one does what they need to.”
“Eww, Auntie,” is all Ami can muster as a response.
I shake my head and rest it against the wall. Ami leans on me, and Eve lets out a sigh of contempt.
With nothing to do but sit and listen to the moaning and wailing of the darkness, I try to think of different times. Once again I turn to the unknown of my past, despite having no more answers for the questions than I have previously. The princess pops into my mind and I wonder if she could have told me more and simply didn’t.
It would make sense for her to not tell me any more than she already did, for the same reason I didn’t tell her about the future. The same reason I told her she would be better off not knowing. To avoid inadvertently altering things. Or maybe to avoid struggling against the inevitable.
I suppose we do that anyway by interacting at all with whatever time we’re in. But perhaps this was all destined. Maybe my helping the slaves had and was always going to happen, in which case it isn’t really altering things. If I knew more about my past I might be able to recall stories or historical facts learned when I was the king, to find out if anything had been changed.
Time is an interesting beast. By doing things in the past, it might be safe to assume it’s always happened that way and this temporal paradox we call our home will always exist on the planet, even when it isn’t supposed to. And if Evalyn never used her power in death to start the process, what would the world be without the interactions we’ve had? Would it be a better place, or worse?
Trying to understand time hurts my head and I cease thinking about it to save myself an endless loop of questions. It feels like hours pass, but without anything to keep our minds or bodies occupied it could just as easily be ten minutes. I eye the bookshelves on the other side of the living room and the choice of reading a boring textbook or steamy romance novel do not appeal.
“Let us in,” the darkness speaks anew in its unanimous cluster of voices. “Rain, you must let us into the light!”
“Silence!” I yell at it.
“Go away!” Eve chimes in after me. “You’re not wanted here!”
“No!” The lights flicker again and a heavy humming from the house can be heard.
“Eve, stop badgering it!” Ami glares at her from across my chest.
“Let us in!” The humming increases and the lights begin to flutter off and on.
It continues, a chatter so loud that it destroys any semblance of concentration I might find otherwise.
“I’ll push you away with the light!” Eve yells.
The voices let out a screech, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. Something pops in the house and the electrical lights die out. We are left with only our lanterns as protection.
“Good job Eve!” Ami yells at her.
“Good job yourself! You guys pissed this thing off to begin with!” Eve points her finger in Ami’s face and I grab it. “Gah! Why did I have to get tangled up in this mess?!” Eve rips her hand from me, glaring because I stopped her from doing anything.
“It probably just tripped the circuit breakers.” Agatha is eerily calm in this chaos.
“What is a circuit breaker? Can we fix it?” I ask.
“They’re special switches that automatically cut off power to prevent electrical damage,” she responds.
“All we have to do is turn the switches back on, but if this thing can do it once, it will probably do it again,” Ami adds.
“Is it even worth trying then?” I’m disheartened. Their silence is the answer I didn’t want.
The shadows have closed in on us, held back only by the lanterns’ light now. They whisper and yell at the same time. Nothing I do to ignore them helps. They whisper my name, calling for me to let them in, to reach into the darkness. The silhouettes of their bodies and hands all point toward me, reaching to grab me. It takes time, but eventually they become white noise. When I close my eyes I feel drained, like they’re wearing me down. Wearing down my will to resist them.
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Cold, icy fingers grip my neck. They’re strangling me. But there are too many fingers to count. It’s not just my neck they’re clasping, but every inch of my body is being crushed under their weight. Each one is trying to get at me and they are uncountable. But, though they cannot be numbered, I feel them all. Each consciousness trying to impose itself on me in the hopes that I can help them.
It’s overwhelming. When I try to scream, nothing comes out. My mouth won’t even open. It’s not there! My heart hammers my ribs like a woodsman chopping down a tree. The pressure from inside meets that outside. I can’t bear it. My mind can’t stay focused on a single thing while I wade through every cry of desperation.
A part of me wants to help them but I can’t decide if it’s because I actually want to see their woes dissolve or if I just want them to be quiet
. It doesn’t matter. They’re taking over. Their depression is grinding away at my soul. I’m not here. I’m not there. I begin to not exist at all. I’m fading.
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My body jerks. My eyes snap open and I’m in the house.
Ami, who had also apparently fallen asleep, is startled and screams. I look around nervously, swiping at my arms to relieve an itching under the skin. The shadows are still being held at bay by our lanterns. I reach over and turn the wick up to increase the light a little more. The darkness hisses at me as it’s pushed away but becomes quiet again. My nightmare lingers and a feeling of hopelessness has sunk in.
“Rain?” Ami rubs my arm.
“Sorry, I felt vulnerable.” I keep it to myself.
I don’t want to alarm them any more than they are.
“Maybe if you were in my lap you would feel safer?” Eve offers. Again I’m not repulsed by her, but instead shake my head and give a weak smile.
Ami clings to me and I feel a little relief. But as I sit there trying not to think of the darkness, or anything else at all, my body gives me something to make me physically uncomfortable. An urge I try to suppress pesters me. The more I try to ignore it the more it persists: I have to use the bathroom.
Not wanting to risk our safety I fidget and cross my legs. The moans return from the darkness, breaking my concentration. I can’t hold it for too much longer. I try taking deep breaths but I’ve gained the attention of the women and know I have to divulge my situation.
“Rain?” Ami looks at me. “Is something wrong?”
“Yeah. We’re going to need to move as a group.” I blush.
“All right. Everyone grab a lantern.” Agatha opens her eyes, and I jump because I was sure she was asleep.
We each grab one and form a tight diamond, each of us facing outward from the person opposite to us. We each hold the lanterns out to our front. Our light barrier is secure against the shadows reaching out from the nooks and crannies where the light cannot reach.
One small step at a time, Agatha leads us down the hall. We’re forced to cramp tighter together. While we move, the shadows are repelled but hearing my name from the hidden places doesn’t become any less alarming. Fear sinks deep into my stomach.
Eve twitches, every shadow making her jump. “I’m feeling claustrophobic. I’m going to freak out here.”
“You’re fine,” Ami snaps at her.
“Can’t we do just two at a time?” Eve questions. “I mean, I don’t mind if Rain keeps me safe, but I don’t want all three of you in there.”
“You don’t have a choice!” Ami’s yell echoes off of the close walls. “We need to keep the barrier up, but if you’d like to go in alone, go for it.”
“Forget that!” I feel Eve shove her shoulder into Ami. Ami pushes back and our grouping breaks up a little.
“Enough. I don’t like it either, but we don’t have a choice,” I stop their fight before it turns into a brawl. “As much as I would like for none of you to be in there, and to not have to be there when you’re relieving yourselves, we are our best defense against the shadows.”
Agatha is silent and I assume she feels no need to elaborate. Her light illuminates the knob and she hesitantly reaches for it. Her composure is nearly flawless, except for when she shoves the door open. It’s a little too hard and it slams against the counter behind it. I jump and Eve shrieks.
Light floods into the bathroom. It takes some squeezing to work our way inside and still keep our lanterns held up so we’re safe. We huddle near the toilet and without thinking about it, I put my lantern on the back of it to illuminate the little alcove it’s tucked into. They face outward, but it’s not enough to save me the embarrassment. I sit down to relieve myself and hide the noise.
To my surprise, Eve doesn’t attempt to look at me, which garners her a little respect in my mind. When I’m done I leave my lantern there and tap Eve’s shoulder. She hands me hers and we switch places leaving me on point, my back to all the women. I put the lantern handle in my mouth, biting down hard so as not to drop it, and plug my ears.
A few minutes pass and I feel a tap on my shoulder to indicate they’re all done. Having kept the lantern clenched in my teeth, my breathing has dried my mouth. I cough and suck on my cheeks to trick my body into salivating. We take turns washing our hands before moving back to the living room.
Since we had gained some experience in moving together, it’s a little easier going back. Our pace is still quite slow though, so we do not let our guard down and lose our light barrier. Agatha leads us to the kitchen door, stopping only momentarily to let us know we’re not returning to the corner yet. The darkness recedes in the kitchen, protesting the entire time while we move through the swinging door.
Agatha must have been preparing.
There is fruit laid out on the table for us to eat. Instead of sitting down in the chairs where the lanterns wouldn’t be able to illuminate underneath, we climb one by one onto the tabletop and sit facing away from each other. The fruit is heavenly, more flavorful than I’d noticed before under normal circumstances.
Is it because I’m hungry or the effects of this place?
The moans gain my attention again by raising their volume. Even against the light being produced by our lanterns, the room is noticeably darker. My lantern flickers briefly, creating an ebb and flow in the shadows reaching for us. It makes my heart skip a beat, and I adjust the wick a little more until it’s burning brightly.
“Should we set up a sleep rotation?” I question with a mouth full of orange.
“A good idea. One person always awake to make sure the lanterns don’t go out,” Ami speaks.
“Does that mean I can sleep since you two just woke up?” Eve says cheerfully.
“Yes, you and Agatha sleep.” I reach behind me and squeeze Ami’s hand. “Ami and I will stay awake and keep watch.”
“Thank you, Rain,” Agatha’s voice sounds weary.
“We will need to communicate when we start getting drowsy. Since two of us have slept recently, I’m sure Ami and I can hold out.” I try to appear confident. Their silence tells me nothing of their belief, or lack thereof, in my assertion.
Time, despite already seeming erratic in this void, drags on. There’s nothing to tell us what time it is, or if time is passing at all. With nothing to converse about we are forced to listen to the white noise generated by the frequently changing voices within the darkness. Their current mood has them speaking softly, trying to tempt me, to lure me into whatever their darkness is. When they fail, it dulls and quiets. Ami squeezes my hand and I squeeze back.
“Perhaps it’s tiring?” I whisper.
“Can immaterial beings tire?” she whispers back.
“Doubtful,” Eve states plainly. “It’s likely trying to lull us into a false sense of security. It’s what I’d do if I were it.”
“You don’t have the ability for subtlety, do you Eve?” I joke with her. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”
“Believe me, I’ve tried but it’s too uncomfortable up here. How about you and I take our lanterns and go lay in my bed?”
“Does your vulgarity know no bounds?” Ami’s voice is humorless.
“Are you such a prude you’re telling me you wouldn’t bed him if you could?” Eve retorts.
“Unlike you, I know how to act like a lady!” Ami’s voice becomes elevated. “I can sleep in the same bed as Rain without trying to molest him!”
“It’s not enough to act like a lady, when you can be a woman –”
“Girls, enough. This isn’t the time or place,” I interrupt.
The three of us become silent, but not for long as Eve doesn’t seem content to just sit there and try to sleep.
“How long do you think it’s been?” Eve asks in a normal volume.
“It could be minutes or hours. I’m becoming tired but it could just be from boredom,” I bring my voice back down to a whisper, attempting to have
Eve to follow my lead.
“If you’re tired Rain, go ahead and sleep some. I’ll wake Mother in a little while,” Ami offers.
“Thanks.” Being tired and wanting to sleep were two different things in my mind. The nightmare from before springs forward. My only comfort is when I squeeze Ami’s hand just to feel that she’s there.
Adjusting my body a bit, I use the three of them as my support. I droop my head forward, and cross my arms at my chest. It takes a few readjustments but I find a position where my shoulder blade isn’t being ground against another shoulder.
Closing my eyes, I try to rest. For a few minutes I can’t help but open my eyes every now and again out of fear the darkness will creep in when I’m not looking. Finally my eyelids are too heavy to open again.
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“Rain! We know you hear us! We feel you as you feel us! Come!”
It’s them again. The fingers around me, but they’re carrying me this time. Somewhere I can’t see. I feel as though I’m adrift on the sea, the undertow pulling me further out. The shore, reality, becomes a faded vision and their incessant calling my name is drowning me. Each one that says my name fills me with a deep sadness. Regrets, desperation, despair, sorrow. It rings in my ears like a cascade of bells. Each one is different but I don’t understand why, or what they want.
I want to cover my ears, but I can’t move. I want to speak, but my mouth is gone. Their hold is making me one of them. Lost and seeking, aching to change the things I can’t control. I’m forced to reflect on my failure in not helping others enough. Those that have died and those I haven’t saved, including Ami and Agatha. I’m wracked with angst.
Then it shows me the worst one: one that hasn’t come to pass. Ami, Agatha and Eve are overcome by the shadows. The dark fingers, arms and legs grip the three tightly and I watch as the life is choked from them. The life leaves their eyes, and their bodies become husks within the shadows before being completely obscured.
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R.E.solve (Rain Experience Book 2) Page 6
