by Ashley West
"I did, Sam. But somehow the bills keep piling up and with Jeremy's tuition and, of course, the mortgage, I just can't get ahead." I shook my head. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to go back. The scholarships aren't for twenty-something seamstresses, they're for brilliant high school students. It was all different before. I don't know. I've tried, but I can't see how I'll ever be able to make it happen."
Sam looked me in my eyes. "Don't talk like that, Ashlyn O'Connor. You've got more in you than people see on the surface. I know that you'll get that dream."
I smiled sadly and sighed, shaking my head.
"The Maldives will be underwater before I ever get a chance to study them and figure out a solution," I said. "They're now only about three feet above sea level. By the time I'm an environmental scientist whose earned her Ph.D. and got funding to study them, they'll be underwater, and the people will all be environmental refugees."
"Then you'll study some other islands. I know you're going to do it, Ash, I have faith in you," she said.
"Thanks, Sam," I said as we passed out of the rich neighborhood, back on to a street with small businesses.
"Of course, you could just go in there, and all your troubles would be over," she said. She grinned at me with a mischievous look in her eye, as she pointed at TerraMates, the mail-order bride agency.
"Stop," I said, getting annoyed. "That's for people who… God, I don't even know what sort of people are so desperate that they would let someone arrange their marriage for them. I have other plans, all right?"
"I'm not saying you should do it to find your Mr. Right. I'm saying you should do it for the money. You could pay off the mortgage, you could go to university, you could start your seamstress shop, you could go on a vacation for the first time in your life."
"I would never, ever, ever do anything like that. It's like selling yourself."
"But it's only for a year."
"What?" I looked at her suspiciously. "How do you know that?"
"What?" she looked at me innocently, shrugging her shoulders like it was nothing. "I happened to grab the brochure one day, just to see."
"You didn't!"
"I did, and I'm not sorry. Well, except that I don't qualify to be an interplanetary bride."
"An interplanetary bride? You're insane."
"It's like the wild west. Remember? There were all those men and no women. They would correspond with some woman, and if they decided they liked each other she would go out there and they got married. You check out the portfolio and choose a few that meet your standards, and they match you up. At the end of the year, if you're not happy, you can get divorced, and you get to keep the money."
I paused. "What money?"
"Five hundred thousand credits, Ashlyn."
"Five hundred thousand…" I said, faintly.
"It would set you up for life. All you have to do is go live with some guy for a year. They screen everybody. There's no serial killers or anything like that. It's all perfectly safe, and they monitor to make sure everything's all right. No chance of the guy being abusive." Sam laughed. "I sound like a commercial." I shrugged. It didn't matter. I wasn't going to be one of those brides. Who would take care of the boys if I left for a year? I guess they weren't children. All of them were in their twenties, but they still needed a mother figure. "You're crazy, Sam. You go and sign up if you think it's great," I said.
"I told you, I can't. Remember when I went on the school trip to Africa and got malaria? They won't take me. But they'll take you."
"Stop it, Samantha Morrows. You're talking nonsense."
She sighed.
"Okay. But I think you're missing out on a great opportunity!" she said.
"Yeah, right," I said, turning in at one of the plain houses that lined our street. The grass was overgrown. I would have to ask one of the boys to cut it. "Well, here I am."
"Ash," Samantha said, turning to me. "You work too hard, and you never have any fun. Come out with me tonight. Please?"
I shook my head, and she rolled her eyes.
"I can't. The environmental scientist dream might be out of reach, but you know that I'm working on my courses so that when I go back to university, I'll have a few of them under my belt. I have to study. I don't have time to go out clubbing."
"Fine, Ash. But all work and no play makes Ashlyn a dull girl."
"I'm not dull, Sam. I'm sensible. I'm responsible. I'm taking care of my family. And if I can somehow find a way to have my dream, too, well then, I'm going to go for it. But it takes work and dedication. And clubbing isn't part of my plan. I'm sorry."
"Right. Well, if you change your mind, just let me know, okay?"
"Okay, Sam. See you tomorrow? I'll walk you to work?"
"You bet. Don't we always walk to work together?"
I smiled at her.
"All right. I'll see you then."
She walked away down the street, and I let myself into our house. It was small and clean. Everything was nice because I kept it that way. I probably ought to make the boys do more, but I didn't. I felt so badly after Mom died that I didn't want to make them help out. I know they're spoiled.
"Hello?" I called, putting my things down on the couch. "Anyone home?"
There was a funny sound from the kitchen and I wandered in, wondering who was in there. When I walked through the door, I froze.
My brother, Marlin, was sitting on a chair in the kitchen. He was crying. And he was so beaten up that I hardly recognized him.
Chapter Three
ASHLYN
I ran to my brother.
"Jesus, Marlin. What the hell happened to you?" I said. "Come with me to the bathroom, and I'll get you cleaned up."
I swallowed my nausea. I've never been very good with blood — a definite liability with three rambunctious boys in the house. Even though he's twenty-three, the man I thought of as my little brother had bruises on his face. There was dried blood in several spots, and his lip was bleeding.
I felt like crying myself, but he needed me, and I wasn't going to fall to pieces on him, no matter how much I wanted to.
He could hardly walk, so I brought a bowl of warm water, a cloth, disinfectant and bandages to the table where he sat. I sucked it up and started to clean him up. I checked his torso; it was black and blue. Someone had bruised his legs, too, but it didn't seem like anything was broken.
Then I helped him to bed.
"Marlin," I said, still standing beside him. He was lying there, eyes closed, looking like he would fall asleep. "You have to tell me what happened."
"I got beat up," he said after a long minute of silence.
"That's obvious, love, but why?"
"I don't want to tell you."
I frowned.
"That doesn't sound good."
"You'll be disappointed in me."
"Mar, you know I'll always love you. Whatever you've done, I'll forgive you."
He sniffed.
"You've always been so good to me and Jeremy and Tim, though. And all I've ever done was let you down, Ash. And now I've done it again. I hate myself."
"Marlin, don't say such things. Just tell me. We'll fix it. We can get through anything if we stick together. Isn't that what Mom always said?"
"Oh," he almost wailed. "Don't bring Mom into this. She would be even more disappointed than you."
"Hey," I said, gently. "Just try me."
He drew in a shaky breath.
"I've been gambling."
I nodded.
"Okay. We can work through this."
"I've been gambling a lot. I kept thinking if I could win enough, I could pay off the mortgage. I know it's hard for you, Ash. I'm always close to winning!"
I closed my eyes in pain. Marlin always thought that he could get things without working. I hope I didn't encourage it, but maybe I did inadvertently.
"Okay," I said, again, hoping I sounded calm.
"I started to borrow money to play. I was so close, Ashlyn. I swear. I almost
won tonight. I almost made it all back."
I stared at him, my heart aching for him. Why did he do these things? He was always getting himself in trouble.
"But I didn't. And my creditors came after me. When I couldn't pay, they beat me up."
I sighed. Creditors. It was a euphemism for loan sharks.
"Well, I don't think you deserved it, Marlin, but you did bring it on yourself," I said.
"That's not all."
"Not all?" I frowned. "How much do you owe? I'll pay it. But you have to promise not to do this again, Marlin."
"That's the thing, Ashlyn." He was crying again now. "You can't pay it."
"I can, Mar. Don't worry. I have a lot in savings. Enough to cover your debt."
"You don't understand." Tears were running down his swollen face. "You don't have this kind of money, Ash. And there's no way of getting it."
I felt my face fall.
"How much do you owe, Marlin?" I was afraid of the answer now.
"420,000 credits."
I stepped backwards and sat down hard on the chair next to his desk. "No way," I said, terrified.
"Yes, Ashlyn. I'm such a fuck up. I've brought this down on all of us."
My blood ran cold. "What do you mean all of us?"
"If I don't pay in two weeks, they're going to kill me, Ash. And all of you, too."
He dissolved into sobs at this point, but I sat in shock. Could our lives be over? After how hard I had worked to keep us all together, taking care of the family?
I sat there until he stopped crying, trying to stay calm and think. I had to find a way out of this. I would not let someone kill us all for some stupid gambling debts. I would figure out a way. I was supposed to be smart. There had to be a way to get the money, and I was going to find it.
"Now what, Ashlyn?" he asked, and he sounded like a little boy — not like the man he was. He sounded the way he had when Mom had died, and he had asked me the same question. I answered him the same way I had way back then.
"Don't worry, Marlin. We'll figure it out. As long as we stick together, we can get through anything."
But this time, I was out of ideas.
________________________________________
The next day, I walked down to the lake and pulled off my shirt. I was wearing a black sports bra and matching black panties. To anyone looking, I might as well be wearing a bikini. No one came here - it was my special place. When things got too much for me, I came here and swam. The water away took my distress.
I climbed the rocks and stood at the top, then I launched myself out and away. There was a heart-stopping moment before I hit and then I felt the shock of the cold water. I swam quickly to the top and floated on the water, looking up at the clear blue sky.
I wondered how things could have gotten out of hand so quickly. I had taken the day off of work. I visited every friend I had to beg them to lend me money. I had gone to an appointment at the bank to apply for a loan. I had gone to a real estate agent to find out how much the house was worth.
I had even asked a rich professor to cover it for me.
Even if they had all said yes (and none of them did), it wouldn't cover half of what we owed. I watched as a lone cloud scuttled across the sky as if being chased by the wind. The water didn't soothe me today the way it usually did.
There was no way to raise that money. I slowly realized that we would have to run.
If the movies were correct, you could never outrun those sorts of creditors. We'd have to leave the planet. I needed a plan. Sam could help me.
I climbed out of the water and slipped my shirt and shorts back on over my soaking wet underwear and ran all the way to Sam's house. She wasn't working today. Then I stopped a few houses away as a thought occurred to me.
What if the loan sharks were watching me?
I didn't want them to add anyone to their death list. I couldn't lead them to Sam. I resolved to avoid her until all of this was over.
With a sigh, I realized that I was on my own. Again. I guess it had always been this way. When Dad left, my mom needed me to help out. She worked all the time, and I was left to take care of the boys. When she died, I was the only one to do everything. I put my university plans on hold, got a job, and started paying the bills.
Instead of going to see Sam or going home, I decided to go to work. I quickly changed and walked over to the shop. Maura was surprised when I walked in.
"I thought you were taking the whole day off, Ashlyn?"
"I was, but I got everything done. I'll put in my regular hours and stay late. There are only two dresses to work on, and that will give us time tomorrow to make the adjustments before the ball, without being rushed," I explained. And the extra money wouldn't hurt any, though as for that, there wasn't nearly enough.
Maura smiled broadly.
"That's my Ashlyn," she said. "Such a hard worker."
I gave a fake smile. That was me all right. Except this time, all my hard work was in vain.
When I had finished the last dress, my back was sore, and my eyes were aching. I closed up the shop and walked home in the moonlight. As I walked through the rich neighborhood, I wondered what it would be like to live in one of these houses. Marlin's debts would be pocket change, most likely. And for a brief moment, I allowed myself to feel bitter. Why did these people have so much and we so little? They had enough to solve my problems, but they would never give it to me.
It wasn't fair.
I emerged from the opulent homes and back onto the commercial stretch. The darkened shops looked forlorn and empty. At that moment, I looked up at the window and saw the sign for TerraMates - the marriage agency.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
How much had Sam said they paid girls to marry some guy for a year? I searched my memory. I hadn't been paying attention. It was not something that I would ever have considered doing before, but I was out of options.
Five hundred thousand. That's what she had said. That would cover Mar's debts. It would get us out of this mess.
Except I would have to marry a stranger that I had never met. Probably have sex with him. I would be selling myself to him for a year. I grimaced, sick to my stomach at the thought.
I had some boyfriends in high school, and I had given my virginity to my first love, so I wasn't exactly innocent. But after Mom died, I had never had time for a relationship. A single one night stand when I had been lonely and drunk, but other than that, there'd been no one.
Sam's words came back to me.
I'm not saying you should do it to find your Mr. Right. I'm saying you should do it for the money.
I shook my head and kept walking, leaving the marriage agency far behind me in the dark. I couldn't do something like that. There had to be another way.
I had dreams of someday getting married. And I wouldn't be doing it for money. I would be doing it because I loved the man. He would be my perfect guy. And he would love me. I would find someone who couldn't live without me, not someone who paid a headhunter to find him a bride.
There was another way.
I simply had to find it.
Chapter Four
NATHANIEL
I stepped onto land and made my way quickly to the refugee camp. In a moment, I was calling softly through the canvas.
"Miralee? Are you there?"
A slight woman with soft brown eyes and mousy hair opened the door to the tent. She had a baby in her arms.
"Nat," she said, her face breaking into a pale smile. "You've brought a shipment?
"I sure have, Miralee. How's Mr. Johnny doing?" I said, holding out my arms.
"He's great." She gave me the baby.
"What is it?"
"I'm worried about my milk supply running out. Sometimes there's not enough food. And he's seemed sickly. I'm not sure he's getting enough milk when he nurses."
"What? You have to get a bigger share of rations then. You're eating for two," I said, feeling upset and worried. "There's plenty of pe
ople that can live off their fat."
She laughed though I could see her eyes were still anxious.
"I'll talk to my sister. I'll make sure you get a bigger ration."
"Will you, Nat? I've been so worried about John."
"Don't worry, Miralee. I'll take care of it."
I had dated Miralee for about a month last year. It hadn't worked out, and we had broken up and gone our separate ways.
She had called me three months later, saying that she was pregnant. Not me, thank goodness, but her special fellow ran the moment he found out she was pregnant. She asked if I would help her out.
I had given her some money and called her after her prenatal appointments to make sure she had attended them. The little boy had been born, and I continued to send her money. She hadn't asked for a paternity test, and I didn't suggest one.
Then the island that she and John had lived on was flooded, and she was suddenly an environmental refugee with a tiny baby. She had ended up in this camp.
"How are you doing? Do you need anything else?" I asked her.
Miralee shook her head. She was a proud woman and didn't want to take any more from me than she had to. If she had family or someone else to help her, I'm sure she would never have even contacted me. But there was no one. She was an orphan with few friends.
Getting the supplies and making sure the refugees had enough was personal for me. I wished for the millionth time that our father hadn't tied up quite so much of our fortune in illiquid assets. We had a lot of wealth, but not the cash it would take to help all these people.
If our lawyer got on it, we could have some money ready to buy the things the refugees needed. We could provision some of the camps, but not all of them on a long-term basis. We were rich but not RICH. It took money to support that many people, which was why it was important to me to make sure the supplies got to their original destinations.
It was the only way I could truly help Miralee and Johnny and all the refugees.
If the supplies got diverted, Johnny would go hungry or even die. I knew if a baby's mother didn't have the food she needed then the children failed to thrive. Miralee needed to keep up her milk supply. There was no one else to feed this little guy.
