by Nina Blake
Stefan nodded thoughtfully, his eyes lingering on her. ‘You seem like a nice person.’
His gaze turned earnest, much like when he examined a legal brief or was negotiating with clients. He had an excellent pokerface, yet Claire knew that behind the mask Stefan’s mind was constantly ticking over, reading and interpreting people and weighing the ramifications of his decisions.
The situation struck Claire as so ridiculous that she burst into laughter. This man had the sharpest mind of anyone she knew, a man who had challenged her intellectually like no other. ‘What’s so funny?’ Stefan asked.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Do you want to tell me what’s going on?’
Claire calmed herself. ‘We were married for a long time, we knew each other so well. It seems odd for you to talk to me that way. It’s such a strange position to be in.’
He rolled his eyes, the action so much like the old Stefan. ‘Tell me about it.’
‘I know it’s not fair on you,’ Claire said. ‘I have my memories, yet you know nothing about me. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Ask away.’
A few moments passed. ‘We were together for how long, ten years? What happened? What went wrong? We must have been happy once, must have loved each other.’
Neither had used the word for so long, but it was true. They’d loved each other, a love like no other: passionate, all-encompassing, enduring...or so she’d thought.
That was why Claire hurt so much now.
‘We were very happy together for a long time,’ she said. ‘We had the kind of relationship a lot of people envied, certainly the kinds of lives most people would envy.’
‘If our lives together were so wonderful, what happened?’
Claire wished she could explain it, wished that she knew the answer. If she did, it might be possible to repair the damage.
But how could she neatly summarise the grief, resentment and arguments, and present it in a nutshell? ‘Things didn’t work out,’ she said. ‘We separated, and we’ve been living in different apartments for about six months. The only reason we’re not divorced is because twelve months separation is legally required beforehand.’
‘Sounds like the lawyer in you speaking.’
‘You’re a lawyer, too.’
‘So I’ve been told. Did we work together?’
‘No, you were more ambitious than me. Nothing less than a top-tier firm was going to satisfy you. You started at Turner Chisholm at an entry-level position and worked your way up, becoming the youngest partner their firm had ever had.’
‘And you?’
‘I’m a criminal lawyer. I’ve never dabbled in the world of corporate business and big bucks. I work for Legal Aid, a free service. Not as glamorous as your position, but it suits me.’
‘I won’t be able to go back to work,’ Stefan said. ‘Not to that job, anyway. There’s no way I could function as a lawyer.’
There was no regret in his voice.
For the old Stefan, this would have been the end of the world. His career had been everything to him—the mark of a man. He’d been proud he’d worked his way up in record time, proud of his achievements and client list, and the work he brought in.
‘You don’t need to worry about that just yet,’ Claire said. ‘You should concentrate on your recovery. I’m sure stressing about your career won’t help.’
‘I’m not worried, just stating the facts. At the moment I can’t remember a single law, other than thou shalt not kill.’
‘That’s a commandment.’
Stefan nodded. ‘Actually, I knew that.’
She brightened. ‘See, you’re making progress already.’
‘Thou shalt not covet they neighbour’s wife. That’s a commandment, too. Is that what happened to us?’
‘Nothing like that. There was no one else involved.’
‘Good. I’m glad I wasn’t the kind of man to fool around.’
No, but there were plenty of other ways of being cruel, Claire thought. There was a knock at the door, probably one of the hospital staff telling them it was time for Stefan to leave.
Then they’d be alone together.
A bolt of fear shot through Claire at the thought.
The idea had been so much easier when it’d just been a thought in her head. Though taking him home was the right thing to do, that didn’t make it easy, not by a long-shot.
Claire remembered the shock she had felt when Stefan had left, the loneliness, the realization that this was it—he wasn’t coming back. Those first weeks had been the hardest, the most painful. At the time, she’d thought if she could live through that, she could live through anything.
Claire remembered telling herself that she’d endured a much greater loss, a bigger grief two years earlier and she’d survived that, too. So where did that leave her now?
Stefan was coming back.
This time was going to be even harder.
Chapter Three
They’d told Stefan he had a wife, told him her name and occupation, but Stefan hadn’t given much thought to what she’d look like.
The last week had been hell for him, dealing with test after test, doctor after doctor, endless theories. He’d felt like his head was going to explode while trying to take everything in. The endless tests and procedures were frustrating, as well as the fascination the medical staff seemed to show at his condition. Stefan felt like a one-man freak-show.
He had bigger things to think about than Claire—where was he going to live, how was he going to take care of himself, what might he do for a living? The list went on. Why would he be interested in something as superficial as his wife’s looks?
Well, apparently he was shallow enough to care.
What a stunner! Her honey-blond hair and brown eyes were definitely striking, but that didn’t quite cover it. There was a softness in her features and a warmth in her expression which made it seem like she truly cared. At least, it felt that way from his end.
Then there was her shapely figure, with curves in all the right places. Claire had one hell of a body.
Funny though, because he wasn’t normally a sleazy kind of guy, or at least Stefan didn’t think he was. There had been an endless stream of nurses and other female medical staff tending to him, but he hadn’t reacted this way towards any of them. No, he was certain he wasn’t some playboy type, who couldn’t wait to get his hands on any woman he met.
She was his wife, so this was probably a perfectly natural reaction. She was the first person he’d met in the last week who didn’t make him feel like a mutant.
There was a big world out there and he was lucky that this beautiful, kind woman was going to help him face it.
Deciding he’d been staring at Claire long enough, he called out, ‘Come in.’
One of the doctors walked in. God knows, he’d seen enough of them over the last week. This was the middle-aged doctor with lots of curly brown hair and a penchant for loud bow ties. Today, he’d chosen burgundy with pale blue spots. His clothes looked ruffled, like he’d slept in them. He stood with a slight stoop, though he wasn’t tall.
He reached across to shake Stefan’s hand. ‘I’m Doctor Hardy.’
‘I know.’ Stefan stood. ‘We met yesterday. I remember.’
He hoped he hadn’t sounded rude, but he could at least remember what happened yesterday.
‘Of course.’ The doctor turned to Claire and shook her hand. ‘You must be Mrs Porter.’
Claire slid off the bed, standing up and smiling politely. ‘Pleased to meet you, Doctor, but there’s been a misunderstanding. My name is Claire Simons, not Porter.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘You are Stefan Porter’s wife, aren’t you?’
‘Technically, I still am but we’ve been separated for six months. I explained it all to Doctor Patroni yesterday on the phone.’
‘I’m afraid he’s not available. There’s been a death in his family, and he can’t be contacted.’
Claire’s m
outh fell open, her lips a perfectly-formed O. Surprise washed over her features.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I confess my own problems seem rather insubstantial compared to that.’
‘Well, Doctor Patroni informed me we could release Stefan into your care,’ the doctor said.
‘I showed the nurse at reception my ID and the marriage license,’ Claire added, by way of explanation. ‘I had an old, expired passport of Stefan’s at home, so I could at least verify his ID as well. It’s all been approved.’ She reached across and reached for her bag digging something out of it, and then stopped. ‘We probably don’t need this.’
The doctor grabbed the item, though she hadn’t passed it to him. ‘A photo?’
‘I needn’t have brought it.’
Smiling, Doctor Hardy looked at the framed picture in his hand. ‘A wedding photo? How lovely. No harm in bringing it at all. Stefan might like to see this, too.’
The doctor handed him the picture, and Stefan watched Claire’s shoulders stiffen, half-expecting her to snatch the photo back. She should looked so uncomfortable—embarrassed, even—but it was obvious that if they had been married, they’d have had a wedding day. No shame in that.
She must have read his mind, politely saying, ‘Go ahead.’
Looking down, Stefan saw a picture of two young people in love. He looked the same, but in the picture he was wearing a suit instead of jeans. He thought the lines on his face looked a little harder nowadays.
Claire’s pale hair had been longer and was swept on top of her head, baring at lovely neck that was arched towards him in the photo. She was smiling, laughing perhaps, and the look in her eyes said that he was the only man in the world for her.
Today, without a scrap of make-up on her face, Claire looked every bit as youthful and attractive as then, yet the photo captured something missing from her now—a sparkle in her eye, a liveliness, a certain freedom.
Perhaps she’d hardened since then.
‘It’s a lovely photo,’ the doctor said. ‘But you didn’t need to show me this to prove who you were.’
Claire smiled wanly and reached across for the picture, her fingers brushing against Stefan’s. Warmed inside at the unexpected touch, he wondered what it must have been like when they’d been together. Surely he must have touched her, held her, kissed her every day. He must have made love to her. What had that been like? Slow, sensual kisses and languorous lovemaking or hot quick sex? He didn’t know which. What would she look like naked? Oh, he had no trouble picturing her soft pale flesh, the curve of her waist, the shape of her breasts and how they’d feel when he held them in his hands...
Claire slid the photo back into her bag, zipping it up.
‘I went through this with Stefan yesterday,’ Doctor Hardy said. ‘We’ve done every test imaginable from CT scans and MRIs to blood tests. He’s in excellent health in every way, except one: he has lost his memory. His condition is extremely uncommon, one of those rare medical anomalies which we simply can’t explain. Amnesia may persist for an extended period of time, though most people get some or all of their memory back. Sometimes they just get bits and pieces at a time, other times it’s all at once.’
‘Twenty of them, I believe,’ Claire said.
‘Actually, there were twenty-four tests.’
‘Oh.’
‘He’s too healthy to be in hospital,’ the doctor continued. ‘The form of amnesia he has is retrograde, and it’s not something we can treat any more than we already have. We just have to wait for nature to take its course. His condition hasn’t affected his ability to form new memories, and he still seems to pick up on things very quickly.’
‘He’s always had a good memory; not photographic, but not far from it.’ Claire’s gaze shifted from the doctor to Stefan. ‘I guess you haven’t lost that.’
Stefan smiled. ‘Yes, there’s just the small matter of that other thing. Missing thirty-four years.’
‘You’re a medical mystery, but I’d like to remind you, you still are otherwise healthy,’ the doctor added.
‘I was making a joke,’ Stefan explained, but Doctor Hardy stared at him as if was a naughty schoolboy who’d just broken an important rule.
‘As I said yesterday, this will be a highly stressful time.’ The doctor turned to Claire. ‘And I believe Doctor Patroni went through this with you, too?’
‘Yes,’ she replied.
‘Are you prepared for this?’
Claire nodded slowly. ‘I don’t think it’s the kind of thing anyone can be ready for, but I’ll do my best.’
There was something almost child-like in her polite responses, the way she seemed so keen to please. Her features were captivating, her big brown eyes, her perfect little nose, those lips that transformed her face when she smiled. However, she was still missing that spark he’d seen in the photo.
‘We’ll send a caseworker, probably a psychologist, to visit you within a week to check how you’re settling in. The frequency of further visits will depend on his initial assessment.’ Doctor Hardy smiled. ‘I’m sure Stefan will be in safe hands with you.’
Stefan had known for some days that the hospital didn’t hold a place for him. Staying here had been fine while they’d conducted their tests and searching for hidden causes or treatable organ failures, but he was healthy. The hospital couldn’t keep a healthy person in their care indefinitely. He’d overheard the nurses, and knew they didn’t have the resources.
This suited Stefan fine. After a week of sleeping in a hospital room, he’d be happy to get out of there. Anywhere had to be better than this place.
Staying with Claire...what would that be like?
His hand inched towards hers, but she shifted her arms and clasped her hands in front of her.
‘I’ll take good care of him, Doctor,’ she said.
Stefan didn’t know what to say. Claire was still a stranger, his wife yet not.
Dr Hardy shook Claire’s hand. ‘It was lovely meeting you.’ He reached across for Stefan’s hand. ‘Good luck to you both. You can get going as soon as you like.’
The doctor left the door open behind him, probably expecting them to shortly follow.
And, just like that, it was time to go.
Stefan looked at Claire, saw a glint of nervousness in her eyes. She smiled, trying quickly to cover it up. He figured she had every right to be worried. Going from being happily married to separated, then being thrown back together under the strangest of circumstances must have been hard for her.
Claire had probably moved on with her life since they separated. Taking him back must’ve seemed like a huge step backwards. Yet, if their positions were reversed, he’d have done the same for her. At least, he hoped he would.
‘Claire, I’m sorry about what happened when you walked in,’ Stefan said. ‘I was disappointed with myself and the situation, but not with you. You’ve been lovely to me. and you’re a very attractive woman. I feel like we’ve just met for the first time, yet nothing about you that has been a disappointment.’
She looked down, her lips curling into an embarrassed smile.
‘It’s the truth,’ he said.
‘It’s okay. You don’t need to say that.’
‘I’m your husband. Surely I must have paid you compliments in the past.’
Claire looked up. ‘All the time. Just not recently.’
Stefan gazed into her eyes, then added, ‘I’ll try not to be a burden. I won’t make this any harder than it has to be.’
She held his gaze, expression softening. ‘I meant what I said before. I’m glad we found you.’
‘Thanks.’
‘You could only be released into someone’s care. So, I’ve taken the next two weeks off work to take care of you and get you back on your feet. I didn’t want to go to work and leave you alone when you’ve just come out of hospital. It wouldn’t be very pleasant waiting alone all day in the apartment. After that, though, I have to get back to my job, my friends, my life. You c
an’t stay with me forever, so this is only until you’ve gotten used to things.’
Stefan raised his eyebrows. ‘Maybe I wouldn’t have stayed in the apartment all day.’
Claire planted her hands on her hips, a smile creeping to her lips. ‘No, you wouldn’t. It’s a big city and you’ve got a lot to learn. I didn’t want you getting lost. I want to help.’
‘What about the rest of my family?’ he asked. ‘Why aren’t they here?’
‘Your parents are in New York.’ She held her hands in front of her, her stance suddenly prim and proper. ‘You grew up in California and your family moved to New York when you were in your teens. Then, you came here in your twenties.’
‘So I’ve been told.’
‘Well, your folks will be flying back in a week. You’ve got a sister who lives in Paris, but she’s on holiday in the Caribbean. She promised to phone soon.’ Claire pointed to the cupboard in the corner of the room. ‘Why don’t you grab your things and we’ll get going?’
Walking across, Stefan reached into the closet for the backpack. ‘There’s only this. I don’t have much.’
His sister was going to call. His parents, probably his closest living relatives, weren’t flying back to Sydney immediately but in a week. Surely they could’ve come back sooner if they were worried about their only son?
‘Do I have any other close friends?’ Stefan asked.
‘Loads of them. You’re a popular guy.’
‘But none of them are here?’
‘People have jobs, meetings, commitments. Your friends all have extremely busy lives.’
‘Did I have a best friend?’
‘Me, I guess.’ She didn’t sound very sure of her answer.
Was Claire the only person he could rely on? She was the only one who was here, that much was clear.
Stefan would have liked to have taken her hand in his and thank her for being so gracious, but she’d seemed so reluctant earlier that he didn’t dare try again. Taking a small step nearer, he caught a hint of jasmine in the air and realised he was close enough to smell her perfume. The scent was so subtle, he wondered if it was indeed a fragrance or if that was simply Claire.
