by Diana Seere
“Good, because I’m not quite sure where I just went,” he said, the words sounding like they were on a half-second time delay. Zach needed to glue his universe back together one word at a time. He looked down at their pressed-together bodies, hair on his chest making a tiny nest around one of her nipples, the way her manicured fingertips rested on his ribs. She was a big woman, elegant and regal, bones sturdy and body aggressive in a natural way.
He loved every inch of her.
Sophia reached up with one finger and traced the line of his face, making him pulse inside her, his cock twitching at the intimate gesture. Her eyes met his, full of a postcoital haze and an expansive love he couldn’t quite believe but felt, too.
“That was…” The skin between her eyebrows tightened as she struggled for words.
He slid his hand between them, palm over her heart, feeling it beat in sync with his. “Yes. It was.” Slowly, carefully, he slid out of her and rolled onto his back, staring at the soaring ceiling. “That definitely was.”
“I’ve never begged before,” she confessed, pulling the sheet up lazily, untangling it from Zach’s calves.
“Should I take that as a compliment?”
He loved how vocal she was, her little sounds and breathy noises saying as much as her words.
Her grin was impish, sweet, bold, and fiery all at once. “Once is an anomaly. Twice means you’re skilled.”
“What does a thousand mean?” he asked.
“You tell me, Zach.”
How else could he answer that but with a kiss?
She laughed beneath him, her lips wet and dry, hard and yielding, until they were kissing with a yearning tenderness that made the world stop.
He broke away and spoke his heart. “What are you planning to do with me?” The dread that washed over him came out of nowhere, their easy intimacy shattered by a part of him that let fear and anger intrude.
She lifted the sheet and looked at his cock. “You need about ten more minutes, I’d guess, but—”
His eyes caught hers, and all of Sophia’s joking faded instantly. “Seriously, Sophia. What am I doing here? You and your brothers talked about Mason Webb. They killed him. I’m not allowed to leave this place. Are they planning to kill me, too?”
She didn’t just reel from his words, or recoil. Instead, she yanked herself out of his arms, moving to stand next to the bed, statuesque and severe. “Are you fucking kidding me, Zach? You’re asking me that right after we just – what?” she asked, looking at him as if he were the transgressor as she pulled on a pair of jeans.
“No, Sophia, I’m not kidding,” he answered. While she put on a T-shirt, he moved to stand beside her, looking down with an authority that took a few seconds to sink in, that lingering sense that he was an imposter fading quickly. “Look at this from my position. I spent months in a makeshift hospital because of a lab accident. My body is no longer mine. My life is no longer mine. And then I’m finally free—released! Within minutes I run into you at the Platinum Club and—”
“I SAVED YOU!” she shouted, picking up a small, old-fashioned wooden clock with Roman numerals on it. Reflexes sharper than he’d ever had before kicked in as he dodged left to avoid being nailed between the eyes by the flying object.
“What the fuck, Sophia?” He watched her fingers close over the base of a very nice crystal lamp and dropped to the ground just in time, the glass shattering behind him.
“You—you—you completely ungrateful beast!” she yelled, picking up pillows and throwing them at him. “Asher wanted to—”
“He wanted to kill me,” Zach said, his own calmness preternatural. He stood and walked toward her, realizing two completely different ideas at the same time: she no longer had anything to turn into a weapon within easy reach, and he likely could have taken two direct hits from what she threw and not had a scratch on him.
She turned away, starting to flee, but he had her by the arms from behind before she knew it, his hands hooked into the crooks of her elbows with a grip that clearly shocked her. She pulled.
He held.
He won.
“He never would have! I swear! He’s not like that!”
“You expect me to take your word for it?”
“What?” Her voice nearly broke him. Zach felt the pain, her betrayal like another heartbeat, but he had to stand firm. He had to know. If this was just some insane cat-and-mouse game and in the end he was the mouse, he needed to mount an attack—an escape—a something, now.
Right now.
Before it was too late.
“Cat-and-mouse game?” she cried out, the end of her words going up and down with more emotion. She really could read his thoughts? Holy hell. “You think I’m toying with you?”
“Are you?”
She sagged in his arms. “No.”
“A master manipulator would say that.”
“A master manipulator wouldn’t have begged you just now for what we had. A master manipulator wouldn’t have offered to bring you to the ranch to train you. And a master manipulator wouldn’t fall hopelessly, helplessly in love with you, Zach, to the point of wanting your—” She seemed to cut herself off as if she didn’t want him to know the rest.
He let her arms drop. She staggered forward, gripping the doorjamb, then turned to look at him, tears in her eyes.
“My what?” he choked out, confused.
And with that, Sophia stormed out of her own cabin, the front door slamming, Zach left with her words echoing in his too-sharp ears.
Chapter 12
Sophia strode down the path to Lilah and Gavin’s cabin, her dark hair whipping around her face. It was barely evening, but the sun had already set. She tripped over a solar-powered lamp on the path and kept going.
How could he doubt her? After everything she’d done for him? After what they’d shared? How dare he?
One moment his eyes are declaring his love and their hearts are singing together, the next he accuses her of playing with his feelings! She’s trapped in the current with him, being swept into terrifying, dangerous places where the past doesn’t exist, everything she thought she wanted is obliterated, the future won’t take no for an answer—and she’s the one playing a game?
She could kill him. And then grieve in torment for him for the rest of her life.
With a growl, she picked up a fallen log and hurled it against a stone, smashing it into pieces.
Their lovemaking had overwhelmed her with sensations she’d never forget for the rest of her life, a sense of completeness, magic, and fate, and she knew he’d felt the same. Until this week, she’d dismissed the idea of being a mother. Sophia Stanton wasn’t the type. But now it was all she could think about. To stop wanting it would be to stop wanting her next breath.
Oh my God, I have Baby Fever. Even she wasn’t strong enough to fight the most tireless and demanding of all shifter instincts. To mate. To breed. Now.
She’d never, ever asked for this. But fate didn’t care.
How dare he question her sincerity?
She stormed through the dark woods, time forgotten, demanding an explanation from the universe. She hadn’t asked for the Beat, for love, for him. More logs became splinters. Startled birds flew into the sky. And then her anger drained away, leaving a much more difficult feeling, and she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing.
How could he doubt her after what they’d shared?
The answer finally came to her when she caught a glimpse of the lake, shimmering faintly under a rising moon, through the trees and the saddle of mountains beyond. She took a moment to stop, feel a crisp breeze on her face, and breathe.
And, reluctantly, understand. He was afraid. He was scared shitless. So was she, in a way, but she wasn’t also experiencing the trauma of becoming a shifter after a lifetime as a human and then being held captive by the family of his beloved while he adapted to his change.
Beloved. He hadn’t said he loved her, but she knew he did. She had heard his thoughts an
d felt his entire being blend—just for an instant—with hers. He loved her. They had both heard the Beat. She wasn’t fooling herself. She had to believe that.
He wasn’t born a shifter. He wasn’t raised as one. In fact, he’d only learned of their existence recently. He had no idea what it meant to feel the Beat, let alone understand how ruthless shifter biology was about the urge to mate—especially for females. Especially female bear shifters who had never experienced it before. Although she felt as if they were going too slow and was starving to have everything now, he was new to their world. New to his own body.
She would have to give him time. What choice did she have? Her heart was his. And her future baby…
Would also be his.
Mine. His. Hers. Each beat of their hearts was a link in a chain, bringing them closer together, holding them, securing them for the rest of their lives.
God, I hope so.
She stopped by her own house to clean up and gather her wits. Upstairs in her bathroom, she gasped when she saw her reflection in the mirror. She looked worse than she’d feared. Her cheeks were pink, slightly sore from rubbing against Zach’s whiskers. Her lips were swollen from his kisses. Her eyes were dazed from the journey they’d taken together and red from tears she’d cried, fearing he wasn’t ready to continue the rest of the way.
And might never be ready.
Let go, Zach. Let it happen.
He didn’t trust her yet, but he had to. He would. She had to trust fate.
She washed, dressed, and walked to Lilah and Gavin’s house. When she got there, the door was open, every lamp blazing with light, and she heard several women’s voices upstairs. She hurried to join them.
Propped up with pillows, Lilah rested with Jess and Molly in a large bedroom facing the lake. Outside the window, lights from the main house twinkled through the trees. Appearing to be freshly showered, Lilah looked energetic and happy, her hair hanging in damp ringlets around her shoulders.
“Sophia! Did you see my babies?” Lilah asked, pointing in opposite directions at two bundles, one in Jess’s arms, the other in Molly’s.
Sophia fought down a resurgence of her anger with Zach. She wanted to be happy for Lilah and Gavin—she was happy—but a vulnerable spot inside her worried she would never have this happiness for herself.
“Of course she saw them,” Jess said. “She helped deliver them!”
“Of course she did,” Lilah said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not that out of it.”
“Sure you are,” Jess said, “but that’s totally OK. You just squeezed two new lives out of your body.” She made kissing noises to the bundle in her arms.
“Grab something to eat,” Lilah said, pointing at a table set up near the door, heavy with platters of food. “Everyone missed lunch. Please enjoy.”
Sophia, who had missed breakfast and lunch and would normally be starving this time of year, glanced at the food with disinterest. If it wasn’t on Zach’s fork, she wasn’t hungry.
“Which baby do you have, Jess?” Sophia asked.
“The boy,” Jess said with a smile. “Tobias, after Gavin’s father.” She gave a slightly bemused look. “And yours, of course. He just ate and looks very pleased with himself.”
Molly piped up. “I have Cordelia, and I think she’s the smartest little baby I’ve ever seen. She looks right at you. I swear to God she’s a genius.”
“Like her brother,” Jess said.
“I’m sure you’re both right.” Sophia went over to Lilah in the bed and bent down for a loose hug. Then she leaned back and held Lilah by the shoulders, searching her face. “How do you feel?” It had been terrifying at the birth, feeling the life inside Lilah struggling and then the mother’s own agony.
“I’m great. You guys don’t have to treat me like this. I’ve got tons of energy. I know I should be tired, but I’m not.” Laughing, Lilah reached out for a huge plastic tumbler and brought the straw to her mouth. “Gavin wouldn’t leave me alone. I finally sent him away so I could enjoy myself for a few minutes.”
“I had no idea babies smelled so good,” Molly said. “And did you see her tiny toenails? They’re the cutest thing I ever saw.”
Sophia moved over to Molly, wondering how long she’d have to wait for her turn to hold Cordelia. Maybe she could claim a professional need to check the baby’s health.
Lilah held out her arms to Jess, indicating she wanted Tobias back.
“I can’t imagine how many gifts Derry is going to lavish on this little guy,” Jess said, standing up to bring the baby to his mother. “And Cordelia, too. He’s going to go crazy, spoiling both of them.”
Lilah took her son and put a hand on Jess’s arm. “I’m so sorry you cut your honeymoon short because of me. You guys weren’t in Hawaii even long enough to get jet lag!”
With her arms already extended to pluck the baby girl out of Molly’s arms, Sophia froze. “Excuse me? Honeymoon?”
Lilah slapped her free hand over her mouth. Eyes widening with agony, she shook her head.
“Way to spoil the moment, Lilah,” Jess said, laughing. Then she turned to Sophia, her smile faltering. “We were going to tell you as soon as we arrived, but Lilah—”
“Tell me? Honeymoon? You— You and Derry—” Sophia sank into a chair.
Derry and Jess, too? Would everyone have all the happiness and leave none for her?
Sophia silently chided herself for her unbecoming jealousy. She’d been through too much, and she wasn’t herself. Derry’s happiness was her happiness. Damn it.
Jess knelt at Sophia’s feet and took her hand. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you as soon as you walked in the door, but I was distracted by the babies and… I thought Derry would want to be here.”
“You’re… married?”
Jess nodded. “We eloped in Hawaii.” A grin split her face. “We just couldn’t wait. And there was so much going on, and we didn’t want to add to the drama.”
“But mostly Derry just couldn’t wait,” Sophia said. “You don’t have to explain. He never did have any patience. Delayed gratification has never been part of his vocabulary.” She held out her arms and smiled as Jess flung herself into them. Her jealousy vanished under an onslaught of love.
“We’re sisters!” Jess said, holding on and squeezing. “It’s official.”
Reflecting on what she had been going through with Zach, Sophia thought that Jess and Derry had formed their most important bond already, when they embraced the Beat that had drawn them to each other. “If he doesn’t treat you like a queen, I’ll kill him,” Sophia said. “But I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”
“Let’s not talk about killing him yet,” Jess said, standing up. “We’ve only been married thirty-six hours.”
Something tickled Sophia’s cheek. When she reached up to wipe it away, she realized it was a tear. Her twin had bonded with another. Their lives would never be the same. But she wasn’t losing a brother, she was gaining a sister. After years of Derry’s womanizing, she’d never expected such a gift.
“Congratulations,” Sophia said, her voice cracking. “Welcome—welcome to the family.”
“Oh God.” Jess gave her another hug. “I’m going to get dehydrated from crying so much.”
Lilah held up her giant cup with the straw sticking out. “At least you’re not breastfeeding twins. I can’t imagine how I’m going to make enough to feed these two.”
Grateful for the opportunity to discuss women’s health, which would help her stop her blubbering about Jess and Derry getting married, Sophia sat on the edge of Lilah’s bed and talked to her about nursing, nutrition, sleep, fluids, lactation consultants, mental health, mindfulness meditation, and anything else she could think of.
But in the back of her mind, she kept thinking about the upheaval in the family. Her baby brother Edward was engaged to Molly. Lilah and Gavin were parents to twins, just as she was a twin. And Jess and Derry were married and would probably have a baby withi
n the year, if Sophia’s instincts were right, and they usually were.
I’m ready for this, Sophia thought. I want a baby.
I need Zach’s baby.
“Thanks for the advice,” Lilah said. “It means a lot to me. Our mom won’t be here until tomorrow morning, and I appreciate your wisdom.”
Wisdom. Me? Sophia wanted to laugh. She’d always been clever, but wise? Like Derry, she’d sought out pleasure and taken what she wanted, living life to the fullest. But wisest?
Sophia. My Sophia.
She heard his voice in her mind, felt his love in her chest. The Beat began pounding, drowning out the sound of the other women’s voices, their cheerful talk and laughter.
“I have to go,” Sophia said, unable to hear her own voice. As if in a dream, she kissed Lilah’s forehead, waved to Molly, gave Jess one last embrace, and floated out of the room.
Following the sound of the Beat.
After Sophia had stormed out of the cabin, Zach had shifted, the sudden, visceral change one that felt so good, the stretch of bone and tendon releasing emotion better than words. Prowling about the massive estate the Stantons called a ranch had given him an appreciation for space. Nature. Open skies and vast prairies, punctuated by thick clusters of trees and ravines that stretched hundreds of feet down to riverbeds.
Running on the wind, chasing his own freedom meant that Zach had needed more, wanting to run back to Boston, find his way home, and resume a normal life.
Normal.
Images of his apartment back in Boston flitted through his mind as he panted on all fours before his guest room, the door open a few inches, allowing him to nose his way in. In Boston he had an elevator, air-conditioning, an affordable rent, and a studio apartment that was tidy. Minimalist even. Room for his bike because why own a car in the city? He’d decorated with other people’s castoffs, ruthlessly pragmatic.
Once his mother, his final relative, had succumbed to cancer, he’d been released from connection by blood.
