by Agnès Ruiz
“Don’t look like that. It’s not so bad. We’ll make up for it, I hope.”
What did he mean by that? Joanna asked herself, going pink. She was pleased that he chose that moment to lean over to pour himself a glass of water. That way, he couldn’t see her. Wanting to redeem herself, she lifted up her glass anyway, and said:
“To your recovery.”
“To settling in, which has had a good start”, he replied with barely concealed sarcasm.
Joanna watched Guillermo, whose face was hard to read. She swallowed, took a gulp, waivered then put her glass back down. Her hand shook and she almost tipped it over.
“I... It’s obvious I’m bothering you. I’d better go back upstairs. I will leave you alone. I’m not sure why I came here...”
16
Joanna stood up, red with confusion. She didn’t like his attitude, both charming and angry: the latter was a sting. After all, she didn’t deserve it. She had done a lot to help him. Too much! She ranted to herself.
“You are not bothering me at all, Joanna. On the contrary, I’m glad you came. I’m so used to eating alone and I forgot my manners, that’s all. My mother always says I’m uncouth.”
Joanna hesitated, looked at him and decided to sit back down.
“The doctor said I should keep an eye on you, especially the first night”, she hiccupped.
“Is that what you’re offering? A night together...”
“You’re being mean again.”
“Far from it.”
He was playing with her now. How did he make her blow a fuse so quickly? Was that his gift? Was he like that with everybody? Yet he seemed perfectly normal, from what she could see...
She could easily go after the meal and leave him there. Except once again, she felt bad. What if he had some kind of reaction during the night and died?
Joanna winced, picturing the scene. Thinking that the man was lying in the flat below hers didn’t fill her with confidence.
“It would be easier if you slept at mine. I have a guest room”, she said quickly, turning purple, dismally.
“I don’t see why I can’t spend the night here and you at yours.”
“Doctors’ orders, that’s all”, she insisted. “And you didn’t have to put me down as your person to inform if need be. Why did you do that, anyway?”
“I told you. I still don’t know anybody here. My mother is old and I prefer to spare her.”
Joanna could have carried on, but she judged there would be time, later on... or not. Actually, it wasn’t really important.
They ate together and laughed a lot. Guillermo told her stories with many gestures and faces which he was so good at and she asked him to repeat. They had long since finished and were still talking. This time, it was Joanna who was talking about the seaside hotel.
“You seem to care about this hotel a lot.”
“It’s always been part of my future. It’s part of me”, she said, directly.
Now she regretted pouring her heart out. But Guillermo was a good listener and she hadn’t had such a good evening in a long time.
She was never so open with Linda. Guillermo and she really could become friends, after all. For a moment, she wondered what a meal with Paul and Linda and Guillermo would be like. It would be fun.
“You’re daydreaming. Or maybe you’re just tired.”
Joanna checked her watch and was dismayed to see it was late.
“You could have told me. How do you feel? Dizzy, sick, feverish?”
Guillermo laughed as she wondered what else to ask him.
“You should feel my forehead to check...”
She got up and placed the back of her hand on his forehead, suddenly realising he was laughing at her. She pulled back her hand and placed both hands on her hips.
“Aren’t you fed up of telling people what to do?”
“You would have laughed, too, if you had seen your face. Life is beautiful when there are bits of happiness every day, you know, Joanna.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but no words came out. On the contrary, she realised he was right.
“Bits of happiness”, she repeated, choked by his simple words.
Undeniably, it echoed inside.
“In that case”, she added maliciously, “you won’t be difficult if you still want to enjoy your bits of happiness in the future!”
She did not budge, and asked her neighbour to grab some of his things to stay at her place for a few days.
“We can take care of the maintenance work during that time. It’s a good compromise. What do you think?”
It was more words than an actual demand. And Guillermo did not mistake it. He got up, this time without dropping his crutches. He smiled and followed Joanna without arguing.
17
The next day, Joanna found herself in the meeting room with the rest of her family. However, she noticed that her grandmother, the mother of her father, was not present. Why? She wondered. Perhaps it did not concern her. Or, Rodolphe G. Gaspardin simply wanted to spare her. Or, she already knew about whatever was afoot...
Joanna wasn’t the only one to question it. Everybody wondered about the surprising convening. The craziest rumours went around. And it didn’t help anything when they turned to look at the secretary.
Marguerite didn’t stop blowing her nose and seemed to be trying to hold back tears. There was no doubt she had already been crying; her cheeks were red, her eyes were shifty and her hands, which didn’t stop shaking, were constantly moving and fiddling with a tissue.
She seemed to have had a difficult night, as even the foundation that she applied thickly every day, wasn’t enough to hide her dishevelled complexion.
Was she holding information regarding the exact content of the meeting?
Joanna couldn’t stop imagining bad news. What could justify such a meeting if it had nothing to do with the state of her father’s health, not forgetting the poor secretary, loyal for so many years, and her emotion?
Finally, Rodolphe G. Gaspardin arrived and everybody turned to him. Joanna searched for a crack in his shell. However, his shoulders were straight, his head high, and even had a tanned complexion. He certainly hadn’t been staying in a hospital during his holiday. And what if he had decided to enjoy his last moments before...
Joanna stopped her thoughts in their tracks as they were too dark and depressing. She tried to focus on her evening with Guillermo. It had been so nice. Her neighbour was funny and good company. Yet although his leg hurt, he immediately added that Joanna’s presence helped him get over the pain. She had laughed, thinking it was a joke, but he remained serious this time. She felt strange, uneasy, and blushed.
It wasn’t the right time to be thinking of all that, she admonished herself when she realised the path her thoughts were following. Her father asked for silence.
Rodolphe G. Gaspardin was standing before them. He gazed at each of his guests, one after the other. When everybody stopped speaking under his unequivocal gaze, he sat, visibly satisfied to have gotten what he wanted from a stare.
Clearly exasperated, he soon turned to the secretary.
Joanna saw him glare at her, as if he wanted her to stop sniffling into her handkerchief. Marguerite lowered her head, unhappier than ever. Joanna felt uncomfortable for the poor woman. What had happened between them both to end in such hostility? Had she betrayed him in some way? She could hardly imagine that. Something was definitely wrong, she guessed, almost ready to get to the bottom of it.
“To begin with, I would like to thank you for being here”, Rodolphe G. Gaspardin finally began, with a strong voice, “and I am happy to see everybody present”.
Murmurings of approval were heard, but were interrupted just as quickly as Rodolphe G. Gaspardin raised his hand for silence once more.
“I asked Marguerite to come because she is going to leave for a well-deserved retirement, earlier than expected. She will leave her service at the seaside hotel in one week, the time to get
the office in order.”
Marguerite wiped her eyes, but remained painfully quiet, avoiding eye contact with anybody. Rodolphe seemed to hesitate then informed them of a small party in her honour.
“You don’t need to bother”, they heard.
Joanna understood it was the unmistakable voice of Marguerite. Rodolphe G. Gaspardin darkened then reconfirmed that it would be taking place.
“You have given so much to the seaside hotel for all these years”, he insisted, without even a smile, “you deserve the attention”.
However, Joanna thought that his words sounded false. It didn’t seem like her father. He was singing the praises of his loyal Marguerite. He assured everybody who listened that he couldn’t manage without her... And then, all of a sudden, he seemed to throw her out like an old sock. No warmth could compensate for the brutal announcement of her departure. Even the party he wanted to organise sounded like a sentence rather than a celebration. Her father continued his explanations and turned towards his daughter.
“Joanna will be in charge of your leaving party.”
Joanna confirmed with a nod, hastily, when she realised that was what her father was waiting for before he could continue. She was still astounded by the unexpected news. Just next to her, she felt her mother become tense. She knew there had always been tension between Marguerite and Lorelli. However, she didn’t know why. Perhaps she should have found out? It was not necessarily too late... But not straight away.
“May I go back to my office now, sir?”
Marguerite was already standing and gathering her meagre things; a notepad, her glasses and her pen.
Joanna waited for her father to ask her to stay. He seemed displeased with Marguerite for wanting to leave, without it being his decision, but he settled on looking at her with a heavy, disapproving silence.
The silence followed Marguerite’s footsteps as she left the room without as much as another glance. As soon as the door closed, Rodolphe G. Gaspardin continued speaking, less subdued. Had he already forgotten how he had just got rid of the brave Marguerite, as if he were swatting away an unwanted fly?
“I would like to announce some good news, and I hope you will be pleased with my decision.”
Somebody called out that he was going to leave as the manager of the seaside hotel. Joanna looked around, trying to work out who had voiced such a theory. She couldn’t put a face to the voice. She would have surely recognised it had it been her brother, Joshua.
Rodolphe G. Gaspardin clearly knew how to handle the suspense, as he let everybody have their guess before asking them to be patient a while longer. For a moment, Joanna thought he was enjoying the situation. She wanted to relax and believe it. After all, if he was playing this little game, nothing bad would come from it...
18
Rodolphe G. Gaspardin opened a door behind him which gave way to a small office that was used for just that purpose. He soon came back accompanied by a young woman. She must have been around the same age as Joanna.
“Just as I feared”, Joanna heard.
The murmur came from Lorelli, sat just next to her. And she hadn’t finished.
“He strayed so many times during our marriage... He couldn’t do any different.”
Joanna knew the words were not meant for anybody else. Not even for her. Lorelli was speaking to herself, annoyed.
Joanna briefly turned to look at Lorelli, trying to make sense of her venom-filled words. Her mother had clenched her fists. She could see the knuckles bulging.
Joanna decided to move her attention back to the newcomer. Her father’s extramarital affairs were unfortunately no longer a secret. Yet, what did any of this mean? She searched the face of the stranger next to her father. She had short, dark hair. Tall; she was half a head taller than her father, but that was perhaps due to the high heels she was wearing. The tight fitting, sleeveless dress on her slim figure left nothing to the imagination. She was dizzying to look at with her generous, shapely breasts. Joanna was surprised as she asked herself if they were real. She cursed herself with her senseless questions.
Her mother’s words continued with a vengeance. Her father’s multiple carnal betrayals... Did this girl resemble Joanna’s father in any way?
Her eyes were blue. Nobody in the family had blue eyes. It wasn’t enough proof, decided Joanna. She could easily be wearing contact lenses.
She also had high cheekbones.
Joanna turned her head towards Joshua to try to find similarities. She was disturbed to see her brothers’ stupefied look. He seemed to be furious, or distraught. It was difficult to say which. Was he thinking the same thoughts as Joanna?
Was this newcomer a half-sister that her father recently found? Or was it her that found him to... to take advantage of the seaside hotel.
Everybody watched Rodolphe as he held the beautiful stranger in his arms. She remained standing, head held high with pride, or arrogance, in her eyes. She smiled as Rodolphe G. Gaspardin gazed at her before speaking.
“It is with great honour and privilege to introduce you to Cécile. Cécile Burnier, my fiancée.”
Shouts of amazement went around the table.
Some words of congratulations, too; discreet, hesitant.
Joanna remained silent and a feeling of loneliness gripped her. She resigned herself by imagining that she could have a half-sister. And why not an ally?
She pulled herself back to reality, and asked herself if she had misheard. Seeing the reaction in the room, it wasn’t the case. Her mother, among others was particularly vehement towards Cécile Burnier’s youth.
“You finally lost your mind, Rodolphe. This little thing could be your daughter, which is what I first thought!” Lorelli intervened, standing up.
“Age has nothing to do with love”, Cécile Burnier strongly retorted, looking scornfully at everybody.
All of them watched the newcomer. Her voice struck their ears. While she could have waited for Rodolphe G. Gaspardin to come to her rescue, she had already spoken up. Joanna felt it wasn’t good.
Moreover, she noticed her mother hesitate then leave the room without waiting.
“I regret that you feel that way”, Rodolphe assured, his face strict.
“Are you happy?” Joshua asked all of a sudden, his eyes firmly on those of his fathers, which had hardened.
“Yes, son, I am. Cécile makes me feel young again.”
“We thought you were sick. Very sick”, Joanna said when it was her turn.
Slowly, she digested the shock from the improbable announcement. However, she did not wish to analyse all that it implied. She wanted to believe in the minute possibility of pure and sincere love. It can’t only exist in books she bravely tried to tell herself.
“What made you think I was sick?”
Rodolphe G. Gaspardin looked at his two children, one by one, intrigued.
“You had some medical tests done”, Joanna answered, loudly to make herself heard over the talking that was going on around her.
“How do you know that? Are you going through my things now?!”
His voice hit her hard. Joanna felt her heart pounding with that verbal blow.
“No, it’s just that...”
Rodolphe G. Gaspardin interrupted her. She quickly realised that he was mocking her explanations.
“Undoubtedly, it’s a good job Marguerite is leaving. You were right the whole time...”
Joanna was surprised. His final remarked was to Cécile. She wanted to ask her father what he meant by that “you were right the whole time”, but she guessed it was too early. It was useless for the moment. The atmosphere was still too heated.
She couldn’t admit that it was Joshua who had found out the information about the medical tests, either. That would imply that Joshua had effectively searched through Rodolphe G. Gaspardin’s things. Joanna refused to incriminate him. As she was the oldest, she would shoulder his misdeed.
“We were worried about you”, she continued without looking at J
oshua, not to betray him.
“As you can see, I’m well, very well. You won’t be getting your hands on the seaside hotel any time soon.”
Howls of protest began all around Joanna, from Joshua and others that were present.
“Rody, darling, don’t be so hard. Show them what you are really like: kind and sensitive. Do excuse him. He didn’t want to come back from our engagement trip. We were having such a good time, just the two of us, alone, far away from work hassles.”
Cécile stopped, looking at the gathering that was silent once more. She smiled, charming them all. Joanna was aware of her looking around the table. Everybody waited for her next words, especially the men, but several of the women, too.
Against all odds, it was the voice of Rodolphe G. Gaspardin that they heard next: not as firm, more accommodating, but as imposing as ever.
“I’m very well. My health has never been as brilliant. If you really want to know everything about the tests you found, Joanna, they are compulsory at my age. Because Cécile and I are going to get married. In one month.”
19
The meeting finished some time later, after all the well-worn congratulations. Joanna kissed her father, asked him again: looking him straight in the eye, if he was happy and he assured her that he was.
“So, everything is fine, Dad. We are delighted to welcome Cécile.”
“Delighted, really?”
“We’ll learn to get to know each other”, Joanna played for time, adding a forced smile.
Rodolphe wasn’t a fool, but he nodded in approval. He placed a hand on his daughter’s shoulder and leaned towards her.
“Speak to your mother. I’m counting on you, Joanna. Tell her to behave. To treat Cécile well.”
“Dad, please...”
Joanna would have liked to tell him not to drag her into their mess. But, Rodolphe G. Gaspardin had a face like a beaten dog. He was searching for an ally. Joanna had been chosen.
