by Agnès Ruiz
Lorelli thought Joanna had forgotten. That she had moved on to something else. Obviously, her daughter was as stubborn as she was. That was interesting. Reassuring, too.
“Do you really want to know?” she challenged her.
“I think there are too many secrets in this family.”
“Not all secrets are good to know. Especially those that hurt.”
“Is that the case with Marguerite?”
31
Lorelli nonchalantly shrugged a shoulder at her daughter’s question.
“I suppose not. We have moved on since then... I think.”
Her eyes far away she began to confide in her. She spoke of the first year of marriage between Rodolphe G. Gaspardin and herself.
“I was so much in love. What a fool. Your father couldn’t resist a bit of skirt for long.”
“You mean...”
“Yes, Marguerite and your father had an affair, for years.”
“And you knew?!”
“I didn’t want to believe it. Especially so soon after our wedding. You see, he was still very considerate towards me. He told me I was the most important one in his eyes. At the time, I hadn’t noticed that he didn’t tell me I was the only one... I have always said I was married too young. I should have enjoyed my youth.”
“I’m sorry, Mum... So sorry. I understand much more now, between you and Marguerite.”
Lorelli turned to her daughter and stroked her cheek in a tender, maternal gesture that she rarely allowed herself.
“Why didn’t you make her leave when you found out what was going on between Dad and her?”
“I was a coward, quite simply. I was afraid he would choose her over me. Well, at least that’s how I imagined it happened.”
“You are much prettier.”
“That doesn’t always count my darling.”
“I’m very surprised. Dad always told us to be decent, and solid.”
Lorelli laughed briefly, bitter.
“Oh! I‘ve heard that one before, believe me. He is the first to use a roundabout way to get his own way. Be careful, Joanna. I’ve told you often. If you want to keep the seaside hotel, watch out...”
“You’re referring to his future wife Cécile Burnier, I presume.”
“She is another one. But at the moment, yes. It’s she who worries me, or more likely, you and Joshua. I’m thinking of what could happen to you if Rodolphe comes out badly after the wedding...”
“Nothing will happen, Mum”, Joanna protested, disbelieving.
“Don’t be so offended, my girl...”
“How do you expect me to react?!”
“Clearly. Quite simply. Because I was like you. I thought nothing was insurmountable... Once! Then, you know, our marriage was doomed. And your father’s affair with his secretary was over a long time ago. Nevertheless, I believe Marguerite is still in love with Rodolphe.”
“That’s why she finds it so difficult to leave”, Joanna understood, mortified. “She always jealously took care of his business. So why fire her? She was going to retire in a few months, anyway...”
“Who knows. Perhaps the future Mrs Cécile Gaspardin saw her as a threat.”
“Do you think Cécile would go as far as getting rid of her?”
“If that’s the case, she has more guts that me. Maybe she is more brilliant that I thought, and especially more than I was back then...”
“I don’t think she’s so calculating. It could be coincidence. Or maybe Cécile will take over her job. She is actually taking over Marguerite’s office tomorrow.”
Joanna suddenly felt an urgent need to find proof of her fathers’ doings. Unforgiving, her mother was trundling towards a more down-to-earth path.
“I heard that Cécile” (Lorelli pulled a face), “was thinking of knocking down a wall to create more space”.
“It’s true she finds her office too small.”
“And Rodolphe is going to accept, I suppose.”
“I don’t know where they are with their negotiations. I believe he wanted to wait until the end of the busy season.”
“That would be wise, indeed...”
Lorelli talked a while longer with her daughter before saying goodbye. Despite her revelations, she promised she would be at Marguerite’s leaving party, and that she would do more than just pop in, as she had previously intended.
“I can make an effort.”
“You don’t have to, Mum. I can find an excuse to justify your absence, don’t worry.”
“Don’t trouble yourself, Joanna. I can live with it. Plus, I’m already dressed. The appointment with my bank manager may as well be good for something.”
“You look very elegant, by the way. As always. You would be an impressive Desperate Housewife!” laughed Joanna, happy to relax.
“Oh, God forbid! A husband under my feet and what else, I’d rather be a cougar, with full possession of my means.”
“Mum!” Joanna protested, embarrassed.
She blushed, but Lorelli laughed at her comeback before slipping away completely.
32
Her smile disappeared as she moved back to Amélie Flaque ex-Blomingdale. As she walked, she thought about the secret she had finally revealed to Joanna. Contrary to what she believed, it had turned out to be easy to say. Joanna had taken the painful news very well. Did she doubt it? She didn’t say so.
She understood; that was the most important.
As for Joshua, she didn’t think about informing him. Joshua was a very different character. And he was a man. He couldn’t understand that feeling of betrayal she had gone through at the time. Joanna could. Hadn’t her daughter’s father abandoned her a week after giving birth?
Slowly, Lorelli thought about the steps she had taken until now, which had only ended in failure. She didn’t know beforehand what she would tell her friend Amélie about her disappointment.
The two women had fixed a meeting in the middle of the afternoon, in a small café near the seaside hotel. Lorelli had told Amélie Flaque that everything would be fine, and that they could sign the lease in the next few days, with a written agreement from the bank.
Amélie was already waiting in the corner of the room. Lorelli would have preferred a table near the patio door. The one Amélie chose was near the bathroom. Just like today so far, she thought. Amélie quickly saw Lorelli as she pushed open the door.
As the bell tinkled happily, she stood up, her eyes sparkling. She quickly understood that there was a problem due to her friend’s gloomy look.
“I’m going to find a solution”, Lorelli argued without hesitating.
“But you said it would be a piece of cake... That they would lend us the money with their eyes closed...”
Ms Flaque became hesitant. What if she changed her mind? Lorelli panicked. No, there was no question. She had decided. She would defend her project and fight tooth and nail, at all costs. It had to work, she claimed, her heart pounding.
She had already done so much. Had she not managed to convince Amélie Flaque to throw herself into this business? She had waited so long for such an opportunity to present itself, that she couldn’t fail so near to their goal.
“I haven’t finished”, she repeated louder. “I’ll call you as soon as I get our meeting to sign the lease. Everything will be fine, I promise.”
“We’ll have to roll up our sleeves and work hard”, Ms Flaque moaned, her voice almost imperceptible.
“We will love our business, Amélie. And we can be proud of ourselves and of what we will accomplish.”
“I don’t know anymore... I’m a bit scared, I think.”
“And just let your memories take you nowhere? Your dream shattered like your heart was broken when you learnt of your husband’s dishonesty?”
Lorelli wondered if she had gone too far. She shut up, wanting to take her words back, but it was too late. She had all her cards out on the table. She wanted a collaborator she could count on. And she felt that could be Amélie Flaque, even if she still str
uggled at the thought of being the master of her own destiny.
Quite unexpectedly, Amélie began to cry. Slowly at first, then painful sobs. Between hiccups, she apologised for making such a spectacle.
“You are right to cry, Amélie, if anything. Pour out your grief for all those lost, lonely years and lack of transparency.”
Amélie blew her nose and looked at Lorelli for a moment, wary of her words. What kind of woman was she, she asked herself. She had never met somebody who talked business and was so firm. Envy filtered through her tears. She wanted to be like her, she knew. She wanted to learn with her.
“I’m with you, Lorelli”, she stammered between sobs.
“I know, Amélie. I’m with you, too. We will make a solid team, capable of crossing mountains.”
“Well, not mountains too high.”
Amélie didn’t have a comeback for her reply. She even began laughing before the bond they had discovered between them.
Her tears had since transformed into a liberating torrent. She soon felt cleansed inside. Her Rimmel had no doubt run down her cheeks; she must look pitiful, and yet, she felt really good: In her place and ready to fight for what seemed essential.
33
Joanna looked over the meeting room that had been transformed into a party room. She had hung up balloons, and garlands which read “Happy retirement” for Marguerite.
A line of bitterness appeared on her lips. Would she have put as much energy into creating such an atmosphere if she had known about Marguerite and her father sooner?
She couldn’t stop thinking that she should have taken advantage of the situation. That Marguerite should have helped Lorelli patch-up her marriage instead of having it away with the boss.
Yet, her mother was magnanimous; incredibly detached from those past events.
Joanna thought she could never feel the same calmness. The proof: she was still upset with Zoé’s father for running away from his responsibilities, for having abandoned her and the baby...
Not up to welcoming the guests, she poured herself a glass of punch. It was fruity and tasted good. It was a start.
She was on her second glass when her brother Joshua entered, then Cécile arrived in a sumptuous sheath dress.
Rodolphe G. Gaspardin’s fiancée attracted looks in the sleeveless red velvet. The only jewellery she wore was a bracelet that caught the lights in the room. Joanna was troubled. Were those real stones?
Of course, she didn’t ask.
Since her thunderous arrival into life at the seaside hotel, Cécile and Joanna had spent very little time together. Joanna recognised that it had taken a lot for her to be there, as she made up a thousand reasons to avoid such occasions.
Actually, she did not want to think of this girl as nice. Whatever they said about her, she was the odd one out.
She kept her thoughts to herself, though, save for her mother who had fully confided in her about Rodolphe G. Gaspardin’s new dark-hired whim.
“Well, Joanna, are you starting the party without us?” Cécile simpered, moving towards Joanna.
Even her steps swayed. Despite her heels, she didn’t keel over. A goddess, thought Joanna with insidious jealousy.
“I just wanted to taste it. It all seems perfect”, Joanna answered bursting a blood vessel. “Isn’t my father with you?”
“Oh! You don’t know?”
“What should I know?”
Joanna was suspicious. Cécile smiled showing too-white, too-perfect teeth. She watched Joanna’s reaction and seemed to enjoy her confusion, as clear as the nose on her face. Sure of her words, she put the boot in.
“Rodolphe isn’t coming.”
“Excuse me?”
“Joanna, could you pour me a glass?”
Joshua had joined them.
“Do it yourself”, she bit back.
“You seem like you’re in a good mood.”
“And what mood should I be in? This evening we are celebrating Marguerite’s retirement and I just learnt this instant that Dad isn’t coming.”
Joanna thundered even more when she realised that her brother already seemed to know about it. She opened her mouth, about to take him on. She realised it was too late. The employees arrived and they warmly applauded Marguerite.
“You have a short speech prepared, I suppose”, Cécile whispered, leaning towards Joanna.
“Yes, of course. I was counting on my father to read it... It was his job.”
“I’ll do it. He asked me to stand in for him.”
“Out of the question”, Joanna rebelled, horrified at the turn of events.
“Come on, Joanna, don’t be childish. Dad would be furious if you didn’t obey his orders.”
It was Joshua’s turn to put his nose where it didn’t belong. Well, not completely.
Cécile held her hand out and Joanna had no other choice than to hold out the page. She was annoyed at herself for being so weak.
She was even more annoyed at her father who hadn’t even made the effort to show up. What had held him? She suspected he was being a coward, quite simply.
Except if it was Cécile who had been so persuasive. She seemed to have a certain power.
“You don’t even know her”, Joanna whispered back, against Cécile.
“I always watch out for old hags like Marguerite. You ought to do the same, Joanna. They know everything that’s going on, nose about everywhere and after you find yourself stuck!”
Joanna was staggered. What was she talking about? Marguerite wasn’t like that. She had never wanted to damage her father or even the seaside hotel.
Really? Her conscience asked, troubled.
34
Joanna was suddenly pleased to let Cécile take care of the speech. Yet, she felt poor Marguerite giving her a look heavy with reproach. Then he mother also looked at her. She seemed more measured. Did she appreciate the fact that she had passed the torch? Was she mistaken about the real reason for all of this?
Cécile got through the speech fairly well, Joanna nevertheless recognised. She had made the group laugh and had even succeeded in making Marguerite cry. Although that wasn’t really hard, come to think about it.
It was time for the gifts. Joanna went to find a box on the table and Joshua took a case.
“We are happy to have had you with us all these years, Marguerite. I hope this gift will remind you of us.”
Marguerite took the box. He hands shook as she unwrapped it. Inside, she found a watch set on a bracelet of two rows of pearls. The watch face, with quite large numbers, was encircled with zirconium which shined almost as brightly as Cécile’s bracelet.
Joanna was suddenly lost for words, as she made the remark. Her sudden thought made her think they were real stones.
Could Cécile really afford to wear such new jewellery, or had her father been up to his usual tricks?
She should check the seaside hotel accounts. She couldn’t leave any stone unturned, especially right now.
She realised she had gotten lost in her thoughts when she heard the guests applauding Marguerite as she opened the case presented by Joshua. It was a bottle of wine from the year she had started working at the seaside hotel.
“I hope I will have the pleasure to try it with you one of these days”, he said, laughing.
“I don’t think so”, Marguerite replied, without even smiling.
“Thank you for everything”, Joshua returned, brushing Marguerite’s surprising, cutting remark aside.
He leaned over to kiss her cheeks, but Marguerite stepped back. She looked at Cécile, Joanna then Joshua then turned her attention back to the watch and the bottle.
“So many years of passion and investment. And then it’s over... Why isn’t Rodolphe here?”
“You are an amazing woman, Marguerite, we won’t forget you.”
As if to stop her uncalled-for, vindictive words, Cécile began to applaud, looking around the room to follow the spontaneous ovation. Then, speaking loudly over the noise, she
invited everybody to help themselves to the buffet.
Joanna realise that not only had Cécile taken charge, but seemed to make everybody believe that she was the instigator of the organisation. She hadn’t done anything! Absolutely nothing.
She knew she should watch out.
Her mother’s words came back to her. She had told her to be on her guard, to watch out, always watch out. Who was this schemer who had her father in her grip?
Their marriage was going to be in less than one month. Until then, she should do some digging.
Even if she risked angering her father and the entire planet, she decided.
An instant later, Joanna swept the room with her eyes. As usual, small groups had formed and everybody had their say. The majority had nothing more to say about Marguerite’s leaving for retirement. Where was she, anyway?
Joanna found her against the wall at the back. She was looking at the photos of her journey at the seaside hotel. Joanna had had the idea of finding those that would be touching, a small gesture to please Marguerite.
She saw her slowly going from cliché to cliché; coming back to the first ones, looking closer and a smile blossoming on occasion, with tears.
Marguerite must be overwhelmed and flooded with images from her past. Perhaps she needed some company? Joanna made a step towards her then stopped.
No! She decided. Marguerite was in tune with herself. Only she could remember what each photo meant... Her and Rodolphe G. Gaspardin!
Once more, a poisonous indignation rose in her throat. He hadn’t come. How could he have been so rude to Marguerite, after all they had been through together?
She thought about their love affair... If that’s what it had been and not just about sex!
How long had it gone on for? She wondered for the umpteenth time.
Unable to wait any longer, she discreetly left the room and decided to see if her father was in his office. She was going to make him come, whatever it took, if only to make a show and to greet Marguerite. He owed her that, she maintained.
