“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.” I hold my hand up to stop her and smile while trying to think of answers to her questions without giving away too much. “No one’s getting married, we haven’t even discussed marriage. It’s overwhelming enough dealing with this pregnancy. As for your other questions, we’ve been living together for the past six weeks. I’m four months pregnant so the baby’s due in September.”
“You move fast. I should start taking lessons from you. You got the man, the money, and the baby to seal the deal.”
“It’s not like that, Chloe, I don’t want anything from him. He loves me. We want to raise this baby together. That’s all that matters for now.”
“Then you’re a damn fool, take everything he’s willing to give you. You’re going to need it at the end of this pregnancy when your body is tore down from the ravages of pregnancy. Love and his baby can’t secure your future. No one’s ever paid rent with love.”
Ava puts her cocktail down and rolls her eyes at Chloe. “Don’t listen to her, she’s jaded because she can’t find a decent man. My cousin loves you. You’re the only woman he’s loved, he wouldn’t leave you. He will always take care of you and his child. If he didn’t, I would personally beat the shit out of him.”
“I know Nick loves me, and for now that’s all that matters. We’re taking it one day at a time.” I know Chloe is not being a hater. She has a hard exterior on the outside, but inside she’s vulnerable. She’s been hurt a lot by men in her life. In high school she was wild and out of control, drinking and partying all the time. She broke down one day and told me her father used to beat her mother black-and-blue and made her watch while she cried for him to stop. One day he left them with a mountain of bills and no money…she said it was the best day of her life. I’m the only one she told. So I understand where she’s coming from.
“Cat, Ava’s right, don’t listen to Chloe, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Is Nick excited about being a first-time father?”
“He’s still getting used to the idea of us having a baby. His hand is on my stomach all the time, talking to the baby. He insists on being at all my doctor’s appointments driving me crazy and asking all kinds of questions.”
“That is so cute,” Isabelle gushes. “You’re not even showing. I hate you, when I was four months with Conner I looked like I had a beach ball under my shirt.”
“I’m showing a little, you can’t see it now but I have a little baby bump.”
“You’re going to bounce right back after you have this baby.”
“I hope so.”
“I can’t wait till the baby shower, your family must be so excited.”
Ava and I look at each other. “Yeah! Excited can’t describe how they feel.”
They don’t know this isn’t the first pregnancy for Nick. I didn’t tell them about Kate or the baby she lost for Nick. The fewer people who know, the better. I won’t have to get that look of pity and oh God, how could you do that to your sister. I know the look, I see it often enough when I look in the mirror. I’ll tell them, but not now. I have an idea what they would say and think of Nick, especially Chloe. As much shit as Ava gave Nick when she found out about the baby, if Chloe says the wrong thing about him, they’re going to go at each other MMA style.
Nick’s not home yet so I take a shower, put my robe on, and go over homework and my lesson plan for the upcoming week, and try to forget about the little surprise I found in one of the drawers earlier.
When he comes home I’m standing in front of the wall-to-wall window in the living room, looking out at the city lit up with lights, and people going about their business. There are promises of fresh new beginnings with flowers blooming in the moonlight. A slight crisp breeze is blowing through the air on this beautiful spring night. Before I see him, I feel him and hear him, and it brings a smile to my face. This is home, this is the feeling I want to have, waiting for him to come home to me every night.
He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me over my baby bump. I breathe in his clean fresh scent mixed with his cologne. He gives me a light open-mouthed kiss on the side of my neck. I close my eyes a second at the feel of his lips on me. I love the way he feels against me.
“How was lunch with the girls?”
“It was good, but you know Ava.” I put my hands over his and lean my weight back.
“Was she giving you shit?”
“You don’t want to know what she said.”
“It must have been funny, you’re laughing.”
“You would not have thought so. But now that I think about it, it was funny.”
“As long as it makes you smile it doesn’t matter.”
He kisses my hair and I run my fingers along the side of his face against the rough texture. He needs to shave. “How did it go with your parents?”
“Like I thought it would.”
“Care to elaborate? Am I the slutty sister that slept with her sister’s fiancé and got knocked up?”
“Hey, watch your mouth. I told you about talking shit like that about my girl already.”
“That’s what people are going to say.”
“What people?”
“People.”
“Fuck those people. They don’t know us. If I hear anyone, including my parents, talking like that there’s going to be trouble, someone is going to get ripped a new one.”
“Nick, come on, you’re joking. Your parents?”
“Does it look like I’m joking?” He bends his head down to mine and looks me in the eyes.
Crystal clear unflinching. “I guess not. Don’t leave me in suspense, what did they say?”
“They can’t wait to see you.”
“That’s it?”
“Basically.”
“I’m sure they had a lot more to say.”
“I’m sure they did too. The whole point is they know. If they’re happy for us that’s great. If they’re not, I don’t give a damn and they know to keep their mouths shut.”
“Okay, I guess it’s time to tell Chris. I’ll call him tomorrow and tell him to come over. He’s going to want to know why the hell I’m asking him to meet me at your place.”
“I’ll call him.”
“I don’t know…I don’t want our relationship to affect your friendship.”
“Don’t worry about it. I have to be the one to tell him about us because of the way it all went down with Kate and you. The way I handled things before was fucked up. I should have told him about us and Kate from the beginning.”
“It’s not your fault, I asked you not to tell anyone. You were only respecting what I wanted. I know you would have told everyone if I didn’t ask you to keep it a secret.”
“Doesn’t matter. I need to do it right this time, he should hear about us and the baby from me. Tell me you understand?”
I take a deep breath and exhale. I turn around in his arms, raising my head. “I’ll agree to you telling him only if you do it in this apartment when I’m here.”
“Agreed. I’ll call him tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay. You know what I was thinking?”
“You were thinking what it would be like to be pressed up against the cold hard glass of this window. Being able to see everything and everyone outside while I come inside you from behind, no one knowing what’s going on but me and you.”
He backs me up against the window and sucks on my bottom lip and I move the tip of my tongue against his top lip. Very distracting. “That’s not exactly what I was thinking,” I say, pulling away from the kiss a little breathless.
“You’re thinking it now and I’m the man that can make it happen.”
A thought crosses my mind and I know why at this exact moment, I’ve been trying to forget about it all evening. “How many other women have you pressed up against this sturdy window?”
He brushes a finger across my cheek and takes a breath. “Do you really want to know?”
I shrug my shoulders. I’m not certain. I know
he’s been with a lot of women but, I’m not insecure about that…I don’t know, I guess I’m curious with all that talk at lunch and Chloe today. When I was going through a drawer in his room I saw a picture of a woman with long blond hair leaning against this same glass window. The first thing that came to me was God, she’s beautiful. She had big brown eyes and she was laughing. What made it even worse was she was in a red lace bustier with a pair of handcuffs dangling from her fingers. Who am I fooling? I’m feeling a little insecure, maybe a bit more than that. I play with the buttons on his shirt and he puts a finger under my chin so I can look at him.
“The only thing that matters is you and me. Whatever I did before with anyone else shouldn’t play a role in what we choose to do.”
“No, it shouldn’t.”
“At the same time I want to be honest with you. Sometimes too much honesty isn’t a good thing. Don’t ask for the truth unless you can handle it.”
“I can. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“There was only one other person—Paige.”
“What does she look like?” I already know.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“I told you I could handle it. Tell me, please.”
Disgruntled, he lets out an impatient breath. “She’s average height with blond hair and brown eyes. That’s it.”
Ah, the beauty in the picture. “I saw her.”
“What do you mean you saw her?” His eyes take on a new look staring down at me.
“I didn’t see her in person, I saw a picture of her. In one of the drawers you gave me, she’s very beautiful; she’s your type.”
“I had a type. I only have one type now, you.”
“Why did you break up? You went really far with her, further than any other relationship you’ve been in.”
“We had a lot of differences we couldn’t reconcile.”
“You made it that far I’m sure you could have worked things out.”
“She was growing impatient being my girlfriend. She wanted to be Mrs. Alexander. She wanted to, I’m paraphrasing here, ignite a fire inside of me while keeping her other options open. She made a move she thought would get her what she wanted.”
“What did she do?”
“She dated one of my business associates to make me jealous and show me she had other choices. Then she fucked him and I told her ‘get the fuck out and take your shit with you.’
“After that she was replaceable, as replaceable as a box of used tissue.”
Whoa! “Did you love her?”
“Something like that, we were very close. I cared a lot about her. Big difference.”
“Do you know the difference?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Sometimes you can make yourself think you love a person when you only care about them deeply.” There’s my insecurity rearing its ugly head.
“Where’s this coming from, Cat?”
I look away and play with the buttons on his shirt again and say what I’m thinking.
“Do you doubt your feelings for me, Nick? When will I become replaceable?” His hands tighten around me.
“Hey, look at me.” At the gentle commanding tone he uses I lift my head slightly. “You are irreplaceable. When I said I love you, I meant it. I’ve always known I loved you.”
“I’m having an insecure moment.”
“You have nothing to be insecure about. I know what love is, I’ve known what it is from the first time I kissed you at thirteen. Like I told you, it’s changed over the years and taken different forms but it’s still the same love. Now that we’re together and we don’t have to hide it it’s deeper and stronger and if you ever leave me I don’t know what I would do, I would freak the fuck out. I love you, Catherine Reed, more than you know.”
“You know how I feel, Nick,” I say, eyes misting, pregnancy hormones kicking in. Why can’t I just say it?”
“It’s all right…I already know.” He smiles at me.
I push up on my toes, pulling his head down, and bringing his lips to mine, a caress of a soft gentle touch, communicating without words a mutual understanding of how much he means to me. Surprising me he pulls away making my eyes fly open, confused, until he speaks and I see the dark heat in his eyes stirring the ever-present need for him inside of me.
“You don’t have to say anything you’re not ready to. When I say I love you, I say it for the both of us,” he says gently with an undercurrent of heat and want.
Without another word he catches me off-guard, spinning me around to face the glass window, and making me gasp. He brings his hands around my stomach, pressing against my back, parting my robe and exposing my naked body. Leaving me vulnerable and exposed to him, not only on the outside but also within. Brushing his hand across my stomach, he looks down at me from behind and kisses me behind my ears. I close my eyes for a second, reveling in the safety and security the weight and the warmth of his body brings to me; I lean my head back on him, forgetting how exposed I am.
“Where’re your clothes?”
“I just came out of the shower. I thought you could help me put something on.”
“No, I can’t.”
“Hmm…oh well.” I sigh with his lips trailing down the back of my neck.
I rest my hands against the glass, anchoring myself when his hands move to the sides of my waist and he pushes my breasts up against the cold hard glass. He leans his chest against my back, making my nipples turn to hard tight buds, fully turning me on I’m sure my nipples could cut the glass I’m pressed against. I moan, and with a deep rumbling sound he slips one hand between my legs parting my fold, rubbing me, and making me wet all over. I bite down on my lip and moan again. Dazed, my eyes half open hardly seeing people walking by below us. I recall my state of undress, but I’m so consumed with the need to be filled completely by him to the point of not caring if anyone sees us. “Nick…are you sure no one can see us?”
“No one.”
I don’t care anymore, considering what his fingers are doing to me. My head lolls back on his chest and he fuses our lips in a scorching kiss. My fingers thread through his hair deepening the kiss. I move my hips, pushing against his fingers between my legs and moan loudly into his mouth. He finally slips his fingers inside me where I need them to be. He groans equally as loud, picking up the tempo of his hand; unzipping his pants with one hand, he whips my robe to the side and presses his hardness against my bare ass. “You want it? Say it, let me give you what you want,” he says in a hypnotic voice.
“Yes, give it to me…please.” I moan, desperately spreading my legs wider for him. He accepts the invitation and slides his length between my wet swollen flesh, rubbing back and forth from my opening to my pulsating clit. “Oh God, Nick…I need more, it’s not enough.” I push back, trying to get the head of his dick inside me, but he pulls back and I groan in frustration. “Nick, don’t tease me,” I stutter.
“I’m not. You’re not ready for the things I want to do to you against this window. Not in your condition. Come on, it’s time I put you to bed.”
He unexpectedly swings me up in his arms, his hand under my knees. I gasp and he walks toward the bedroom giving me a kiss. When he takes off his clothes and lays me down, the things he does to me and the places and ways he kisses me are so hot they melt away every thought in my head of any other woman he’s ever been with; it’s amazing.
Nick
When Cat falls asleep I go through every drawer to make sure Paige didn’t leave any more unwanted mementos to remember her by. I flush that damn picture down the toilet. I should have told Cat Paige was the girl I hooked up with when we weren’t together and she works at the law firm. If she knows we work together sometimes and I have to go away on business with her a time or two, her insecure moment is going to turn into everyday worry. I don’t want her worrying for a second over something that is nonexistent between Paige and me during her pregnancy. I’ll tell her after the baby, there’s low risk of her findin
g out unless she comes to the office unexpectedly. Then that might be a problem.
Nick
May
“Babe, relax, sit down.” I put my hand on her waist and pull her on my lap.
“Why are you so calm? My stomach is doing flip-flops. More like jumping beans attacking me.”
“We don’t have to do this today if you don’t want to. I’ll call Chris and tell him to come another day. You’re upsetting my child he’s going to be born with an anxiety problem.”
“We can’t put this off any longer. I’ve been putting it off for too long, I’m showing more and more every day. I’m going on five months next week.”
Don’t remind me. Kate was five months pregnant when she miscarried. It’s the weirdest shit, I’ve been having dreams of Kate going into labor and losing the baby. There’s blood everywhere in the dream, she’s screaming and crying shouting it’s my fault, if I didn’t get her pregnant this wouldn’t have happened to her. I touch her, but when she looks up at me it’s not Kate anymore, it’s Cat. I wake up breathing hard and scared as hell. I pull Cat into my arms holding her as close as possible each time and run my hand over her stomach to make sure they’re fine. It’s happened at least once a week since I called Chris. I haven’t told Cat as I don’t want her to worry. She’s worried enough about telling her family and going to meet my mother next week.
“Calm down, I’m right here with you.” I put my hand on her stomach and kiss her and the baby. “Has he moved yet?”
“I think so. Sometimes I feel a flutter of movement, it’s nothing significant but I feel it. Why do you keep saying he?”
“I know we decided not to find out the sex of the baby next week but I know it’s a boy. We’re having a son.”
“How can you possibly know that? You have some kind of psychic powers I don’t know about?”
“I know, a man knows these things. The father-son connection is strong even from the womb. It’s a guy thing; I believe it has something to do with high testosterone.”
Imperfections Come To Light (The Imperfection Series Book 2) Page 11
