Uh, really? “I am sorry. I am truly sorry, Mother, for those of you I have hurt. It was never my intention, I’m sorry.” What about her apology for the hurtful things she said to me. I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for one that won’t come.
“That’s a start in moving past the hurt and betrayal you’ve caused this family.”
Unbelievable. I made the right decision by not going over there with Nick. He would have wheeled me right back out the door as soon as she said the word apology. Let me get this over with.
“Is Dad there?”
“He won’t be home till much later. There’s a big real-estate deal he’s been working on.”
“There is something I wanted to tell both of you together but I guess you can tell him and the rest of the family.”
“What is it? I hope it’s something good, this family can use good news. We’ve been hit hard by…well, you know.”
You’re going to be disappointed. There is no good way to say this to her. “I’m pregnant. I’m living with Nick. It’s his baby.”
She gasps, glass drops in the background, and in my head I can see her hand covering her mouth. She was probably drinking something, Sophie is going to have to clean that mess up. Too bad she can’t clean my mess of a news up.
Her voice is panicked and high-pitched when she finds her voice to speak. “Good God, girl! All he has to do is touch you and your legs fall wide open with a welcome sign right down the middle. Are you even thinking about Kate? This is going to crush her again. Like this family doesn’t have enough to deal with because of you and him—dredging up old wounds and even deeper new ones. You’re single-handedly tearing this family apart. What the hell is wrong with you, are you stupid? You didn’t hear a word I said when I told you my tragic story. You’re going to get exactly what you’re looking for with that one. Good luck! You’re on your own.”
I burst into tears, clutching the phone against my ear. She hates me.
After an hour of crying and the ringing in my ears stops from her screaming at me, I call Nick. I couldn’t let him hear me in the state I was in. When he answers I try to sound cheery. “Hey, you.”
“What’s wrong?”
“How do you know?”
“I can hear it in your voice. I know when something’s wrong with my girl.”
I sit back in the garden while a warm breeze blows around me and clear blue skies with big fluffy white clouds float by. Being up here makes me feel good. It’s the place Nick and I first made love…second, if you count the back of the car, I like to think of it as the first. It’s special up here, it’s our place, all good memories. I close my eyes and open them, nothing like spring in the city. People laughing and yelling, cabs honking, kids playing, different smells wafting through the air. It’s enough to drown out my mother’s shrill voice in my head. I’m glad it’s not hot enough for the smell of hot garbage to waft past my nose.
“Babe, what’s wrong?”
“I called my mother and told her.”
“She didn’t take it well.”
“I felt like I was standing in the middle of a beach in a tsunami. It was brutal. I should have expected it. Silly me for having the tiniest hope things would go better.”
“Why didn’t you wait for me to come home?”
“It was better this way. It’s over with and I don’t have to hide anymore. Chris doesn’t have to pretend he doesn’t know.”
“You should have waited for me, I wanted to be there with you.”
“I’m fine. That’s a lie. I’m not.”
“They’re your family but if they can’t be supportive I don’t think it’s good for you to be around them. You should be happy you’re having a baby.”
“I am.”
“You don’t sound happy. You sound like you’ve been crying. You’re not happy when your family is mentioned or you’re thinking about them. If they can’t accept you being pregnant for me it’s best for you and the baby to stay away from them.”
“You’re probably right. I don’t want to have to defend myself and being with you until I have this baby. If they can’t accept it then I’m going to have to let it go.”
“I know you wanted it to go differently.”
“We can’t get everything we want. I’ll see you when you get home.”
“Love you.”
“I know. Bye.”
A week later on my way home from work I’m stunned when I see the name on my phone. It’s my mother. I thought about not answering it and sending it to voice mail. I didn’t need to hear any more of what she said to me. I’m still trying to forget it. I don’t know why but something made me answer. Call me a glutton for punishment.
“Hello.”
“Hi, Catherine.”
“I’m surprised to hear from you, you were so disgusted with me last week.”
“Your father and the rest of the family have talked about this unique situation this family is now posed with. We would like to see you and talk about this.”
“Talk about what exactly?”
“See if we can come together and work things out as a family.”
“This is a complete turn-around. I thought for sure you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Can you come over this evening?”
Nick wouldn’t like that. “I think it would be better if you came to my place.”
“I don’t know if that is a good idea.”
“It’s not possible for me to come to the house.”
“We’ll come to see you, then. What time would be best?”
“Around seven o’clock.”
“Okay. Fine.”
“Mom, is Kate coming too?”
“No.”
“You can get the address from Chris. Bye.” I didn’t think Kate would come. I’m relieved, I’m not looking forward to that confrontation. All I have to do now is call Nick and convince him to let them come into the house. He’s not going to be happy. I try to sound as upbeat as possible when he answers.
“Hey, babe.” I half yell into the phone.
“Why are you so perky? Did you win the lotto?”
I overdid it. Dial back on the perky next time, Cat. “I didn’t win the lotto. Something close to winning the lotto, a-one-in-a-million-type thing happened.”
“What is that?”
“My mom called; she, my dad, Jay, and Chris want to come over to talk.”
“No.”
“Nick—”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t want you alone with them. I don’t want them in my house.”
“Your house? I thought it was our house?”
“It is our house. You know what I mean.”
“I won’t be alone. Chris will be there too.”
“I’m not worried about Chris, I’m worried about your mother and Jay. Your mother doesn’t like me and I’m not over the way Jay disrespected and manhandled you. What is he going to do now that you’re carrying my child?”
“Nick, please, they’re my family, and if there is a chance for us to work out our differences I want it to happen. I would like for my child to have both sets of grandparents in his life, a whole family. My family is having a hard time right now. They’re not bad people, you know this. You know they wouldn’t do anything to hurt me or the baby. They just want to talk. Please?”
“I don’t like it. Is Kate going to be there?”
“No.”
“I’m going to call Chris. I want to be there. What time are they coming?”
“Seven o’clock.”
“I’ll try to be there by then. I have a late meeting with a client but I’ll try to speed it up. This is the last chance they’re getting, do you hear me?” His voice is gruff and firm.
“Yes. Thank you for understanding.”
“I don’t like it, but if it will make you happy I’ll give them one more chance to get their shit together for you.”
“Don’t worry, this will be good for all of us.” I hope.
Forty-five minutes after my family arrive, we exchange awkward hellos but no hugs. I’m sitting in the bathroom of our bedroom holding toilet tissue over my eyes, willing myself to stop crying before Nick comes home. Too fucking late. The doorknob turns and I throw the tissue on the floor my heart racing. I pop up off the toilet seat like an overdone pop tart with my head down.
“Hey, babe, I was on my way out.” I try to walk past him as I talk. He blocks the door with his body and holds my chin up. I keep my eyes down afraid to look at him.
“What’s going on?” His voice is firm and steady like his hand on my face.
I don’t look up. I answer and try to move my face out of his hand. “Nothing’s wrong. Something was in my eye and I splashed some water on my face to get it out.”
“Do I look like a fool, Cat?”
He’s going to hit the roof if I tell him. I couldn’t believe it myself when she said it.
“You were crying. Did they do something to you?” The crease lines form in his forehead, he lowers his eyes to mine. “Was it Jay?”
“He hasn’t said anything since he’s been here. My mother and I were talking and I got a little emotional, that’s all. You know my emotions are up and down.”
“Are you going to tell me what she said or am I going to go out there and ask her what the hell she said to you to have you in this bathroom crying?”
I bite my lip and stall as long as I can. I’m going to have to tell him. I don’t want to. If I could only find a way to keep him in this bathroom—away from my family.
“You don’t want to tell me. I’m not asking, she’s going to tell me what she said, Jay and I are going to rip each other apart. Start talking before I go back out there.”
“Promise me—” I pause with my eyes welling up with tears and look in his eyes hoping my unshed tears have some effect on him, “—you won’t go out there and get into a fight with Jay or my mother.”
He straightens up to his full height and looks down at me. My tears are not having the effect I want, they’re making him angry.
“I’m not promising anything. Tell me.”
I hold on to his shirtsleeves and put my head on his chest and practically beg. “Please, please. Don’t go out there and go off the rails. I can’t deal with it.”
He takes a deep calming breath and my head rises and falls on his chest. His hand strokes over my back. “I won’t go off the rails depending on what you tell me.”
“My mother asked me if we could talk. We went into your office and she asked me how I was doing. I told her I was fine. She said it was nice to see me and she missed me. I said I missed her too. I did. We talked about my job and how I liked it. We were having a decent conversation. Then somehow the conversation led to Kate.” I stop and wait for him to say something, stretching out the time. The longer it takes me to tell him the better.
“And?”
His hands on my back, I keep my head firmly planted on his chest. “She said she didn’t tell Kate I was pregnant yet. She was waiting for the right time but when would be the right time to tell her her sister’s having a baby with her ex-fiancé.”
“Why is this your problem, didn’t she come here to work things out with you?”
That’s what I thought. “She asked me if it was the right time for me to have a baby with everything going on with the family. Maybe I could consider other permanent alternatives if it would be what’s best for the family and Kate’s fragile recovering state. Maybe Kate could get over us being together but the other thing she isn’t certain of. I have time to have other children preferably with someone else. She wanted me to-to…have an abor—” I can’t bring myself to say it. I love this baby. This baby was a complete shock but not once ever, did the thought cross my mind. My mother…it hurts.
She should have come out and said she wanted me to have an abortion. She didn’t have to go through the whole conversation like she cared.
Nick’s hands slide away from me, I realize my head isn’t moving up and down on his chest and his body has gone rigid. I hear him say low and harsh, “She’s a bitch.”
I step back glancing up to gauge his reaction. Seeing his anger, I start to panic at what he’s going to do out there. I have to calm him down before he goes and does something that he wouldn’t regret, but I would. I place my hands on my belly and say the first thing that comes to my mind, which is the truth. “She didn’t know how far along I am.”
That was the wrong thing to say.
“That makes it okay?”
He turns, slamming the door shut with his fist, making me cringe, shutting my eyes tight. The tears I’ve been holding back fall when the door slams shut and my eyes close.
“No!” I say as calmly as possible, considering my significant other is making me uneasy, punching doors shut.
“Then we’re on the same page,” he says, turning around, his chest heaving, betraying the calm in his voice.
“Calm down, I don’t want this to escalate.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down. This is as calm as I’m going to get. I didn’t want them here because I knew they were going to try some shit like this.”
He opens the door and walks out, leaving me to wipe away my tears and groan inwardly at what’s about to happen. I hear his voice loud and clear, roaring through the air from the living room.
“I want all of you to get out!”
I half run, half walk in my expanding condition to stop things from getting out of control and fists from flying. Not that I’m going to get in between them, I have more sense than that, but I can try to stop it before it starts. When I reach them my hands on my side out of breath from my short run, Jay is moving toward Nick who is standing on the opposite side of my family.
“What?” Jay says, his fist clenched tight. I stand in front of Nick breathing hard with a mixture of adrenaline and fear. With concern in his eyes Jay turns to me, something I wasn’t expecting to see from him today.
“You heard me. Get the hell out,” Nick says over my head.
Chris steps up behind Jay and puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him from getting any closer to Nick. I’m glad he’s here. My dad steps to Jay’s other side and he has a look of utter disdain and disgust across his face looking at Nick.
“My daughter asked us over here to talk. From what I heard in there I’m not sure she should be here with you by herself.”
“Daddy, I’m fine. Nick wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Are you sure about that, baby girl? He seems to have a temper. Are you sure this is where you want to be?”
Nick puts his hand on my shoulder and Jay leans closer. The hand Chris has on him stops him from getting closer. Keeping his eyes on Nick he asks me, “Cat, are you okay?”
Nick drops his hand from my shoulder and says, “Give me a fucking break, are you kidding me? Now you’re concerned about her after how many months? She’s almost six months pregnant with my child. We’ve been living together for over three.”
I turn to him my hands on his chest, tears threatening to roll down my face again. “Nick, I’ll deal with it.” Because I’ve been doing such a great job of it already.
He looks at my mother and stabs a finger at her. “Your mother told Cat she should have an abortion. I’m the last person you should be worried about hurting her.”
Three heads turn all at once in my mother’s direction unbelievingly, wide-eyed, and mouths open. My mother has a hand around her waist and the other over her mouth and the look on her face is one I can’t remember seeing before. She almost looks ashamed. Good. For once.
“Now you can handle it. I’m going back to the office to handle my business. Make sure they’re gone by the time I come back.” He strides past me to the door, closing it with a resounding crack through the air.
I can practically see all the walls shaking around me. Instant. Massive. Migraine.
I put my hands over my eyes and rub my temples to relive some of the tension and thumping in my head. “L
ock the doors behind you when you leave.” Someone puts their hand on me, I don’t know who, I don’t bother to look at them. I’m tired. I’m defeated.
My voice shaking uncontrollably I tell them, “You need to leave. Go home. You can’t stay here.” My head in my hands, I go to the bedroom to lie down. Afraid to cry because of the migraine I have, I compromise by holding myself together as best I can, clinging to his pillow, letting my silent tears soak in. Nick doesn’t come back for a long time. I’m not sure what time he comes home.
Nick
When I come back she’s sleeping in the dark. She’s on her side, her back to me on my side of the bed. I strip out of my clothes, get in behind her, and wrap my hands around her. Damn, she doesn’t have any clothes on. We haven’t had sex since the night I came back from my trip and it’s driving me crazy. She doesn’t know this but I spoke to her doctor. He reassured me it was fine to have sex. I don’t want to take a chance. Being next to her, feeling her skin next to mine knowing I could easily slip into her is testing me. One touch. I put my hand over her warm thighs and move my hand between her legs and I feel curls. She stopped shaving when she started having trouble getting a good view. I don’t mind, but she seemed to. I think I’m going to help her out with that. She’s going to resist, though I think I can persuade her with the promise of mind-blowing sex. I know she’s as ready as I am.
Not tonight, she doesn’t need that tonight. My fingers slip lower and before I reach inside her my fingertips are wet. I need to get up and move away from her before I get carried away with need. I pull my hand away from her and she stops me by taking my hand and placing it over her stomach, putting her fingers between mine. She doesn’t make a sound. I know she’s crying so I hold her close to me and kiss her on the side of her neck. She needs me in a different way tonight. I press my lips against her neck again.
“I’m here for you, baby. I’m always here for you.” Even when I’m a total ass for leaving you here alone tonight. I let my anger come before what you needed. “I’m sorry.”
In the morning she joins me at the breakfast table smiling but she’s quiet. Too quiet.
Imperfections Come To Light (The Imperfection Series Book 2) Page 19
