“How’s my baby?” He puts his hand on my stomach.
I lie down beside him on my side, my head on his shoulder. “She’s trying to kick her way out of me.” And to prove I’m not lying she lands a sharp kick to my side under Nick’s hand.
“He’s going to be the kicker on the football team.”
“Not giving up on the boy, are you?” He kisses me on the head and rubs my stomach.
“You’ll see. We’re not naming him Jace.”
“We’ll see about that if we have a boy.”
“Cat, are you listening to me?”
“Yes. At the shower we’re having mini-Tennessee barbecued pulled pork sandwiches, mini-crème brûlée, baby macaroni, and cheese pies with three different cheeses, along with an assortment of other baby themed foods.” I put my phone down and go over to the door.
“Who’s at the door? I didn’t hear the doorbell ring.”
I sit back down and smile. “Chris texted me, he was in the neighborhood. He’s coming up.” She’s not as excited as I thought she would be.
“Why? Is he taking Mr. Ed out for another walk?”
“You need to stop it. And Mr. Ed was a male.”
“I saw them last night—ruining my night—at the opening of the new bar restaurant I told you I was going to.”
Interesting, she’s been here a while and hasn’t mentioned it once. “Why didn’t you mention it?”
Chris walks in the door all smiles. “What’s up, ladies?” He kisses me and salutes Ava. She rolls her eyes way back. I silently laugh at her exaggerated eye roll.
“Except for one part of the night it wasn’t mention worthy.”
“What wasn’t mention worthy?” Chris asks.
“Ava was telling me she saw you and Sage last night.”
“Oh yeah, that guy you were with wasn’t mention worthy. Boring.”
Ava sits up in her chair, crossing her long legs in her shorts, folding her hands in her lap and gives me a charming smile. Here we go, I see the little devil perching up on her shoulder. Chris smiles back at her with an equally charming smile, getting a bottle of water from the fridge. His phone rings and he walks into the living room to take it.
“My date was not boring. He was a little reserved at first. He was starting to warm up when Chris and old spice showed up. She was in a real good mood last night when she saw my date and tagged along with us upstairs to the club.”
“That must have been fun?”
“It wasn’t. My date didn’t get interesting till way after-hours when he took me home and ended the drought. I was way beyond parched and dry.”
I sit back and smile at her. “You little slut.”
“Yes, I am and proud of it.” She holds her head up high. “I gave him what keeps them coming back for more.”
Coming out of the living room Chris asks, “Keeps who coming back?”
“I had sex last night,” Ava answers with a straight face and a flick of her hair.
“You did what?” Chris says, taking a swig of his water standing next to me.
“You heard me.”
“You slept with the jerk off?”
“There was no sleeping involved and yes, he did jerk me off.”
Oh. My. God. I can’t believe she said that to my brother. They silently stare at each other. It’s like a competition of wills to see who’s going to look away first. Will it be Ava the fiery blue-eyed temptress or Chris the brown-eyed dashing stallion? With a nod of the head we have a winner.
“I’m out. Cat, Imma see you later.”
Ding ding ding, Ava’s the winner.
“You just got here,” I say to his back as he’s leaving.
“I have things to do.”
He’s out the door without another look or word to Ava.
“What’s his problem?” Ava says innocently.
“You are. Tell me you didn’t sleep with that guy because of Chris.”
“Well, he didn’t want me. Someone did. It was a little pick-me-up I will never repeat again. Happy?”
“I hope you used protection during your pick-me-up jerk-off session. You don’t want to end up like this with a guy you don’t seem interested in out of bed.”
“God, yes. I’m not stupid—sorry I didn’t mean it like that.” She looks at me apologetically. “No harm no foul?” she says.
“I know. No harm no foul. How is it you’re my love guru but you can’t guru yourself with Chris?”
“I don’t know? Maybe you should be my guru, your love life is doing pretty good these days.”
“Have you met me?” I wave my hand in her face. “With my record I’m in no shape to be a guru for myself or anyone. As soon as I pop this kid out we are going to kick Chris’s ass for not seeing how great you two would be together. You would be the perfect ying to his yang.”
“Or is it yang to his ying?”
“Whatever, I think you two would balance each other out. Your fiery temper and his cool level-headed thinking.”
“I don’t know about that. He saw me last night, he was watching me a good deal of the time, I was bumping and grinding on my date then he and the old skank left.”
I can’t stop myself from laughing every time she talks about one of Chris’s girls. Must be pregnancy hormones.
“Why doesn’t he leave the cougars alone and try a cub? He might like getting nipped instead of having a bite taken out of his ass.”
Still laughing I say, “You act like the women he’s dating are old gray heads.” In actuality, they are all as gorgeous as her. Ava can be intimidating to a man. Her ravened hair, blue eyes, va va va voom curves, plus she has brains, money, and a mouth on her. If you don’t know how to handle her…she could run you down. I think Chris can handle her though.
Cat
August
“Look at you!” Vanessa says, sitting next to me on the couch.”
“Yeah, look at me, round and unattractive.”
“You are not,” she admonishes with a smile. “Trust me, you look like a swimsuit model compared to me in my seventh month.”
“I’m sure that’s not true, but thank you.”
I look down at Sasha playing on the floor, I missed her. I was bored to death in this house until Vanessa called and asked what I was doing. She wanted me to go see her but I was tired from my daily walk. My doctor told me to cut back on the long walks because my hands and feet have been swelling a lot. Besides, Nick forbade me from going out the rest of the day. The only thing he wants me to do is sit back and relax, boring.
“How have you been feeling?” Vanessa asks, handing Sasha a toy that looks like a tablet.
“Fine, I just can’t do a lot of things I used to do, I’m as slow as a turtle. I can’t even sleep, I’m moving around every minute to get comfortable.”
“You should get a body pillow, it worked great for me when I was pregnant with Sasha.”
“It doesn’t work so great for me. Nick is my body pillow.”
“Aren’t you a lucky girl,” she says teasingly.
I smile, looking down at my hands. “I’m not going to deny it, yes.”
“Very lucky indeed by the smile on your face.”
“Yeah, he doesn’t complain but I can’t have him up all the time in a sitting position lying on him.”
“Why not? You’re the one carrying the baby around twenty-four hours a day for nine months. Hormones all out of whack. Your brother better be as considerate when we get pregnant again.”
“Wait a minute, are you two back together?”
“Yes! And we’re thinking about having another baby.”
“I’m happy for you.” I’m happy for Jay and Vanessa. Even though I haven’t spoken to him since that day at the hospital. The day they came here he didn’t say anything to me. “I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer but are you sure you’re ready after what happened with Sasha?”
“We’ve talked about this a lot, this time I’m ready and prepared if I have postpartum depression again.
Last time I wasn’t ready, I didn’t think it could happen to me. I thought I would have Sasha and fall instantly in love with her when I saw her for the first time. It didn’t happen like that, I thought something was wrong but I didn’t want to admit it. What kind of woman doesn’t feel connected to her own baby? I was afraid of what people were going to say if I said that out loud. I was afraid I was going to hurt her if I couldn’t feel anything for her.”
I reach across the couch and take her hand. I couldn’t imagine feeling like that about my baby. I don’t know what I would do. “It must have been hard for you?”
“It was hard. I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone who would understand. I didn’t get help earlier because I was ashamed and I didn’t want to be labeled as a bad mother—it made things worse.” She takes a breath and pauses. “Through it all your brother was there even when I was a major bitch to him for no apparent reason at all other than he was able to give Sasha what I couldn’t. I was like, why can he do these things for her and feel these things I can’t. I was angry, scared, and upset. I was falling apart. He took care of Sasha when I couldn’t, he became her mother and father.”
I have to agree he did step up during that time. Sounds like Jay. “That’s the Jay I know and then there’s the other side.”
“The one that’s acting like a jackass,” Vanessa says in a whisper so Sasha doesn’t hear. I nod my head and she nods back.
“Your brother loves you, Cat.”
“I didn’t hear any of that love the last time I heard from him. I heard a lot of things but love wasn’t one. The message he left on my phone had no love.”
“I think he’s hurt as much as you are about how he handled the situation.”
I think for a minute, looking at Sasha playing on the floor. Then I look back at Vanessa.
“The first time I got my period Jay had to explain it to me.” She purses her lips at me not knowing why I’m telling her this. I put my hand on my stomach and sit back. “Before you say anything, listen to the story.”
“Okay.”
“I mean, I knew what a period was, but I didn’t know it would happen to me so soon. I went to the bathroom and freaked out. Full-on drama queen hysterics. At the top of my lungs screaming, ‘I’m dying I’m dying call an ambulance!’”
She covers her mouth laughing. “How old were you?”
“Eleven.”
“And no one ever told you?”
“My mother missed that topic of conversation, of things to know about your body.”
“Didn’t any of your friends get their periods?”
“No, I think I was the first one to join that club into womanhood. Anyway, Jay came rushing upstairs. I told him I was bleeding to death. He kept turning me around and patting me down. He was like, ‘where, where? I don’t see anything.’ I told him what happened when I went to the bathroom. Then I saw the knowledge dawn on him. Too bad it didn’t dawn on me. Chris came upstairs for the rest of my embarrassment. Jay was so uncomfortable. He said, ‘Cat, I think you are a woman now.’ I said I’m bleeding to death and you’re telling me I’m a woman now? When what I need is immediate medical attention.’ Covering his face, he said, ‘Cat, I think you got your period.’ Chris looked at me and was like, TMI. He turned to Jay and said, ‘I’m outta here, you can handle this.’ I was mortified. Here I was, having my first period, and my brother had to be the one to tell me. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.”
“Poor thing. Where was your mother?”
“At some garden party or something. He threw me two rolls of paper towels and shoved me into the bathroom and said, I kid you not, ‘use those to dam it up or whatever. You’re going to have to figure something out, this is the best I can do for you.’ There I was with two rolls of paper towels stuffed between my legs, I looked like the poster child for a hemorrhoids ad.” I smile at the memory. “He was really great though. He was waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom. He sat me down on the floor and said, ‘I guess I should say something? Congratulations, you’re cursed.’ He gave me an awkward hug like I was contaminated and I burst into tears.”
“Oh man, he actually said that?”
“Yeah, he did. He gave me a talk about girls and boys and how I had to be extra careful around boys. Then he gave me a bucket of ice cream. He said for some reason it always made girls feel better around this time of the month and it was supposed to help with cramps or something, he didn’t know.”
“Wow!”
“Yes, wow. Something else to add to one of my most embarrassing moments. I know firsthand how kind he can be. The things he said to me after he found out about Nick and I hurt. I would have never thought he could associate me with the words he used. It wasn’t like I said I’m going to get together with Nick, sister be damned. I didn’t plan it, I didn’t plan any of it. It was inevitable, it was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not.
“Everyone gets to make their mistakes and move on,” I say, thinking about my mother and her indiscretions. “People want to be forgiven but when it’s time to return the favor they suddenly forget the mistakes they’ve made in their lives, their flaws, and their imperfections.” Then I remember what Nick said to me on the floor in this same room. “We’re all perfectly imperfect.”
Vanessa nods her head and pats my hand.
“Perfection is not real, it’s an illusion of the way you want people to see you because you don’t want them to see the real you. You have to live your life and do what makes you happy, everyone else does. I can’t live my life for everyone else. Most people including me are afraid that if people saw who they really were they wouldn’t be liked or loved.
“We’re taught to believe having flaws is wrong from when we’re little. Look at the most beautiful things in the world and around you. If they have too many flaws, like your diamonds, they are deemed worthless or less than they are truly worth. All because they can’t change what they are to fit into a perfect mold of what other people think perfect should be. That’s not always the truth, though. What might be flawed and worthless to some might be irreplaceably, invaluably, perfect to me.”
“So true. That’s one of the reasons it took me as long as it did to get help for my postpartum depression. So true.”
Sasha breaks the seriousness of our conversation when she looks at me and says,
“Aunty Cat.”
“Yes?”
“You’re fat, you eat too much.”
My mouth drops open. “What!”
“Sasha! That’s not nice, she’s not fat. Aunty Cat’s pregnant, she’s going to have a baby and give you a playmate.”
I laugh, scooping her up and hug her to me.
“I’m the baby, no baby,” she says in a sullen voice.
“Ahh, sweetheart, you will always be my baby. No one’s going to take your place. I promise.” She hugs me and I put her between us on the couch.
“Vanessa, you’re going to have trouble on your hands when baby number two comes.”
“I can see. We’re going to start prepping her before we conceive ASAP.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”
“It’s like a hundred degrees outside. My feet are swollen, and I feel horribly unattractive. No matter how much you say otherwise.” All I want to do is lie on this bed.
“Your problem is you don’t know how cute you are pregnant with my baby. Best thing I ever did.”
“Proud of yourself, aren’t you?” I narrow my eyes at his smugness.
“Of course. I have the most beautiful, smart, sexy girl in the world and she’s going to give me an equally as smart and cute baby, a little over a month and a half from now. Of course I’m proud, I have it all.”
“I love you. Smugness and all.”
“I’m never going to get tired of hearing you say that. Say it again.”
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“Now I feel bad for not going with you to lunch to schmooze your clien
t and his much younger companion.”
“Don’t worry about it. Your health is more important than my client’s gal pal having someone to talk with so she’s not bored. You’re not to get off this bed for any reason until I come back.”
“What if I have to use the bathroom? Or I get hungry, oh great master?”
“Then go to the bathroom, wise-ass.”
I laugh and bat his hand away from my hair.
“Those are the only two reasons you should leave this bed. I’ll try to make this lunch meeting quick.”
“No, you don’t have to rush back, do your thing. Don’t worry about me.”
“I’m always going to worry about you. When I come back we’re going to take a nice long relaxing bath in the whirlpool. I’m going to give you a massage, rub your back, and wait on you hand and foot. I’m going to pamper you like you’ve never been before. Your feet won’t touch the floor, and you won’t have to lift a finger to do a thing. I’ll be at your service.”
“What are you still doing here? Leave already so you can get back here!” I order.
He laughs and kisses me, moaning into my mouth. I smile and wipe my lip gloss off his lips when he pulls back reluctantly. It’s nice to know at almost eight months pregnant a kiss from me can still turn him on.
“I love you. I’ll be back in about two hours—this is going to be the quickest business lunch ever.”
“Love you. Bye.”
An hour later, I haven’t listened to a word he said. I’m too restless to lie in the bed. I have to be extremely tired to get any rest. It sounds ridiculous but it’s the truth. I’m finally too tired to move around and I lie back down. My phone rings and I lean on my elbow to get it. Am I seeing right. What does she want?
“Hello.”
“Hello, Catherine. It’s me—Mom.”
“I know. I saw your name.”
“How are you?”
“Why are you calling me? You said all you needed to say to me.” I hear her sigh through the phone.
“I got the invitation to the baby shower. It’s a beautiful invitation, cream and gold.”
Imperfections Come To Light (The Imperfection Series Book 2) Page 26
