He pressed the unlock button on the key fob and a black Mercedes nearby emitted a loud honk. He mumbled as he opened the driver’s side door and got in to make his escape.
Screw the tears, I was pissed. Next thing I knew, my hand was on the passenger door handle and I was sliding into the seat. The look on his face was priceless.
“No. Get out.”
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest. “I know you don’t understand this, but you haven’t given me a chance.”
He stared for a moment, dumbfounded. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his demeanor softened ever so briefly. “I don’t know what came over me, but I can’t,” he paused awkwardly, “I have a … work thing right now. I’m going.” His entire being was rigid with tension.
I didn’t have a clue as to what was haunting him, but my heart broke anyway. “Grey, stop.” My body was on autopilot as I put my hand on his chest. His turbulent heart railed wildly against his ribs, but I felt so much calmer. I held his gaze as his breath and his heartbeat slowed. We soon breathed evenly in time.
“I don’t—”
I moved my hand from his chest to his lips and shushed him gently. “Look at me,” I commanded softly. “I know this doesn’t make any sense to you, and it’s fine to think I’m crazy. I knew I was going to meet you, just like this. Well, in the park, I mean. I wasn’t sure when, or exactly where, but I saw you. I’ve been expecting you, Grey.”
His eyes narrowed and he looked like someone else in his place. “Who are you?”
I tried to ignore the accusation, but the suspicion stung. I wasn’t sure how to answer, but I had a good feeling “your soul mate” wasn’t going to be received all that well. “I’m Lucie?”
Something gave way as he considered me, and his shoulders slumped forward in a sort of defeat. “You don’t want me,” he said, his eyes dark and stormy. “I’m no good. For you or anyone.”
“I’ll thank you not to make that decision for me,” I snapped. “And you don’t seem to know what’s good for yourself at the moment, so why don’t we go with my gut on this one?”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I know it’s right. I promise, it’s all right.”
He was silent for a minute until he checked his watch and sighed.
“I really do have to go.”
I echoed his sigh, this time with a bit of my own sadness.
“Do you have a pen?”
He shook his head. I harrumphed and grabbed his phone before he could protest. Working quickly and swatting his hands away, I programmed my number and address in his contacts.
“Find me.”
He just stared at me, the smile working its way up his cheeks. He tried to suppress it, but it wasn’t working. “I don’t … how are you doing this to me? I’m not … I don’t get it.”
“Maybe you’re not supposed to. Quit fighting it,” I ordered with a wink. I opened the door and stepped out, but ducked back in briefly.
“If I don’t hear from you within a few hours, I will hunt you down. I’m not kidding.”
Something about my threat amused him so much that his entire face lit up and he chuckled softly. “That I believe.”
“Promise me.”
His face grew solemn and his eyes locked on mine. “I promise.”
Satisfied, I stood and closed the door. As I turned to walk back toward the exit, my stomach did acrobatics. Three steps away from the car, I heard a car door open and shut. Footsteps jogged behind me, but before I could turn completely, I was spun around and enveloped in an embrace that pulled me off my feet. I was overcome with the scent of him, clean lavender soap and a hint of vanilla. He held me tight as if I might float away. Worry skidded over my skin like shattered glass.
“Are you okay?”
He pulled his face out of my hair and looked at me, his face inches away. His eyes were bright and open.
“No, but you make me think I will be.” He planted a small kiss on my lips before setting me down. “I’ll call you.”
He got in his car and drove away.
I stood there smiling like an idiot for several minutes before I remembered Charlotte. Hauling ass back up to the street, I booked it out of the parking garage. I nearly caused another pileup scrambling across traffic again, but I managed my way back to the High Line five minutes later, unscathed. I found Charlotte sitting on a bench next to the spot I first saw Grey.
“Charlotte!” I heaved in breath after breath. “I’m so sorry. I just, I don’t know how to explain.”
She simpered, her face guarded as she sipped her coffee. She stiffly motioned for me to sit down. I managed to take a deep breath and started to sit next to her.
“I’m very keen about how you know Drew’s brother.”
I missed the bench completely and fell right on my goddamn ass. The ass that Drew’s brother had just been groping in the middle of a parking garage not ten minutes ago. I struggled to my feet, brushing off my clothes and sitting down properly this time.
“Are you all right?” She bit off the end of a laugh.
“Uh, yeah. So, what was that you just said?”
She eyed me suspiciously, considering her next words carefully. “When did you meet Grey?”
I didn’t really know how to explain, so I went for my signature fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants technique. I checked my phone for the time. “Hmm, about twenty-five minutes ago?”
I wasn’t sure her jaw could have dropped lower than it did. Her jewel-green eyes nearly bugged out of her head.
“I know! I know how it sounds,” I said before she could gather herself enough to reply. I hesitated, thinking she’d been so accepting and nonjudgmental, I didn’t want to push it. For some reason, this felt entirely too personal and silly. I was lucky she hadn’t judged me for the crazy she knew about so far. This was my heart.
My hands buzzed around the space in front of us as I quietly explained my previews of Grey to the best of my ability. I told her how I had seen meeting him just as it had happened, at least until she arrived. I avoided the bathtub. Mostly. Okay, I mentioned it. Briefly. When I finished, she didn’t move.
“I suppose I shouldn’t find this all that shocking,” she began, introspective. “I mean, you gave me the lowdown on these previews, but perhaps I didn’t truly expect them to be … well, real.”
I smiled weakly, self-conscious. “I understand that.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t believe you, it’s just … of all the strange coincidences,” she said. “What’s more incredible is that it’s him. I mean, Grey’s alive.”
I didn’t quite know what to ask. I was still getting to know everyone better, but I knew Drew’s parents were retired and living in Tennessee. I supposed there was no significant reason why I should have heard of his brother.
“It’s hard for Drew to talk about.” Charlotte fiddled with her wedding ring, spinning it on her finger. “We met in high school. Grey was a year older and they were best friends—Drew, Grey, and Nash, of course. They were the three flipping musketeers. Or jackasses, depending on the day.” She laughed then, reminiscing.
In turn, I smiled, feeling closer to Grey by proximity. At the same time, I marveled at the crazy coincidence that his best friends—his family—was now mine. Though maybe I didn’t believe in coincidence.
“Anyway.” She quickly shook her head, dismissively. “Grey took off to join the army, and a big part of Drew went with him. He was a wreck. It killed me, but I broke up with him because I thought maybe it would snap him out of it. That lasted a few weeks before Nash begged me to talk to him. He had gotten so depressed, we thought he might jump off a bridge or something. His moods were erratic and … well, I was afraid I’d lost my Drew.”
She inhaled audibly and pinched her eyes shut as she breathed deeply a couple times. “Obviously not,” she said with a smile, albeit a bit forced. “The point is Grey disappeared. Up until today, we all assumed he
was dead.”
I was blown away. “He never wrote? Or called?”
“At first, he called,” she acknowledged with a shrug, “but it wasn’t him anymore. That’s what Drew said. When Grey’s biological dad showed up, he shut off.”
My heart tore into pieces while Charlotte tried to sum up the story of Grey’s biological father’s emergence and the subsequent effects it had on him and his family. It’d been enough to drive a wedge the size of Mount Everest between him and everyone he loved.
The knot in my stomach filled me with ache. Ache not only for him, but for Drew and Nash as well. I could only imagine the heartbreak of losing your brother and best friend to inexplicable disappearance.
I stared at my phone, wishing it would ring. It hadn’t been very long, but I was already worried he wouldn’t call. What if he didn’t call? I threatened to hunt him down, but I never considered I’d actually have to. How in the hell would I find him again?
“Are you okay?” Charlotte asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Sure.”
“I’m not.”
“What?” I focused on her face. She smiled.
“You seem distracted.”
You would be, too, if you realized your maybe-definite soul mate was slipping through your fingers at this very moment.
“Sorry,” I said, genuinely. “I … I’m hungry. Should we eat?”
She nodded and stood.
I had a feeling she knew there was more to it.
“There’s a great little bistro up Tenth Avenue. Excellent brunch there.”
As we walked, I kept checking my phone every ten seconds. First I just checked for missed calls. Then, I made sure it wasn’t on silent. As we walked into the bistro, I set it to vibrate as well. Just in case.
“I just can’t decide what to tell Drew about Grey,” Charlotte said after we placed our orders. “He … I’m worried he’ll be devastated all over again.” There was an element of panic in her eyes.
I certainly didn’t know what to suggest. I shook my head, equally worried about Grey. “Maybe,” I began, pausing uncertainly, “maybe wait and see. Grey should talk to him. Right?”
She didn’t look convinced. “I won’t hide things from my husband. Not something like this.”
I nodded. “Of course, but what if he doesn’t call me? And then all you have is a sighting, essentially?”
“A sighting that you were making out with.”
I paled. “How did you—?”
She laughed, more relaxed now. “You had swollen lips and stubble burn.”
I bent over, settling my forehead on the table. She laughed harder.
“No,” she continued, “you’re right. If you don’t see Grey again and I do tell Drew, it’ll just open old wounds and salt ’em.”
As little as I wanted to admit it to myself, her theoretical scared me—more for the possibility Grey was gone and that was it. We transitioned to lighter topics when our food arrived, and I was grateful. I did my best to be present, but all I could think about was a call that never came.
Chapter Ten
Grey
Heaven and Hell
I had completely lost control.
I groaned, my head swimming. I drove toward Washington Square Park, fantasizing about things I had no business hoping for. That woman had made me feel, and it was going to kill me. It was torture and it pained me to no end to acknowledge how much I liked it. I had to walk away—I had a job to do.
After I found a parking spot nearby, I threw on my sunglasses and got out to feed the meter.
My life the last week or so couldn’t get any more farcical, could it? Not unless my parents and Drew showed up for a comedic roast and knew every minute detail about what I’d been doing the past decade. The look in Charlotte’s eyes had skewered me where I stood. And I saw her wedding ring. Had she married Drew? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know.
Stop. Forget Charlotte. The problem is Lucie.
Lucie said she’d been waiting for me, said she was some sort of psychic. I didn’t buy that, but what did I know? Regardless, she knew Charlotte, and if she knew her, what did Lucie already know about me? Who else did she know? Was she a trick? A test? Another hitter?
Paranoia—finally a feeling I knew what to do with—had sunk in its fangs, perching on my shoulders as it whispered nightmares in my ear. My skin itched as if millions of ants had crawled beneath its surface. I rolled my shoulders and blew out a harsh breath, trying to clear the chaos.
Focus. Work.
I approached the park’s central arch, cautious but casual. Lucie danced around the edges of my vision no matter what I tried, so I used everything I had to keep my mind on the meeting. I may have been sliced in half, but God dammit, I was going to function.
I sat down on a bench facing the arch and adjusted my aviators. It was a sunny day in the city, so I leaned back and spread my arms across the back of the bench. It appeared as if I was enjoying being there, even if all I could see was Lucie wrapped around me. I felt infected and it pissed me off.
“Mind if I sit down?” A woman wearing a well-tailored suit and running shoes sat next to me without waiting for my response. She was probably in her mid-fifties and carried a briefcase with the tiny gold insignia I knew well subtly stamped on its side. I pulled my arms off the back of the bench and slid to the end to accommodate.
“Can you believe this beautiful day?” she asked me, gesturing to the park.
“Hardly.”
She sighed, a little disappointed in my attempt at conversation. The briefcase, now on her lap, popped open and she pulled out a sandwich and set it between us.
“You looked starved, honey,” she told me, leaning over and patting my knee. “You should eat something.”
I picked it up. Bologna. “My favorite,” I said flatly. “I have to get going, so I’ll eat on my way. Thank you.” I smiled politely, a thin mask. She nodded and pulled out a spy novel. Subtle.
I stood and walked back to the car. Once there, I got in and pulled the sandwich apart. There was a tiny jump drive wrapped in plastic, wedged between the bread and the lettuce.
I hooked it to my phone, downloaded, and pored over my new target’s file.
Patrick Reese, forty-six, former operative. Suspected ties to several crime families—Russians, Koreans, and the requisite Italians. An equal opportunity asshole and what do you know? The disloyal bastard who trained me.
Fucking hell.
I soaked in any extra information I didn’t already know, watching the file corrupt itself and disappear once I’d reached the end. I debated my next steps.
What does a drowning man do when he realizes he’s drowning? Keep sucking in water, or grasp at anything within reach to get a lungful of oxygen?
I wanted to call Lucie.
Stupid.
I spotted a meter maid about fifty yards down, and my spot was almost out of time. I started the car, drove until I found another parking garage, and paid for the day.
Once I was back on the street, I realized I was walking toward the High Line again. I stopped cold and performed an about-face, running into a pedestrian who was right behind me. I quickly apologized and sidelined myself, leaning on the closest building.
Rule number one: know exactly what is going on around you at all times. Asshole.
Maybe I needed to fuck her and get her out of my system. Maybe that’s all this was. Lust. That would make the most sense. I plucked my phone from my pocket and stared at it as if it held answers.
Walk away.
I knew that was what I should do. But I could not shake whatever it was that she did to me. I didn’t want to walk away. I felt paralyzed.
The subway was always packed with people and that made it easy to hide, so I grabbed a train toward Times Square. I found a small independent hotel and checked in using an alias, of course.
Once in my room, I pulled out my computer and tried to get to work tracking Reese, looking up any information to pin down
his exact location. It was such a relief when the world dropped away as work acted like blinders. It took an insane level of effort to maintain, and after a few hours, I closed the computer and rubbed my eyes harshly. I’d made some progress, but normally I wouldn’t need a break. I groaned, irritated.
I fell back on the bed, considering the possibility of a nap. I hadn’t really slept except for an hour or two here and there along the road, and not significantly more since Memphis.
I grabbed my phone and earbuds, ready to turn on the white noise app. After entering the passcode, the screen revealed Lucie’s contact entry.
Fuck.
I shoved my computer between the mattress, put my card key in my pocket, and left. Back on the street, I headed west, away from the thick of the crowd. Eventually turning down a semi-quiet street, I gave in to the maddening curiosity and called.
It rang a couple times before her quiet voice answered, “Hello?”
“Still want me?” Pathetic.
She gasped, just breathing for a moment, but then her breath hitched once or twice. “Nothing I want more. Grey?”
“Yes, baby?”
Christ, did I just have a stroke? I turned toward the building next to me and hit my head against it.
She made what I guessed was a happy noise. “Come over?”
It was timid, hopeful, and it made my heart pound. I couldn’t even begin to understand what I was doing.
“I’m on my way.” A million possibilities as to what may have been discussed with Charlotte swarmed me, but I forced myself to stop. I couldn’t change any of it. If I couldn’t stop myself from doing this, I would have to deal.
Standing at the door to her building, I pressed the bell. My stomach lurched when the door buzzed, and I looked up to see a tiny camera above the door. I pushed inside and ran up the steps to the second floor. I wanted to slow down and speed up simultaneously. When I reached the top, it no longer mattered.
She stood in the doorway, beaming like sunlight.
Involuntarily, I smiled wide.
She reached out her hand, ushering me in when I took it. The relief I felt in her touch shook me.
“So now what, angel?”
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