by Tessa Teevan
I had watched Jace play with fascination for the past three years in high school, and he’d definitely given me a new appreciation for tight baseball pants. I loved seeing him in them, but hell if I didn’t imagine him taking them off. He always wore his pants old-school style, with them rolled just below the knee, and I loved that. The tight baseball socks showed the definition in his calf muscles, and my eyes were always drawn to them as they flexed when he stretched.
We’d actually become friends pretty quickly my freshman year, as I was a Diamond Girl, helping out with stats and concessions at the games in order to earn some community service credit. He had always gone out of his way to talk to me as we fell into an easy, comfortable friendship, but it never went beyond that. With our combined love of baseball, we ended up spending more and more time together over the years, watching the Braves and the Reds when we could as we put off studying. By the beginning of my sophomore year, we were practically inseparable. In fact, he started coming around so often that my mom began to set a place for him at the dinner table. We became as close as two friends could be, even when we found ourselves dating other people. Looking back, I don’t think my high school boyfriends really appreciated my close friendship with Jace, and I can’t say I can blame them. He was gorgeous and we were always together. They probably could sense that deep down I wanted more, not that I ever said it out loud. I knew I was in the friend zone where Jace was concerned. Sure, he’d flirt with me a bit here or there, but I never took it seriously. I mean, come on, he was Jace, Baseball God, and I was Sierra Sullivan’s little sister. One of the guys. Never in a million years did I ever expect Jace to feel the same. At least that’s what I told myself. And then my world turned upside down on the night of his graduation.
Since Jace and Sierra graduated in the same class and we all ran in the same circles, I was invited to the graduation party they were both attending. After a few drinks and some dancing, I decided that I needed some fresh air. I went out to the back deck of Ryan Harper’s parents’ beach house and walked to the edge, leaning my elbows on the wooden post as I enjoyed my slight buzz and listened to the waves crashing in the ocean. I remember it being so peaceful until my reverie was interrupted.
“Oh, sorry, Alexa, I didn’t realize anyone was out here,” Jace said as his voice moved closer to me.
I shrugged without looking back at him. “No big deal, Jace. I just needed to get away for a bit. It’s way too crowded in there for my taste. ”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve always hated crowds, especially at these parties. I can’t think and it drives me nuts,” he replied, shocking the hell out of me. Hotshot, popular Jace McAllister hated crowds? How was that even possible? He was surrounded by them constantly. And with as close as we were, how did I not know this? He always seemed so comfortable at being the center of attention.
“Trust me, I’d rather be sitting in the sand, listening to the ocean, than having to hear Dylan and Amy sing Camron’s Hey Ma to each other for the millionth time.”
Jace laughed and surprised me when he grabbed my hand. “Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!”
“Wait, what? Hold on, Jace. You can’t leave your last high school party right in the middle of it,” I protested as he started to pull me towards the house.
Jace stopped at my words and turned to look at me, hitting me with an intense gaze I’d only seen him use on the baseball field. It unnerved me, so I backed up until I hit the wooden rail. He stalked forward, placing his hands on the deck on both sides of my shoulders. He leaned down, and for one split, insane second, I thought he was going to kiss me. His head went to my right ear at the last second, where he whispered, “You just don’t get it. You’ve never gotten it. It makes me crazy, but I also love that about you, Alexa. You’re so unaware that it drives me insane.”
I swallowed hard, wondering what he meant. He was right. I didn’t get it. I had absolutely no idea what he was saying, and my mind started racing as he grabbed my hand, pulled me through the house, and dragged me toward the sand, stopping only to pick up a blanket off the back of the couch. We headed for the shore and then walked for a few minutes in silence before he decided we’d gone far enough away from the party. We settled into the sand behind two huge dunes that hid us from the rest of the world.
After spreading out the blanket, he sat down and surprised me when he pulled me onto his lap. Feeling awkward, I just kind of sat there, avoiding his eyes, not knowing where to place my hands. I didn’t think I’d be able to mask the pent-up crush I’d been hiding all of this time if I looked into his piercing blue eyes. He took his hands and placed them on both sides of my face, forcing me to look at him. He looked like he was about to say something, but instead he shook his head as if trying to shake some thought away.
“Dance with me,” he said as he pulled me to my feet and wrapped his arms around me.
We swayed in time with the ocean’s waves, nothing but the moonlight illuminating us. His strong arms held me in his tight embrace as he whisper-sang to me. This was a completely different side of Jace I’d never been witness to. It was the most beautiful experience I’d ever lived as I moved in his arms, my heartbeat increasing with each word he sang. I never wanted to leave his embrace; I never wanted to forget his whisper in my ear. A few minutes passed in silence as we held each other, listening to the waves crashing and our hearts beating. Eventually he led me back to the blanket and pulled me into his lap once again. I gazed into his eyes and was taken aback. All I saw was a pained expression mixed with hesitation, and I couldn’t have been more confused.
“Alexa, I…I’m leaving tomorrow and I can’t do it without letting you know how I feel,” he said quietly, his voice almost drowned out by the sounds of the ocean.
I drew in a quick breath, unable to believe what I was hearing. “You’re leaving? Tomorrow? I thought you were going to Alabama in the fall to play for the Tide. Are workouts starting early?” I asked, not understanding what he meant and obviously missing the last bit of his statement.
Jace laughed and kissed my forehead. “You really have no clue. At first I thought you were just playing hard to get or that you didn’t want to mess with our friendship, but I’m seeing now that you really have no idea how crazy about you I am.” He inhaled and looked away from me before continuing. “I’m not going to Alabama. I’ve decided to follow in my dad’s footsteps and join the military. I’ve been thinking about it ever since the September 11th attacks, but I finally made up my mind. I ship out for Boot Camp tomorrow.”
I jumped off of his lap, not knowing how to process what he’d just told me. Walking towards the shore, I tried to put some distance between us. He was crazy about me? He was leaving tomorrow? My mind raced, not able to process the two bombs he’d just dropped on me.
Jace hesitantly walked up to me as I turned around. I backed away from him, not sure what I was feeling.
“Hey, what’s wrong? I’m sorry. Did I misjudge your feelings? Oh shit. I… Hell, Alexa, I thought you felt the same,” Jace said, half talking to me and half talking to himself.
“Are you kidding me?! I’ve had feelings for you for three years and you’re telling me the night before you leave town that you feel the same? Not to mention that you’re my best friend! Even as a friend you should’ve told me you were leaving so I could at least prepare myself for it. But to tell me now? How the hell do you expect me to respond to that?!” I yelled as I continued to back away from him
Jace rubbed his hands over his face before he walked towards me and pulled me to him. He kissed the top of my head and sighed. “Alexa, I…I messed up. I should’ve told you a long time ago, but things just felt weird with you being Sierra’s little sister and my best friend. And then you were with Aaron and I was with Mallory. It just seemed like our timing was always out of sync and I never had the opportunity to pursue it. But when I saw you out there tonight, knowing it was my last chance, I couldn’t leave without telling you.”
“So you
’re really leaving? For good?” I asked, breathless at his revelation.
“Yes, babe, I am. I don’t know if it’ll be for good or how long I’ll be gone. But this isn’t it for us. I’ll go through my training, and when I get settled, I’ll come back if it’s what you want. I know that’s what I want,” Jace responded.
My heart rose and plummeted at the same time. The thought of being his was something I’d imagined for the longest time, but not knowing how long I’d have to wait terrified me.
“Just get through your training and know I’ll be here if and when you get back,” I said softly, unable to meet his eyes.
He lifted my chin and brushed away the tears that were slowly falling down my face. His thumb against my skin sent shivers throughout my body. How was it that he affected me so much? He leaned down and brushed his lips over mine in a sweet kiss. Pulling back, his eyes searched mine.
“Can we have this last night together? Just you and me? Here? Forget that party, forget that I’m leaving. Let’s just be us—Jace and Alexa. You and me?” he questioned, his eyes boring into mine, pleading for me to give him a final goodbye. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was expecting, but I knew then and there that I’d give him all of me if he asked for it.
I looked at him, gave him what I hoped was a sexy smile, and nodded. Before I could get any words out, Jace’s lips crashed into mine in a heated kiss. His hands found my ponytail as he pulled the tie out, sending my hair cascading down my back.
“I’ve thought about this for years. Every time I’d look up from the field and see you watching me, I’d picture doing just this,” he whispered as he trailed kisses along my jaw before finding my mouth again. His tongue licked my lips, parting them to find my own. He skillfully stroked my tongue with such heat that I thought I would combust due to the arousal building in me.
We stood there, wrapped up in each other, kissing like two people who’d been missing each other for their entire lives. It was as if we were trying to make up for all the lost time we’d stupidly let pass us over the last three years. Jace’s hands ran down my back as he began to explore my body for the first time. He moved almost hesitantly at first before I allowed my hands to travel down his back, finding his ass and drawing him closer to me.
“I want you, Jace. I’ve always wanted you,” I moaned into his mouth as he pulled away.
Jace laid me down on the blanket and placed his body over mine. We were close enough that I could feel his hard erection against my heat, and I wanted so badly to rub myself into him. It took all of my self-control, but somehow I was able to keep myself still as I waited to see what he was going to do. He tossed his shirt off over his head and lifted me up to remove mine as well. I lay back down and he pressed his chest to mine. His cool skin against mine sent a warmth in between my legs, and I squirmed, wanting more.
“You are so beautiful, Alexa Leigh,” Jace whispered as he nipped my earlobe.
Before I could respond, he trailed kisses down my jaw, down my neck, and he landed on my left breast as he moved my bra cup to the side. His lips latched on as he tenderly worked my nipple over. Back and forth between each one, he teasingly licked, nipped, and bit until my arousal was unmistakable.
“Jace…Don’t stop…” I said, hoping for him to take it to the next level.
Jace groaned as he continued to kiss his way down my body, and I writhed underneath him, wanting, needing more. He slowly unbuttoned my shorts as he gazed into my eyes. With one swoop, he pulled them down my legs and threw them to the side. He began to kiss my thighs as he moved in closer to the place that was already causing my stomach to clench. Suddenly, he flipped me over and set me on top of his mouth as he gripped my ass with one hand while the other moved the fabric from my panties out of his way. I let out a small gasp, not knowing what to expect, but Jace immediately moved his tongue across my clit, biting down for effect. A moan quickly escaped my lips as his tongue moved down and he began to love me with his mouth. I lost all of my defenses and began grinding myself against him. His tongue and my hips could not move fast enough. I needed this release, I wanted this release, and Jace was the perfect guy to give it to me. Almost instantaneously, I felt my orgasm drawing near the surface.
“Jace, stop. I want you. Inside me. Now. Please,” I begged, feeling shameless and wondering at the same time what the hell I was saying.
All of the sudden he stopped. He removed his tongue from me and gently pushed me off of him as he looked up at me with conflicted eyes. He wanted me, I could see that, so what was the problem?
“Shit. Alexa, I… You deserve more than me. I shouldn’t have done this. I can’t take that from you. It’s too much,” he said, breathless and shaky.
“Wait, what? What the hell? What did you think was going to happen? I want you. To hell with what I deserve. I want it to be you. I don’t care about anything else!”
Jace stood up, throwing his shirt back on and tossing mine to me. I was crushed, knowing that our evening had come to an end way too soon.
“I…dammit… You have no idea how much you mean to me. I can’t in good conscience take your virginity and leave the next day,” he said, crushing my heart.
“Jace, it’s fine. I want this. I want you. Even if you leave tomorrow and I never see you again. Tonight, it’s you and me.” I tried to reason with him, mentally freaking out that this may be the last time that I have this chance.
“Alexa, I care about you. I have so many feelings for you that I’m having a hard time bottling them up inside. That’s why I’m walking away. It’s killing me, and I’ll probably regret this for the rest of my life, but… this is goodbye. Not for good. Just for now.”
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. Jace walked to me, kissed my forehead, and began to walk away. Oh hell no, he does not get to walk away from me, I thought. I stood up and ran after him like a lovesick fool—or at least a really horny one. He wasn’t expecting me, so when I jumped on his back, he fell to the sand. I landed on top of him, and when I rolled him over, he looked into my eyes.
“Jace Michael McAllister, you do not get to declare feelings for me, go down on me, and then try to walk away in some ‘knight in shining armor’ fashion. I may be a virgin, but I’m no innocent.”
His eyes went wide as I continued.
“Oh yeah. Little Lexi Sullivan’s run around the bases, making it all the way to third. You’re a hotshot baseball player, Jace. You’re in this to score. I’m a sure thing. A goddamn freaking home run. If you don’t go back to that blanket and send me to home plate, then you’ll have a losing record,” I said, trying to feel as confident as I sounded.
He looked up at me with such emotion that I could hardly handle being so close to him.
“Alexa… I…”
I put my index finger to his lips. “Jace, if I never see you again, I’ll remember this night for the rest of my life. I’ll always have a special part of you in my heart. I want… No, I need it to be you. Please. If you’re leaving tomorrow, give me this piece of you to hold on to.”
Jace let out a deep breath before standing up to brush the sand off of his shorts. I was utterly terrified that he was about to break my heart for a second time when he grabbed my hand and led me back to the blanket. Laying me down, he looked into my eyes, and it was all I could do not to shake nervously.
“I need to know that you’re sure about this. I’m leaving and I don’t know when I’ll be back. But I do know that when I can come back, it’ll be for you. You’re it for me. I want you so bad, but I need to know that you’ll be okay with this. That when I leave you won’t hate me. That this night will be enough for you—at least for now. I promise you, I’ll come back for you, but that has to be enough.”
My heart warmed and melted at his words. I thought I could never see him again and I’d still want to give my virginity to him, even though part of me was beginning to feel anxious and apprehensive.
“Jace, I fell for you a long time ago, so it only makes sense that it’s you. I
’m terrified that I won’t see you after tomorrow, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting you tonight. If nothing else, I want to have the memories of this night. Please. I need it to be you.”
Looking down at me, he pressed his lips to mine. He was gentle at first, and then his tongue moved into my mouth, assaulting my own. I could feel his passion building, and I knew that I had him hooked. He lifted up off of me, and for the second time that night, he quickly performed a removal of both of our shirts. This time he didn’t look at me with a gentle smile. Instead there was a feral look on his face, and I knew he was desperate to devour me. I’d never felt so sexy in my life, and the nervousness vanished as I rose up and pushed him onto his back. I straddled him and began to kiss down his throat, eager to taste every inch of him. He shuddered under my lips as I moved down his chest. My tongue slowly trailed down his skin until he could no longer take sitting still. His hands moved to my hips as he moaned.
Knowing he wasn’t going to let me explore much longer, I quickly worked my way down. His abs tensed as my tongue worked over him. I slowly moved down to the waistband of his jeans and he quickly lifted his hips as my tongue teased him. I took a moment to look up at him, and I was mesmerized by what I saw—his head tilted back, eyes closed, and his jaw tense. He was trying too hard to hold on, but I could see on his face that he was desperate for more. Unbuttoning his jeans, I slid down his zipper and pulled them off of him. I inched his boxers down his legs and he kicked out of them. I gasped at the sight of him, the sheer size taking my breath away. I’d seen several, but none were as big as his.
