by Tessa Teevan
I don’t want to go getting all sappy, so I’ll just say this. Alexa, thank you for allowing me back in. For finally taking a chance on us. I know it hasn’t been easy for you to open your heart, but I promise you, I will cherish it for as long as you allow me to. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that when I think about it, all I see is you. I know that scares you, and honestly, I can admit that I have my own fears. But I’m more terrified of living a life without you, so I’ll wait for you as long as you need me to.
Love,
Jace
As I re-read his words three times so that they finally sink in, tears form in my eyes. I can’t believe he actually remembered the date he called me and I hung up on him. He’s right that everything started to change that day. I started thinking a lot more about him and the prospect of the possibility of ever moving on from Ty.
Sitting back in my chair, I think about this past year, not able to believe that it’s been that long—or that it’s been almost seven months since the reunion. When Sierra asked if I wanted to join them for the trip, I never would’ve guessed that things would have turned out this way. For once, having a sneaky, meddling sister worked out in my favor. I’m going to owe her, too.
A COUPLE of days later, I’m bailing on Brady and making the drive to Jace’s place in Ft. Campbell. After reading his letter, I knew I had to reciprocate, and I couldn’t stand the thought of waiting another week to do so. Brady gave me his blessing in “the name of love,” to which I rolled my eyes. He then forced me to let him read the letter that had me packing my bags in order to spend what I’d previously called a worthless holiday with Jace. Needless to say, he swooned when he read it and forced me to go on a shopping trip so I could knock Jace’s socks off. I didn’t think I needed any help doing that, but to be honest, I’m glad Brady helped me out. I’m going to be freezing, but the outfit underneath my knee-length coat is killer.
I pull up to the townhouse he’s renting and park my car. Checking my makeup in the mirror, I’m satisfied with the smoky look I created that offsets the white silk lingerie that’s barely covering my skin. Taking a deep breath, I grab my purse and exit the car. Staring up at his door, I finally muster the courage to walk up and knock softly three times.
I’m about to call his cell phone when I hear the chain lock sliding and see the door open. A tall blond man opens the door slightly, his eyes widening as they roam over my body and the bare legs that are trembling in the freezing cold.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I think you’ve got the wrong place. We didn’t order any…uh… entertainment tonight,” he says to me, even though I can see his eyes taking in every inch of me.
I feel my eyebrows furrow as I process every word this asshole just said to me. Did he seriously just call me a stripper? Deciding to mess with him, I give him a sultry look.
I cock an eyebrow up at him. “Oh really? I got a call telling me that there was a lonely little boy here in need of some female company. No judgment here. I’ll make sure you have a sexy Valentine’s Day so you can tell your boys you got laid. It’ll just cost you $100,” I say, winking at him while wanting to slap the little smirk off his face at the same time.
He looks me up and down before shaking his head. “Sorry, doll, but I’m not interested. I don’t pay for my women, and my boy in here is so fucking pussy-whipped that he’d probably just spend the hour telling you all about his girl. I’ve heard enough of that, so you can just take your pretty little ass to another customer.”
Fed up with this game, I push past him and enter the townhouse. He’s trailing after me, trying to get me to leave, but I get to the living room before he does. I spot him instantly. Jace looks up at me in surprise, and my panties dampen as I take in his naked chest, my eyes falling on his hard pecs, and I’m ready to kick the blond idiot out of here so I can be with my man.
He jumps up from the couch and crosses to me in three quick strides. Drawing me up in his arms, he questions me. “Baby, what are you doing here?”
I sink into his embrace. “I owe her, too, Jace. For the rest of my life, I’ll owe her,” I say softly.
He leans back from me, his eyes searching mine. “You got my letter? You never said anything.”
“Words wouldn’t have been enough,” I whisper.
Hearing a throat clear behind us, we turn around to see his friend standing there with his hands in his pockets. Jace pulls me towards him to make introductions.
“Alexa, this is Knox, the best soldier I’ve ever had the pleasure to serve with and also a pretty damn good friend.”
Knox and I gape at each other, unsure of how to react. I pull my coat tighter around me, and Knox shifts uncomfortably on his feet.
“This…this is Alexa?” he asks Jace with a confused look.
Jace gives him an odd look before confirming. “Yeah, this is her. I didn’t know she was coming tonight, but I’m glad I can finally introduce you two.”
I can’t help the throaty laugh that comes out of me, and Jace looks at me curiously.
“Sorry, so sorry. It’s just that your buddy here thought I was…umm…private entertainment when he answered the door.”
Jace’s eyes narrow as he looks at Knox, who holds his hands up.
“Dude, she’s all bare-legged in that sexy coat. What was I supposed to think?”
Jace relaxes a little at the thought. “True. Sorry, babe. I’m a shitty host. Let me take your coat.”
Biting my lip, I grip the lapels even tighter than I already was. He looks at me with a curious grin as he moves to untie my coat. I twist out of his arms just in time to keep my dignity. Knox is grinning in amusement, apparently aware of the lack of clothing under the coat.
Knox surges forward, giving Jace a weird handshake. “I’m gettin’ out of here. It was nice to meet you, Alexa,” he chokes out, offering me an awkward side hug.
Once Knox is securely locked out of the house, Jace draws me up in his arms. It’s as if he’s really noticing me for the first time tonight. His eyes darken as he takes in the bare legs that are accentuated by my heels.
Jace pulls me closer to him, and his hands instantly wander to the tie of my coat. He undoes it and uses his broad hands to push my jacket away from my shoulders. Inhaling sharply, he takes in the sight of me as the coat falls to the floor.
I’m standing in front of him in a white silk baby doll gown that ends at the top of my thighs. It has black spaghetti straps with a sexy black bow that draws attention to my chest. It cups my breasts perfectly and tightens on my bust, highlighting my curves. I wanted to go for an innocent yet sexy look, so I paired the lingerie with tall black heels I knew would drive Jace crazy.
He steps back to fully take in the sight of me. The look on his face causes me to shiver, both at the cool air that’s touching my skin and the heated gaze that Jace is sweeping over my body. He doesn’t say a word, and I’m beginning to feel a bit awkward, wondering if it’s too much.
“So fucking beautiful,” he whispers, breaking the silence.
I blush and look down at my feet. He grabs my arm and pulls me into him. I bring my eyes to meet his, and he bends down to give me a slow kiss as his hands encircle my waist. My hands run up the length of his chest before they wrap around his neck. We’re locked in this embrace, our mouths moving at a leisurely pace as we simply enjoy the taste of each other.
Without his mouth leaving mine, he guides us towards the back bedroom. Entering his room, he momentarily moves away from me in order to turn on a small lamp on the nightstand by his bed. He turns back to me and his eyes roam all over me.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I would’ve cooked you dinner—or cleaned, at least,” he asks, his arms sweeping to emphasize the mess in his room.
I giggle, not caring about any of that. “I told you, I wanted it to be a surprise. You’re not the only one who gets to do that, you know,” I inform him, shooting him a wink that has him crossing the room so he can gather me in his arms.
<
br /> “Looking like this, you can surprise me every single day for all I care,” he whispers in my ear in a low growl.
As I stand in the middle of his bedroom, he circles me, taking in every single inch of my barely clad body. When he stops in front of me, I let out a breathy sigh as his eyes darken with a lustful desire. I can’t stop the shiver that runs down my spine when he runs a lone index finger across the skin at my collar bone. My breath catches as I inhale, and his eyes take in the way my breasts rise at the movement. His finger moves down to the hem of the nightie I’m wearing, teasing the upper curve of my breast. He dips it inside the cup as he circles my nipple. Closing my eyes, I lean into him, desperate for him to take more of me in his hand. He bends down, his lips moving across my neck, licking and kissing along the way. He continues the trail down to my breast, which he pulls free from the fabric. His tongue grazes my nipple before he gently bites down on the hardened tip. He slowly makes his way to my other breast, and I let out a moan when I feel his contact.
I can feel him smile against my skin, obviously proud of the level at which he’s turning me on. He pulls away from me and resituates the lingerie so that I’m covered again. He grins at me wickedly.
“Turned on, Alexa?” he asks with hooded eyes.
The blush creeps back onto my face as I nod, somehow unable to speak. He chuckles at my silence and leans down to plant a sweet kiss on my forehead.
“I think I may need to find out for myself, since apparently you’ve been rendered speechless.”
He backs me up against a wall before he kneels in front of me. He gets on his knees, his hands sliding down my bare legs. They slowly work their way back up, and he pauses before he gets to my inner thigh. With both hands on me, he massages the insides of my thighs, getting closer and closer to my core. He hooks his thumbs around the white thong I’m wearing and slowly slides it down my legs. I step out of it, and his hands return to the spot between my legs. Closing my eyes, I lean back into the wall as a lone finger makes a small swipe, and he groans when he feels how wet he’s made me.
“So fucking wet,” he murmurs as he slips one finger inside of me.
I spread my thighs involuntarily as he pumps his finger in and out of me. He slowly adds another finger, and I let out a shaky breath, knowing that I’m straddling the edge. I place my hands on his shoulders, gripping down as he speeds up his movements. After a few minutes, he leans in and his wet, hot tongue grazes my clit. The contact causes my thighs to clench as he begins to lick around his fingers, drinking in every sweet drop of me. The mixture of pleasure created by both his fingers and his tongue causes my hips to jerk as I try to grind into his face, desperate for my release.
Much to my dismay, Jace slows his movements before he completely moves away from me. I whimper at the loss and open my eyes to find him. He’s hurriedly taking off his clothes, and my eyes feast on the sight of his mouth-watering, naked body. I bite my lip as my gaze lowers to see the huge erection I’m dying to have inside of me.
Pressing his hand on the wall behind me, he lowers and roughly presses his mouth to mine, consuming me with wild passion. His hands move down to roam my ass before he pulls me into him, lifting me up on his hips. I immediately circle his waist with my heeled feet. As he presses my back against the wall, I can feel his cock graze against me, causing the heat to pool between my legs.
“I can’t wait another minute, Jace,” I inform him, wanting him inside me more than anything.
Not able to wait any longer, I reach down and guide him to my entrance. Looking me in the eyes, he pushes up into me the same moment that I slide down on him. His eyes close at the connection as he savors the feeling. A moment passes before he slowly begins to rock his hips, moving in and out of me in a rhythmic fashion. Countless minutes pass by as he lazily fucks me against the wall. I try to match his motions, but he begins to speed up, causing my heels to dig into the skin on his lower back.
All too soon I can feel my climax coming on, so I latch onto his hair as he drives up into me. I lean my head back against the wall as shockwaves ignite throughout my body and I feel myself clench around him. He bites down on the skin in the crook of my neck as he thrusts into me one last time before I can feel him releasing inside of me.
We stay in this position as we catch our breath, me against the wall, head tilted back, and him inside of me, his face buried in my neck. I look to the left and spot us in the mirror above his dresser—it’s an erotic sight. The lingerie has shifted slightly, but I’m still fully covered, whereas every line and muscle on Jace is in plain, glorious view. He lifts his head up and shifts focus to where I’m looking. A slow, sexy smile spreads across his face.
“That’s fucking hot. We should probably take some pictures for when we’re apart,” he teases, tracing my jawline with light kisses.
I shake my head at him. “No way. No way am I doing anything that could end up on the internet one day.”
He gives me a pout and gazes at me with pleading eyes, but there’s no way I’m agreeing to that. I shake my head again, and his shoulders slump before he pulls me away from the wall. He’s looks into my eyes and a cocky grin appears.
“I guess I’ll just have to take my time convincing you,” he threatens as he carries me into the bathroom so we can clean up.
A couple of hours later, after showering and catching up, we fall into bed, both exhausted from the long day. I feel bad that Jace has to get up for work, so I don’t initiate the usual pillow talk that occurs whenever we’re in the same bed. I’ll be here all weekend, so there will be plenty of time for that. I roll onto my side and he settles in behind me. His arms wraps around my waist as he draws me closer to him.
“I’m so glad you’re here, babe. Best surprise ever,” he whispers, burying his face in my hair.
I turn my head to place a soft kiss on his lips before settling back in with him behind me.
“I’m glad, too. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here,” I admit.
He sits up and rolls me onto my back before he comes down to hover over me. As he uses his hand to brace himself on the bed, his dog tags dangle in front of my face, and I can’t stop myself from entwining my fingers in them, pulling him down for a kiss. I want heat, passion, but his kiss is slow and gentle, and I can feel a hint of longing in it. He pulls away as his free hand cups my face. His eyes search mine, as if looking for the answer to some unspoken question.
“I love you,” he whispers softly, his eyes not leaving mine.
My heart is pounding at a relentless rate as his words sink in. Three words I haven’t heard in so long. Words I thought I’d never hear again. Words that were replaced by five other ones. I fucking hate you sometimes.
Shaking my head, I push the thought out of my mind, not wanting this moment to be overshadowed or tarnished by a bad memory that has no place in my relationship with Jace.
He sees my reaction and misunderstands it. He strokes my cheek with a tenderness that warms my heart. I’m trying to think of what to say, but he beats me to the punch.
“I know you’re not ready. And that’s okay. But I love you, Alexa, so damn much, and I couldn’t let another day go by without telling you,” he confesses.
“Jace, I…” I start to stammer out some sort of response before he brings his fingers to my lips.
“You don’t have to say anything, babe. I told you months ago that I’d be patient, and I meant it. I can wait,” he reassures me as a smile lights up his eyes, telling me that he really does mean it.
I simply nod and he gives me a kiss before he’s back to spooning me. Within a few minutes, I hear his breathing level out, letting me know that he’s fallen asleep. His admission plays over and over in my mind, and I find myself staring at the wall until the early dawn light creeps through the window.
Jace McAllister loves me. Loves. Me. My heart’s soaring and I want to bury my face in my pillow and scream with happiness. I also want to pack my bags and run for the hills. I turn to watc
h him in his sleep, this beautiful man with an amazing heart. He really loves me. And for one split second, the thought forms in my mind. I love him, too. I know I do. There’s just something holding me back. It’s not Ty. I know that I’ve finally found peace with his death, and that may be the problem. Jace is leaving in two months. The closer we get to his deployment, the more terrified I get about something happening to him. If I admit that I love him, what will it do to me if he never comes back? I’ve already been through that once. And the love I feel for Jace? If I lose it, I know I’ll never recover.
TWO MONTHS have passed since I professed my love for Alexa. She went pale, and after I saw a rush of emotions run through her eyes, I quickly gave her an out. I’m a pretty patient guy, and at the time, I knew she loved me. She showed me with every touch, every embrace, every kiss. She was just too scared to admit it to me—and to herself.
Since then, I’ve continued to tell her that I love her. I don’t force the issue, but whenever we’re drifting off to sleep or about to hang up the phone, I can’t help but tell her. Because I do. The reunion was incredible. I never imagined that I’d go there and rekindle the connection we once had. And then the events afterwards? I couldn’t have predicted a better outcome. Slowly but surely, she’s opened up her heart to me more and more, even if she’s still trying to protect it.
Don’t get me wrong, she doesn’t turn all ice queen on me. Her face softens and her eyes light up every time she hears the words, so I know it’s affecting her. She just can’t bring herself to admit it. I don’t know if it’s Ty that makes her hesitant or if it’s my job. She never talks about him, so I don’t think that’s it. But every so often she mentions her fears of me leaving.
