by Bethany-Kris
That’s what concerned him the most. In order for their Vegas trip to work, they couldn’t afford to be put into a situation where they might draw attention. What would have happened if Karine had a meltdown that ended badly simply because he didn’t think she could handle the truth?
The last five days had gone exactly the way he’d pictured their honeymoon together—or rather, what he hoped for. He wanted to give her a taste of what a normal life with him might have felt like. What he wanted their marriage to look like when all of this was over, and he could finally give her the world.
He hoped he’d been successful.
She’d been so happy. Blissfully unaware. He gave her every breathing moment of his days for as long as he possibly could—but now it was time they faced reality.
Was it going to hurt?
Yeah.
Just a little.
Roman was so fucking sorry for that.
His main duty was to keep her safe—this place offered exactly that. Michelle had helped to find the right facility because that had really been the most troublesome part in the whole equation when they needed a mixture of things. Therapeutic help for Karine, should she want to continue down that path with another doctor. Privacy not just for her sake, but also safety. It helped that the doctor who would be working with Karine here knew Michelle, and promised to tie up paperwork and anything else she could just to extend the stay as long as they needed.
Was that what he wanted?
No.
The idea of leaving Karine here, locked behind the high, stone walls that surrounded the property was killing him. It’d been killing him ever since he got word from Michelle that everything was a go. He didn’t sleep. Couldn’t. Not that she had noticed because he made a special effort to keep it from her. Instead, he let guilt chew him alive every single fucking night that she slept peacefully beside him during their stay in Vegas.
Roman was willing to spend as much money, and use all his resources for this—to make it work. It was a treatment and rehabilitation facility with a luxury feel, yes, but it had a larger purpose for Karine’s stay.
Who would look for her here?
Who would even know?
Where was a better place to be—if the only thing she really needed was to be safe until she could be happy again—than here? As it was, her mental illness had already scared the men around her in to hiding her from the world, ashamed of what someone else might think. It was highly unlikely they would look here to find her.
The people who ran and managed the facility were trained professionals, and according to Michelle, the best in the business to manage her in his absence. He’d actually flinched when Michelle used that word—managed—like Karine wasn’t entirely her own person with her own mind.
This was the kind of oasis she could use in order to make progress with her own issues, and he couldn’t have her waiting like a sitting duck for Dima and Leonid to attack. Not in Vermont, not in New York. Not anywhere.
It worked twofold.
Well, it should.
The reality of it all actually terrified him, though. Roman wasn’t sure how long he could keep her safe from them without outside help, and this was truly his last resort. However, he didn’t for a second think she would be happy about it. Roman banked on her lashing out and refusing his plan because the same undertones of the situation that bothered him would undoubtedly hurt her.
That’s why he didn’t tell her.
What he didn’t expect was for her to view it as a betrayal.
“Roman!”
Her hiss yanked him violently from his thoughts—the only place that actually saved him from the sight of her rage leveling on him. The second that damn light bulb had gone off for her, he’d already known it was too late ...
She knew what he did.
What could he say?
“You need to tell me, right fucking now, exactly what is going on,” Karine said, every word high and strained. “Don’t lie to me—don’t feed me anymore bullshit. Don’t touch me. Just tell me what you did.”
Roman stood in front of her, squaring his shoulders so that Mel, the floor manager, wouldn’t see the full extent of Karine’s anger in that moment. He needed to be able to handle her himself—at least this one last time before he left.
She’d been right about one thing.
He did this.
No one else.
“I’ll tell you all of it, Karine, but you’ve got to stay calm. You know you’re safe,” he tried to say. “I wouldn’t do anything to fuck that up.”
Her eyes narrowed to two, dark beads. Face flushed, her hands started to shake at her sides, but she made no effort to hide it. When he reached for her she tugged away from him sharply, snarling, “Don’t you dare touch me now.”
Roman winced. “Come on, ba—”
“Don’t call me that, either.”
All that anger inside her came rushing out in a hateful hiss of words that cut him deep. To have her so close, but not be able to touch her ... comfort her, God, it stung. Bad.
That’s when Mel decided she needed to step in.
“Okay, Miss Karine, let’s take a moment to resettle and reset our feelings and conversation. Please, we are here to help you,” the woman said.
Karine turned her fiery gaze on Mel. “It’s Mrs. Avdonin. I’m not a child, and I won’t be talked to like one. Address me accordingly, thank you very much.”
Each word came out calm, and flat. Yet, the rage simmering inside Karine, twisting her pretty mouth into a bitter sneer and vibrating through the rest of her body was still so clear to him. Worrying him, really.
Katina could show, and everything would be over at that point. There was only so much the staff here could or would do for Karine’s violent alter—they’d made that unfortunately clear to him before arrival. Everybody had to be safe. Every doctor, nurse, or any other staff member on the property. Safety was a priority when it came to residents. He tried to understand, even if it was hard, when they explained procedure after procedure in case of different events.
This was not what he’d wanted—yet, what other choice did he have to keep Karine safe when time was running out, and Roman had to go back? Nothing about this was easy.
Fuck.
“My apologies, Mrs. Avdonin,” Mel was quick to say, “but this experience isn’t meant to be traumatic. We’re willing to do anything we can to help during your stay with us, truly. We strive to make this environment one you feel at home in with us.”
That didn’t make Karine happy. At all.
“Who in the hell are you, and why do you think you’re going to help me?”
“Because that’s my job.”
In an instant, Karine’s gaze snapped back to Roman, wild in a blink. She might attempt to bolt; her darting gaze taking in the windows and doors said that she was considering it. He wouldn’t let her get far—even if it broke his fucking heart, he just couldn’t let her leave now.
“You have to relax,” Roman said in a murmur, “and let me explain, all right?”
He didn’t help the situation either.
“Why am I here?” she screamed at him. “Explain that!”
Roman swallowed hard. “Babe, just—”
“Roman, why am I here?”
From the corner of his eye, he watched Mel speak into a white radio that he’d noticed was strapped to every employee’s waist. She was probably requesting someone else join her, just in case, and he didn’t blame her. Not a single person here was willing to put the entire facility at risk because of one unruly newcomer.
He also wanted to make this as least traumatic as possible for Karine, but Roman seriously doubted that was going to be the case.
Christ.
He’d fucked up.
Again.
“Karine, listen to me,” Roman told his wife who was becoming more and more agitated by the second. “This is only about keeping you safe—that’s all I wanted to do.”
But he should have kno
wn.
The label of it.
An entire facility.
His secrecy.
All of it.
Roman did know better, but fuck ... he had to do what he had to do.
He held his hands up where she could see them clearly, not willing to touch her if she didn’t want him to, but still itching to do it all the same. He wouldn’t let anyone else touch her, either.
Mel had thankfully stepped back, giving them some space, but that didn’t stop Karine’s quick, sharp gaze from slicing back and forth between the two.
“You lied to me,” she hurled at him. “You brought me here under a pretext.”
“Actually, I don’t think I did lie to you, Karine. Not technically.”
“Fine. Twist your words however you want to—you didn’t tell me the whole truth. You told me we were going to spend the day at a spa. Something adventurous.”
She practically spat that at him.
Roman didn’t even blink, or move a muscle. “This is sort of like that—for both of us. Neither of us know how to do this, babe. It is an adventure, but it’s not an easy one. You wouldn’t even let me talk about going back to New York, how in the hell was I going to tell you this? I just ... I didn’t have a choice. I had to figure out something without a whole lot of time to do it, and no matter what choice I made, we were still gonna end up apart. At least here, you can get more—”
“Fuck you.”
That burning retort didn’t blow by him quite like the rest had. In fact, it felt like a slap against his face, and all he could do was stand there and take it.
He deserved it.
Karine shook her head, lips quivering. Tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving wet tracks she didn’t even bother to wipe away, and Roman wished he could hold her. More than anything, he hated when she cried.
Why did he have to be the one to make her cry?
“I’m sorry,” he settled on saying, “but it was looking like I couldn’t take you back to New York. Not safely. This option came up, and fuck, it works. Okay? I get it, I know what it is, but it works.”
“You lied to me. You manipulated me. Again.”
“Karine—”
“How can you say you love me and then do this to me?” she cried. “Do I even get a say—what, will you pay them to stay quiet and lock me away?”
She was too loud, now.
Even he knew it.
Mel cleared her throat, a clear attempt to grab his attention, but he didn’t look away from his wife. No matter what, he wanted one thing clear.
“That’s not what this is,” he told Karine. “That’s not what it will ever be.”
Karine glared with cold eyes, clenching her palms into fists. Any moment, he expected Katina to appear. The blank flicker in her eyes and the way her stare darted away to nothing sometimes said she was there. Mad, already fighting, and causing chaos inside Karine’s fragile mind.
Still, Karine kept staring back. As fast as he had all of her attention, she took it away. The tension tightening his spine and shoulders left almost instantly, but his heart dropped when she spoke.
Because she didn’t speak to him.
“Is there somewhere I can go right now?” Karine asked Mel. “To be away from him?”
Mel, startled by the reaction, didn’t answer right away.
“Please, anywhere?”
She seemed too rational.
In control.
Even he didn’t know what to do with that.
So, he did nothing.
Roman stood back and watched her walk out of the room with the floor manager who had regained her composure, and with a tight nod, made a beeline for the exit with Karine on her heels.
Nobody said shit to him.
Whatever.
He wasn’t going anywhere.
No way in hell was he leaving this place before he told Karine everything she needed to hear from him—because that was the thing she didn’t seem to understand. There was a big difference between want and need.
Sometimes, it also meant life or death.
*
Roman sat in the corner of the entrance lounge for over an hour—waiting to hear any news on Karine.
Katina hadn’t appeared, or he sure as hell would have heard about it by now. The only information he had been afforded by the staff was that Karine headed to the meditation room by herself. They weren’t sure if she was actually meditating or not, but they didn’t want to disturb her, and she made her wishes about him clear.
She didn’t want to see him.
Not yet.
Roman was willing to wait as long as it took for Karine to be ready to speak to him again. He hoped there was a part of her that would understand why he had to do this, even if that was selfish of him.
Didn’t she realize he wanted a normal life, too? That the past five days with her had been a heaven he’d never known before now. It was only a slice of what they could be together.
If life wasn’t in the goddamn way.
That was the thing, right?
The world kept moving.
And now, leaving her here, knowing when he walked out those doors he was going back to New York to solve this mess with Dima and Leonid—it was the hardest thing he would ever do. But maybe ....
God, maybe if he did it now, then they wouldn’t ever have to do it again.
All because he was in love with her. Because nothing meant more to him now than that woman who wouldn’t even speak to him. Hadn’t what he did showed her exactly that? It was proof. He’d do anything to keep her safe, even if it meant she hated him for it, too.
She could hate him alive.
Karine couldn’t love him dead.
The only thing he was concerned about was keeping Dima away from her. So far, in fact, that she was only a figment of his imagination. If it was possible. Something he thought was real but couldn’t find a scrap of her existence. That Karine didn’t exist anymore, anyway. The little girl whom Dima had hurt and silenced, terrified and terrorized ... Karine wasn’t that person, now.
Dima was the cause for everything, Roman was sure. A catalyst, certainly. The reason Karine was who she was—and that was more than enough. He’d done enough.
Never again would that man lay a finger on her. Roman would make sure of it, but while he did, she had to stay here.
There was no other option.
He couldn’t keep her safe himself.
Finally, after the third glass of water was offered to Roman, Mel decided to make another appearance. She was smiling wide, too.
“Good news?” he asked, daring to hope.
Mel nodded. “Your wife has requested you join her in the meditation room whenever you’re ready.”
Now.
He was ready right now.
Roman jumped up from his seat, and followed her down the hallway past the swinging, heavy double doors. There wasn’t another woman in the world who could make his heart race as fast as it did at nothing more than the thought of seeing her again. No matter how many times he saw her.
It was always the same.
He entered the room alone, and Mel shut the door behind him with a tight smile and barely a glance inside the space.
The room had all white walls and navy-blue accents from the thin yoga mats on the floor to the framed art hanging from hooks by twine. Soft music played in the background, and a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows overlooked a calm, beautiful part of the property. Other than that, the room was quite bare.
Minimalist.
Karine sat cross-legged on one of the mats with her back turned to him. As he approached her, she didn’t move a muscle or say a thing, not even when he came to a stop beside her.
“Are you going to speak to me now, Karine?”
She took a breath.
And then another.
He let her have those few seconds before she peered up at him. Roman searched for Katina there, but didn’t see her staring back. This was all Karine. Stronger, even if she was
mad. Still beautiful, all the same.
Despite her aggression towards him, Roman was proud of her. Of who she was, and who she could be. Who she wanted to be—he wanted her, too.
All of her.
“Actually, it’s time for me to speak and you to listen,” she finally replied, soft-spoken and calmer than he expected.
“I’m listening,” he replied.
She breathed in deeply, squaring her lungs like she could taste the air in the room.
“I trusted you, and you used that. You lied to me. Again,” she whispered.
Roman was fast to open his mouth, ready to correct her because he had only really lied by omission and that wasn’t quite the same, considering the circumstances. Then, she held her hand up to interrupt him, and he opted to say nothing at all.
This wasn’t about him.
Even if he was frustrated.
Even if she didn’t hear him.
“Please don’t talk, Roman, I just ...” Karine looked down at her hands, neatly folded in her lap but still trembling like they had been earlier. “I really need you to listen.”
As strong as she was being, he could hear evidence of her quivering voice. She’d been crying, clearly. He knew this was difficult for her.
Karine wasn’t accustomed to putting her foot down, and expressing her feelings. Not without suffering for it, anyway. She was still learning to handle the roadblocks put in front of her without defaulting to the way she coped before—through medication and a fractured mind.
He reminded himself of that.
This wasn’t easy for her, either.
Roman was not the kind of man who clung on to hope, but he did more times than he could count when it came to Karine. He had hope for her.
“You manipulated me into coming here. You’re having me admitted to this place that I haven’t even agreed to come to,” she said, apparently deciding to just say it and get it over with. Roman stayed silent as she continued. “They’re filling out paperwork for a seventy-two-hour psychiatric hold. Do you know what that means?”
“Only at first, to get the quick admission. It was just semantics, babe, that’s all.”
