by E. S. Mercer
I would pause every so often, to soak it all in and then get as crazy and wild as they were, playing until the sun escaped us. As happy as this trip made me, I made sure to make it a daily thing. I could never get enough of the feelings I felt when I was with them, down by the water. Day after day, as Ryan would leave for work, I would find a reason to stay home and play with the kids at the lake. I would ask, every single morning if he would join us, but his sense of duty to the Order kept him from giving in to my constant begging. Then, finally, one afternoon as we stood a few feet out into the shallow part of the lake, splashing each other, I heard a warm, deep and familiar voice call out to us from the shore.
“Ryan,” I said to myself, looking over my shoulder.
“Come see Papa,” he said, crouching down to invite the twins into his arms.
“And what about me?” I asked, running behind them with as much excitement. “I feel like we haven’t spent any time together lately.”
“You too,” he chuckled, scooping them up and then leaning in to kiss me. “I know what you mean. I’ve missed you!”
“Me too!” I said, kissing him again. He put the twins down and walked over towards the blanket we had set up. “Sit with me a while, I want to see the sun set with you,” he requested, pulling me gently down to the ground and then grabbed a hold of me tightly. “Your mother said you were having a few issues with your memory lately,” he said, looking off towards the lake.
“I was just a little confused,” I replied, looking down. “I must have been confusing my dreams with reality, but I am fine now. Everything is in focus, as it should be.”
“Good,” he said, stroking my arm. “That is what I want to hear.” He kissed my cheek and then the two of us sat in silence, watching the sun slowly move through the sky. The twins, still not tired of the water, kept running in and out of the lake, splashing, giggling and glowing with happiness.
“They really are perfect, aren’t they?” I asked, sitting up straight. “I couldn’t imagine two more perfect children.”
“They are,” Ryan replied. “I’m sure you wish their fathers were here to see it.”
I shot a glance at him and debated whether to reply to his remark, but, let it go as the twins came running up to interrupt me.
“I have to go potty,” Roan announced, holding himself and doing a little jig.
Ryan stood up and chuckled. “Then find a tree and go like I taught you.”
“But what about that scary man?” Roan asked, pointing to a spot behind us. “He’s near the trees.”
“What man,” I asked whipping around. “That one,” he said again, point to one of the trees. Ryan, who was already on his feet, pulled out a gun and started running in that direction. I stood up, watching after him, when someone came up behind us and grabbed poor little Renada.
“Mommy,” she screamed, kicking her captor. I turned towards her voice, and saw Leviathan, holding my baby girl, begging me to calm down and listen. I tried not to panic as I looked back at Ryan, who was walking Constantine towards us at gun point and then back at my brother.
“I just want to talk,” Leviathan said, holding on to Renada. “If you just promise to listen, I will put her down.”
“And if I don’t, you plan on hurting her?” I asked.
“No,” he said, putting her down. “Look, I promise, I just want to talk.” He looked up at Ryan, who kept his gun on his partner. “I know you are the leader of the Annunaki and it’s your duty to hunt the leaders of the rebellion'” he said, pushing Renada towards me. “But I’m asking you to look away while I talk to my sister. “
“And why would I do that?” Ryan barked, shoving the gun into the Gypsy’s side. “Because you love her as much as I do and you don’t want her heart to be broken,” he said, waving his hand in the air. As he did, the tree line began to move as shadows began pointing guns in our direction.
“Leviathan, don’t,” I begged, choking back tears. “Please don’t do this.”
“I’m not doing this,” he whispered, coming up close. “Noita is trying to protect me.” “Noita? What does he have to do with this?” I asked, grabbing Renada from him.
“I have fought really hard to get here,” he said, ignoring me. “Father knows I wouldn’t succumb to Noita’s mind control and he has kept me from finding you.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, pulling her behind me. “Have you gone mad?”
“This isn’t real Eva,” he said, grabbing my arm. “You know this!” I looked down at Renada whose big green eyes were staring back up at me as she tugged at my sweater. “Mommy, what is he talking about?” I stared down at her, trying to answer when I couldn’t help but notice how much she looked like Gabriel.
“But, but no,” I stuttered, stroking her soft milky white face. “No, she is real!” “In time, she will be,” he said, pulling my gaze. “But not now! You are stuck in a fabricated reality, just as I am! Just as mother is!”
“But mother isn’t telling me lies,” I said, looking back at Ryan and Roan.
“Yes, she is,” he argued. “I’m telling you the truth.” He kicked the sand beneath his feet, realizing that this time I wasn’t buying it. He rubbed the back of his neck while he desperately tried to find something that would convince me.
Then, he looked up at the sky and smiled as if he had an epiphany.
“The door,” he whispered. “The door in your sitting room. Open that and you will see!” I hesitated, as I too once thought there was a door in the sitting room. “But there is no door,” I announced. I lowered my voice so Ryan couldn’t hear me. “Not anymore.”
“See,” he said, finding hope. “Things aren’t what they seem!” “Leviathan!” my mother yelled, pushing her way through the rebels in the tree line! “You either leave this instant or I will tell your Father where to find you!” She looked at Ryan, who had now lowered his gun and held my son tightly. “And you! You’re the one in charge of finding him. And yet you just stand here and let him threaten your wife and children?”
“Um, look around, he kind of has us outnumbered,” Ryan said, pointing to the trees. Seraphine looked behind her and then back to my husband. “So, you are the leader of the Annunaki, the police force of our Devine Order, all you have to do is make a call.”
“No, we will let him go,” I said, glaring at my mother. “He isn’t here to hurt us.”
“He is the reason their fathers are dead!” she argued.
I looked back at Leviathan who kept shaking his head in contradiction. “It didn’t happen,” he mouthed. “They aren’t really dead.”
“Then where are they?” I whispered.
“You have to wake up to find out,” he whispered back. “If you can’t find the door, go into the City, go to the Manor.”
“And what will I find there?” I asked.
But, before I could answer, he doubled over, holding his head and grunting in pain.
“What is happening?” I asked, jumping to help him. But instead of answering, he stood back up and grabbed Renada from me, backing into the Lake and shaking his head. “This isn’t real,” he kept saying, repeatedly as he backed into the lake further. “I will show you!” I started to panic. I wanted to believe that what he was saying was true, but I wasn’t willing to stake the life of my child on it. She felt real. Her toothy little smile and big juicy kisses felt more real to me than anything had in a long time. And Roan’s unique giggle sounded familiar and warm and right.
“No,” I yelled, running after him. “Don’t take her away from me! I already lost her father! I can’t lose her too!” My hands started to glow as I raised them up, and then slam them into the water below me, releasing Renada from Leviathan’s arms, and throwing him back a few feet. I grabbed my daughter and lifted her to safety and then smashed the water again. This time, Leviathan was launched upwards and into the sky above me. He hovered for a second and then became lifeless, plummeting into the water and slowly sinking below the surface of the lake.
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I turned to face Constantine, who had already started retreating with his men.
“Let him go,” Ryan said, waving them off. “They aren’t much without a leader.”
“But, Leviathan,” I said, calming down and realizing what I had done. “I didn’t mean to kill him.”
“You did what had to be done to save our little girl,” Ryan said, trying to comfort me. “You had no choice.”
“But I did!” I cried, grabbing Roan and pulling him close. “I could have listened to him.”
“He was crazy,” my mother interjected, hugging me. “He would have hurt Renada to get his point across.” Following their lead, I tried, as hard as I could to justify what I had done. To hold on to the fact that he threatened my baby girl and I reacted as any mother with celestial powers would. He attacked me at the heart by grabbing her and by telling me that she wasn’t real. Things may have been confusing for me, but I couldn’t accept the fact that my children were just a figment of mine or someone else’s imagination.
Yet, nothing I said or did could settle the burning idea that maybe, just possibly, he was telling the truth. In the days ahead, every time I would hug one of the twins, I would question the softness of their skin or the warmth of their breath. I would look deep into their eyes, trying to see past the yearning in them, to see if they were just merely a well-constructed mirage.
“I think it’s time for me to head into the city,” I announced one morning, finally giving into my curiosity. “I have been cooped up in the house long enough and am starting to go stir crazy.”
“Absolutely!” Ryan exclaimed, getting excited. “It will be great to have you back. I have missed seeing you in the halls of the Capitol.”
“And I hoped you would have said that, so I laid out one of your work outfits,” my mother chimed in from my bedroom door. “Thank you,” I said quietly, sipping my coffee. Unbeknownst to them, I wasn’t going into the city because I had a job to do. Leviathan had said something about going to the Manor and I really needed to just prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did the right thing.
“I’ve called the car, they will be here within the half hour,” Ryan announced. “I would drive you, but I gotta leave now for an important meeting. Apparently, Constantine didn’t get the hint and was found sneaking around the house last evening.”
He kissed my forehead and then pushed my chin up so I could look him in the eyes. “I know you’re having doubts about what happened the other day, but I want you to know, you never make mistakes. Remember who you are. Your father may be in charge, but you have the control.”
He winked at me and grabbed his briefcase. “I love you Ness.” “Ness? Who is Ness?” I asked, as he walked towards the door. “Did I say that?” he asked, just as confused as I was. “I swear I just said, ‘I love you’!” And he shut the door behind him, not worried about the fact that he had just called me by another woman’s name.
After he left, I quickly got dressed and said goodbye to the twins as I heard the car pull into the driveway. Moments later, the driver came to the door and escorted me out to a large, armored limo with strange red and black flags flying on the front hood. I grabbed ahold of one so I could see the strange logo on it.
“That is the Presidential Seal,” the driver offered, walking towards the back door. Apparently, he could see the confusion and disgust on my face. “What is that, an iron eagle?” I asked, walking after him. “It looks kinda like a Nazi symbol.”
“It is a phoenix, but yes, it does go right along with a dictatorship,” he said, without thinking. He stopped, realizing what he said and then quickly put his head down and apologized.
“Why are you apologizing?” I asked, standing with one foot in the car. “Tell me what’s really going on around here.” He looked up at me with a strange look on his face. You could tell it was a look of fear mixed with a desire to ask why I would want to know his thoughts.
“Seriously, pretend I don’t know anything and explain to me what is going on around here,” I said, stepping back out of the car.
He leaned in and lowered his voice as if someone else was listening. “Your father has created a New World Order that forces everyone to follow his rules or be cast out. In this New World Order, you are either part of his Hierarchy or sent to live outside the Capitol where you get no aid and live in squalor. Those who rebel against his new system are publically judged and executed, to remind others just how important it is to follow. The Devine Order sees everything, literally knows everything and judges everything.”
“And where do I fit in?” I asked. “You are his top advisor,” he replied, waving me into the car. He got into the driver seat and looked back at me through the rear-view mirror. “You and your husband pretty much run things for him. But you don’t seem like the person I have read about,” he continued. “There’s something in your eyes that makes me think you don’t belong here.”
“You might be right,” I said, looking out the car window. “And thank you for your candor…” I looked back at him, as if I was searching for a name. “Lucas,” he replied, turning the car on. I could tell he was biting at the bit to say more.
“Before you continue, I want to request that you take me somewhere other than the Capitol,” I requested. “I need to go to Meridian Manor.”
“Meridian Manor?” he asked, taking his eyes off the road. “But that is forbidden! It is outside the legal travel areas and any gates leading to it are heavily guarded to keep the outzoners out of the Capitol.”
“We are in the Presidential car,” I said, trying to assure him. “I’m pretty sure will let us through.”
“Maybe, but not without notifying your husband,” he responded, looking back at the road.
I rolled down the window to get a better glimpse of our journey into the city. “It’s ok. Let me deal with Ryan if that happens.” The moment we got to the edge of our long driveway, I realized that my beautiful surroundings were no more than an oasis in the middle of total destruction. On one side, the lake and the forest around here were backed up to a large mountain range that shielded us and our home from the rest of the world. On the other, a large concrete wall with guard towers and barbed wire lined either side of the road that led into the city. As we started to descend down into the city, I could see beyond those walls which were meant to shield the rest of us from the desolation of a land laid waste by the spoils of war. The driver said the walls were there to protect us from the rebels, but I believe it was to protect me from the truth.
“Lucas, what is really on the other side of this?” I asked, peering up at the twelve-foot wall.
“I hear rumors that there is nothing but a wasteland,” he replied. “But I haven’t been anywhere but here and the Capitol since the war ended.”
“And you are a believer?” I asked. “I am a survivor,” he replied. “Honestly, I have many mouths to feed and I did not want my children to suffer because someone forced us to live under their tyrannical rule.”
He pulled over towards a heavily guarded gate. “If you are not part of the Government or in Service of the Devine Order or Annunaki, you are considered service class. We live in crowded apartment buildings with small rations that are deducted from our weekly checks. We may get to live within the city walls but we still gaze upon the Capitol with as much hatred as the rebels do. We are just quiet and sacrifice ourselves and our beliefs so that our children can eat.”
He turned and looked at me. “Which makes us no better than your government, I guess. We allow this to continue while the rebels keep getting killed, trying to make a difference.”
“None of this is your fault,” I said, rolling down my window. I figured if the guards saw who was in the car, they would let us pass without a problem. The guard saw me, and didn’t ask questions, although he was quick to warn me that tensions were high outside the walls and going in was a bit dangerous. I nodded my head and assured them I was fine, allowing us to the other side with no problems at all.
&n
bsp; “Pull over to the next ally and let me out, then turn around and head home,” I told Lucas, staring out the window. “Tell them I forced you to bring me here with threats to your children.”
“Why would I do that?” he asked, glancing back. “I’m not going to just leave you here.”
“I’ll be fine, I promise,” I replied, looking up at him. “But if you seem complicit, you will be in danger. This way, you’re safe.” “And I probably would be,” he said, pulling a gun from the glove box. “But to be honest, your safety is a little more important to me right now.” He drove the car as far as he could until ruin and rubble started blocking our path to the Manor. “We will have to walk about ten blocks from here,” he said, letting me out of the car as he kept his eye on the sketchy teenagers that kept scurrying in and out of buildings, trying to scare us. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed, stepping out onto the cracked concrete. “I need to.” But, as we started our journey on foot, I couldn’t help but wish I could avoid all the pain and anguish I felt from everyone around me. Those who did dare to show their faces, glared at us with so much contempt I could hear the horrible things they thought of me. Others, peering from the torn curtains of what was left of their home, shed tears as the fear of my presence made them more sad than terrified.
“This can’t be real!” I muttered to myself, looking down at the bloodstained street. “How could I have let this happen?”
“You shouldn’t have!” Lucas cried, grabbing ahold of my arm. “Evangeline, I have been looking everywhere for you!”
“Lucas?” I asked, startled by his aggression. “What are you talking about?!”
“No,” he said, letting go. “It’s Noita.” “Noita?” I repeated, looking into his eyes, “What is going on?”
“I don’t know,” he said, pulling off the street. “You were just supposed to think this was real, not make it a reality.”
