by Harper Riley
“No. It’s not that.”
“Then what?” he snarls. “You tell me why the fuck you need to risk our club over that FB slut!”
It bursts out of me before I can stop it, “She’s pregnant, Vance! She’s pregnant, and it’s mine! For whatever fucking reason he has, Killer and Cobra are pretending like it’s not mine, but it is. The dates line up and everything.”
“What? That’s not—”
“We didn’t use anything...” I admit. “We were fucking drunk and stupid, and now that girl’s carrying my kid... and I... and I want her too.”
Vance stumbles back towards the group of chairs, finding himself sitting across from me. The space between us might as well be miles. I can barely hear him as he replies, “Shit. Are you sure?”
“I saw it. On the screen.”
He takes a deep, heavy breath before confessing, “I was a father. I guess I am a father. I don’t know what happened to the kid. I lost touch a few years back.”
“What?” I’m shocked. I’ve been Vance’s protege for years now, and I’ve never heard even a single rumor about a kid.
“Yeah. A girl—Caitlin. Her mom was this townie chick from L.A. She wanted to be an actress, so I thought she’d take care of it or at least give it up for adoption. That’s what she told me. So, I left thinking there was nothing there for me to stay for. Come to find out about three years later that she had the kid and kept it. I had someone I knew, a PI, follow her for a while, and then he lost track of her and the girl. All I’ve got are a few photos he managed to swipe from her elementary school.”
Vance fishes out his wallet—an old, wrinkled leather billfold—and pulls out a folded piece of photo paper. He stands and walks towards me, placing it on my lap. A smiling girl about seven or eight years old with a bow in her hair smiles back at me. With her almond eyes and thin, stretched smile, there’s no doubt that Vance’s her father. After a second, he takes it back and very carefully places it in the spot he hid it in.
“I’m leaving everything to the girl—when I’m gone. I can’t be her dad now. It’s too late for me to make up for all this lost time. And hell if she deserves a motherfucker like me.”
“That’s not true—” I start to say.
“Ahh. Leave it, Bear. It’s too late. I’m too old, too angry, too into this life. I’d risk hers if I brought her into it now. But you, you have another chance.”
“What?” I ask in disbelief. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve got a chance to make things right with this girl Sunday and that baby. Bring her into the fold—keep her safe. But that means you’ve gotta change too, Bear.”
“What the hell does that mean?” My voice has risen.
“It means exactly what I said. You’re angry. You’ve been angry since the day I met you in that boxing gym. You can fight the entire world, but you won’t be able to fight your way to being a good dad or partner for that girl of yours.” He peers at me, boring bullet holes through me. I can hear a pin drop as I wait for more, but he leaves it at that.
The truth is that I agree with him. I’ve had this anger in me from way back—when I was a kid and alone and neglected with no sense of home or family. I’ve been angry at just about every damn person in this world—all but Sunday. Even when she rejected me, lied to me, kept me from being with her or the baby, I was never angry at her. I wanted to kill the situation, strangle it until it was dead on the ground and nothing was in the way of us being together. For her and the baby, I need to let that hate and pain go. For her and the baby, I know I can.
“I will,” I finally reply. “I’m going to be that baby’s dad.”
“Then fight. I’ll back you up on this one. Go fight and get the girl. Bring her back to us, and she’ll be welcome.”
He holds out his hand to me, just as Killer did earlier. But there’s no hesitation in taking his. I know that Vance and the Wilderkind have been the closest thing to family I’ve ever had. Until now.
Chapter 13 - Sunday
“You dumb little bitch!” Cobra tosses me into his condo—our condo. I am barely able to catch my feet before falling hard against the couch, just missing landing directly on my swollen belly. “Do you know what the hell you just did?”
“What I did?” I ask. “I didn’t do a damn thing, Cobra! He showed up. I didn’t tell him or give him the address to my doctor’s! I have no idea how he found out about me!”
“You’re a filthy fucking liar, you know that!” He shuts the door behind him, pacing back and forth for a few seconds before spitting out, “You wanted to be caught. You wanted this to all go down. I should have known. I should have fucking known that you were some dumb slut who couldn’t keep her legs closed even when she’s a bloated whale.”
“Screw you.” I stand up taller. I’m not about to hear this. “I’ve done everything you asked. I’ve stayed out of your way, played along with this lie, protected your little secret. I even turned my head when...”
Before I can finish my sentence, I hear the creak of a metal bed frame. Instantly, I know who’s here. I turn back to Cobra. “Her. She’s the one you should be pissed at.”
“What the hell are you on about?” He laughs. “What does Kitka have to do with this?”
“Bear told me! She was the one that gave him the address. If she hadn’t, he would have never found me.”
Cobra pauses before screeching, “Kitka! Get the fuck in here.” There’s another creak in the bedframe as she slides herself off. I can hear her footsteps on the tiled floor and the sounds of her opening a drawer to get dressed. I wonder if Cobra left her mid-screwing or something. Did she really think nothing was going to happen and that he would just come back and finish her off? That is if he could even get the job done.
That thought gave me pause. Why was she here? If her endgame was not Cobra, but Killer, then why was she still hovering around him? From my count, she has met up with him at least twice a week since we came out as a couple. She hasn’t even hidden it from anyone. The boys, of course, think Cobra’s just one lucky son-of-a-bitch who has mastered getting it on the side, but Killer made it clear to Kitka to let Cobra go. What was she playing at?
She walks out of the room, his flannel shirt partially buttoned around her chest and waist. Of course, no pants. What did I expect here? I see a glimmer of a smile as she catches my eye. It’s a smug, knowing one. If she thinks I’m about to protect her...
“Did you tell that Wilderkind boy where to find Sunday at?” Cobra accosts her.
Her jaw tenses slightly, but then her face goes back to that icy glare that’s default for her. “No. I have no idea what you’re talking about. What Wilderkind boy?”
“What the hell, Kitty Kat!” I yell, still holding on to the couch. “Bear told me! He told me you gave him the address to the clinic!”
She practically grins as she repeats, “I have no idea what you’re talking about... Cobra?”
“What do you have to say for your sorry self now, Sunday?” Cobra storms. “You think this is some fucking game to play with people? I sensed the moment you walked through the door that you were going to be more trouble than it’s worth.”
“She’s the one.” I point my finger square at Kitka’s cruel face. “The one that did this to you. If you want to blame someone, blame her.”
“Stop LYING!” he roars as he takes one giant step towards me. I should cower. I know I should cower, but I can’t force myself to be scared of him. Something about seeing Bear get the crap kicked out of him today and then have his entire life challenged makes me feel as if I could do the same—be fearless in the face of anything.
Cobra’s mere inches away. His body towers over me as his hips begin to press into my stomach. I have to lean slightly over the side of the couch to avoid his head touching mine.
“You need to get one fucking thing straight, Sunday. I don’t care why Killer is protecting you, but I will make sure you follow my commands from now on. You’re not going anywhere. You hear me?
You’re under my watch from now on.”
The thought of being locked away in Cobra’s lair of a home against my will sends shivers down my back. Every night that I lay low here is like torture. I’ve spent most nights in bed listening to the other wall, waiting for him to have one wrong night or drink too many drinks and pull something on me. Now I’m only becoming more and more vulnerable. Who knows what Cobra is capable of behind closed doors, without the protection of Bear or Killer to hold him back.
“I’m not —I won’t.” My words stumble, tripping over themselves in fear and anger. “I’m not going to do this anymore... I’m going to go back to my place. You can’t stop me.”
“What did you say?” he asks under his breath, his head cocking to the side.
“You. Can’t. Stop. Me.” I enunciate every single syllable of those words. I want Cobra to make no mistake that I meant it. I’m not playing here. I am done with him and this charade. “This deal between us—it’s off. I’ll keep your secret, but there’s no way in fucking hell that I’m going to pretend that you—”
A hand rips across my face. White-hot and searing. I hear a tiny ringing in my ear. I hold tight to the spot where he struck me, the pressure of my hand cool against it. My mind goes blank, and my breathing stops. I check myself for blood, but he didn’t do any damage more than that slap. I turn back to him, ready for number two. This time, my hands reach around my stomach. If he’s low enough to hit a woman, a defenseless woman who stands up to him, I can’t imagine what he would do to the life inside of me.
“Stop it!” Kitka appears in between us, pushing herself against Cobra. The hem of the flannel shirt she’s wearing flies in my face, but I can see her with her arms outstretched. He doesn’t have time to stop himself before she drops to the floor. He backs away as quickly as he had hit her, cursing at himself for his mistake.
“Kitka? Are you okay?” I kneel beside her as she holds her swelling cheek. She took a hit way worse than mine. No doubt that would have knocked a girl like me out. But she manages to make it through with a bloody lip. “Come on...” I offer her my shoulder.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Cobra asks, his voice shaking. No doubt he’s realizing what a huge ass mistake he’s made. “I’m not through with you—or you, Kitty!”
Neither of us says a word. We pass him by, huddled together in one another’s arms. I didn’t think Kitka and I would ever connect like this, but necessity and danger have brought us together in some strange ways. I oddly feel good to have her long, lean arms draped around me, and me holding her tight as we head towards my bedroom. I use my foot to kick close the bedroom door and turn the small lock. It’s not much. It’s not going to keep us safe if he wants to come for more, but there’s comfort in hearing that little click.
Kitka falls onto the bed, holding her head with one hand. I sit next to her. My voice is hoarse as I try to squeak out, “Thanks for that. You didn’t have—”
“Do you ever shut up?” She sighs. Under her hand, a few tears stream down her skin, towards her hair and ears.
“You didn’t have to,” I finish, “and I’m so sorry he did that to you. Has he...?” It isn’t uncommon for girls like us to get roughed up here and there. Killer had a rule against it, but some of the chicks, at least the ones that didn’t stay for long, aren’t brave enough to rat out a guy when he smacked her around, or worse. It’s only when things like this happen, when there are witnesses, that boys like Cobra get reported.
“Does it matter?” she asks me, still averting her eyes. “We need to get the fuck out of here.”
“Yeah, but Cobra’s not going to leave, is he?”
“There’s an event tonight—some race down at the stockyards. He’s not gonna miss that. I know it. We can make a run for it then.”
“But where the hell are we going to go?”
“Killer’s. We can lay low there. I’ve got a key,” she whispers.
“You’ve got a key? How did you—”
“Seriously. You ask too many questions. That is what’s wrong with you. I’m giving you a lifeline—trying to save that kid’s life.”
“I know. I know.” I shake my head. “I’m sorry. You can’t blame me for not trusting you. You did tell Bear where I was.”
“After someone spotted you. I figured the damage was already done.”
“Yeah, but it started all this shit. Bear wouldn’t have—”
“Really?” She scoffs. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t want him there. I could see it in your eyes. This whole last six or seven or whatever months—it’s been all about Bear. I was doing you a goddamn favor.”
“You were getting me killed.”
“You wanted it!” she exclaims as quietly as she can. “You want him! So here’s your chance.”
“Not if Cobra kills him. He challenged him to a knife fight, Kitka. If Bear wins, I get to walk off with him, but then I betray the club—my family. And if Bear loses, who the fuck knows what’s going to happen to me. Cobra won’t play along anymore. I’ll be banished with no protection.”
“Then you best hope he doesn’t lose.”
“Cobra’s a loose cannon. He could—”
“I’ve seen Bear fight, Sunday. I’ve seen him fight for you. He may lose, but he won’t go down without a good fight. And if he survives, he won’t stop coming for you.”
“So, then what? That’s even worse. I’ll be banished, club property, and have Bear on the hunt again.”
“You go with him,” she replies quickly. “No matter the outcome, you go to him.”
“That’s... that’s not going to happen.”
“Stop it!” She holds her face in pain. “This is your out—your chance to get everything you want. Stop thinking about the club or being someone’s property. We’re no man’s property! We may wear the brand and ride with these boys, but when they treat us like this, they get all the hell we can unleash on them. If you think Bear is going to be your man and keep you safe from this shit, you don’t miss out on that. You don’t back down.”
My heart races as I listen to her. She’s right. Bear is worth it. He’s worth running away with and never looking back. The fight is in three days, and there’s time for so much to happen. I look towards Kitka, her face full of pain and regret, and all I can think to ask is, “What about you? What happens to you?”
“Me? I’m like a goddamn cockroach. I’ll survive this shit like I always do. There’s a reason I’ve got Killer’s key—he gave it to me. Cobra knows too. It makes his blood boil that after all these fucking years, Killer’s looking my way. Probably because you’re knocked up and untouchable, but I don’t care. I’m going to get what’s mine and be the fucking queen around here.”
“Are you sure you want that?” I ask.
“It’s everything I’ve wanted and more.”
“What about Cobra?” I say as I look towards the locked door. Outside, we can hear him throwing shit, probably a lamp or some other furniture not nailed down to the floor. His rage should be terrifying me, but with Kitka in the room, I feel safe. We’re together, and we’ve got a plan cooking.
“He’ll get what’s coming to him.” She smiles, her face wincing from the spot where he hit her. “It’s going to come sooner than he thinks. And I’m going to be in the first row for it.”
I lay down next to her as we hash out the details of our escape.
Chapter 14 - Bear
I’ve been waiting three days for this fight. So that means that for three days, I haven’t slept, haven’t eaten, haven’t thought of anything else. My mind has been one hundred percent focused on the fight—and on Sunday. I could hear her screaming at me to call it off with every practice swipe I took and tasted her lips on mine whenever I wiped off a bit of sweat that dripped from my forehead. She followed me around the ring the boys set up in the warehouse and stayed with me as I slept next to the blade I planned on using during the battle against Cobra.
I’ve killed myself over these last th
ree days, training as hard as I possibly can. I made myself the old Bear, the Bear that earned his name. It was a short transformation, but my boys could feel it. They look at me differently now. And they sure as shit don’t treat me like a second-class citizen. I have my power back, and no one on God’s green Earth is going to take it back from me.
Frankly, I am surprised how much my club is behind me on this. Jack had spread the news about Sunday’s pregnancy around like the plague. It was all any of the guys were talking about for days. I wasn’t sure how they’d take it, but they seemed to want to stand by me and follow Vance’s supportive lead on this. Some of the boys offered to get in the ring with me and be my sparring partner. Others brought me food to tie me over and protein bars to keep me strong. Some of the older guys brought beer and cigarettes—none which I took. I wasn’t about to let my vices get in the way of my mind or my body being in top shape.
They were the reason why these three days went by quickly. The ticking of the clock seemed much lighter in my ears with them watching me, giving me pointers, shaking my hand every time they passed me on my runs around the block. The Wilderkind are my family, my brothers for life. And I know that when I get out there, out on that cheap ass platform they made into a fighting ring, down by the overpass where the Wilderkind and Filth and Butcher’ territory meets, they will have my back every second of the way. And if I lose, they will be the ones burying me in the yard with all my other brothers who’ve fallen in the name of the club.
“You feeling good, brother?” Jack asks me, throwing me a towel from across the room. I must look like a fucking sweaty mess after that three-mile run, but I remember my coach from my boxing days telling me that getting miles in before a big match was the only way you could get the real nerves out. He was a lying sack of shit. Nothing but me sweating off the few bites of food I could stomach has happened to me. If anything, I feel worse—like my insides are about to explode from the pressure I’ve put on myself.
