“Is that why you have two guitars?” Ethan leaned to the side to get a better look at the cases, recognizing the brands. Fender. Martin. Signs of a serious musician.
“Yeah.” He hung up his coat in the closet. “Maybe we can jam later. I have an app that turns my phone into an amp.”
An icy blast of fear paralyzed him. It was one thing to not be able to play when he was alone, but to freeze up in front of Becca’s friends was an entirely different matter. He wasn’t ready to make a fool of himself just yet. “Maybe,” he said in a tight voice.
He was saved by Levi shouting, “Becca’s bringing out the brisket.”
The party guests gathered around the dining room table, where Becca carved up the medium rare slab of beef into thin slices. The outside was covered by a blackened glaze, and a small bowl held what looked like a dark barbecue sauce. Ari added a salad made with baby greens, pomegranate seeds, and apples. The other women poured out of the kitchen with the rest of the sides such as mashed sweet potatoes, candied carrots, round loaves of challah, and green peas. Once everything was set, they loaded up their plates.
As Ethan tasted the dishes, he noted the sweetness of each one and inwardly grinned. Becca’s sweet tooth would be in heaven tonight. Even the salad was tossed in a honey vinaigrette.
After she’d filled her plate, Becca gestured for him to meet her at the dining bar that looked into the kitchen. “Like it so far?”
“Best food I’ve eaten since I came into town.” And he meant that. The takeout he’d been living on was sawdust compared to a home-cooked meal. Once again, her generosity had humbled him. “Thank you for inviting me.”
“I told you my friends were cool.” She gave him a wink and popped a sliced carrot into her mouth. “By the way, I hope you don’t mind me telling David you’re a musician.”
“No, not really.” He was more upset about being introduced as a friend, despite his head telling him “friend” was good enough considering how long they’d known each other.
“I figured since he was a musician, too, he might be able to help you find the music again.”
“Doubt it.” But her suggestion hovered around him like a swarm of gnats for the rest of the meal, never giving him a moment’s peace until he was forced to get up and go out on the balcony to clear his head.
The crisp autumn air cooled his frustration. The setting sun bathed Central Park and the rest of the city in an orange glow. From this height, everything appeared calm and serene, and his soul followed suit. The balcony was more of a large patio that ran the length of the apartment, wide enough to allow two lounge chairs and a bistro set. It would be perfect for summer barbecues, but right now, the openness contrasted with the crowded confines inside. Here, he could see the sky and collect himself.
He didn’t bother turning around when he heard the door open behind him. Becca was the only one who’d dare come out there to join him.
But it was a male voice that said, “Care to have that jam session now?”
Ethan turned around to find David sliding two chairs together next to a pair of acoustic guitars. “What about the rest of the party?”
“It’s too loud in there. Besides, if we start playing, they’ll join us.” He opened one of the cases. “Do you prefer the Martin or the Taylor?”
“Doesn’t matter.” He doubted his fingers would remember the chords.
“You can use Ari’s.” David handed him the practically new Taylor and opened the hard case of the Martin. “Or, if you prefer, I can give up my Martin for a bit.”
“It’s really not necessary.” He tried to hand the guitar back, but David refused to take it. “I haven’t been much in the mood for playing lately anyway.”
“That’s a pity. Music always soothes me.” He strummed the strings and closed his eyes.
Ethan recognized the beginning chords of the Beatles song. His fingers wrapped around the neck of the guitar in his hand, moving in time to the transitions, but it took a gulp of courage to run the pick over the strings and join in. David’s clear baritone filled the night with a sharpness that cut away the guilt and doubt imprisoning Ethan’s soul. The chains binding his music broke, leaving behind the weightless joy he remembered from his youth.
By the time David got to the chorus, Ethan joined in. The resulting harmony surprised him. He’d been the lead singer for so long, he’d forgotten what it was like to play backup, and yet the hard edge of his voice mingled perfectly with David’s classically trained one. The unadorned quality reminded him he still had a decent voice, and the impromptu jam session was miles away from the glare of the center stage spotlight. Maybe he could make music without Ty, without drugs, without the complex sound engineering provided by the studio.
Becca’s friend gave him an encouraging smile before launching into the next verse. When the chorus rolled around again, his confidence grew, and he carried over the harmony from his voice to his guitar. The challenge was fun and refreshing, and the corners of his mouth started to rise.
He’d rediscovered his love for music.
“You sure you won’t consider converting?” David said as they finished. “I’d love to have you in the Temple band.”
“Thanks, but I just got out of a band, and I’m taking a little time off for me.” He strummed the strings once and resisted the urge to hug the borrowed guitar. “You up for another?”
“Absolutely. You pick.”
Ethan searched his mind for a song that wasn’t a Ravinia’s Rejects tune and went with another classic Extreme song perfect for two voices and acoustic guitars. He set his pick aside and used his fingers to form the opening chords.
“Good one.” David played along, but when it came time for the words, he nodded and said, “This one’s all yours.”
It’s just Becca’s friend on a balcony, not a crowded stadium. You can do this.
The first few notes warbled with a gravelly tone, a result of weeks of inactivity, but he recovered by the second line and lost himself in the music. It wasn’t until they reached the end that he realized they’d gathered an audience.
Heat rose up his neck to the tips of his ears. All this time, he’d been trying to lay low, and now he might have lost his anonymity by opening his mouth. He searched the crowd who’d gathered around, looking to see if any of them recognized him. But the second he saw Becca’s beaming face, all thoughts about protecting his privacy vanished. She seemed so proud of him, he didn’t care what the others thought. Only her opinion mattered.
“That was awesome,” the guy who’d made the loud entrance said, holding up a lighter. “Keep it comin’, bros.”
“Can we move it inside?” Morgan asked as she rubbed her bare arms. “It’s a little chilly out here.”
“No problem.” David rose, carrying his guitar, but Ethan remained in his seat.
Less than twenty-four hours ago, he’d been ready to relapse, to surrender to heroin just so he could find the solace it gave him. But all this time, the music was right there for him to grasp. He just had to shed the trappings he’d secured around it and recover the essential core.
I can really do this. I can still play and stay clean.
Now the challenge would be to create new music without relying on his former muse.
“Are you coming, Ethan?” Becca asked softly.
He turned to find her standing beside him with her hand held out.
He took it and stood up, finding the strength to keep moving forward because of her support. “Yeah, I am.”
She leaned in and whispered, “I’m glad you found the music again.”
If he didn’t have an audience on the other side of the glass doors, he would’ve pulled her into a kiss right then. Instead, he settled for tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “Me, too.”
Once inside, he and David took turns playing classic rock songs for the group and entertaining a few of their requests. It was fun until Ari called out one of his band’s songs. Ethan drew in a deep breath and he
ld it. If he catered to the request, he once again risked blowing his cover.
“I don’t know that one very well,” David said. “Do you know it, Ethan?”
He nodded, not trusting his own voice. He searched for Becca, but couldn’t find her. Fear wormed along his gut.
I have to do this alone.
But as his gaze swept the room and he saw David’s encouraging nod, it dawned on him that he wasn’t alone. He strummed the opening chords from memory. The acoustic guitar was softer, slower than the electric guitar he was used to playing for that song, but it allowed him to do the same with the lyrics. A rasp of emotion filled his voice as he sang the opening verse of the song. It was the first Ravinia’s Rejects song he’d sung since Ty had died, and the solemn quality it took on with the acoustic guitars fit his mood. It was a eulogy of sorts, a way for him to say good-bye to the past.
David joined in, but the sound wasn’t the same as when Ty had played harmony. It was different, but in a good way. As the song drew to a close, his fingers itched to play new music, to twist and shape the chords into an expression of conflict raging inside him.
“Whoa,” Ari said, her eyes wide. “That was even better than the original.”
It had better be, considering I was the one who wrote it.
“Thanks,” he mumbled and rose from his chair. He needed to find Becca. “Time for a little break.”
“Same here.” David set his guitar aside and pulled Morgan into his arms.
The loud techno music from earlier blasted through the speakers just as Becca appeared from behind a closed door with a stack of paper. She beckoned him over, and he came, still clutching her roommate’s guitar.
“I heard the new arrangement, and it got me to thinking. Maybe you should make some notes.” She held out a stack of blank sheet music. “I printed these off for you, but if you need more…”
The woman could read him better than he did himself. He took the stack and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. “Do you have a quiet place I could hang out in?”
“You can use my bedroom.” She opened the door she’d just come out of.
“Thanks.” He held her gaze for a moment to make sure she knew the full extent of his gratitude. She’d helped him overcome a major hurdle to his recovery, and he finally felt like he was moving forward.
Her eyes sparkled with excitement. “You’re welcome.”
Becca’s room was simple and serene, much like her. The blue colors and clean lines quieted his anxiety and sharpened his focus. He sat down on the edge of the bed with Ari’s guitar and jotted down the notes for the new arrangement. His pen halted when he read the line she’d written at the top of each page.
Words and music by Ethan Kelly.
It confirmed that she knew who he was, and yet she treated him as she did the rest of her friends. She didn’t kiss his ass or handle him with kid gloves. He was just another person to her, and that made him trust her all the more with his secrets.
He finished his notes and pulled out a blank sheet. It was time to create something new.
Chapter Eight
The party had taken a drunken turn for the worse by the time Ethan emerged from Becca’s bedroom. Slurred words battled over the pulsating music, and arms and legs flopped around in staggering dance moves.
Ethan made his way around the edge of the living room, looking for Becca and bumping into her roommate instead. She looked up at him with glazed brown eyes and made no effort to untangle herself from him. “You have a sexy voice,” she drawled.
“Where’s Becca?” His words were sharp and forceful, a direct contrast to her languid, liquor-laden one. There was only one woman he wanted pressed up against him, and it wasn’t the petite blonde.
She backed off with a slight pout. “Out on the balcony.”
As before, the wide balcony offered a respite from the chaos inside. He scanned the dimly lit area, starting with the chairs and finally finding her leaning against the wall in a far corner. “Hey,” he said as he came toward her, giving her plenty of time to say she wanted to be alone if needed.
“Hey,” she replied. “How did it go?”
“Good.” He stopped in front of her and braced his elbow against the warm bricks. “Really good, actually. I wrote a new song.”
“Care to sing a few bars for me?”
A self-deprecating laugh broke free from his chest. “Still working on the lyrics.”
“They’ll come to you.” She sighed and looked up at the sky. “Sorry for hiding out on you, but I needed to get away from that environment before I did something I’d regret.”
He leaned in closer, inhaling her perfume. His dick stiffened, and all thoughts of music vanished. “Meaning?”
“I don’t drink because it’s too risky for me. But the rest of them….” She shrugged as though the way the party had eroded explained itself.
“So that was the mistake you were worried about making?” He came close enough to hear her breath catch.
She looked up at him, her eyes darkening with desire. She licked her lips. “Among other things.”
He kept closing in, waiting to see if she would push him away. The next thing he knew, his lips were brushing against hers in a hesitant, feather-light kiss. Warmth flooded his insides from the point of contact, and yet fear tempered his desire. He pulled back a few inches to gauge her reaction.
Her eyes were closed, but a blissful smile gave him permission to continue.
This time, he made his kiss more forceful, more demanding. He wanted to push the boundaries of their relationship and see how far she was comfortable going. She yielded to him and parted her lips. He greedily explored the sweetness of her mouth while his fingers still dug into the grout between the bricks. She tasted so good that if he dared to take her into his arms, he wouldn’t be satisfied until he had her in bed.
The slow, sensual kiss seemed go on forever. He never imagined he’d enjoy the simple pleasure of kissing a woman like this, but kissing Becca was far better than the years of hazy hookups he’d experienced. He zeroed in on all her subtle responses, acutely aware of how she responded to him. Her breath quickened, and she reached to touch him. First, it was his chest. Then, his shoulders. Finally, her hands wound around his neck while she deepened the kiss. The last traces of his uncertainty melted. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, and he allowed himself to thread his fingers through her silky hair.
“Becca,” Ari called from the door.
Ethan tore his lips from hers and jumped back. As much as he wanted to continue, he didn’t want the intimate moment to become a spectacle.
“What?” Becca replied, making no attempt to hide the exasperation in her voice.
“We’re going to Cielo. Want to come with us?”
Becca looked up at him, her pupils wide and her chest still rising and falling rapidly. “I think I’ll stay in tonight.”
“I thought you’d say that.”
She grinned and turned toward her roommate. “Be safe.”
“You, too.” Ari gave him a hard glare before shutting the door.
He waited for her to say anything, but when the silence crept on, he said, “I don’t think she likes me.”
“She’s just being the overprotective best friend. If she knew who you were, she’d act differently.”
“Meaning?” He waited for her to say what he already knew.
Her cheeks flushed, and she looked away. “I think Ari’s an even bigger Ravinia’s Rejects fan than I am.”
“And you didn’t tell her.”
Becca shook her head. “To be honest, it took me a week or two to figure it out myself. But if you’re willing to go to such extreme measures to hide who you are, the least I can do is keep my mouth shut.”
He ran his thumb over her bottom lip. “Such a tempting mouth, too.”
Even the dim light couldn’t conceal the blush that bloomed in her cheeks. “A simple thank-you would be fine.”
His shoulder blades drew toge
ther, and he added some distance between them. “Are you telling me I went too far?”
“No, I—” She grabbed his shirt in her fists and pulled him back into another kiss. This time, she called the shots, controlling the tempo like a maestro conducting an orchestra. It started out with a smooth, slow adagio pace and grew into a lively allegro.
Her passion infiltrated him and tore down the restraints holding his desire in check. He pressed her against the wall, one hand still tangled in her hair while the other cupped the curve of her ass. Every seductive kiss, every flick of her tongue, every delicious moan that rose from her throat made his cock harder. His hips rocked back in forth in the grinding dance he wanted to replicate under the covers.
He wanted her so damned badly.
But he wasn’t prepared to respond when she ended the kiss and asked, “Do you want to take this to my bedroom?”
***
Holy shit! What just came out of my mouth?
Becca hadn’t intended to proposition Ethan tonight, but each kiss continued to whittle away at her common sense until she was so horny, the question slipped out before she had a chance to catch herself.
He stiffened and retreated a few inches, his brows drawing closer together. “Becca, I…”
Her heart sank as he squeezed his eyes shut and took a step back.
Pride kicked in, and she fumbled for words to hide her embarrassment. “Sorry, I just—”
He silenced her by tilting her chin up so she was forced to look him directly in the eyes. “Don’t be.”
“No, I crossed the line, and I’ve obviously made you uncomfortable and—damn it!” She dug her fingers into her palms and turned toward the door. She shouldn’t have asked him. It was still too early in the recovery process for him to jump into a sexual relationship. And yet he’d made such huge strides today, she’d almost forgotten where he’d been that morning. “I knew I’d fuck this up somehow.”
Ethan caught her wrist and spun her back against him. “Do I look like I’m uncomfortable?”
A rock-hard ridge strained against his zipper and pressed against her lower stomach. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
A Seductive Melody (The Kelly Brothers Book 5) Page 8
