by ERIN BEDFORD
“Hey now, I wouldn’t say that! And shouldn’t you be treating me with reverence and fear? I am royalty, you know.” I lifted my chin and gave my best regal expression.
“Bah!” He snorted. “Bein’ royalty ain’t got nothin’ to do with who ye are.”
“And who exactly am I?”
“Lady, ‘course.” He shook his head, the red cap swishing back and forth. “Just cause ye be havin’ the soul of the Seelie Princess, don’t mean ye’re her.”
Finally! Someone got it. I could kiss Mop with how happy his words made me, but I wouldn’t because that would be weird, and I was limited to how many people were on my side right now.
“Besides,” he continued. “I doubt ye have much power considerin’ ye be human and all.”
“Not true! See all this.” I gestured to the mess in the kitchen. “All me, buddy.”
“My point exactly. Ye might be havin’ the abilities of the princess but ye ain’t knowin’ how to use ‘em. ” He cringed as he seemed to take in the disaster that was my kitchen for the first time. “Or how to be controlin’ em. Ye no better off than one of thems younglins.”
“Well, then, why don’t you teach me?” I was getting tired of being called a child. I was a grown ass woman. Take my breasts for instance. You didn’t see fabulous knockers like these on a ten-year-old!
“I’ve told ye before. I be a lower Fae. I wouldn’t be knowin’ the first thing ‘bout ye powers.”
“So what? Don’t you have any powers? I don’t remember there being that much of a difference between the lower Fae and the higher Fae. Not that my mother dared to let her precious baby girl be exposed to them.” I let the bitterness toward the Seelie Queen fill my voice.
It was a wonder I ever made friends at all with how locked down I had been. Not only was I restricted to the palace, but I was only allowed in certain areas. More often than not you would have found me in the gardens. The library and the dining room were the only other rooms I was allowed in, besides my own quarters. I was surprised any of the Fae knew me at all since the Court room was strictly forbidden.
Once I had asked why I wasn’t allowed in Court and my mother had returned my question with a condescending laugh. “The Underground is a cruel world, darling. You have to know how to play the game to survive.”
She’d gazed down at me as if there was something in me lacking, and for all I knew, there probably was. Not that I would want whatever she deemed worthy of going to Court. Bunch of self-absorbed vultures.
“Now hold ye horses.” Mop’s irritated growl pulled me from my thoughts. “I didn’t say I not be havin’ any powers. Just not the kind ye be havin’.” He held his hands up in defense.
“Then what are they? And what about Trip? What are his powers?” Trip was the white opalaught that started this whole mess when I had mistaken him for a rabbit. As far as I could tell, his only ability was being able to chew through any garden wire that I threw at him.
“Ye humans, always with the questions. Unfortunately, bein’ part Fae hasn’t changed that rude habit.” Mop glared at me. “Since ye apparently don’t remember, askin’ someone’s powers be like askin’ their true name. It be rude, and fights have started over less.”
I had the decency to look ashamed. I did remember the rules, but the human half of me didn’t have a filter or care as much about them. Though, my diarrhea of a mouth didn’t always listen to me.
“Well, if you won’t answer that, how about where is Trip?” I searched the room for my white-eared friend as if he was hiding somewhere nearby. “Isn’t he usually with you?”
“I be imagin’ he be with Hare.” His voice sounded less offended now and more distracted. “Hatter be actin’ strange the last few days.”
I’d never actually talked to Hatter. I’d only seen him once at the Mourning party. The party the Seelie Fae threw in honor of—well, me. As parties went, I wasn’t impressed anymore now than I had been then. From what I had seen of Hatter, he hadn’t seemed to like being there either. I wouldn’t know one way or another if he were acting strangely or not.
“What is considered strange for Hatter? He looked kind of pissed off last time we saw him.” The serious expression on the tall silver-haired Hatter flashed through my mind.
Mop barked out a laugh. “I’d imagine he would be surrounded by all thems Seelie. He might look like them, but he ain’t got the patience for their high and mighty outlooks toward the rest of the Fae residence.”
“But he’s high Fae, too, isn’t he?” From what I knew, most high Fae seemed more humanoid and less like animals, unlike the lower Fae. Not that I’d met many. In fact, I was beginning to think I didn’t know a whole lot about my own world.
“Hatter be High Fae, just like ye are, but unlike them, he prefers the company of the Lower Fae. If ye could call that party of lunatics Fae.” He snorted.
Having witnessed their crazed antics, I couldn’t exactly argue.
“So, how is he different now?” I tried to change the subject back.
Mop took his hat off his head and wrung it between his hands. For the first time since Dorian left, Mop looked worried.
“Could be many things,” he muttered to himself as if forgetting I was even there.
“Like?” I pressed, taking a step closer to him.
“Well.” He turned his hat around in his hands, staring down at it with such intensity it was making me worry. “There be all thems disappearances as of late, and then there be the rumors.”
“Disappearances? Rumors? What do you mean? What’s happened?” I had a sinking feeling that I knew what he was going to say.
“First, there be Twinkle,” he murmured with his eyes downcast. “Then Door Mouse up and disappeared. No note, no nothin’ and ye know it had to be thems Shadows, but no one be certain since no one be seein’ nothin’. It can only mean…”
“What? What does it mean?” I urged him to continue.
He leaned in close to me, lowering his voice so I had to strain to hear him. “Thems Shadows be taken corporeal form.”
I swallowed hard, trying to act surprised. “And that’s bad?”
Mop jumped up from his seat, waving his arms around in the air. “’Course that be bad! Separately, they be just an annoyance. Only a threat to those who don’t be knowin’ the rules. But together?” He visibly shuddered. “Ye don’t want to be knowin’ the havoc they could ensue.”
Oh, I was sure I could imagine it since I was there when it happened. I remembered what it was like to be at the mercy of the horde of lost Fae. The thought of their touch on my skin still gave me the urge to take a scalding hot shower. I knew for a fact that they had a body now, one attractive, Fae male body to be exact. He made my skin crawl even more so than the formless blob did.
“And ye know Alice had to be responsible for it.” The brownie spat her name out like a plague to the Fae world. Which, in a way, she was.
The Alice I had read about in human fairy tales wasn’t as innocent as Lewis Carroll would have us believe. One thing he did get right was she was a tiresome little snot. She was as manipulative as any Fae, and since that was exactly what she had wished to be when she got involved with Dorian and my affairs, I guessed it was only fitting.
“Why do you think Alice had anything to do with it?” She kind of had a part in it, but since I wasn’t about to tell him I was the one who helped the Shadows take their solid form, it was best to play along.
He gave me a look of exasperation as if I should have been able to guess what was inside his head. “Don’t ye find it being a bit funny that when ye let her loose, the Shadows be gaining their form?”
“But I don’t see how that matters? I thought no one even knew why Alice was in the Hall of Mirrors?” I tried to redirect the topic from the Shadows. I didn’t know how much longer I could evade Mop’s questions without outright lying. I didn’t know how well his sense of smell was but if it was anything like Chess’ the changes in m
y scent from my lie wouldn’t be hidden for long.
“That be before ye be turnin’ all royalty and such. Now that ye be alive, and Alice be free, anybody who knew anything be flappin’ their jaws on what they know.” He crossed his arms over his chest as if he were completely disgusted with the whole affair.
Faes don’t make mistakes, my ass. Dorian and my mother thought they had erased all traces of what happened to Alice and me after I, well, went away. I didn’t really like to think about the fact that I had actually tried to off myself. Or the other me did. The human me was riding the denial train with no visible stops in sight.
“The problem be,” Mop continued. “How did she do it?”
“Do what?”
“Be makin’ them come together as one. It would be takin’ a lot of magic to make them into one form, let alone gettin’ them to agree to bein’ one form. I didn’t think that child be havin’ what it takes to get them agreein’ let alone the magical oomph it be takin’ to do that kinda spell.” He gave a small shudder. “Death magic be a nasty business. Nobody be wantin’ to get involved with that kind of bad mojo. Even the Fae that do, be tryin’ to blame it on others so the reaper don’ be lookin’ for them.”
Fan-fucking-tastic.
Mop was right. Death magic was a big no-no, and most Fae wouldn’t even touch it. But there were some, the kind of Fae who had no qualms about using forbidden magics, and they always came with a price. Usually, that price was your life in return.
I could only hope I wasn’t the one who was going to have to pay that price, since technically I had given the Shadows permission to use the magics. Just because I didn’t do the spell, didn’t mean I wasn’t to blame.
“What be yer problem? Ye lookin’ kind of sick.”
My face must have shown my horror of the situation I had gotten myself in. Well, more like my human side had gotten myself in. If I’d had half the knowledge I did now about the Fae realm, I could have avoided so many problems that I found were creeping up on me. My insides twisted around in knots.
“I’m fine.”
“No, ye ain’t. Ye should sit down, yer not lookin’ too good.” Mop jumped up from his seat, holding a hand out to me.
“I’m fine, really.” I tried to wave him off even as a spout of dizziness made me sway on my feet.
There was no use crying over what was and what could have been. It was the here and now that had me worried. What was going to happen to me? I didn’t make a blood oath to the Shadows, not that I was sure it would have held, anyway. So I probably had a bit of time before I had to pay the debt. Hopefully, it was enough time to figure out how to get rid of the creepy smiling Shadow man. I had no ambitions to be the Queen of the entire Fae Realm, let alone the Queen of the Shadow Realm.
Hell, I didn’t even know if I wanted to be the Seelie Princess. They couldn’t expect me to come crawling back so soon. I still had to get my own head sorted before I could rule anything, and I didn’t even want to get started on my love life. Who the hell knew what was going on there? I knew I didn’t.
I needed a vacation from my life, both of them. Where could I go where no one else would find me? Apparently, my mind had finally caught up with the shit storm that was my life and decided the floor looked like a lovely place to rest.
Chapter 4
Glamoured Pain
AFTER MY EMBARRASSING fainting spell, I convinced Mop that the only thing I needed was to go to work. The quiet solace of the library was exactly where I needed to be. Here I could pretend I was just a normal girl trying to act like her boss wasn’t a stone cold bitch and shelving books wasn’t a tedious and suicide-inducing experience. But at least it was quiet.
Shoving the last book onto the shelf, I pushed my little cart around to the next aisle. Out of all the things I expected to be doing as a librarian, I actually thought shelving books would have been the most fun. Like I would discover a new adventure that I would have never learned had I not been trying to find the book that lived on that shelf. Instead, I found my hands felt grimy from some of the less cared for books, and my boss, Brandi, was constantly breathing down my neck.
She’d come to check on me at least five times since I had started shelving the latest intakes, and I was beginning to think she didn’t trust me not to mess it up. Though, I had just feigned sick so I wouldn’t have to come in after I got back from the Underground.
Could anyone blame a girl for not being up to facing the world with everything that had happened? I wouldn’t.
Not that Brandi knew that. She took one look at my pale blonde hair and my vibrant blue eyes and pursed her lips like she wanted to blow her top off. But she hadn’t said a word.
It was already two o’clock, and the most she had done was check up on me. Constantly. Of course, this made shelving all the more tedious.
When I picked the next book off my cart, I had a wild idea. I glanced around the aisle, peeking my head out between the bookshelves before turning back to the shelf in front of me.
I grinned down at the book in my hand—a hardback copy of some thriller that was all the rage—and tried to pull my magic up. It kind of wiggled in my stomach, as if waking from sleep.
I hadn’t tried to use my magic on purpose without being hurt or angry since the time at the glowing tree. I had gotten the fruit to float to me, but it had taken a bit of coaxing. It seemed like my magic was as prickly as I was and needed more than a little push to get moving.
It had to be like riding a bike. I used to be able to do all kinds of things with my magic without even thinking about it. One time, to get back at my Fae mother, I changed all the cherries in her tarts to raspberries, a flavor she finds completely vile, and I’d done it with just a snap of my fingers. Moving a book should be a piece of cake.
I stared down at the book in my hand, scrunching my brow together as if it would make me concentrate harder. The book twittered in my hands for a moment before floating just above my palms. Just as I was about to praise myself for my accomplishment, it dropped back into my hands. Startled by the sudden weight, my hands let the book slip through my fingers, and it landed with a loud boom on the library floor.
I winced, and then waited to hear the telltale sound of Brandi’s feet, but she didn’t make an appearance. I heaved a sigh of relief. Bending down to pick up the traitorous book, I dusted it off and grumbled under my breath at my own stupidity. Doing magic in public? Really? Did I want to be carted off to the mental ward? Or worse yet, experimented on? Because that was exactly what was going to happen if someone caught me.
I couldn’t imagine the world reacting well to the thought of real magic. The human idea of magic was pyrotechnics and CGI. We couldn’t even accept each other for our skin color or sexual orientation; the Fae mingling in this realm would be like an alien invasion, one that resulted in a shoot first and dissect later kind of war. Though, with the way things were going in the Underground, humans finding out about the Fae should be the last thing on my mind. Fae were disappearing and the Shadows were on the rampage.
“What are you doing, Katherine?” Brandi said from behind me.
I dropped the book mid-shelving. It slammed against the floor again, and I cringed. I drew back my shoulders and turned to face Brandi. Her lips were pursed so tight that I could barely make out the light pink of her lipstick. I couldn’t tell if her eyebrows were raised or if the arch in them was just made that way. I stifled down a smile at the thought.
“I hope you are taking more care than this with the other books, Katherine. I wouldn’t want to have to dock them from your pay for damages.” The tone of her voice made me think that was exactly what she hoped to do.
My fists curled into tight balls, and I clenched my teeth. “No, we wouldn’t want that.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and appraised my ridged form. Oh, here it comes. I knew it would come sooner or later.
“You know, I don’t know what I am going to do with you. First, I give
you a job out of the kindness of my heart, even though you don’t have the qualifications. Then not even three weeks in you call in sick supposedly with the flu, but then you come back with your hair colored completely blonde.” She gestured a hand at my head. I had it pulled back into a ponytail to keep out of the way. “Not that I am complaining, mind you, it is a wonderful change from that garish auburn you’ve been sporting.”
Each word was like an accelerant for my anger. She always knew how to give a backhanded compliment. I could feel my magic buzzing under my skin as she continued on about my looks.
“I could have forgiven the hair. I, myself, have skipped out on work to go on a much-needed spa day, but those eyes!” She pointed her perfectly manicured finger at me, and I forced myself not to step back as it got close to my face. “I don’t know what kind of person wants to change the color of their eyes and to such an unnatural color. I didn’t even know you wore contacts. Is that new? You know, you really should take better care of yourself. You’re already not looking too fit.” She paused, glancing down at my hips. “And we are getting older. We must keep up with our health, or what else do we have? Am I right?”
I tried to answer her—I really did—but I knew the moment I opened my mouth all of my magic would fly out of me and knock Brandi out of her thousand dollar heels, and then where would I be? Out of work and out of the Fae closet.
“Well?” She stared at me. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
Struggling to swallow my magic back down my throat, I made a gagging sound.
“Oh, my. You’re not going to be sick are you?” Her face twisted in disgust.
A warm hand slid into mine, and a calm voice purred in my ear, “No, she won’t. She will be just fine.”
The feel of Chess’ hand in mine calmed my magic, and it settled back into my skin where it belonged. The wide-eyed dreamy look in Brandi’s eyes forced me to jerk around to look at Chess.
