Who is Katie? I want to kill the bitch. That can be the only way to quell my irrational jealousy, so who is this whore and where can I find her?
Obviously, this phone belonged to her. Does that mean she’s the one who gave it to me? It would not have come from Jake – not only would I have recognized the handwriting on the box, but he knows me well enough to know how I would react to the kind of texting that was going on between him and this fucking teenager. Shit, he knows something like this would make me wild. And Jake would never do that to me.
The door opens and I snap my attention in its direction. When Will enters with a supportive smile on his face, I secretly curse his arrival while simultaneously sliding the Samsung under the sheets where he will not see it.
“Sweetheart,” he says once he gets close enough that I can smell him – a whiff of cologne mixed in with the steady odor that is purely Will. “You’re sweating. Are you okay?”
He reaches for the sheets, as if to peel them away to cool me down, but I take a firm grip and keep them pulled high.
“I’m good,” I tell him and he gets the hint. He steps back. “I’m sorry,” I sigh. “Didn’t sleep well last night.”
He gives a half grin. “You can catch some more sleep, if you want. I have no trouble just watching you for the rest of my break.”
Aaawww, isn’t he just the sweetest man on Earth? I smile as pleasantly as I can; not easy considering how much I wish he would just leave so I can get back to the phone. “I think I can stay awake for you.” Deep breath – how long are his lunch breaks, anyway? I can’t remember. “How’s your day been? They tell me I could be going home tonight.”
He nods knowingly. “Yes, the doctor mentioned that.” He wipes a hand across my sweaty forehead, then frowns. “But I’m still a little worried.”
I give him another smile and shake my head gently. “I’m fine. If I weren’t, they wouldn’t be talking about releasing me.”
He puts on his big-boy face and agrees, nodding in that condescending way he sometimes has. And then there’s the silence, the unspoken disappointment. Will looks away, and I can tell that he’s thinking about something he should not be.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him, hoping to distract his thoughts, as if doing so will keep the truth buried. “I didn’t know I was pregnant. We’ve been trying so hard and for so long and… and I should have known.” I pour on the tears, not hard considering that I just lost something that up until two months ago seemed like an impossibility.
Will leans in and pulls me into his arms, his firm grip holding me tight. I feel safe and secure with him, always have. He has a solid hold of me and that makes me feel safe. It reminds me why I married him in the first place and for a moment I forget about everything else (yes, even the Samsung Galaxy). It feels like we’re the only two kids in this amusement park called life.
* * *
A sound wakes me and I check the clock. It’s just after two in the afternoon; I have been sleeping less than an hour. Will has left and taken the flowers with him. With my pending release from the hospital, I nearly forget about the phone, and then set off on a frantic search to find it.
It’s exactly where I left it, right under the sheets, and not exactly hidden either. I wonder if Will saw it; he would have known it’s not my phone, so why wouldn’t he have looked at it?
I don’t spend too much time trying to figure that one out because I’m relieved it’s still there. So I get back to the jAppe application, picking up exactly where I left off.
Sunday April 7, 2013
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Jake
7:53pm:
Hey, are you still awake or is it past your bedtime?
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7:55pm:
If I remember correctly, you were the first one to fall asleep last night. Old man.
7:56pm:
Not used to the stamina of a younger woman, are you?
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Jake
7:58pm:
LOL. I don’t think it’s a matter of age.
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7:59pm:
Really? You sure you want to have this conversation with a third-year med student? Because something tells me you’ll go to bed pouting about it if you do.
8:02pm:
So what’s troubling you?
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Jake
8:04pm:
Last night and this morning were good. No, they were GREAT. It’s been the best weekend I’ve had in a long time.
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8:05pm:
Don’t get all maple-syrup sappy with me, Jake. We’re both adults, remember?
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Jake
8:07pm:
Yes. I know. You’re right. And that’s why I wanted to chat.
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8:09pm:
I get it. No need to explain. I enjoyed it too, btw. That thing you do with your fingers on my knee – I start to squirm just thinking about it!
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Jake
8:11pm:
I’ve heard that it has a special effect on women… glad you enjoyed it.
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8:12pm:
And when you kiss my neck, I swear my knees will just give in and I’ll collapse into a mess of physical arousal. If that makes any sense – haha.
8:13pm:
But what I really enjoyed above all of the things you did to me, the things that absolutely pushed me to the edge of self-control, was finally getting a hold of your pants and taking you in my mouth. I’ve seen my share of men during my rounds and rotations, but I have never craved any of them like I crave you. You’re beautiful, Jake. You felt so gentle yet hard and passionate in my mouth, all at the same time.
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Jake
8:14pm:
We’ll have to get together again so I can get a better understanding of what you just said. Plus I have a lot more that I want to do to you, but I didn’t think you could handle my A-game.
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8:16pm:
So it’s a date. You tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.
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Jake
8:19pm:
I guess that’s part of the reason I wanted to chat, too.
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8:21pm:
I’m a little confused.
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Jake
8:23pm:
I already told you things are complicated for me right now. I just don’t want us to get carried away.
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8:25pm:
Of course not. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company. If we’re just fuck-buddies, that’s fine with me.
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Jake
8:27pm:
No, nothing like that. I care about you. I just can’t fall in love with you. I’m sorry.
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8:28pm:
LOL. Don’t grow a vajayjay on me, Jake. I can’t have someone your age falling in love with me – shit, you’re almost as old as my dad! Bad enough I have to deal with sad old men at work, don’t turn into a geriatric old fuck on me too.
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Jake
8:30pm:
OK, point taken.
8:31pm:
I won’t fall in love with you. Potty mouth.
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8:32pm:
Perfect. Then it’s still a date ; )
8:32pm:
Just tell me when and where. I’m free all week after 3pm.
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Jake
8:34pm:
Is tomorrow too soon? I was thinking of cooking for you and then giving my tongue a bit of a workout somewhere on the inside of your hip?
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8:35pm:
Sure, tomorrow’s fine. But I can’t stay the night. I have a quiz Tuesday morning.
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Jake
8:36pm:
OK, sure. I can drive you home around midnight.
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8:37pm:
Good. So we’ll meet at your place around 6pm? Gotta run, Jake. Term paper. GN.
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Jake
8:38pm:
Great chatting.
8:39pm:
I’m looking forward to tomorrow. And what I want to do to you.
8:40pm:
Right, you’re gone now, aren’t you?
8:41pm:
What does GN mean?
8:43pm:
OH, forget it! Good night.
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Tuesday April 9, 2013
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Jake
5:38am:
Katie, you’re absolutely wonderful. I know it was a brief night – I wish I could have kept you until morning – but it was still amazing for me… thank you.
5:39am:
Let me know when you’re done with your classes today. Want to have dinner again?
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9:43am:
Sorry, Jake, I have a bunch of schoolwork that I’ve been neglecting. Maybe this weekend?
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Jake
10:03am:
I thought you were free every day after 3pm… And yes, for the record? I’m pouting because you’re going to put me through withdrawal.
10:04am:
This WEEKEND? That’s 3 more sleeps!
10:34am:
Did I offend you?
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11:02am:
Not offended, just sitting in class. It’s what we students do during the day.
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Jake
11:03am:
OK. Text me when you’re free. I’ll be waiting…
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2:16pm:
Maybe dinner isn’t such a bad idea, old man. Is that offer still up for grabs?
2:25pm:
Or has Christa magically reappeared in your life?
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Jake
2:46pm:
Do I detect the hint of jealousy?
2:48pm:
Because it’s ChrisTINE, btw. I think I’ve mentioned that already.
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3:07pm:
Not jealousy. Just wondering when this fairy tale experience with you will come to an end. I know I’m just a placeholder in the big picture of your life, Jake. And that’s totally OK with me, I get it. But even riding a crowded subway after a long day is something you’ll miss when you have nothing but a walk home in the cold.
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Jake
3:12pm:
Holy shit that was poetic. From you? I thought you were the heartless, young princess that is too good for love and feelings and old men like me.
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3:13pm:
To be or not to be an old man, that is the question. Besides, just because I’m heartless and younger than you doesn’t mean I don’t have a brain.
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Jake
3:14pm:
Touché.
3:15pm:
So you’re comparing me to riding the subway? I might have settled for wild stallion, but even then….
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3:15pm:
I don’t think members of the equine species are still alive once they reach your age. So the subway lasts a little longer, even though the older models get creaky, fragile and smelly.
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Jake
3:18pm:
I’m smelly now?
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3:20pm:
I’m talking about the subway. Better get those eyes checked, I think the old stallion needs bifocals.
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Jake
3:28pm:
You’re so sweet to me. Maybe I should start looking a little harder for ChrisTINE?
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3:30pm:
Haha, Lance Romance. If you want someone to break your heart again, don’t worry. I know you’ll fall in love with me. You’ll ache for me someday. But you can’t have me.
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Jake
3:30pm:
Sounds like you’ve taken your confidence pills today, heartless princess.
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3:30pm:
Whatev. Don’t ever say I didn’t warn you.
3:31pm:
So are you making me dinner tonight or what?
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Jake
3:31pm:
We’ll see about “aching” for you.
3:32pm:
And just show up at my place at your convenience.
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3:35pm:
Perfect, see you around 5:30.
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Friday April 12, 2013
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Jake
6:47pm:
You were right on Tuesday night. Everything you said was so accurate, I wonder if you’re psychic or telepathically read through all of my texts with Christine while I was making dinner. Can you do that?
6:50pm:
Because you were right that I obviously got caught up in something that I never should have got caught up in. And yes, Christine has a scary, violent past. And you also knew that she told me about it once – how did you know that? - so I’m sorry that I lied when I said she didn’t. I pretended I didn’t know anything about it because it’s scary as hell and I don’t want you or anyone to get caught up in it. It’s her scary past, it’s best left there.
7:12pm:
I also agree that everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that. But she and I connected on a level that I have never connected with someone else before.
7:13pm:
So I apologize if it seems that I’m chasing a ghost sometimes. If you ever know the love and connection that I have with Christine, you will understand why it’s LINGERING as you put it.
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8:15pm:
Jake, let me ask you something. I met you the night you were supposed to meet Christine, right?
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Jake
8:16pm:
Yes. She texted me, she set it up.
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8:23pm:
Did she ever show up?
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Jake
8:24pm:
I think I know where this is headed.
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8:25pm:
Even if she had shown up, within a couple of weeks, you and I were screwing each other and you were inviting me out on dates and making me dinner at your place. Now, after this little bit of time together, what if I were to say that you’re MY soulmate and I love you more than oxygen, and whatever other vomit-inducing bullshit Christine might have said to you? Would our relationship qualify as the type of love and connection that nobody else would understand? The kind that lingers?
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Jake
8:34pm:
No, you don’t understand. It was different with Christine.
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8:39pm:
LOL x 1,000,000,000! It’s not different. There’s no such thing as “different.” It’s just a bunch of words attached to a bunch of moments.
8:40pm:
Don’t take this the wrong way. I want to fall in love and be swept off my feet as much as any other woman out there. But Christine was a fraud and the amount of energy and faith you’ve flushed away with that fraud is a complete waste, Jake. You deserve better than that.
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Jake
8:42pm:
Are you suggesting that BETTER is you? That YOU are what’s better for me?
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8:57pm:
I sure fucking hope not. Because I’m just as messed up as any other woman and I can tell you right now that you’re not good enough for me.
8:58pm:
But what I DO know is that Christine is not the best person for you. It’s time for you to let go of that train wreck and move on.
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Jake
9:00pm:
You’re probably right.
9:03pm:
Want to come over?
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Textual Encounters: 2 Page 2
