by Vicki Green
We arrive in town, and I pull into the police station parking lot. Pearl is as anxious as I am, but I told her to eat the lunch I bought for her, and I’d be out in a few minutes. She agreed only because I made her promise to take it easy and to mind me, was kind of kidding, or she couldn’t come with me. It doesn’t take but about twenty minutes in the station once I find the officers on the case, and I am back in the car following them over to Macy’s house. I’m getting more anxious and also dreading seeing Macy again, but I’m ready for the fight I’m sure is about to happen. We pull up alongside the curb about a half block down from her house, and I’m holding Pearl’s hand tightly as we follow behind the officers walking up to her front door. “Stay behind me, Pearl. I don’t want you to get hurt.” I look over at her, and she nods, then squeezes my hand tightly.
My heart is beating so fast and so hard I feel like I might lose it when the front door opens and Macy stands there, looking at the officers and then spots me behind them. “What the fuck is this all about and what in the hell are you doing here? Harley? What have you done?”
A police officer clears his throat and holds up the signed paper. “Mrs. Macy Kincaid?” She stares straight at me and nods slowly. “This is a signed official document stating Mr. Harley Sanders has full custody of a Miss Rosie Sanders to be handed over to him at this time.”
Her face pales as she opens the door wide and steps aside. Both officers step through the doorway, one staying out on the porch. I start walking in, Pearl behind me, my hand grasping hers tightly, and I stop when Macy speaks. “You’re gonna regret this, Harley. Rosie will hate you. She’ll hate that you’re taking her from me. You’ve always been a sorry excuse for a boy and now I see you are the same as a man.” My eyes close as her spit hits my face, but I don’t look at her. I wipe off her germs with my hand, rubbing it on my jeans and with my head held high I pull Pearl into the house and walk towards the sounds of my crying and screaming daughter.
I pull Pearl through the small house, down a hallway, following the sounds of my daughter, my eyes keeping watch behind me to make sure Macy doesn’t try anything. I’d put nothing past her. I walk into a small bedroom and see Rosie sitting on the floor, toys, clothes and crap everywhere around her. She looks up at me, her dark brown eyes full of tears. Her sweet little lips puckered up as she sniffs and my eyes can’t believe I’m seeing my daughter for the first time. I release Pearl’s hand and feel her pat then squeeze my arm, and I can hear Pearl’s sniffles as I bend down in front of Rosie and smile. “Hey, pretty girl. I’m your daddy. Want to come home with me?” Her face scrunches up, and she lets out a cry but my eyes widen when she holds her arms out to me. I quickly pick her up as I stand, and I can’t keep my tears at bay any longer. I turn around to the officers, and they nod. I reach down and take Pearl’s hand and hold my baby girl close to me, her little face pushing into my neck. Her little hand fists the front of my shirt, the other holding my shirt in the back as I proudly walk out of the room, down the hall, and I don’t look at Macy as I walk out the front door.
I know Rosie doesn’t understand what’s happening, but she’s so good about letting me buckle her in the car seat. Her little mouth pouting and sniffling as a tear rolls down her little cheek, and I know this is so hard on her. I reach into the sack beside the seat and take out a couple of handheld toys and show them to her. She sniffs a few times and then reaches out for them but lets them drop in her lap. I smile, close the door and run around the car, getting in quickly. As I turn around in a driveway, I flip my hand at the officers in the car, and see them wave back. I really wanted to thank them for their help, but I just want to get my girls back home. As we start our long drive home, I can’t stop looking in the mirror at her. She lets out a small cry every once in a while, looks around the car, out the window and finally picks up one of the toys. She must be so confused. I can’t believe how much she looks like me with the dark hair and facial features, but she has her mother’s dark brown eyes. She’s beautiful.
After about fifteen minutes, she starts crying, and I watch Pearl take out a bottle, fill it with the small container of milk and turn around in her seat, handing it to Rosie. Rosie looks at it for about half a beat and then grabs it, puts it in her mouth, and I chuckle when I hear her sucking on it loudly. I turn my head to Pearl and smile. “You’re amazing. You thought of everything.” She looks at me and reaches for my hand, which I give her gladly, and smiles.
“I babysat a lot when I was younger. I know what she needs, well, I hope most of the time. She’s beautiful, Harley, and she looks so much like her daddy.” My heart can’t beat any faster, and my emotions are going rampant, filled with love.
I look in the mirror again at my girl and smile. “She does, doesn’t she?” I look back at Pearl and feel a tear leave my eye that I hadn’t known was there. “Thank you for coming with me. Thank you for loving me. I don’t know…. I’m at a loss for….” Damn, I can’t get the words to come.
I look down when she squeezes my hand and then back up to her bright eyes. “There’s no need, babe. She’s going to have the best home, the best care and will be so happy.” I’m speechless hearing her words, but I lean over, keeping my eyes on the road, and our mouths meet as she leans towards me. A few minutes later I get a little alarmed when I don’t hear Rosie and turn my head to find she’s sound asleep. Pearl looks back and then at me and smiles. “She’s gonna be so confused. She’s so little.” She opens up a folded paper and gasps. “Harley. Her third birthday is in two days. We need to get a party together. I’ll tell Mom as soon as we get home. She’ll go crazy.” Her eyes look at me, and we both laugh. My head floods with memories of the day she was born, how I wasn’t allowed to be there and my frustration of not seeing her along with not being there for Venice. But then my eyes look in the mirror again and see Rosie’s precious face as she sleeps and my heart flutters in joy.
After a tiring road trip, we finally pull into the parking lot at the apartment around four thirty, and I take my sleeping girl out of her seat and grab the sack of toys as Pearl gets all the other things we brought. We walk up the stairs, and by the time we reach the front door it swings open with Knox standing there smiling and Jade’s hand covering her mouth as her eyes soften looking at my little girl. I walk passed them. Jade’s other hand pats Rosie’s little head, as I carry my sleeping girl upstairs and lay her gently into her new bed. I cover her up with a new pink blanket and watch her sleep for a minute. I’m exhausted by the time I walk downstairs and see everyone sitting around the living room. Sitting down on the couch next to Pearl, her hand quickly laying on my leg, I lean down and kiss the top of her head. “You have to be tired. I know I am.”
She looks up at me and smiles, then Jade speaks up. “Well, we don’t want to intrude and I’m sure this will all be strange for Rosie when she wakes up so we’re going to leave but I made a casserole for dinner. It’s in the fridge so you just have to heat it up, along with some garlic bread and a salad. I made some homemade mac and cheese too that she might like.” Jade and Knox both stand and so do I. I walk over to Jade and put my arms around her without hesitation which really surprised me.
“Thank you so much for everything. You’ll never know how much I appreciate it,” I whisper. Her hand rubs my back, and I hear a little sniffle.
“Oh, Harley.” She leans back and I now see the wetness in her eyes but the biggest smile on her face. “She’s just beautiful. I’m so glad you are together, finally.” She wipes her eyes as she releases me and then walks to Knox, his arm moving around her, and he squeezes her arm. I walk over to him and shake his hand.
“Thank you, sir, so much!” He nods and smiles, and I swear there’s a little tear in the corner of his eye.
“No need to thank me and it’s Knox.” I nod and watch them leave and turn to Pearl, who’s standing beside me. I pull her into my arms. My mouth crashes against hers, and I pour all my love into her. Right now, right this second, I’m the happiest man in the world.
I awaken to the cries of Rosie and open my eyes to see Harley carrying her out from the hallway, through the living room and into the kitchen. I rub my eyes and look at the clock to see I’ve been asleep on the couch for about an hour. I must have been more tired than I realized. Moving the blanket that Harley must have covered me with, I stand, stretch and walk to the kitchen stopping in the doorway and leaning against the frame. I smile as I watch him put her into the new high chair, then walk to the fridge, get out the milk and grab a bottle from the counter where I put them and fill it. He takes it over and hands it to her outstretched hands and sits down beside her. “There you go, baby girl.” He gently strokes her dark hair with his fingers as he watches her drink and her big eyes are staring at him the entire time. I push against the frame and walk into the room, and her eyes snap over to mine as she holds up her bottle and sucks loudly.
I grab the casserole Mom made, set the oven, and put it inside and walk over to the table, sitting down on the other side of Rosie. “Hey, sweetie. How’s that milk? Good?” I smile as her big eyes just stare at me, her mouth sucking hard on the bottle, and I look at Harley watching me. “Hey, babe. I hope you’re hungry. Mom made enough to feed a small army.” He chuckles and looks at Rosie then back at me.
“She seems to be doing okay, huh?” I nod and smile. Rosie takes the bottle out of her mouth and turns her head to him. “You’re doing okay, aren’t you, baby girl.” He flicks her little nose lightly, and she smiles. “Oh! You like that, huh?” He does it again, and she squeals. Cutest thing ever!
I get up, check on the casserole and get out the bread that’s in foil and place it in the oven as well. I get out Mom’s awesome mac and cheese and put it in there too. When I turn around to the sound of her giggles, I lean on the breakfast bar and smile as she smacks her little hands together, laughing and watching as Harley makes funny faces at her. My heart couldn’t be fuller. My insides raging with all the love I feel, and then I laugh when Rosie tries to flick his nose but with her full little hand. He blinks and acts like he’s hurt, and she starts laughing harder. I have a feeling everything’s going to be just fine with her getting used to her new home.
When I bring everything over to the table and Harley brings our drinks, I sit down next to Rosie, who’s smiling at the bowl of mac and cheese, her little hands outstretched at it. “Oh! You like mac and cheese?” Her eyes look at me, and she gives me a smile. I spoon some in a little bowl just for her, blow on it for a couple of minutes so it’s not too hot and set the bowl and a baby spoon on the high chair tray. She looks at it and then up at me and proceeds to scrape some up in her tiny hand and pushes it in her mouth. “Well, it looks like we need to teach little Miss Rosie how to use a spoon.” I laugh and look at Harley, who’s looking at her like she can do no wrong. I sit there and just watch Harley and Rosie, laughing, him helping her with her spoon and her cute face as she tries to use it, mac and cheese everywhere, even in her hair. I sigh as my heart fills with so many emotions all at once.
A knock comes on the front door when I’m leaning over and handing Rosie her spoon, and I look up at Harley, who’s already standing and heading out of the kitchen. “Oh, my gosh! She’s adorable!” Stormy’s voice comes booming into the kitchen, and I thought Rosie might be a little nervous around yet another new person, but she looks up as Stormy walks quickly to her, and I watch as Stormy pulls out her tray and picks her up. “Aren’t you just the cutest little girl?” Rosie smiles and pats her face with her sticky hands and Stormy laughs. “Looks like she’s in need of a bath, do you mind?” I shake my head and hear Bo and Harley’s voices as they walk into the kitchen. “Good, I need practice!” I smile as I watch her walk out of the room with Rosie and look over at the men.
“Here, man,” Bo says as he starts to hand Harley a beer from the fridge.
“Oh, no! Thanks! I need to keep a clear head. I’m a daddy now.” My heart aches it’s so full.
Bo laughs, “Shit, you can have one.” Harley’s reluctant and looks at me. I smile, and nod, and he takes it from Bo. “So cool having your daughter with you as it should be. She’s really cute, kinda messy though.” Harley laughs and takes a drink, and the guys come over and sit down while I gather up all the dirty dishes and get to washing them.
“Man, it’s unbelievable. I just find myself sitting and staring at her and when she was sleeping earlier, I sat in the rocking chair and just watched her breathe. It’s amazing. Just think you’ll have two of them to spoil rotten.”
Dang, I feel like my heart could explode. Things are going so well. Harley seems like he is loosening up with my family, he has Rosie finally, and he loves me. I finish all the dishes and take a sponge to Rosie’s tray, and as I’m walking away Harley grabs me around my waist, pulling me down onto his lap. “You didn’t eat much. Are you okay?” I giggle and squirm but then I look into his worried eyes.
“Yes, I’m fine. Quit worrying about me. I just don’t have my appetite back, yet. I feel wonderful especially now that you and Rosie are both here.” I give him a peck on his cheek, and he lightly smacks my bottom as I get up.
I go upstairs and hear singing in Rosie’s bathroom, creep in and stand at the doorway watching Stormy give her a bath. Mom had gotten her a bath chair and Rosie is splashing her hands in the water and smiling brightly as Stormy sings to her. She pours water from a small cup over her head, getting the shampoo out. Rosie’s little eyes blink rapidly and she turns her head looking at Stormy with such a sweet expression on her face. I cross my arms and watch as Stormy gets her all rinsed off and takes her out of the chair, laying her down on a towel she had spread out on the floor, talking to her constantly. Rosie’s little legs fold up, and she’s trying to grab at her toes while Stormy patiently drags another towel over her trying to get her dried off. She finally gets her dry, puts a diaper on her and then gets her little sleeper on her and picks her up.
“Now, that was fun, wasn’t it?” She blows raspberries on her neck. Rosie laughs and giggles and Stormy stands up and sees me. “She is just the cutest, Pearl. What a little doll.” She walks over, and I’m surprised when Rosie sees me and holds her arms out to me. I take her in my arms, and she lays her sweet head on my shoulder. “Awww, she loves you already. But what’s not to love?”
Stormy walks by and pats her back, and I walk over to the rocking chair and sit down. As I rock I start to hum and look down to see she’s sucking her thumb. Her eyes are closed, and so I continue to rock and hum. I don’t know how long we’ve been sitting here, but I don’t want to put her down in her bed. I’m beyond comfortable smelling her baby smell, her cuddling against me and the warmth of her little body. Pretty soon I look up and see Harley standing in the doorway, his hand up against the frame and looking all kinds of sexy. Dammit, and I’m not up to fooling around quite yet.
He winks as I rise from the chair and set Rosie in her bed. I cover her with her blanket and smooth back her hair from her face. She has to just be the cutest thing, and she looks so much like her daddy. I lean over the rail, kiss her forehead and turn around to see Harley watching me. He holds out his hand as I get near, and I take it without hesitation as he leads me over to our room. I quietly change into my sleepwear in the bathroom, and by the time I’ve brushed my teeth and hair and flipped off the light I see Harley laying in our bed, covers turned back and his hand patting the mattress beside him. I smile as I walk over, climb into bed and into his arms. His hand pulls up the covers around me and then rests over my arm.
“You’re so good with her.” I look up and see him looking at me smiling.
“It’s not hard when she’s such a good baby.”
“But you are good with her, a natural.” He sighs, and I watch his head lay back and his eyes look at the ceiling. “So much has happened and so fast. It’s just weird that one minute I fall in love and the next you and your family help me get my daughter.” His arm moves back around from my shoulder, and his body turns to face me. “I’ve n
ever felt love before. Oh, Venice and I felt something but it wasn’t like this. This…. This is overwhelming. It’s overpowering. I dunno. It’s hard to describe.”
I smile as I run my fingers up and down his arm. “It’s something you’ve never had and I’m sure it’s a little foreign but it feels great, doesn’t it?”
He leans down and kisses the tip of my nose and moves back. “It’s wonderful but it makes me wonder when something bad will happen. I’ve never had things go well for me so I guess I’m expecting the worst to happen at some point.”
I give him a little scowl. “Things won’t always be perfect, Harley, but we do what we can to keep happiness. We have to be strong to obtain that and for those around us. It’s not always easy, that’s why we have family.”
He flicks my nose, and I giggle and then let out a huge yawn. He moves on to his back and puts his arm around me. I cuddle into him and rub the side of my face into his chest. “How’d you get so smart?”
“From my family,” I yawn.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
My eyes snap open and my ears perk up. I swear I heard something. I lay very still and only hear the light breathing of Pearl cuddled close to me. “Wah!” Rosie. I carefully move my arm from around my girl and slowly slide out of bed and walk quickly across the hall and into Rosie’s room. There she is, standing up in bed and crying. Grateful I can see well with her night light, I walk right over to her, pick her up and grab a cloth diaper to lay on the floor and then gently set my sleepy daughter down on top of it. I reach over and get the wipes and a disposable diaper and start unsnapping her sleeper. Once I’ve cleaned her up, talking quietly to her about nothing in particular, I put on the clean diaper and snap her sleeper back up. Standing, I lift her in my arms and sit down in the rocker, and she instantly cuddles up against me. No wonder Pearl didn’t want to get up from here earlier. This is the best thing I’ve ever experienced. I look down to see Rosie’s eyes closed, her lashes still wet from her tears, and her thumb in her mouth. As I rock, I rub her back lightly and when I look at her again, she looks like she’s asleep, but then her mouth will suck her thumb a couple of times and then stop. Adorable. So this is what it’s like. I’m in heaven. I lean my head back and continue to rock, and my eyes start to get heavy.
