Deja nodded, then looked away. She should start measuring out flour or something. Do anything to make it look like she wasn’t scared or a chicken or anything. She should’ve walked outside with Sophie and helped pass out drinks instead of staying hidden in the kitchen. Not that Sophie gave her a choice. Her words had been, “Get the dough started for the pies. I can handle the drinks.”
Sophie just knew she didn’t want to go out there and face everybody. Face Emmett. She had been extremely uncomfortable when congratulations circled her. Sophie knew. She saw it right away, whisking her inside the house as soon as Zane spoke. Dare still hadn’t said much. Not even a quick word of congrats.
She looked at the recipe before her and grabbed a measuring cup. Sophie better hurry because she was bound to screw this recipe up. She was not a baker, not like Sophie.
“You don’t look happy.”
The measuring cup nearly slipped through her fingers, sending flour everywhere. Almost afraid to look at Gabe, she steeled her spine and met his gaze. “I’m fine.”
He set the few water bottles he grabbed from the fridge onto the counter next to him. “You keep saying that, but I’m not seeing it.”
Strange. She didn’t have conversations like this with Gabe. He normally hung out in the background, speaking occasionally. He was shy, or more like, soft-spoken. He usually only spoke when something needed to be said. Apparently, he felt like this was one of those times. She liked Gabe. He could be funny and always a gentleman, no matter the occasion. Although, what was she thinking, all the McCord men were gentlemen.
“I get it. You don’t want to talk about it. I hate it when my brothers goad me into talking. I didn’t mean to be so bold.” He smiled softly and started to grab the water bottles. “Emmett’s the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time. I just wished you matched his happiness.”
“It’s not real, Gabe. This is a mistake.”
His hand paused, a slight quiver as he did. “Then why are you wearing the ring?”
Deja looked at the ring adorning her finger. Why was she wearing it? Because it looked good on her hand. Because she wanted to believe it was real. Because she loved Emmett. Those words would never come out of her mouth, though. He didn’t mean what he said last night. He couldn’t.
“We all make mistakes, Deja. I’m sorry you think being engaged to my brother is one of them.”
Her eyes popped up to Gabe. He didn’t look mad, but she didn’t miss the flicker of disappointment.
“He didn’t even ask me. He just shoved the ring on my finger.”
“Again, then why are you wearing it?” He took a few steps toward her. “You’ve made mistakes in your life. Things happen. You’re scared to open yourself up. I get it. But this isn’t one of them.”
Was she that easy to read? Even Gabe, someone she rarely saw, could tell she was scared. That wasn’t good. She lightly laughed. It sounded haughtier than she intended. “Like you’ve made mistakes like me. Get real.”
Gabe glanced around, his eyes darting to the door as if he didn’t want anyone to hear what he was about to say. “I have, actually. Do you want to know the colossal mistake I made? You have to promise to keep it to yourself.”
Intrigued by this, positive he had never made the kind of mistakes she had, she nodded.
“When I went to Vegas with my buddies a few months ago, I got really wasted. I mean, it’s Vegas, right? You’re supposed to have fun.” He laughed and shook his head. “I guess I had a little too much fun. I woke up the next morning next to…she was beautiful. Long strawberry blonde hair. I had no idea who she was.”
“Wait a minute. Are you telling me, Gabe the shy goose, had a one-night stand?”
His cheeks burned bright red. “I hate that nickname. I wish Ethan had never told you that.” His eyes darted to the floor. “It was a little worse than that. I married her.”
“You’re lying. Give me a break. I see you’re trying to make me feel better, but that’s kind of a stretch, even for you.” Deja dumped the flour into the bowl and scooped up another cup.
She refused to be made a fool of. Out of everyone in the McCord family, she never expected Gabe to act this way.
Her head jerked up when she realized Gabe stood right next to her. His cheeks were still a rosy red, mismatching with the frown and wrinkles covering his forehead. “I’m not lying. I have the paperwork to prove it.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Are you still married?”
“Yeah. I kind of freaked out when I saw a naked woman in the bed next to me, no matter how beautiful she was. I slipped out of bed, took a shower, and by the time I got out, she was gone.”
“Did she wipe you clean? Did you call the cops?”
He shook his head, then ran a hand through his shaggy black locks of hair. “She didn’t steal from me. I found the marriage license. I tried to track her down, but had no luck. All I have is her name and little snippets of memories. I’ll never drink that much again. I might have to hire a PI to find her. I mean, I need to get this fixed. I can’t stay married to a woman I don’t know.”
“You haven’t told anyone?”
He laughed, although she heard no humor in it. “You know my brothers. They’ll just tease me up and down for doing something so idiotic. I don’t want to hear it. It was dumb. Married to a woman and I don’t even remember it.” He grinned. “See, we all make mistakes. Is marrying my brother really one of yours?”
Deja glanced at the ring again.
“It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel like you’re alone. But, the thing is,” he gently smiled, “you’re not. You have us. You have Emmett. He loves you. It’s been obvious to all of us for a very long time.”
Gabe walked back to the water bottles and stacked them in his arms. He started to walk out.
“Hey, Gabe.”
He stopped and glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah?”
“Your secret’s safe with me. Thanks for the talk.”
“Thanks for listening. I feel better someone else knows. I guess I must’ve ditched my friends that night because they don’t even know what happened.” He smiled, reminding her instantly of Emmett. “I’m glad you’ll be a part of the family officially. You’re good for Emmett.”
Deja had to wipe a stray tear away as soon as Gabe walked out. Could Emmett really want to marry her? The ring on her finger said he was serious.
Opening herself to another person would take more courage than she possessed. Could she do it? If it was anyone else, probably not. But Emmett? She just didn’t know.
♡
He pulled the truck into the garage and hit the button. The loud crunching noise of the garage door descending awakened Deja in the passenger seat.
“What’s that noise? Are we home?” She blinked a few times, glancing around.
Emmett grabbed her hand and kissed it lightly. “We’re home.”
Her eyes narrowed. She pulled her hand from his grasp. “This isn’t my house. Why are we at your house?”
“Because we should talk and I don’t want Dare to interrupt us.”
“Oh, now you wanna talk. Don’t you think talking would’ve been good before you shoved this thing onto my finger?”
The diamond twinkled before his eyes as she held her hand up. It looked good on her. He paid a pretty penny for it. Nearly drained half his savings, but it was so worth it. She was worth it. Just like she was worth this ensuing fight sure to begin.
He was a little surprised they didn’t have this fight earlier this morning when he, as she put it, shoved the ring on her finger. Giving her time to think about his actions always made her react in the wrong way. Fleeing as far away from him as she could possibly get. That’s why he slipped the ring on her finger without asking. That’s why he said they were getting married without asking. He was still waiting for her to argue about it. Apparently, it was time.
“It looks good on you.” He stepped out of the truck.
“Emmett, don’t you walk away from me.”<
br />
Of course, that’s what he did anyway, chuckling beneath his breath as he heard her angry footsteps trailing him. He tossed his keys on the counter near the door that led from the garage and headed for the fridge. They ate supper before leaving the farm, but he needed something to drink. Not to drown his sorrows as Ethan loved to say. He was just thirsty, that’s all.
He turned toward her with a beer dangling from his hand. “Want one?”
Her hands were poised on her hips, her lips in a tight line, and her hair flowed down her back, a little resting on her chest hiding her cleavage, making him itch to cross the kitchen and brush it back. Probably not what she wanted him to do. Or maybe he should just kiss her. Show her without words just how much he loved her. He had a feeling this conversation still wouldn’t convince her.
“What’s going on?”
“We’re having a beer. You wanna watch a movie?” He flashed her a smile, but it did nothing to deter the hard look on her face or relax the rigidness of her stance.
“You said we were going to talk.”
“Did I? We can watch a movie first.”
“I don’t want to watch a movie. I want to talk.”
A slow grin crept onto his face. “Great. Let’s talk.”
“You tricked me.” She threw her finger out, pointing at him like he was the last man standing. Which he probably was. “You knew I didn’t want to talk, then made it seem like I do. I don’t.”
“Now you’re just confusing me, Deja.” He couldn’t help but chuckle. It was wrong to make her mad like this. He wasn’t even sure why he was. Perhaps because she looked so adorable when she got upset. “Here, have a beer.” He grabbed another beer from the fridge, holding one out for her to take.
She fiddled with her finger. The ring went flying across the island standing between them. “Here, have a ring.”
Okay. He might’ve went a little too far. That was the last thing he wanted her to do. He set both beers down and picked up the ring. “I know the owner of the jewelry store. I had to wake her up and have her open the store early this morning just so I’d be there on time to pick you guys up. I wanted you to have a ring, not just think it was a bunch of talk on my part.”
“Emmett, you can’t just say you’re going to marry me and not ask. This has gotten out of hand. Your entire family thinks we’re getting married and we’re not.”
Toying with the ring, he kept his eyes trained on that instead of her. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me you were a virgin? Why would you call yourself a slut when it’s not true?” He lifted his head. “Why can’t you love me?”
Her face turned to sorrow for a brief moment before disappearing as if it never happened. “It’s just something people love to call me.”
Okay, so she wanted to ignore the statement about love. Fine. He’d let her for now. “But it’s not true. Even if I wouldn’t have been the first guy, it’s not true.”
“You don’t know me.”
He clenched his fists. “I know you. I may not know the secrets you hide inside, but I know everything I need to know. You’re beautiful. You’re kind. You’re there for your friends and family. You’re human. Sure, you’ve made some dumb mistakes, but we all have. Why are you so hard on yourself? Why am I like a broken record telling you how much I care about you?”
She bit her lip as her mouth started to break apart into a frown. “We’re very different people. I come from the wrong side of town. You could do better than me.”
He stalked to her within three long strides. Cupping her right cheek, his thumb soothed the worry from her face. “I hate it when you put yourself down. Did I hurt you? If I would’ve known, I would’ve been more gentle.”
“It was beautiful, Emmett. You could never hurt me. Unlike me, who continues to hurt you. I’m not ready for marriage.”
He slipped the ring into his pocket, then grasped her face between his hands. “I jumped the gun. I’m sorry. You know how I feel now. That’s what I want. I want you as my wife. I love you. How can I show you what I say is real? What will make you believe me?”
“I don’t know.”
He brushed his lips with hers. She slowly opened her mouth to him. Taking cue from her that she wanted to kiss him, he dove in, savoring everything about her. Her sweet taste. The way her body fit perfectly with his. The tiny sounds she made as they kissed. God, he loved her. Why did he hide his feelings for her for so long? He could be such an idiot at times.
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her closer. A small moan escaped from her as her arms circled around him. Needing more, knowing no amount of talking was going to convince her of anything, he lifted her up, cupping her ass as she tangled her legs around his waist. Hoping not to run into anything, he made his way to his bedroom while kissing her the entire time.
Laying her down on the soft brown comforter, he broke the kiss long enough to remove her shirt. She looked perfect lying there. Like she belonged there.
He lowered his mouth, kissing her lightly as he worked the clasp on her bra. “Tell me to stop now if you don’t want to go any further, otherwise, I’m going to explore this beautiful body from head to toe.”
“What happened to talking?” she whispered as he slipped her bra off and cupped one of her breasts.
“I’ll talk myself blue trying to convince you how I feel. I guess showing you will have to suffice. If I have to make love to you over and over until you understand, that’s just a cross I will have to bear.”
Giggling, she lightly swatted his chest. “Stop. You think you’re so funny.”
Nibbling her neck, trailing a path down to a succulent nipple, he laughed with her. “Just speaking the truth, sweetheart. I love you, and I’ll show you every day of my life just how much.”
♡
Deja willed herself not to move, not to brush her hand across Emmett’s chest in any way. He was sleeping and she didn’t want to wake him. Observing him like this, looking so handsome in his sleep, was all she wanted to do.
She knew she didn’t have the greatest childhood. Dare was her only bright spot in life. She didn’t even have any great friends growing up. Just Dare. So many years of listening to put-downs, name-calling, accusations, judgments. It should be easy to believe everything Emmett said. And she did. She knew he wasn’t a man to lie. Everything he said was true. But letting those words into her heart, holding them as true, that’s what she had a problem with.
Nobody ever said such things to her. It wasn’t like she could treat it like a light switch. Simply flicking the switch up and magically feel happy, believe in happily ever after. Those types of fairytale endings only happened in the books she used to read as a teenager. Not in her life. Her life never once displayed any sort of happiness.
Sure, she had Sophie’s friendship, and she supposed the friendship of the McCords. But true happiness, she didn’t know what that felt like.
Emmett’s easy breathing, the way his chest lifted up and down so smoothly told her how relaxed he was. No worries. Or did he worry? Did he think by her sleeping in his bed she was suddenly going to marry him? He hadn’t pulled the ring back out, but they had also fallen asleep after making love twice.
Twice. She still couldn’t believe how tenderly he had moved over her body, placing kisses in so many spots, she knew he didn’t leave one part of her body untouched. After loving her so sweetly, the passion in the room had spiked. The hunger took over. He had rocked her body with such intensity, she still tingled from the aftermath how many hours later.
Twenty-five years old and she finally slept with a man. She wanted to say it was because she was waiting for the right man. Nothing but a lie. The truth was she had been scared. Scared to open herself up to another person. Scared of how it would end. Scared how they’d react after the fact.
Here was Emmett, saying he loved her. Saying he wanted to marry her. Saying so many things and she still held him at an arm’s length. What was wrong with her? She had no idea. No idea whatsoever.
/> Simple truth—nothing but a scaredy cat. How pathetic. When would Emmett give up? That’s what scared her the most. He’d eventually get sick of trying. That should push her to give into her feelings and tell him she loved him back. Instead, it made her want to pull away even more.
Letting the fear win. Like always.
She rolled away from him, sick inside for wanting what she couldn’t have, even knowing she could have everything with little effort.
Even in sleep, Emmett knew when to comfort her. He instinctively moved with her, wrapping an arm around her stomach and pulled her close. Giving in, loving the way his arm held her close, she knew in the morning she’d just pull away again. She didn’t know how to stop acting that way. She hated herself for it.
Chapter 13
Deja pulled the blanket around her shoulders and positioned herself a little better on the couch. A nice Sunday afternoon watching the Twins play was just what she needed. She wished Emmett could enjoy it with her, but after spending all day yesterday helping rebuild part of the corral, he needed to work today for a client who didn’t mind he rescheduled yesterday for today.
Of course, most people didn’t mind. Not when Emmett called and used his sweet, charming voice to persuade them. Kind of like he was doing with her.
When he dropped her off at home, kissing her like it was the last time he would see her, she almost asked for the ring back. Almost. The fear held her back. Like always. She wanted to kick herself repeatedly for even taking the thing off. Serves her right for acting like an idiot. He loved her. She saw it in everything he said and did. She just had to accept it. Believe it wholeheartedly.
A loud thump sounded.
Turning towards the foyer, her eyes darted immediately to the bag lying by Dare’s feet. Slowly trailing upward, she met his gaze. No words came to mind. What could she say? Her brother was abandoning her. She didn’t think he’d actually do it. The bag lying on the floor said otherwise.
“It’s not what you think.”
“Really? Because it looks like you’re leaving.” She turned away, her eyes glued to the TV like she cared. Suddenly, she didn’t anymore. The Twins were winning, but all she felt was heartbreak.
Deserving You (A McCord Family Novel Book 3) Page 13
