“Can we talk?” I ask nervously, hoping she doesn’t say no.
“Sure.” Devin helps her up I grab her hand and slowly walk her to an empty room not to far from the waiting room.
“Devin told me what happened last night. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“It’s fine.” She says softy.
“No it’s not Kenzi, I should’ve been. I should've been there, I promise when you need me I will be there in a heartbeat. That won't happen ever again.” I wrap my arms around her, Kenzi wraps her arms around my waist and hugs me tight. I meant every word I won't let her go through that again. We walk back to the waiting room, she sits right next to Devin. We hear a loud crash and Kenzi practically jumps out of her skin, Devin grabs her hand and squeezes it. I sit next to her and grab her other hand, I want to know what is causing her panic attacks, but I'm not going to push her to tell me. Devin said she wasn't ready to talk about it so I'm not going to push it. Paul walks in with a big smile on his face.
“So boy or girl?” We said in unison.
“It's a boy.” Kenzi stands up and hugs Paul.
“Congratulations brother. Please tell me what's my nephew name.” She says with a big smile even though she's having a rough day. Once Paul came out she couldn't help but to smile, and I love that about her. No matter what's going on she can't hide a smile.
“Eric Holden.” We all cheer it's a perfect name and I can't wait to meet him. We were at the hospital for a few hours, Eric is so cute he looks like Paul so damn cute.
“Kenzi you ready to go home?” Devin asks, she looks a little scared. Devin put his hands up and shakes his head.
“I meant home with me and Erika.” She nods her head.
“You can stay with me tonight if you want.” I was always scared to let her in but seeing her fighting her own demons just makes me want her more; I just want to keep her safe. Devin whispers something into her ear and a small smile appears on her face. Devin puts her hand in my own, she leans into me and I wrap my arm around her waist.
“Kenzi you got my number call if you need me or text, you know the code.” I raise an eyebrow what code is he talking about. When we get to my place I grab her a water bottle and hand it to her.
“Drink some water.” She takes a sip and I shake my head.
“More Kenzi.”
“God, you’re just like Devin.” She drinks half the bottle and I smile, I take that as a compliment. Devin is overprotective of the people he loves. We all are and there’s nothing wrong with being overprotective.
“Do you want to get some rest?”
“Yes please.” I take her to my room and help her to the bed, I turn around to walk out of the room but she grabs my hand.
“Can you stay?”
“Sure.” I lay down next to her, she scoots closer to me and places her head on my chest. I wrap my arm around her and kiss the top of her head. I feel her body relax and that causes me to relax with her.
***
It’s been two weeks since Kenzi had her panic attack, she looks a lot better and is back to her cheerful self, but I don’t think she’s ready to go back to her place just yet. To be honest I would rather have her move in with me and my brother. Right now she’s holding Eric and Kenzi looks like she’s in heaven. Everytime she holds a baby I picture her pregnant with my baby and it’s taking all my strength not to do it right now. Kenzi gets up and walks towards me. Devin has been bothering me to ask Kenzi on a date and I’m freaking out just a little.
“Hey Kenzi.”
“Hi Rain.”
“So me you date Friday.” Kenzi has a little smirk on her face and it’s cute, I haven’t seen that before and I like it.
“A date?”
“Yes a date it’s where two people or maybe three go somewhere to be alone and get to know each other.”
“Smart ass. The fair is in town.” She says with an excited smile.
“The fair huh?” She nods her head as she raises both eyebrows.
“Okay the fair it is.”
“Great see you tomorrow.”
“Where are you going?” I ask curiously.
“Work sadly and if I’m going to be on time I need you to take Eric from me.” I couldn’t help laughing she’s been late almost all week because of the babies. I grab Eric and she rushes out the door before one of the kids flings themselves on her, that happened Tuesday it was funny as hell.
It’s Friday afternoon and I’m ready for my date with Kenzi. I just have to go across the street to Devin’s house. I walk in the house and Devin was feeding Sam.
“It’s about time.” I look at him confused because I know I’m not late.
“I’m early what are you talking about?”
“How long did it take you to ask her on a date?” I was about to say something then close my mouth he has a point.
“That’s what I thought.” I roll my eyes. Kenzi walks out of the room and she looks drop dead gorgeous, she’s wearing blue jeans with a black tank top her hair is long and wavy.
“Are you ready to go?”
“Yes I’m ready.” I open the door for her and she walks out of the house and goes across the street, I go to the car, but she shakes her head no and walks towards my bike. I was a little surprised, I grab my extra helmet and hand it to her. I get on my bike and she climbs behind me and wraps her arms around my waist. The fair wasn’t that far from our place, we get off the bike and I intertwine our fingers. Kenzi leans into me as I’m buying tickets.
We goon a few rides, she looks like a little kid having blast and I love it. As we are walking she stops and was looking at this stuffed turtle. She looks up at me with a smile on her face. We walk towards one of the water shooting games that you have to pop the bloon. I gave the guy the money.
“Only one of you can play.” The man said.
“That’s fine.” There was other people going to play.
“Go ahead cupcake.” She smiles as he walks up to her spot. I stand behind her, nobody says you can’t do it together. The buzzer goes off and we hold the button, we heard a pop and our balloon pops first.
“Which one do you want?” The man ask.
“The turtle.” I tell him, they take the turtle down and hand it to me, her hand went up and I place the turtle in her hands and she had a big smile on her face. Kenzi loves turtles.
“Thank you Rain, I love turtles and penguins.” She leans into me and kisses my cheek.
“Really I didn’t know about the penguins, but I remember you liking turtles.”
“Yes I do penguins are cute and they mate with one person for the rest of their lives, I also have a turtle tattoo.” She says softly.
“Where is that tattoo at?” I ask with my eyebrow raised.
“Sorry Rain, you’re just going to have to find it.” She says with a smirk. Fuck me.
“You my cupcake are a tease.”
“You have no idea.” God she is really killing me right now. Kenzi intertwined our fingers with a mischievous smirk on her face and all I want to do is kiss her senseless and find that damn tattoo. We walk back to my bike after an hour of walking around the fair.
“I was thinking that I should stay at my place tonight.” I turn my head to look at her, she doesn’t look scared, but I’m still worried.
“Are you sure you want to do that? You can stay with me.”
“I’m sure I think I need to at least try staying at my place before doing anything.”
“Okay I’ll take you home. Just remember you do have the keys to our place and you can call me anytime.” She smiles at me while shaking her keys near my face. I got on my bike and felt her arms wrap around me, I rather stay with her. I understand this is something she needs to do for herself. Riding up her drive way I felt her arms get a little tighter, I rub her hand in support hoping that she knows that I’m here for her no matter what. When she gets to the door she slowly opens the door, she turns around showing a small smile.
“I had fun tonight. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I lean in and kiss her, her arms went around my neck as she pulls me closer and I deepen the kiss. She pulls back with a bright smile.
“Goodnight Rain.”
“Goodnight Cupcake.” I will make her mine very soon even if it kills me. She is everything I always wanted and knowing that she is in my reach I won’t let her go.
Kenzi
Sitting in my office I’m very exhausted. I have been sleeping in my own place for the last three days and sleeping is not going well at all.I sleep for a few hours, the most is four hours. I don’t think I’m comfortable sleeping on my own anymore. Tessa walks in my office and when she sees my face she frowns.
“Sweetie have you been sleeping?” She asks with a concerned tone.
“A little, not much though.”
“Come back home then, you don’t need to stay in that apartment any more.”
“I will be fine Tessa.” She crosses her arms, she is seeing through my bullshit from a mile away.
“Do I have to call Devin? It seems like you will only listen to him.”
“Please don’t tell Devin he’s worried about me enough.”
“For a good reason Kenzi, it looks like you haven’t slept in days.”
“Tessa I will be fine, I do need to catch up on this new manuscript.” She nods her head as she walks out of my office. I sigh and dive back into this new manuscript. Halfway through my door opens, I look up and Devin does not look happy at all. Here we go, I told her not to call him.
“When was the last time you slept through the night Kenzi?”
“Devin, I'm fine.”
“Bullshit when a woman says she's fine she's is definitely not fine and you look like you haven't slept in days.” God I hate that he is good figuring us girls out.
“Talk to me Kenzi.” I sigh.
“I haven't slept through the night since I went back to my place.” Devin runs his hands through his hair.
“That's it you are moving back home this weekend and don't try to fight me on this because you will not win. I'll bring the guys over, we are packing your shit and you’re coming home where you belong end of story.” I cross my arms and sigh.
“Alright Devin you win.” He walks over to me and kisses the top of my head.
“You know I’m just looking out for you right.”
“Yeah, I know and I love you for it.”
“I love you too, you’re staying at my place.”
“Not tonight. Before you say anything it’s just so I can pack something that I don’t want you boys seeing.”
“Alright I’ll let that slide this time.” I roll my eyes and smile up at him.
“How was your date with Rain? I’ve been a little busy to ask before.”
“It was really good, I had a great time.”
“Good I’m glad it went well. Babies are in your near future.” I roll my eyes with a smile I couldn’t hide it all even though I tried.
“I will talk to you later. I have somethings to take care of.”
“Is everything okay?” I ask concerned.
“Everything is all good, don’t worry.”
When I got home it was late, since I was behind in work I stayed longer to catch up and I’m now all caught up thank god. I lay down and close my eyes and drift into the darkness.
Hearing a gunshot I look around the room and see a pool of blood on the floor. I walk closer to the blood and see my brother’s body covered in blood. I drop to my knees and grab him and rock him back in forth as I sob.
I wake in a jolt not able to breathe, I grab my stuffed turtle and squeeze it as I try to catch my breath. I get off my bed, grab my keys and leave the house. I drive to the boys house. My heart is still pounding hard, it’s been awhile since I had a dream of my brother’s death. The fact that his death anniversary is coming up is no surprise. I’ve been jumpy and having panic attacks so much lately. I unlock the front door than locked it up when I got inside. I quietly walk into Rain’s room, I put my stuffed turtle on a chair in his room before climbing into his bed. I put my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat and it relaxes me. I feel him move.
“Kenzi what’s wrong?” He say with a concerned tone as he slowly sits up.
“I had a bad dream that caused a panic attack.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Okay.” Rain wraps his arms around me and I lean into his arms, I feel safe and protected, I don’t want to move from this spot ever.
“Get some rest cupcake.” I nuzzle into his body and drift off to a peaceful sleep. When I wake up Devin was sitting in a chair watching over me.
“Good morning Devin.”
“Good afternoon Kenzi.” I turn my head and it’s one in the afternoon. Holy shit, I can’t believe I slept this long.
“Are you ready to talk about Trent?” Hearing his name makes me tense and Devin notices it.
“I’ll take that as a no. Kenzi, I’m not going to push it but you need to talk to someone so you can start healing, you don’t have to talk to me but I would love it if you did.” Devin gets up to leave and he looks worried.
“Devin.”
“Yeah Kenzi.”
“I can’t talk about it right now, but soon.”
“Okay, I’m going to keep you to that. By the way we already started packing your stuff.”
“Of course you did.” Devin laughs as he was leaving the room.
It’s Monday morning, I dread this week so damn much I call work and tell them I have the flu so I will be out all week. Now I have to come up with some lie to tell Rain. I hate that I’m lying to him but I’m just not ready to talk about Benjamin just yet.
“Hey Rain, can we talk?”
“Yeah is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I am going to be gone for a few days for work.”
“Alright just keep in touch.”
“Will do.” Rain leans in and kisses me softly. I feel good in that moment then I remember why I just lied to him. I live with him now so it’s not like I can just leave without him noticing. I grab my car keys gave the kids a kiss before I leave Taking a deep breath, then I start my car and drive towards the lake. I hide my car in the woods where the lake is at. I walk up to Benjamin and Nicki’s grave, I notice the flowers and two stuffed animals. Dalson and Paul were here. I went into my pocket took out two brackets and place it on there graves.
“Hey Nicki, you have a little brother now his name is Sam. You would have been a great big sister to Melissa and Sam I just know it. Benjamin, you would be happy to know that I have fallen in love just like you wanted me to. His name is Rain and here’s the kicker he’s a Scorpion go figure. I just have one little problem I’m scared to tell him about our past, he has his own demons and he doesn’t share it with me. I just don’t know what to do I wish you were here to help me, I miss you so much. I need your help Benjamin, what should I do?” Wind came out of nowhere with leaves flying around me, tears started running down my face and I smile. The wind stops and I see a circle of leaves.
“I got your message Benjamin thank you.” When we were kids every time I was in a predicament he always put me in a circle of leaves and would tell me that I know what I want I just need to for it. If he was alive right he would to the same thing and tell me it’s time to heal big sister. It is time for us to heal I’m not going to let those bastards win. I lay down on the ground and fall asleep.
Hearing my phone buzz, I wake up I grab my phone and saw Rain’s name.
Rain- Hey cupcake hope everything is going well with your work stuff.
I hate that I lied to him, this week is just not a good week for me or Erika. She should be coming down here in a few days. I put my phone down without messaging him back, I just don’t want to talk to anybody right now. I take off my clothes and head into the lake, one day I will bring Rain up here he’s going to love it here. Nobody knows about this secret lake besides the family. The water feels nice and warm. Benjamin lov
ed this place he came here more than anything. This was the one place we all ran to when we wanted to get away from everything and everyone especially the Devil’s compound. It wasn’t always safe like it is now, it used to be a horrible place that you could never run from. The place made us miserable but Erika, Dalson and Paul made it fun to be stuck there. Even though back then it was a nightmare, we had each other and that what got us through all the dark times we went through. If it wasn’t for this family that I have I don’t know what I would’ve become without them. I need my family to help get through my darkness and the fact that they never left my side meant the world to me. I get out of the lake and put my clothes back on. Benjamin would’ve loved Rain and I wish he could see how well the MC is now that Dalson and Paul are in charge. He would be proud of the boys. I sit back at the grave.
Rain (The Scorpion MC Series Book 4) Page 3
