“Then how can it be wrong?” she repeated, leaning up and pressing her mouth to his. She nipped at his bottom lip, tugging it down before licking it with her tongue, darting little laps over the fleshy pad. When he sighed, she slipped her tongue inside, taking pleasure in the glory of the moment, in the connection she'd feared lost, as his began to tangle with hers.
His hand slid up over her waist, coming to a halt at the side of her breast. He squeezed, before moving his palm around to cup the generous mound. She moaned into his mouth as he began to ply the globe, seeking the nipple with his fingers, teasing it and taunting it in ways only Harden and Evan knew how. They were the only men who had had ever been able to ignite passion in her. The only men capable of setting her body alight with an all-encompassing need that she knew was infinite.
She gasped into his mouth at his knowing touch, then pulled away, and with less than a hairsbreadth from his lips, whispered, “I want to see you and Harden together.”
He moaned, then shook his head. “No, no, Bella. Don’t...”
“Don’t what? Talk about a fantasy of mine?”
“Don’t go there,” he warned, his mouth turning away from hers and seeking the sharp jut of her cheekbone instead. “You’re so lovely, Bella, my beauty,” he murmured, tone softening. “My love.”
“You and Harden are beautiful,” she immediately countered. “Can you imagine what you’ll look like together? Kissing? Hard mouths against hard mouths...hard hands against hard chests, strong fists around thick cocks?” She didn’t have to fake her shudder, or the moan of longing that escaped her. “Oh, God, I’d love to see it, Evan, I’d love to watch you. Both of you, together, like that.” A genuine whimper fluttered from her soul.
“How can you?” he groaned. “Aren’t you jealous?”
She shook her head. “Will you loving Harden more and in a different way affect how much you love me?”
“N-No,” he stuttered, sounding completely alien to the Evan she knew and loved. Her Evan was strong, forceful and decisive. This Evan was uncertain, wavering between what he thought was wrong, what he believed was right...and even though he staggered between the morality of his desires, they were just that. Desire. A need.
He craved Harden in that way, she could feel it in the faint quivers running through his body. When she talked about her fantasies, of the two touching, she felt his cock pulse against her, his hips rock a little harder into her own. He wanted this, more than he even realized, probably because he’d buried it all away, hoping that it would just stop.
But such powerful feelings never disappeared, never dissipated. Hell, she knew that. Hadn’t she learned it herself when these two had started dating her? She’d fought her need for the pair of them, but that need had never gone away. Never would, either.
“Harden says the same thing, love. Your love for me is different to your love for him. And vice versa. Baby, the relationship we live in is wrong according to the world, according to your dad...what made you break his strictures, challenge his mores to live with Harden and I? And why doesn’t it extend to this?” Even as she asked, she sensed the answer. It hurt a little, she wouldn’t lie. Blowing out a breath, she whispered, “Unless, you figured this was a way to be closer to him yet still feel straight? Is that all I am to you, all our relationship is to you? Just a front?”
When she tried to pull away from him, he grabbed her against his chest and tightened his arms around her back. His hips pushed into hers and he gritted out, “Does that feel like a front? If I weren’t straight, if I were gay and just here because of Harden, do you think my cock would feel like a fucking steel pike? No, of course not. I love you. For you, you daft mare. How the hell could you even question that?” he finished hoarsely. “This...what we have...is because Harden and I couldn’t do without you, and the only way we could both have you, and not have one of us miss out and forever destroy our friendship, is to share you. It was a goddamn compromise. It wasn’t a perfect choice for either of us, we were just fortunate that despite your angelic appearance, your tastes in the bedroom veer toward the kink.”
She snorted at that. “Kink is relative,” she told him stoutly.
He huffed. “Only you could say that, especially when you get off on having your pussy double stuffed!”
Just the mere memory had her pushing into him, her body arching against his. If she’d been a cat, she’d have purred. “And you both fill me so perfectly,” she murmured, tone thickened by her desire.
“Exactly. We do,” he told her earnestly. “At first, we didn’t know how this would all work out, or if it even would. But we all just seemed to fit. It just worked out, even though it shouldn’t have...by rights, we should have fallen apart.”
“Instead, we’re stronger than we ever were, at least, that is until you started keeping things from me.”
His voice was hoarse. “You think I could tell you about that? You think I could tell the woman I loved, the woman who eventually I want to have my kids, that the idea of sex with my best friend made my cock react like I’d OD’d on Viagra?” He shook his head. “I have guts, baby, but not that many.”
She stilled at that, his comment regarding children had her eyes widening in surprise—neither man had ever mentioned having kids with her. Something inside her unraveled, a tight knot of deep anxiety slowly broke apart at the revelation.
Neither man had attempted to marry her, she didn’t wear a ring. They’d never mentioned kids, and a part of her had always wondered if what they had, was marred with an expiration date. She’d wondered if she was just a fad, a phase, a kink that needed to be worked out of their system. She’d figured these last months had been the beginning of the end.
With that one casual reference, he’d taken all that anxiety away and made her realize one thing. She needed to grow some balls with these two. She was a doormat, whatever Evan or Harden said. That needed to change. Now.
Amazing, wasn’t it, how her first confrontation with them had made this particular secret spill forth?
Apparently, they needed her to boss them around. A role she was quite willing to accept. “Do you really want children with me?” she asked, her voice shaken.
His black scowl was visible in the moonlight peering down at them. “Of course. I don’t know when,” he countered. “But kids have to be in the distant future.”
She huffed. “What do you mean, ‘of course’? Did I miss some kind of memo or something?”
“Calm down, Bella. I reckon, even if I never really thought about it, I always intended us to have a family, but I think it's really important that we're all settled. With me in LA most of the goddamn time, Harden flitting from coast to coast, this subject has just never come up before. But it would have done eventually.”
“How eventually? Were you ever going to let me in on the secret?”
He sounded flabbergasted. “I thought you’d realize too. It’s what you do, isn’t it? Have children with the woman you love?”
She blinked at the simplicity imbued into that statement, and let her irritation at his presumption drift away. It wasn’t that she minded them thinking about having kids together—hell, that made her goddamn day—it was the fact they’d kept it from her, thinking she was completely aware of their desire for a family, and all the while, she’d been worrying her ass off, wondering if they were getting tired of her.
Hell, it was about time she started using her fucking voice. This vacation alone had proven that if she didn’t poke her nose in, she didn’t learn shit.
Not anymore.
This curious cat was going to get her men back, as well as the answers she needed to get them all back on track!
“Yeah, I guess you do have kids when you’re with the person you love. But I want to know why you hid from your need to be with Harden?”
“Shit, don’t phrase it like that.”
“Why not? What else is it?”
He blew out a breath, then raised a hand to scrub the back of his neck. “I don�
��t know, but it isn’t some grand love affair.”
She rolled her eyes. “Then what is it?”
“I’m telling you I don’t know.” He paused, relented enough to say, “Curiosity?”
“Did you experiment in college?”
His strident tone had her cocking a brow. “No!”
“What? Never?”
He rubbed the back of his neck again. “Not with guys.” He scowled. “Did you experiment with women?”
She grinned. “Just the once, enough to know I’m more of a cock person than a pussy one.”
“Right on target, considering you’re greedy and want two.”
Her grin grew a little wider. “You got that right, baby. And now, I want it all.” She leaned into him, resting her hands against his chest, wanting to close her eyes at the steady beat of his heart. “I want to watch you and Harden so damn badly. If you touched my pussy, you’d see how badly I mean it.”
He blew out a breath. “Don’t bamboozle me with dirty talk.”
She blinked up at him, trying to look as innocent as possible. “What on Earth do you mean?”
Evan grunted. “Now I know you’re bamboozling me.”
“Is it working?”
He sighed. “A little.”
“Good. I want it to, because I’m not lying. If I get to watch you guys fucking, I think it would be like dying and going to heaven. What do I have to do to make it happen?”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“How can I tempt you? Remember when I wanted you both in my pussy, I staged that whole scene with the massages, and we were all slippy and slick the first time we did it. Tell me what I have to do to make you experiment.”
“Don’t pressure me, Bella.”
“What? Like you don’t pressure me, not a teeny bit, with your puppy dog eyes, when you want to tie me to the bed and stick that goddamn torture device on my clit?”
He grunted. “That’s different.”
“Is it? Really? Do you know how much trust that takes? To let you both do what you want to me? It isn’t easy, bud. Plus, that fucking Hitachi...you’re a sick bastard with it, Evan. You either make me come and come until I think I’m going to die, or you turn it off when you know I’m an inch away from orgasm.”
His somber face lightened a tad at her words. His smug grin made her slap her hand against his chest, and he outright chuckled at her gentle attack. “You don’t complain afterward.”
“I’m too busy trying to remember how to breathe!”
“I consider it a job well done, then.”
“Uh-huh,” she commented wryly. “But you get my point? That isn’t my kink, and still, I let you do it. I thought we were always supposed to come to each other if there was something we needed in the bedroom?”
He spluttered, “You’re using the ‘rule’ against me?”
She grinned. “Oh yeah. With no remorse.”
“We made that rule in our first month together.”
“So? It still counts.”
“Shit. It does?”
She laughed. “Yup. Sorry, hon.”
“Dammit.”
“You just have to try it once, that’s the rule, right? Just the once, and if you like it, we do it again, if not, you never have to. I’ve never brought it up before because I didn’t want to freak you out, but now I know this...well, I’m putting in the request.” He licked his lips, and she murmured, “The first time Harden wanted to come on my face, the idea repulsed me. I hated it. I felt like I was in a porn movie. And then, the first time he did it, it changed. Because it wasn’t some anonymous porn star, it was Harden, it was his cum. When it landed on my face, I felt like I belonged to him, somehow. I felt like he’d marked me as his.
“And the first time you tied me to the bed, I was petrified. I trusted you. Both of you, even that early on, but knowing that I’d have no say in anything, scared the life out of me. The first time is always hard, and baby, the truth of it is...you want this even more than I do. Your cock is so hard, and if what we were talking about repulsed you, then it would be limp. Your male physiology is working against you, sweetheart.”
He leaned down, pressed his forehead to hers. She knew she had to be careful, because she didn’t want him to feel forced into this...maybe, a little coerced. Yeah, coerced was a better word.
She felt his breath brush her lips, the scent of him fill her nostrils. Around her, the scent of the world as it cooled down from the deep heat of the day perfumed the air. The trees relaxed, and the plants, too, adding the most delicious verdant tinge to the atmosphere.
At her back, the sun had slipped beneath the equator, to be replaced with a heavy, pendulous moon. It glowed and played with the contours of Evan’s face, darkening his scowls, augmenting the pout of his lips. From below, they could hear the light bustle of the hotel as it came alive at night. The distant clatter of knives and forks as the guests dined in one of the many restaurants, the faint splashes at the pool as someone took advantage of the heated water...it was a simple moment, the sounds those of daily living, and yet, she felt more at peace than she had done for a while.
Her men loved her, and they would continue to do so. They wanted her to be the mother of their children. She was secure in her role as their partner, more so than she’d ever been. And all of these revelations had come from this one situation.
She wanted Evan to feel the same peace, the same sense of soul-deep calm. And if it meant twisting his arm, just a little, then she’d do it. Bella just didn’t want him to resent her for it.
But he wouldn’t, right?
With the wood he was sporting at the moment, he could have hammered a nail into the tile under their feet! He was harder than hell, and even though this conversation disturbed him, he was turned on. That had to mean something, didn’t it?
He let out a sigh, a long low one. She left him to his thoughts, content to be embraced by him, to be so close. It felt like a goddamn age since they’d hugged. Since they’d had a moment to just be. She didn’t want to push it, felt no need to. It was up to him now.
Another sigh came and went, followed by two more, before he eventually whispered, “If I do this, I want you to be a part of it.”
Excitement fizzled in her blood like the finest champagne. She dampened it down, told herself to stay calm, and not to ruin the moment. “Of course. If you thought I wasn’t going to be part of it, then you’re so wrong it’s not funny.”
He snorted. “I want to be inside you if he’s inside me.”
She cocked a brow. “Agreed. What else? Whatever you want, baby.”
He gulped. “If I’m in him, I want you to suck his dick at the same time. I want you to suck my balls, tease me. I want to know you’re there. I want to feel you. If I feel, at any time, that you’re pulling away, that it isn’t turning you on, then I stop. We don’t go any further.”
Bella frowned. “I have zero problem with this, love, but while this is a fantasy of mine, I want you to want this, to need it. Otherwise, it’s no fun.”
His exhalation was shaky. “That’s what freaks me out more than anything, sweetheart. I know I will, I’ve been wanting this for what feels like forever, but started about ten years ago. Ever since...”
“Ever since?”
“You know Harden and I went to the same college, right?”
“Of course. I know you knew each other before you moved to the UK, but you reconnected back at university.”
“Harden...I knew he’d slept with a couple of guys. I overheard one of them talking to a friend about him, and what they did together. I don’t think I’d ever been so jealous in all my life. Not until I met you, and I was terrified I’d lose you to him. Before you, though, I wanted Harden so badly.” He sucked in a breath. “I was in a diner, sat in the booth behind this guy and his friend, listening to the details. I had a boner, the first public one since I was fucking fifteen. Everything he said, every question his friend asked he answered, and it just opened my eyes. I wanted
to be him, I wanted Harden to do those things to me.
“And it sickened me. Shamed me. It was wrong on so many levels, especially considering how close Harden and I were. We were closer than friends, more like brothers. I felt like a pervert.” He paused, obviously lost in his thoughts for the moment.
“That’s bullshit, Evan,” she murmured. “You’re not brothers. You might have used that to try and detract from your need, but you’re not. Whatever we do tonight isn’t perverted, and it isn’t wrong. Nothing you could ever do with us is wrong if we all want it. Do you understand me?”
He nodded, his shaky breath washing over her lips. “You’re right. It was an excuse. So yeah, I want this. I’ve wanted it for a long time, baby, but I won’t let this come between you and me. If, at any point, you start to feel creeped out, I want you to stop. Do you hear me?”
“Oh, darling,” she whispered, eyes pricking with tears at his desire to protect her, even from her own needs. “I love you, so much. Nothing you could do, could disturb me, or stop me from loving you. Nothing. Haven’t you learned by now that I get off on this stuff?” She smiled, the twitch of her lips cheeky. “Like you said, I might look like an angel, all blond hair and blue eyes, but I’m really not.”
Evan laughed, for once, sounding totally carefree. Like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, and maybe, just maybe, it had. “Thank God for that!”
She grinned, then pulled away from him. Grabbing his hand, she led him to the patio doors that headed into the bedroom. “Come on, I want to love you. Properly.”
He tilted his head to the side. “You don’t want to do this right away?”
Bella shook her head. “We have all the time in the world.”
Chapter Four
She pushed him onto the bed as soon as they reached the bedroom. The heavy mattress bounced with his weight, and she grinned as she stripped out of her shorts, leaving just her panties on, then sank to her knees in front of him. Her eyebrows wagged as she murmured, “I’m hungry.”
Three's Never a Crowd [The Corsakis Hotel 1] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 6
