“So your mother is going to find out why you were drawn to me? Even though I’m not a wolfman?” I tried a new word because werewolf didn’t really fit neither did wolf but what I saw was more wolf than man. Long claws and sharp teeth on a face with a long snout and fur covering every inch of his skin. I had a feeling it was a look that would haunt my nightmares.
He nodded. “Mostly we just say shifter.”
“Your parents want to find your match.”
He cupped my face in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. “I’ve already found her.” He kissed me and I finally understood exactly what I had seen in his eyes on the back porch. The fear that made an appearance was because of me.
And not because he thought I’d tell someone.
He was afraid I’d leave. That he’d lose me.
I melted against his touch, knowing I’d never be able to resist him because I didn’t want to. I lost myself in him. Making me feel as if we were the only two people in the world.
However, it proved too difficult to get all of it out of my mind.
Orin was supposed to marry a shifter. He was supposed to find one of his own kind.
Yet he found me.
I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell that meant.
Chapter Seventeen
Orin barely left the house over the next couple of days, which was unusual.
I was always home except when I had my cooking lessons or a rare outing to the market. I received a letter from Olivia while she was on her honeymoon telling me that I’d been right about the things I said at her reception which made me smile. At the very least I knew Charles was being nice to her.
More than nice if I read her letter correctly.
Sometimes I thought about how different things would’ve been if I had married Noah as intended. I would’ve been pregnant within the first year and probably the next year then once I produced enough heirs to satisfy his father, he would’ve left me alone.
Instead, I had Orin. A man as beautiful inside as he was on the outside. A man who seemed to honestly love me the way I used to think my father probably loved my mother.
Only I had something else altogether hanging over my head.
Something I just didn’t understand.
“Hey,” he said softly kneeling down beside me as I sat in the chair at his desk. “Are you all right?”
I nodded and tried to give him a little smile.
He didn’t believe me.
“What were you thinking about just now?”
I took a moment before answering him. I knew I’d never lie. I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t happy with him or in our house.
“How different things would’ve been if I never met you.”
He swallowed so hard, his Adam’s apple pushing out forcefully. “Would it be better?”
“That’s not what I meant. If I hadn’t met you things would be horrible.” Tears burned my eyes as the hard truth hit my heart. “I don’t think there was a time in my life I’ve ever been truly happy. Until you.”
“Even though I’m a wild animal?” He smirked up at me which just brought a big smile to my face.
“I especially like that part even if I don’t understand it.”
Orin laughed at my double entendre then pulled me into a kiss. Soft and slow as if telling me how he felt without words. I’d only spoken the truth.
Yes, I was somewhat freaked out about what he turned into but part of that also made him strong, fierce and willing to protect me. I couldn’t deny that.
“But I do have some questions,” I said once he pulled back.
“I’ve just been waiting for you to be ready to ask.”
Orin pulled me to my feet. After a quick stop in the kitchen for lemonade, he led me out to the back porch where we sat next to each other on the swing.
I curled up on there and the wood structure protested against his added weight. We sat sipping our drinks silently for a good long while, enjoying the evening air while I tried to put into words, the thoughts in my head.
“Lizzie, if you’re trying to drive me insane it’s working,” he said while gently running his hand down the back of my head.
“Sorry,” I said turning sideways toward him with my knees pulled to my chest.
Without the worry and pressure that came from living in my father’s house, I’d started to become the girl I always wanted to be.
I never would’ve left the house without shoes on before but here I sat on the porch with bare feet. All in the name of comfort—a word that hadn’t been part of my vocabulary in my previous life.
“Did you… I’m not quite sure how to say it. Did you turn into the wolf when… ” I looked at him for confirmation which he gave me with a small nod. “When you were with Noah?”
“Yes.” He paused and sighed. “My anger took over. Luckily I was able to drag him away before the transformation was complete. That way no one else saw me.”
“Is that something you worry about? Someone seeing you?”
He let out a long breath, took his hand and placed it on the back of my foot then pulled gently to straighten my legs across his lap. He ran a hand up and down my calf. It was sweet and soothing, probably the reason he did it.
“I used to only worry about you finding out. I assumed you’d find me hideous and run in the other direction. Even before when I knew you’d be someone else’s wife, I didn’t want you to recoil at the sight of me. That would have broken my heart.”
“When you’re in your other form, can you control it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you still you? If you became a wolf in front of me would you attack me? Would you know it’s me?”
The hand on my foot paused.
“I’m still me in every way, Elizabeth,” he answered quietly. “I’d know you’re you. I wouldn’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you.”
“How is it you’re so open with your feelings? Most men aren’t in my experience.”
“Men who have them are, Lizzie. I don’t think you’ve been around many of those. But my people are much more casual. We love our wives and we let them know by telling them and showing them.”
I had to try to keep a smile from taking over my face. He had shown me over and over.
“Why haven’t you gone into the woods since I found out?” Unless he did it as I slept, which I didn’t think was the case.
“Haven’t wanted to leave you. I’ve been worried.”
A raised eyebrow kept him talking.
“It’s a really big thing you saw and I’m worried that it’ll finally sink in and you’ll be gone when I get back. And I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”
“Do I… do I have to worry when you’re like that? Am I safe?” I asked. He’d already said he’d know it was me and he wouldn’t hurt me but I needed that reassurance.
“You’re completely safe. You don’t have to worry. When I’m like that I’m still me. I still think like me and that means I think of you.”
“I want to see you.”
Immediately his head began to shake but I wasn’t about to take no for an answer.
“Yes. You want me to be here with you then I have the right to know what this is all about. You’ve never hidden anything else. You shouldn’t hide this either.”
The last part convinced him. He hadn’t wanted to keep anything from me even when he had his secret. I watched him wrestle with telling me the truth even then. He wouldn’t deny me now.
“Are you sure? Baby, I don’t want to scare you.”
The pet name caused tiny bumps to break out over my skin making it impossible to speak so I nodded instead.
“Ok. If you get scared, tell me. I’ll change back.”
Orin stood to his full height and began unbuttoning his shirt. For a moment I forgot that he would have to get naked to make this happen. I’d seen or heard rather, his clothing ripping away from his body when he argued with his father. He tossed his shirt on the end of the swing then popped the butto
n on his pants. My eyes fixated on his fingers.
Not even his deep chuckle distracted me.
“There are other ways we could spend the evening.” His voice was low and hungry but not for food.
I snapped my gaze to his face quickly.
He shrugged and said, “Maybe later.”
Definitely later.
Orin closed his eyes. His skin darkened but everything happened so quickly that I couldn’t be sure what I saw. So many questions popped into my head. Did it hurt when he changed being the first. My skin prickled with the energy coming from him.
His nails grew, hair formed. Then standing before me was something that looked like the kind of wolf animal you would see in wild but standing on its hind two legs over six feet just like human Orin. Hair prickled out of every pore of his skin.
I stood and stumbled back two steps.
He looked nothing like my Orin.
Except for the eyes.
Those belonged to the man I loved, my husband. Given the shape of his jaw, I didn’t think he could talk so I didn’t ask before I moved closer and reached out to him.
My hand touched his… paw then slid up his arm touching the soft fur. Before I got to his shoulder, his fur disappeared and my hand rested against regular human skin again.
Without a word, Orin scooped me up in his arms and carried me back through the screen door. His mouth was hot against mine, scorching his way down my neck as his hand grabbed each side of my blouse and yanked it open.
Buttons spilled across the floor at the same time my skirt got hiked up to my waist. In one swift movement, Orin was inside me, my body wedged between him and the wall.
This was a new side of him. I had to assume the animal side. Normally, we made love tenderly, slowly. Orin liked to take his time to enjoy me, he said and to teach me when necessary.
Not this time.
He was rough and dirty yet somehow it turned me on more than ever. He wanted me… needed me and I wanted him.
His thrusts pushed me hard against the wall. I’d never enjoyed pain before but this… this I enjoyed.
Not long after we started, my world exploded in stars and pleasure. Orin stopped moving and held me there while I put the pieces of my soul back together. I didn’t think my legs would hold me yet.
I dropped my forehead against his as my breath coming out in loud embarrassing huffs and I reveled in the fact that he’d wanted me so badly we couldn’t make it upstairs to our bedroom.
“You all right?” he asked after dropping small kiss across my forehead.
I nodded because I couldn’t speak. Orin let me slide down his body, still holding on to me. I tried to pull my blouse back together then remembered that I’d need to sew all the buttons back on.
“Sorry about your top.” He smirked over at me looking anything but sorry. “I couldn’t help myself. Lizzie, when you touched me.” He blew out a slow breath. “I’ve never felt anything like that before. I had to have you.” Orin didn’t care that he stood there talking to me while completely naked. He wasn’t self-conscious ever.
“Sorry?” The word came out rough and like a question because I still hadn’t gotten my sea legs back.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” He shook his head. “But we’ll need to remember this in case you decide to touch me while I’m like that again.”
“Then this will happen?”
He nodded making me smile widely.
“I’ll definitely remember that.” Looking away from his face for the first time since our encounter, I needed a moment to regain my composure. “Did you want to go out to… run or whatever it is you do out there?”
“You wouldn’t mind? It’s been a few days so it would feel really good.”
I shook my head because I had some clean-up to do anyway starting with a new shirt.
“I’ll be back in a bit.” He kissed me again, longingly full on the lips then headed outside.
I watched him until he hit the edge of the trees and disappeared inside never turning, at least until he was out of my line of sight.
Trying to work quickly, I picked up as many buttons as I could find then went to my room for a completely new outfit and still didn’t put any shoes on. I chose another skirt and a top without buttons because this had become my favorite for comfort. Gone were the restrictive clothing of my father’s house, corset included, but that took some getting used to as did the much shorter hemline. It fell right below my knees.
At first, I’d felt exposed.
After all that, I returned back outside to the swing, curled up on it to wait for Orin to return. My eyelids grew heavy but I was powerless to do anything about it.
“Lizzie.” Orin’s voice broke through the sleepy haze that had engulfed me. “Lizzie,” he said again gently.
I opened my eyes slowly and found it much darker than the last time I’d had a look around. I remembered deciding to wait for Orin to come back from his outing but didn’t remember nodding off.
“How long have I been asleep?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I’ve been gone a couple of hours.”
When I sat up, I saw that he’d put his pants back on but not his shirt and I decided that this was how he should always be. Well, he could lose the pants as well.
Then I chastised myself.
I’d turned into the most inappropriate kind of girl in such a short amount of time. The kind of girl that would send my father into a tirade. The kind of girl that I found I liked. And why shouldn’t I be that girl as long as Orin didn’t mind?
“How about we go out, get dinner.”
Sounded perfect to me and my stomach grumbled as if on cue.
The town came alive at night and for the first time, I could witness it. A lot of people my age were out on these ‘dates’ Orin told me about. Cavorting with a sense of freedom that I didn’t even know existed until the day I left my father’s house to elope.
They laughed and talked loudly, not seeming to care who heard them as they made their way down the street to the theater or restaurant or speakeasy. I used to envy people like that.
Now I was one of them.
With the night being so beautiful, I convinced Orin we should walk into town. As we made our way down Main Street Mr. Jackson stopped us to talk to Orin. But I saw Olivia walking toward us. She didn’t see me and she was about to turn the corner when I excused myself to catch up with her. It’d been too long since we last talked.
“Olivia!” I called out right before she entered the drug store.
A big smile broke across her face when she saw it was me. We took a step to the side so we wouldn’t be in the way.
“It’s been too long,” she said as she hugged me tightly. “How are you?”
The fact that Olivia never shunned me, regardless of what others thought was why she had always been my best friend.
“Wow. You look so stylish,” I said.
She’d cut her hair into a fashionable bob and her clothes had transformed into the drop waist, straight lined frock that all the girls were wearing. I’d let go of some of the more restrictive items, such as the corset, but had yet to embrace items that didn’t follow the natural line of my body even if it meant having new clothes altered.
I was stuck somewhere between the old world and the new without knowing which way I ultimately wanted to go. Orin liked how I looked so I wasn’t in a rush to make a change.
“And you’re beautiful as always. Life with Orin is agreeing with you,” she said with a smile.
We talked and laughed for a few minutes like old times when she said she had to go before she was late meeting Charles. But we promised to meet for lunch soon. I didn’t want to lose her friendship because we now had different lives.
When I turned to head back to Orin I smacked into a tall suited man and stumbled several steps so I didn’t fall.
My father looked down on me like I was some sort of street urchin that dared approach him. Which was how he’d alway
s regarded me. At that moment I wondered what jaded him so badly. Was it just my mother’s death or something else that blackened his spirit? I’d never know and I shouldn’t have even cared.
Without saying anything to him, I tried to push past him but his voice stopped me.
“Elizabeth.” His words dripped with the same coldness I heard my entire life.
I turned to him slowly.
“At the very least your husband keeps his word.” He meant the money Orin had promised.
“I’m glad I was worth something to you. Was my mother?” I almost wished I could swallow those words. Yet this new found boldness felt good.
“You have no right to speak of your mother.” He took a large step closer then looked away from me to something behind me. His jaw tightened and his eyes turned hard.
I knew Orin was standing behind me without looking just from the change in my father’s demeanor.
“You’re the reason she’s dead.”
Chapter Eighteen
I was almost able to forget that Orin could turn into a werewolf.
A shifter.
A person who shifted into an animal.
While I wanted to convince myself I’d put it to the back of my mind, it wasn’t true.
Something about his already strong body morphing into something even stronger warmed me. Even the thought of watching him turn flushed my body with excited anticipation which made me squeeze my legs together that much tighter.
It wasn’t a coincidence that each time I witnessed him change, we ended up needing to be with each other so badly that he’d rip my top open causing buttons to fly everywhere.
Which led me to need some new items. I’d begun teaching myself to mend the clothing myself but I was slow, my fingers not quite nimble enough and I didn’t want the seamstress in town to become suspicious.
My cheeks blushed at the thought of him tearing the dress in my hands off my body. I immediately put it back on the rack.
“Elizabeth, there you are.” Orin came toward me breathlessly.
There was something wrong. Very wrong. He tipped his hand by the way he held himself taut and on alert as well as the tone of his voice.
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