by Rudy Yuly
Jolie snapped to attention. “What did he say?”
“He said he touched Eddie and he was afraid he was going to hit him or something.”
“Errgh. That’s definitely one side of the story. Tell me the truth Tracy: what do you think of Mark?”
“He’s okay. If you like Mormons.”
“Right.”
“I know he’s got a major crush on you.”
“What’s your real take on him?”
Tracy laughed as they dumped their buckets into the composter. “I only have one method of finding that out and I wouldn’t recommend it.”
“Yeah, well I’m trying to resist it, myself.”
“Girlfriend, don’t settle. You could get anyone you want.”
Look, Trace, keep an eye out for Eddie today. And if he does show up here, keep him away from Mark and get him to me, okay?”
“Sure thing birthday girl. Anything you want. And tonight I am going to get you drunk enough that you stop worrying about everything.”
“I’m not worrying,” Jolie said. “Just a little. It’s not really worry, though. It’s something else. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”
Jolie debated over giving Joe a call, just to check in. But she didn’t want Mark giving her any more grief, and she didn’t want guarded, easily flustered Joe to feel that she was being pushy or nosy. And strangely—very strangely—Jolie couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever he was doing with his day, Eddie was fine. She didn’t know how she knew it, but she did.
The morning drifted by quickly. Lunch was a blur. The afternoon was over before she knew it. Jolie worked automatically and fluidly. All was well with the animals. Their routines and hers melded into a simple comforting dance. Jolie felt as if she was outside of her body, watching herself move through the day in a dream. The sensation was odd, but not at all unpleasant.
As much as she liked Tracy, their dinner and drinks date was another off note in her thoughts. Knowing Tracy, there’d be a whole group of people there. Which would probably include Mark. And lots of loud talk, and too much to drink. Normally it would all be fine. But what Jolie really craved was a nice glass of wine, a good book, and a quiet uneventful evening all alone at home.
Still, she felt lighthearted when she pulled up in front of her house. She’d rally, and the dinner would be fun. She’d come home as early as possible. One of the benefits of having a Monday birthday was that everyone had to go to work the next day.
Jolie’s coupe was crowded with balloons. As she got out of the car, a red one escaped into the sky. She followed it with her eyes until it disappeared in the high distance.
There was a purple envelope in her mailbox from an old friend. Jolie was carrying an armload of things and trying to read the card as she jangled her keys out of her pocket. She didn’t notice the broken windowpane next to the front door.
Inside, she set the balloons free and dumped her things on a chair. She looked around and took two steps, then stopped, confused. Her home looked totally different than it had when she’d left it.
She walked slowly into the kitchen, looking left and right. It was spotless. She’d never seen her home looking like this, not even on the day she moved in. She felt a twinge of fear, but it shifted quickly to pure confusion. The place was clean. Absolutely pristine.
Then it came to her: her friends must have hired a cleaning service. All day long Mark kept telling her every chance he got—in passing, thank goodness—that they had a birthday surprise for her, but she hadn’t expected anything like this. How did they get in, though?
Then it hit her. Tracy knew where Jolie kept her spare key. Jolie’s sloppiness was something of a standing joke at work. Mark must have found out about the key from Tracy. God, the place looks really amazing.
The thought lasted only a moment. Although she liked the transformation—it really was amazing how much difference it made—a sudden wave of realization that Mark had found a way to get someone inside her place washed Jolie with a cold feeling. He was trying too hard, and she needed to say something. Jolie dialed his number. She got his voice mail.
“Mark,” she said, carefully choosing her words, “I think I just got the surprise you were telling me about. I have to admit I’m a little shocked. My house does look wonderful. Really clean. But I’m really not comfortable getting this kind of gift. I appreciate the thought, I really do…” Jolie paused, unsure how to continue. “Um…maybe we should talk about this tomorrow, okay?” she finally said, then rang off. I’ll have to find a new place to hide that key.
She sighed, decided to put it out of her head for now. Right now she had to get ready. Tracy and her boyfriend would be coming to pick her up in less than an hour. She headed to the bathroom and opened the door, eager to get out of her frumpy brown uniform and step into what she was hoping would be a freshly scrubbed shower.
Instead, she nearly stumbled into Eddie. He was on his hands and knees in his underwear, kneepads, socks, and sneakers, spraying Shiny Gold and scrubbing away like mad at the toilet.
Jolie nearly screamed, but she raised her fist to her mouth and it came out more like a muffled “eek.” Her eyes went wide and her heart began pumping wildly. She was more confused than ever. Had Mark hired Eddie to do the cleaning? That was impossible, unless it was some kind of horribly sick joke. And why is he in his underwear?
Eddie didn’t react to the scream, except to stand up and turn around. His face was as calm as a child’s.
“Happy birthday, Jolie Walker,” he said.
Jolie still had her cell phone in her hand, and she instinctively dialed 911. The operator answered, and Jolie hesitated.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I accidentally dialed.”
“What is your location?”
“I—I’m driving. I’m sorry, I just hit wrong speed dial.”
“You shouldn’t be driving and dialing, Ma’am. What is your name, please?”
“Jolie. Jolie Walker.”
“And everything’s alright.”
“Yes. Yes, I’m sorry.”
The operator disconnected
Jolie looked at Eddie, standing there quietly in his underwear in her sparkling clean bathroom. He looked back at her. At her shoulder, anyway.
He didn’t say anything more. Jolie couldn’t seem to move or speak. Her breath was shallow and quick, but as she looked at Eddie, standing there peacefully, she found her panic unexpectedly, warmly enveloped by a sensation that was still, comfortable, and intimate. Although it made no sense at all, while it lasted the entire bizarre situation seemed like the most normal thing in the world. As safe and ordinary as walking with Eddie around the zoo. She forced herself to take a few deep breaths.
“Eddie, did you clean my whole place?”
“Uh-huh. Okay.”
“Who…Eddie, who’s idea was this?”
“Happy birthday, Jolie Walker.”
Then she knew. Eddie was doing this for her birthday.
“Was this your idea, Eddie?”
“Uh-huh. Okay.”
“You figured this out all by yourself?”
“Uh-huh. Okay.”
“Does anybody, anybody at all, know you’re here?”
He didn’t answer.
“Eddie, you need to answer me. Right now.”
“Just me.”
“Why are you in your underwear, Eddie?”
Eddie glanced down, then began rubbing his head with his hand. “Man-sized mess.”
Jolie took another deep breath and held it for a moment before she spoke. “Eddie, is this what you wear when you clean?”
No answer.
“Answer me, please. Is this what you always wear?”
“Uh-huh. Don’t tell Joe, okay?”
“You clean crime scenes in your underwear.”
“Uh-huh. Okay. I need to finish.” Eddie turned, knelt at the toilet, and went back to scrubbing.
He scrubbed fast. Jolie stared at him. His skin was pale and clear, and she found her
self momentarily hypnotized by the sight of the lean muscles in his broad back rhythmically rolling and flexing.
Oh shit. “Um, all right then.” She backed out of the bathroom and gently closed the door, then put her ear to it. The toilet flushed, and Jolie stood up straight, flustered. She needed to take control of the situation immediately, before all contact with reality was completely dissolved.
Half in a daze, she propped a kitchen chair under the bathroom doorknob to lock Eddie in. The chair was more for appearance’s sake than anything else, even though no one was watching her.
Forcing herself to focus, she scrounged around her desk for one of the business cards Eddie had given her. Poor stress-mess Joe must be losing it by this time.
LaVonne picked up on the first ring.
It threw Jolie off a bit to hear a woman’s voice. Maybe she’d dialed a wrong number. “Is Joe Jones there?”
“No,” LaVonne said, “he’s out looking for his brother.”
Eddie started tapping at the bathroom door. Apparently, he had finished cleaning. He wanted out. No time to waste.
“Tell him Eddie’s on his way home,” Jolie hurried. “He’ll be there soon.” She hung up. She’d explain later. Right now, she needed to get Eddie safely away—without upsetting him—before Tracy showed up. She didn’t want him to get into trouble for doing this.
Jolie quickly dialed another number. “Just a minute, Eddie!” she said loudly. “I’ll be right there. When a voice picked up, she said into the phone, “I need a cab. Can you send one right over?”
Inside the bathroom, Eddie tapped and tapped at the door.
Jolie flipped her phone shut. She walked over to the bathroom door and leaned forward. “Eddie,” she said clearly, “I need you to stop knocking and wait patiently, all right?” The tapping stopped. “Put on your clothes, okay? You need to get dressed and get ready to go home.”
There was no answer.
“Eddie? You need to do what I say, all right?”
“Uh-huh,” Eddie said. “Okay.”
As soon as the young-sounding woman hung up, LaVonne called Joe. “Somebody just called and said Eddie was on his way home,” she said.
“What?”
“Eddie’s on his way home.”
“Okay, I’ll be right there,” Joe sounded as if he was in shock. “Who was it?”
“They didn’t say.”
Joe hung up. “What in the hell?” His tires squealed as he pulled a U-turn.
It didn’t take long for the cab to arrive. Even though she felt no fear of Eddie, Jolie was going to play his exit exactly by the book. She stood in the doorway and motioned the driver up to the house.
“I need you to wait here for a few minutes,” she said.
“Meter’s running,” the driver replied.
“That’s fine.” She walked back into the house and knocked briskly on the bathroom door. “Eddie!”
“Uh-huh. Okay.”
“You dressed?”
“Uh-huh. Okay.”
“It’s time for you to go now.”
A minute later, Eddie walked out the front door, carrying his canvas bag. Jolie followed close behind him.
“Can you wait in the cab, please?” Jolie asked the driver, who was standing just outside the door, looking curiously at the two of them.
“Whatever.” The man looked slightly miffed.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Jolie turned to Eddie. “I need you to listen to me carefully, Eddie. Will you do that?”
“Uh-huh. Okay.”
“You should not have come into my house.”
Eddie heard the words but couldn’t process them immediately. He felt himself freezing up slightly. He needed to be clear. “Happy birthday, Jolie Walker.” He looked back toward the house and rubbed the back of his head.
“I know, Eddie.” Jolie hoped for eye contact. “I know exactly what you were trying to do, and it’s wonderful in a lot of ways.” She meant it.
Eddie stopped rubbing his head. “I know.”
“But you have to understand. What you did is not okay. I almost called 911.”
Eddie wasn’t sure what she meant. “Nine-one-one,” he said.
“It’s how you call for help when you’re scared. It’s how you call the police. You scared me, Eddie.”
That hit Eddie hard. He sensed nothing like fear coming from Jolie, and yet she was saying she was scared. Was she telling the truth? Couldn’t she see that he only wanted to give her a gift? The best gift he had? If she was scared of him, or wasn’t scared but couldn’t tell the truth about it, they were miles apart. He had thought they were so close to communicating, to understanding.
He had a lot to learn about women, he knew, but this was painfully familiar territory: the kind of confusing, backward, disconnected stuff ordinary people talked about all the time.
It came to him, with an unpleasant thump, thatt Jolie had discovered one of his most important secrets. He wasn’t working in the proper gear. Would she tell Joe? Then something else—something stronger—revealed itself, like a curtain being pulled back in his head. There was fear lurking, somewhere near. Eddie could sense it. Jolie’s speaking its name had made it rise up, vague but real and menacing.
He looked over Jolie’s shoulder, and there was Lucy Silver, standing behind her and looking at him accusingly. Her lips didn’t move, but her voice rang in his ears.
“That’s what happened to me,” she said. “Someone came into my house and hurting me. You’re not supposed to come into people’s houses. People get hurt. People get scared. You scared her. You’re supposed to be helping me. You have to find out why. You have to make the catch. Look in your pocket.”
Eddie rubbed his head harder. Too much disturbing information was coming at him, way too fast.
“I need you to promise me you’ll never come into my house without permission again,” Jolie went on. Tracy would be here soon. It was important to get Eddie on his way as quickly as possible.
The sound of Jolie’s voice seemed to be coming from miles away.
“Promise,” she said.
Eddie hesitated. You never know where a promise might lead. Had he promised Lucy Silver?
“Please, you have to promise me that you’ll never come in my house again. Promise me, Eddie. Right now.”
“Uh-huh,” Eddie said, looking at the sky. “Okay.”
Jolie stared hard at him, waiting quietly for something. Was she doing the right thing? She had no idea.
“Okay, Eddie,” she said finally. “I believe you. I’m going to trust you.”
The realization of what he had done began to crash down around Eddie. Not the important thing he had meant to do, but the thing in the real, cold, blind world. He was stupid about this kind of stuff. He could never sit down and work out the ordinary details correctly––especially when he was as inspired as he’d been today.
He had gone into Jolie’s house. He hadn’t asked her permission, the way you were supposed to before you went into someone’s house. He hadn’t suited up properly. She was telling him she was upset. Maybe there was some truth to what Lucy Silver was saying. Eddie did things sometimes without knowing what he was doing. He hadn’t felt that way today, but look what was happening. For the first time since that morning, Eddie thought of Joe and how angry and hurt he was going to be. Things were falling apart fast.
He rubbed his head faster. “Don’t tell Joe. Don’t tell Joe.” Lucy was still there, smirking at him. He realized he would have to look in his pocket soon.
Jolie hesitated and looked at him with concern. A huge part of her wanted nothing more than to acknowledge that she simply felt good about getting his amazing gift, and even appreciated the brave effort it must have taken to make it happen. And maybe more. But it was too far out. Her heart hurt for Eddie. The world wasn’t a safe place for him.
“Please try to stop rubbing your head, Eddie,” she said, gently.
It was a strain, but Eddie managed to stop.
“Thank you.”
“I’ll think about it. But right now I’m sending you home. Your poor brother is probably worried sick. Come on.”
She walked to the cab and opened the back door, then gave the driver forty dollars in cash and read the address off the Sparkle Cleaners card. “Please make sure he gets in the house,” she told him. “Keep the change.”
She leaned down and looked in the cab’s open back door. Now that Eddie was safely inside, she allowed herself a touch of regret for sending him off. It might have been nice to share a quiet cup of tea with such a peaceful, thoughtful man in her sparkling clean home. Heck, he even does housework. The thought made her laugh out loud. Never going to happen, she thought, shaking her head. The whole situation was making her feel crazy. And picturing Eddie as a houseguest was the craziest thought that had popped into her head in a long time. Maybe in another world. Not this one.
“Buckle up, Eddie.” She was still chuckling, but tears were welling in her eyes.
“Uh-huh. Okay,” Eddie said. “Am I stupid?” He looked down.
“No, Eddie,” Jolie said, deeply serious. “I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing because I feel happy. But I shouldn’t be. You’re a good guy, but you have to listen to me. You have to promise never to go into anyone’s house without permission again—especially mine. Promise me. Never.”
Eddie was reluctant. His word was his bond, and giving it was a big deal. Was Jolie really going to make him make the same promise twice? There was something painfully agitating about that. Eddie’s head was buzzing loudly, clouding his judgment. But when it got right down to it, there was no way he could deny Jolie anything she wanted. No matter what it might cost him.
“Uh-huh. Okay.”
“Okay. Remember, I’m trusting you. I know you’ll do the right thing. And thanks for cleaning up my mess. Sincerely. It’s a special gift.”
Jolie forgot and put her hand on Eddie’s knee before she shut the door and the cab drove off.
He went stiff with pain.
The cab had driven nearly a block before he was able to look at his throbbing burning knee. There it was: a bloody handprint.
“Nine-one-one,” Eddie said quietly.
