Big Sound Temple

by Ben Stevens

When is start get dark outside I also start worry. I think may be Bad Boy come to my house for to again beat up me. Japan very safe country but it still have the person like Bad Boy. Sometime is certain I see him again and then I worry what happen.

  I try tell my self that I have to help Sakura but this no use. Because of what Bad Boy say about how she only go out with me because of my money.

  I think soon I ask Sakura for all money. Also tell estate agent office that I not live at apartment. I not want spend all my life alway have to worry. Even if because of the beautiful woman.

  It about ten clock in evening when I get message on my phone. I surprise to see it from Wendy Williams. She ask how I am. She say she worry.

  I think is kind of her for to send the message. I send reply. I write that I am OK and I say thank you.

  Then another message come from Wendy. I not really understand what it mean. It say if I feel lonely I can alway visit her. It say she is friend.

  I think she have sweet smell when she send message. I also think she more lonely person than me.

  I still feel ill next day. I wear mask at work.

  I in temple office when I see priest. He say good morning to me then talk to one of temple office woman.

  Priest look little irritate. He ask why she arrange service in temple hall for family of dead person without ask him first. Because priest have to take this service.

  He say he already arrange for to be some where else and now have to change plan. Usual priest calm even if big problem but recent he look lot more stress.

  Office woman bow and say she very sorry. Priest just nod head and leave.

  Today I busy clean all wood corridor and tatami mat in temple. Then is accident. There is small area with carpet outside back of temple hall near man and woman toilet.

  I use bucket of water for to clean inside window when I knock bucket of water over. It spill on carpet. I quickly get towel and newspaper for to take water from carpet. But I think it take may be two day for to get proper dry now.

  Priest come and ask me what happen.

  I tell him accident and say I very sorry. Before priest may be just say no problem not worry.

  But now he say ‘Please to be more careful Hiro san.’

  I feel shame and say sorry again. Priest nod head and go. I think he look more thin than before. Not look so very handsome man any more. I wonder if all his problem because of temple.

  It Saturday morning just before work when Sakura phone.

  This time she not have the heavy mouth. She say someone tell her what happen with me and Bad Boy on Wednesday night. She ask if I OK.

  I say ‘Who tell you what happen?’

  There is short silence before she say ‘My friend Midori who also live in apartment.’

  I say ‘How she know?’

  There is more short silence.

  Then Sakura say ‘Why you be like this Hiro?’ She say ‘I am worry for you.’

  I think may be I am behave like child. Then I again remember what Bad Boy say. I mean about why Sakura go out with me.

  I say ‘Sakura I tire of what is happen.’ I say ‘Is alway problem with you.’

  Sakura again silent. This time I have to say her name for to check she still on phone. Then I think I hear her start cry.

  Sakura say ‘Please Hiro do not end relationship.’ She say ‘I need you in life.’

  I not able to think any more. Many emotion in my heart. I still think I love Sakura very much. May be Bad Boy just tell me lie. Everything so complicate.

  I say ‘I call you later.’ I say ‘Good bye.’

  I end call. I think will be late for work if not hurry. Also I think I hear man voice whisper just before I end call with Sakura.

  But not sure. May be all stress is just affect my mind.

  I still sick Sunday so spend most of day lie on futon.

  It very heavy rain on Monday. Roof leak outside woman toilet by back of temple hall. Also is other leak in dojo.

  I use bucket for leak and make note for to call builder man. But I not think temple have money for to fix leak. It very complicate job which mean builder man have to take off part of roof. My father sometime do this job but he not able to teach me before he die.

  Next day I use net for to get many fall leaf out of koi pond. Koi with no tail swim very well. Before koi with no tail swim on own. But now it seem have again be accept by other koi.

  I look at tree up on mountain. Now many tree leaf is turn red because of the autumn. Look very beautiful.

  People who look after family tomb on mountain burn small pile of leaf inside family tomb. Is smell of smoke in air.

  I still worry about old man with horse smile. I mean who I before see burn the leaf on mountain path. Because I think he is still do this even though I say please to stop. Because it very danger.

  On Wednesday I go see Wendy for lesson. But I think I know what she ask me at start and I not wrong.

  We sit at table and she say ‘What was all that about last week Hiro?’

  For moment I think like sorry but not your business. Then I think I want tell Wendy. I almost surprise for to realise this. But she help me before and also I just want talk. I alway feel relax when with Wendy so no problem.

  So I say something about Sakura. I not say about very personal thing. But talk about general apartment problem and trouble with the Bad Boy.

  Wendy look at me but not say any thing. Is not the sweet smell today. She look serious.

  When I finish Wendy reach over table and touch me on hand. Foreign person much more easy for to show emotion than Japanese.

  She say ‘You very nice young man Hiro.’ She say ‘But other people not so nice.’ She say ‘You have to be careful you not get use.’

  I say ‘Sorry not know what use word mean here.’

  Wendy explain. So I know she mean because I say to Sakura I pay for some rent for apartment.

  But now I not think Sakura person who really want to use the other person for thing like money. Not like Bad Boy and Wendy say. I just think Sakura very confuse person who not really know what she do.

  Then I ask question about last week lesson.

  Wendy smile and say ‘OK change of topic I understand.’

  We study some English.

  I pay for lesson and Wendy walk with me to door.

  Then she say surprise thing. She say ‘I am meet some friend in little while.’ She say ‘Would you like come?’

  I think she ask because she think I lonely.

  I say ‘Sorry but I busy later.’

  Wendy give the shrug of shoulder and say ‘OK some other time.’ She say ‘If you change your mind we be in bar call Zigzag.’

  I know this bar. I have see it sign so know strange name is all the one word. It mean like line that is not straight. It near bar where I drink when Bad Boy come with his friend.

  So Zigzag is what is call the gaijin bar. This mean many foreign people drink there. Not so many Japanese. Just Japanese woman who like the foreign man may be. Also young Japanese who think is cool to be drink with the foreign people.

  Zigzag have reputation of sometime drug and fight. I not want go there. But I wonder if this is place where Wendy meet the Japanese man who give her the flowers.

  I say good bye to Wendy and walk home. I almost at door when message on phone come from Sakura.

  It say she want see me. She say she want to meet at the karaoke bar call Lady First on Friday at eight thirty clock. Where we go for first date with two of her friend.

  I send message back that say OK. But I not write I look forward.

  It start get more cold now in evening. Also get dark more quick than just a few week before. I wish I wear jacket as I wait for Sakura outside Lady First.

  I am not surprise when Sakura come just the few minute before nine clock. Also not surprise that she have three friend with her. But this time two friend are men.

  Other friend is young woman who have come with her to Lady First before. I mean when was my and Sa
kura first date. This friend is one who smoke the many cigarette and make my eye hurt in karaoke room.

  I think this friend is the one who is call Midori. Who live with Sakura in nice apartment I pay rent for. (I not say before but Midori actual mean green in Japanese. It common name for girl.)

  This time Sakura say she sorry for to be late. She introduce friend she bring with her. I am correct about who her young woman friend is.

  Sakura give name of two men. I forget their name quick. Just give them nod of my head. Not bow or shake the hand. I not pretend I happy for to see them.

  I think they about my age. They have long hair that is die brown and orange. Both wear the tight white suit and the shiny long shoe. They have many silver and gold ring on finger.

  They look like man who wait at night in Shianbashi for the young woman. Is their job to find the young woman to work in expensive bar. I mean woman who look attractive and can light cigarette of male customer and make them drink more alcohol.

  I not think their job is good one. I not happy in my mind that Sakura know man like this.

  The two man give me nod of head back. One man say something I not able to hear to his friend and friend laugh.

  I feel sudden anger. I say word which mean like sorry but I not hear what you say. Like I know what man tell his friend is about me.

  Sakura quick say ‘It cold let go inside.’

  I pay for just me and Sakura. I see her friend Midori is pay for two man. This not good thing. In Japan man should alway pay when go out with the woman.

  Also two man not say thank you. Just smoke the cigarette and try look cool.

  We go in karaoke room and order drink. (Drink is order by use phone in room to bar.) I sit next to Sakura and not say any thing. Want to show that I not happy this evening.

  Midori choose song and sing. Her voice not nice but two man start say that she may become the pop star. This make Midori look very happy.

  One man start sit more near to her on sofa. He say ‘I know important man who have record label in Tokyo.’ He say ‘I introduce you and you make the song.’

  Sakura move away from me a little. She excite say ‘Is my turn sing now!’

  She choose song of style like what Midori choose. She is sing when drink come. I take tray from woman at door say thank you and put tray on table in room. Other people take their drink but I not touch my beer. Not feel like alcohol this evening.

  When Sakura is finish two man say word which mean like this is amaze. But I think Sakura is even worse at sing than Midori. One time I by accident stand on tail of cat in temple. Cat make noise like how Sakura sing.

  But Sakura look very happy because of what two man say. They talk more about important person they know in Tokyo. They now say they work for him sometime. Say is their job to find attractive new young woman singer.

  I say ‘Please to show me your card.’

  I say this because in Japan is common for person who work for company to carry the business card. They often give card even if just introduce them self to other person when meet in bar.

  Two man give me look I not like. Look say ‘Please just to go home and leave us with girl.’

  One man say ‘Sorry not have any card left.’

  Other man say ‘Because recent we meet lot of nice young woman who sing.’

  Midori and Sakura laugh like is joke. But their eye have look which say they think two man can help make them famous singer.

  I to men say ‘Why not you sing song?’

  Two man give smile that is not smile and say ‘We not sing.’ Say ‘Just find good singer.’

  One man say ‘Why not you sing song?’ He again give stupid smile like what he say is just joke.

  I say ‘Thank you but I not beautiful young woman so I think you not be interest.’

  Sakura quiet say ‘Hiro!’ Like she tell me not for to be rude.

  But I not care.

  Two man not look to care either. Just smile and to Sakura and Midori say ‘Why not sing other song?’

  So they sing more song and men order more drink. Is still half hour left of two hour we book room for when I think to go. I have head ache from all the bad sing and my eye and throat hurt because of much cigarette smoke. I see now Sakura have start to smoke also.

  I stand up and quiet say good bye and leave room.

  I on street outside Lady First when I see Sakura follow behind me. I think she want apologise but then I see her eye very angry.

  Her voice loud as she say ‘Why you embarrass me like that?’ She say ‘What hell is your problem?’

  I try to calm down her. I gentle say ‘Sakura why you friend with man like that?’ I say ‘You know they not work for big Tokyo record company.’ I say ‘You know what their job is.’

  Sakura still angry. She push finger in my chest as she say ‘This my big chance!’ She say ‘I may be become the famous singer and you not want me for to be happy!’

  Sudden I feel more angry than I think in life before. I think now may be even what Bad Boy say before he beat up me was correct. Also what I think Wendy think. I think Sakura think I just stupid young chibi who she can use for the money.

  I not even realise I shout when I say ‘You never famous singer!’ I say ‘You not able to sing just sound like the injure cat!’

  Sakura is now look scare and step back away from me.

  But I just take step forward and say ‘Two man just say you good at sing because want take you and your friend for to love hotel!’

  Sakura shake her head like she feel big shock. She say ‘You are the mad man.’

  But she not have loud voice now. She sound like may be she start to cry. But I think she just pretend this. I not feel sorry for her like before.

  I finish by say ‘Sakura I want money for rent very soon.’ I say ‘Money for nice apartment you never let your boyfriend to visit.’

  I not shout now. I have normal voice to show I serious.

  Sakura cover her ear like she not want to hear and run back inside Lady First.

  I start walk away from Lady First when I see man and woman is look at me on other side of road.

  I still angry so I loud say ‘Is problem?’

  They stop look at me and walk quick away. Then I feel very ashame. Not like way I am behave. I am act like baka person now. If my father still alive he be disgust with me. Also may be two people I say this thing to recognise me even in dark as person who work at temple.

  So I think to get rent money from Sakura and then say we finish. To change contract at estate agent office so not me pay from my bank account but instead Sakura and friend. This will make problem end.

  But may be time first to see what Sakura is hide from me at apartment. To discover why I am never allow to visit. Because this is thing I still want for to know.

  On Saturday I use axe on wood for new year eve evening celebration.

  Much wood is store in place next to shed that is around side of temple. This wood come from tree that fall or cut down on mountain. I use axe for to cut each piece of wood in to four different piece that is about twelve inch long.

  This piece of wood is use for fire under old brick oven of big kitchen in temple. This oven cook the soup that is serve to guest who come to temple on new year eve evening.

  These guest ring big temple bell that is outside temple hall. This show they welcome in new year. It mean good luck.

  Priest and monk give the service in temple hall and guest have soup before leave. This soup just have the simple ingredient like the carrot and cabbage but is very tasty. Many people look forward for to drink the soup on new year eve evening.

  Priest wife Okaasan make the soup but is help by some other woman who come to temple. They wear hair in net and have the glove and mask. Is very clean prepare.

  It take most of day for to cut all wood that is need on new year eve. Last year about four hundred people come to temple and most want the soup. So much wood is burn for to make the soup.

  I use what is call the wheel
barrow to carry all wood for to put on big shelf near old brick oven that is inside temple kitchen.

  Have to concentrate lot on work because to use axe is sometime danger. One time my father by accident miss wood and axe cut his leg. Much pain and blood. So he have to go hospital again.

  Priest come see me when I work. He ask if everything OK.

  I not know what mean and just say yes. I think he look like want say something more.

  But then he just say word which mean like you do hard work and go.

  I worry about priest. He never look happy or relax. I think is many problem for to run temple. Okaasan sometime look stress but never all time like her husband.

  On Sunday I just much relax. I try not think or do very much. Sometime brain need rest just like the body. I almost success for to forget about all problem before.

  But then on Monday morning my mobile phone ring and my problem is start all over again.

  Phone call is from estate agent office. Phone ring when I busy clean inside of many big glass window in long corridor that is by side of temple hall.

  I speak to same woman who call before. I mean same woman who show me and Sakura apartment.

  Woman say ‘Please I send you letter why you not reply?’

  I not know what to say. Because estate agent woman think I live at apartment with Sakura.

  I think just have to tell the lie.

  So I say ‘Very sorry but recent I not live at apartment for private reason.’

  This sound like me and girlfriend have the problem in relationship. So I suppose not really lie anyway.

  Woman just say ‘Apartment is rent in your name and money is pay from your bank account.’ She say ‘I send letter because is more complain about noise from other people live in apartment building.’ Woman say ‘Letter warn you any more noise then sorry but you have to leave.’ She say ‘This morning I get more phone call from other people in apartment building to say is much noise like party all the weekend.’ She say ‘So very sorry but you have to leave apartment in next seven day.’

  Priest sudden walk past me when I on mobile phone. I have bucket of water on floor and small step ladder for to clean window in corridor. It not look good that I on phone when should be work.