by Ben Stevens
But priest just nod head at me and walk past. He look like he think about other thing. Not worry because temple janitor is on the phone.
But I to estate agent woman in loud voice say ‘Sorry but I now at work.’ I say ‘I have lunch break at twelve clock and I come to your office then.’
Woman say word which mean like I understand and then end the phone call.
I know now what I have to do. But first I need for to get key for apartment.
I go to estate agent office in my work lunch break.
To estate agent woman I say ‘Very sorry but I lose key.’ I say ‘Please may I have other one?’
Woman say ‘I sorry but is five thousand yen charge if lose key and need other one.’ Woman say ‘Is special security lock on door so key more expensive.’
There is nothing for to do but pay money and get key. I just happy that is spare key at estate agent office.
I not have much time because am on hour lunch break from temple. I have to be quick. But apartment not far from estate agent office.
Is not nice weather today. Sky is grey and is some cold rain. Already is some Christmas decoration in city street and shopping arcade.
Only few people in Japan is Christian but still have the Christmas decoration because of excite the children. Also bring more business to the shop.
I feel very nervous as I walk to apartment building. I think if I just ring bell or knock at apartment door then no answer. Even if someone in. Because is special hole in door that person inside can look through and see who is outside. I think if person inside see me then not open door.
But now I have key can just enter no problem. But I worry what I find. Also not really know what I do. But I worry for that problem when it come.
I enter apartment building and take elevator to five floor. I see my face in elevator mirror and see is some sweat. But sweat not because I hot.
I can hear music when elevator stop at five floor and I walk to apartment. I see now not even need key. Because front door of apartment is what is call a jar.
I think just for moment to knock then I say to my self to not be baka. Because this is my apartment. I pay rent. But I be quiet as I enter even though loud music is play from inside.
In genkan I first take off my shoe. I very shock for to see inside of apartment.
Curtain is close so not much light. But still enough to see there is much rubbish everywhere. I mean like empty can of beer on floor and many clothe like sock. Polish wood floor in hall now have some scratch mark. Also some scratch on wall.
I not believe what I see. I know now I not get deposit money back. There is also bad smell like old cigarette smoke and not fresh food and clothe.
I look in kitchen and dining room and see is many dirty plate and cup in sink. Empty tin on table and full ashtray and many cigarette packet.
Loud music is come from one of room which have tatami mat. Door is open but from where I stand I can see only little bit of room. But still enough to see that is cigarette burn on tatami mat.
Music is like what Sakura sing at karaoke. Then I hear like woman laugh. It sound like Sakura. Then I hear man voice laugh.
It feel like I in bad dream as I walk to room and enter inside.
Room is much mess. More clothe on floor. Difficult even to find space for the feet when walk.
There is bed by window that again have close curtain. Cover of bed all on floor.
Sakura is on bed with Bad Boy. Both man and woman not wear much clothe. Bad Boy is kiss Sakura on the stomach. Sakura laugh again then say Bad Boy real name like is the sex sigh.
I close my eye because not want to see more.
But then Sakura say ‘HIRO!’ in very loud voice. I mean like scream.
This make me open eye. Then I want close eye again because I see that Bad Boy have see me.
He say ‘Chibi!’ in the very gruff voice. He start to get up from bed.
His eye look like eye of very angry gorilla I one time see on nature program on TV. He have big arm muscle and many vein. He wear only pair of boxer short. (I mean Bad Boy not gorilla.) His stomach look like advert for the body build.
I sure this time that Bad Boy will kill me. I so scare I look for some defence thing. Because man like me not have chance against man like Bad Boy unless have some weapon.
Then I see lie on floor among many clothe and other rubbish is round smooth black and green piece of marble. It about big as my hand. It look like decoration or maybe is use for to put on piece of paper on top of table. I mean so thing like wind not blow piece of paper away.
I quick pick it up. I surprise how heavy it is.
Bad Boy now very near me! But then he see me hold marble object and he laugh.
I think Bad Boy is the real mad man. I mean because way his mood change so quick.
Bad Boy say ‘Chibi what you do with that?’ He say ‘Chibi you think that little thing hurt me or stop me break your arm?’
Bad Boy start laugh again. He still laugh when I throw marble object at his head.
Because I scare I throw with very much power. Marble object hit Bad Boy exact in middle of head above eye. I surprise to see some blood fly in air like in the horror movie.
Then Bad Boy face become all white and his eye roll back in head and he fall back onto bed. More blood come from head and he lie very still.
Sakura give more scream. Easy to hear even though is still music play.
She say ‘YOU KILL HIM!’ She call me very bad word which I not even know what mean in English. It not good word for woman to use whatever is situation.
I not able to think. I just say ‘Estate agent office say you have to leave apartment in seven day because of noise.’
Then I leave room like the robot. I leave apartment and take elevator down. I just think have to get back to temple because my lunch break is almost finish. Not able to think or do any more than this.
I think police find me at temple when come to arrest me for kill the Bad Boy. Everything is finish now. I wonder if I first temple janitor in Japan to go to the prison.
When I young boy Yamashita san teach me something. It about the fish make from wood that in Japanese is call mokugyo.
There are many mokugyo in temple hall. In front of seat and also long blue cushion call zabuton some people kneel on. The mokugyo are hit with thing like drum stick when the chant happen in temple service.
I before ask my father what wood fish mean. He say something like that the fish never sleep. Alway have eye open. So alway keep the watch.
But this for me is not the satisfy answer. Secret but I think my father not really know. Many Japanese not know much about Buddhist history and tradition even when they are the Buddhist.
So later I ask Yamashita san and he tell me this story.
Many year ago a Buddhist monk from China walk to India for to get the special Buddhist document. But on way he find his path block by wide river.
The monk walk up and down but not find the bridge or boat for to be able to cross the river.
So he sit down by side of river and say ‘Oh no what I do?’
Then sudden a magic fish appear. (It magic because it very big fish and also can talk the Chinese.)
Magic fish to monk say ‘If you get on my back I take you across river without you drown.’
So the monk say ‘Thank you’ and climb on fish back.
As the fish swim across river it tell the monk that in the life before it was human man. But when man it commit the bad crime and so the Buddha make him be born again as the fish.
The fish ask the monk to say special prayer for it so it not be born as fish again when it die this time.
Monk say ‘I say special prayer for you soon as when I get special document.’
The fish say thank you and the monk get off fish on other side of river. The monk take many more month for to find the temple where is keep the special document. Then he return to river but there is still no way for to cross river.
But as before fish s
udden appear. It say ‘Hello again please to climb on my back and I safe swim across water.’
The monk do this but when almost at middle of river the fish say ‘Do you say special prayer for me not to be again born as the fish?’
The monk say ‘Oh I very sorry but I forget.’
When hear this the fish become very angry. Fish in loud voice say ‘If you not help me then I not help you!’ Fish say ‘Get off my back!’ Fish make monk fall from it back in to water.
Water flow very fast and is very deep. Also monk not able to swim. So monk think I die!
But there is fisher man sit by side of river who see what happen. Fisher man have long rope. He to monk in loud voice say ‘Take end of rope!’
Fisher man throw end of rope to monk who hold it with hand. Fisherman able to pull monk to land without monk drown.
Monk say thank you to fisher man and continue with long walk back to China. But when he look at special document he have put inside of his robe he see that water have damage it. Cannot read what is write on document any more. The monk very angry and also is punish when he final get back to his own temple on Chinese mountain.
The monk find he feel better for to make fish from wood and hit it with the stick. When he hit wood fish he not feel so much anger.
But then the amaze thing happen. Monk discover that when he hit fish little bit of what was write on special document come out of fish mouth. It take some month but monk final have all what was write on special document before it get damage by the river water.
Because of this more fish are make from wood. In time wood fish not just in temple in China but also Korea and Japan and also other country in Asia. Because the wood fish have become special to history of Buddhism.
Yamashita san tell me many Buddhist story from when I young boy. Sometime they are complicate and I forget. But alway I remember story of mokugyo. One day I want tell my son or daughter this story.
On Wednesday I show Wendy Williams what I write about story of the mokugyo.
When Wendy finish read she look at me and lift eyebrow for to show the interest.
She say ‘You should write book Hiro.’
I say ‘Thank you but my English very bad.’
Wendy laugh and say ‘Well you certain have unique style.’
I again say thank you but not really know what this mean.
I say ‘What do story need for to make it the better English?’
Wendy give sigh like is think and say ‘Well thing like comma would be nice.’ She say ‘But we come to that in time.’
Of course I know what comma is. But not really know how for to use so is correct. Is more easy for me just to write sentence with no comma.
Then Wendy give me strange look. She say ‘Everything else OK?’
I know she mean about when she stop Bad Boy attack me in Shianbashi. Also may be about my relationship situation.
But I not want talk more about all these thing. So I quick say ‘Everything OK thank you.’
Wendy give me more strange look. Then she ask me to look at text about life of the New York police man. Because she know I interest in New York and people who live there.
I start to read but is difficult for to concentrate. Because I keep think about what happen on the Monday and also next day.
I not kill Bad Boy. I mean I not think I kill Bad Boy. Because no police man or detective come to temple for to arrest me. Also I not hear any thing from Sakura.
Just get phone call from woman at estate agent office on yesterday afternoon. She say someone call her to say door of apartment is now leave wide open. Person who call say they see many thing like the suitcase and some furniture be carry out of apartment and now think no one inside.
Woman at estate agent office ask if someone still live there or no.
I think quick. I tell her I see my girlfriend at apartment on Monday and say she have to leave in the seven day. I say me and my girlfriend have finish the relationship so I not have more contact with her.
When I say this I think I just surprise no one else in other apartment have complain or call police. I mean about all the scream and shout when was my fight with Bad Boy.
Woman ask me if I can go see apartment with her that same day. She say if no one live there any more she need to check condition of apartment before give some of my deposit back. (She say some deposit will be keep because of trouble cause by Sakura and friend.)
But I think estate agent woman have not see damage cause to apartment yet. I know I not get any money back. But I just want problem to be finish. I happy pay money for it to go away so is OK.
I say to woman can meet outside of apartment block at six thirty clock in evening. I mean after I finish work.
I go straight from temple to see apartment. No time for to change out of the blue work uniform.
I meet woman and we go up to apartment and then if possible I even more shock than before.
All clothe have gone but still much rubbish all inside apartment. Also someone have use what seem like knife for to scratch some message in wallpaper and also some on polish wood floor.
I mean was many scratch before but these now like word. They say thing like Hiro I hate you! Also Hiro you ruin my life! Also other word which I not like translate.
We go in bathroom and big mirror above sink have the long crack in it. Someone have use woman red lipstick for to draw picture of penis on mirror also. There are many roll of toilet paper block in toilet bowl.
In tatami room is many cigarette burn and in one room where Sakura and Bad Boy were on bed also some blood stain on tatami. (I sure blood come from when I throw the marble object at Bad Boy. But I not remember he make so much blood.)
Also there is many scratch in big metal sink and on tap in kitchen. Whole apartment smell very horrible. More bad than before. Like food is rot some where.
Estate agent woman look like she may be lose conscious. She seem to have trouble for to breath. She just keep say word which mean like I not believe what I see. I know how she feel.
Then she look at me. Her eye look like say what hell is this?
I give very deep bow. I say ‘I very sorry.’ I say ‘My girlfriend have the mental problem.’ I say ‘That is why I finish the relationship.’
I keep bow and look at floor for to show how sorry I am.
The woman just say ‘Please give me key you buy other day.’
I stop bow and give her key. Because I make sure for to bring key with me.
She say ‘I have not receive other two key back but anyway I want change all lock before new tenant come.’ She say ‘It obvious you not get deposit back.’ She say ‘But damage to apartment is much more than what deposit you pay.’ She say ‘We have own builder man he tell us for what work he need do and we tell you how much is cost.’ She say ‘I sorry but if you not pay in seven day we call police.’
I think why everything is seven day with this estate agent office? But of course I can only do what estate agent woman say. If police is call then I be in what in American movie is call the deep shit. May be I still be send to prison.
I sign all form for apartment so is all my problem. I not know where Sakura is and it no use anyway. I know she not pay any money.
I say ‘I understand.’
Estate agent woman say ‘I call you tomorrow.’ She get out mobile phone. As she dial number she say ‘Please go now.’
I go.
So this is thing I have to worry about while try and study the English. Also fact that today estate agent woman call me again while I at work. She say how much is damage to fix.
I think I not able to feel any more shock after all what happen. But still I almost drop mobile phone in block toilet I am try to fix when she say price. Because is more money than everything I have in bank.
I in the deep shit. I think am not able to pay but have to tell estate agent woman I bring all money to office before end of seven day no problem.
But she still again say if I not come then she call police
. She not joke about this.
I finish English lesson and say good bye to Wendy.
She walk with me to front door. She touch my arm and say ‘Good bye Hiro honey.’
It strange but is first time she say honey in today lesson. But I think I not smell the sweet smell today. She not look happy and tire at same time.
I say good bye and think about money problem as walk back to my house behind temple.
I think may be ask my bank for loan. But this not easy in Japan. Many question to answer like why need the money.
I think if say ‘Need money for to pay for damage to apartment cause by mental problem girlfriend’ then bank say very sorry but no.
May be I can say I need thing like new computer but I not very good at tell the lie. Alway touch my eye many time and start to sweat.
Then I think answer is obvious. I mean I not like to think of answer but it only way. I not have other choice.
My uncle have the loan company. His company not ask lot of question when give the money to people. And head of company is my father brother. I have his number of mobile phone. I can go to him straight and secret ask for money.
If uncle say no because of what happen to dog when I child then that is that.
But I very hope he say yes. Because if answer no then I finish.
On Thursday is my day off work. I take the deep breath and phone uncle number in morning.
I almost feel surprise when he quick answer.
I say ‘Hello uncle this is Hiro.’
He say ‘Who?’
I say ‘Your dead brother son Hiro.’
He say ‘Oh what you want?’
I take more deep breath and tell him I need see him for favour.
There is some silence. Then he sudden say ‘I am free two clock today for short time.’ He say ‘If you come my house that time I see you.’
I say ‘Thank you I be there.’
He say ‘OK’ and end call.
I now sure my uncle not lend me money. Because of what happen to his dog when I young boy.
But still I have to try. Like I say before is my only chance.
