Big Sound Temple

by Ben Stevens

  I of course not able to explain. Is secret Bad Boy Sakura and me keep now. It is thing that is best for all three of us. I mean for the three different reason.

  Group of builder man buy me two more beer. I try to buy them beer also but they just quick say ‘No no is OK.’

  After while builder man leave and bar man is busy for to serve other customer. A man age may be fifty come in bar with briefcase. He wear expensive look suit. He start talk to me about his work.

  I not understand and soon feel bore. I just want get drunk and not have this conversation. But man in suit buy me more beer.

  I try to buy him drink but he laugh and say ‘Young man need to save the money.’ But I not like way he say this. There is thing like arrogant in his voice which remind me of my uncle.

  Then man say ‘Let go to snack bar.’ He say ‘I pay.’

  But I not want go to place like that even if other person pay. And I not want go any where with man like this.

  So I quick say ‘Very sorry I have to now meet friend’ and I leave bar.

  I think where to go next. Not really know many other place.

  I walk more in to Shianbashi. It have many narrow street and alley. Easy for person to get loss if not know area. More woman hand out leaflet and ask if man want massage. This of course mean they offer the sex time.

  One salaryman is bend over and vomit in side of street. His three friend laugh and pat him on back. They all in black suit and have briefcase.

  Salaryman work very hard and this is like their relax time. There is police man walk along who not look very happy. I think he is just look forward to time he finish work.

  Because he ignore vomit salaryman and also young foreign man who sudden shout in my face. I not know what this foreign man say but he just walk away with his friend and laugh like he is very drunk. He is big and have the shave head like usual America soldier.

  There is many neon sign on side of building. Neon sign have name of bar or club. So many bar and club in Shianbashi.

  Some club or bar name Japanese but many use the English word. Because this make them seem more cool and also attract the foreign customer.

  Like one sign have name Flower. Another say LOVELY PLACE. There is Diamond Land and also Bar Granddad. Below Bar Granddad name on sign there is write the word Welcome even if Stranger. Here we Serve you plenty Cozy time and Intoxication.

  Then I look more up and see sign outside five floor of building that say Gentle Man. (Of course this name is mistake. It mean gentleman.)

  I sudden decide for to go to this bar. Not really know why but also not really care. Just want more cozy time and intoxication like is write on other sign. But I not want go place call Bar Granddad. Because even I know that is strange sound name.

  I enter building. It have narrow tile corridor that lead to elevator. There is also stair but I enter elevator. It very small. Can take may be maximum three people. It have smooth metal wall and old look carpet.

  I press button for five floor. Beside button for each floor is name of club or bar. All floor in this building have club or bar. No one live here.

  Elevator stop and I get out. There is again narrow corridor to door of Gentle Man. I walk and open door. Is music like jazz play inside. It quite dark. Some round table and chair and sofa. Some candle on table. It have nice relax feel.

  Gentle Man is more big than I think it be. Seem to be quite busy but because is little dark not really able to see face of person.

  There is bar on one side of room. Bar have blue light. It show the many bottle of drink in fridge and on shelf.

  Man behind bar is wear white shirt and bow tie. He have very short hair and also the moustache.

  He smile at me as I reach bar. He say ‘Your first time here?’

  I say ‘Yes.’ I say ‘Beer please.’

  He give me bottle of beer and say price. Is expensive but this is like proper bar. I mean not place where just stand and talk about baseball with builder man.

  I pay and he say ‘Please enjoy your evening.’

  I say thank you and find small empty table and sit down. My eye get more use to dark. I look at other customer. I start realise they are all man.

  One man see me look at him and smile. He walk over to my small table. He put hand on back of empty chair next to mine and say ‘OK if I sit here?’

  My mistake is obvious now. I wonder what for to do. I think best for to quick drink beer and go. But I not want seem rude.

  So no choice but to quiet say word which mean like please to man who want sit down. Then I think I pretend to be Korean or Chinese. So that I not speak very good Japanese and pretend like I not really know what I do. Act more drunk than I feel.

  But then sudden a voice behind me say ‘Hello Hiro san.’

  Man who want sit down say ‘Oh I sorry you already with someone’ and walk away.

  Man who say my name is then sit beside me. I look at him and blink my eye very hard. I look again but man face has not change. It is Yamashita san. I mean Yamashita san the monk from the temple.

  Of course he is now not dress like monk in black robe. Instead is wear nice look blue shirt. He take sip of drink that have lot of ice. He smoke the cigarette as he look at me with smile.

  He then say ‘Hiro san I not feel big surprise for to see you here.’ He say ‘I see you before with pretty girl but alway I think I know.’ He say ‘You not able to change who you are inside.’

  I try understand what Yamashita san is talk about. Then I remember he one time see me outside temple hall with Sakura. It was time when Sakura was very angry because she just see me talk to western woman call Jo. But still I not know what is mean when Yamashita say I not able to change what is inside.

  Yamashita san say ‘Japan still have some problem for to accept the gay man.’ He say ‘But still is so much better than when I young man.’

  Yamashita san sudden look little serious. I almost feel like surprise because usual he is alway just smile.

  Yamashita san say ‘When I young I have to pretend I am not gay man.’ He say ‘Then club like this very secret and often have problem from the politician and police.’ He say ‘No way I able to become monk if many person know I gay.’

  He smoke cigarette and shake head.

  He say ‘So I have to hide part of what I am.’ He say ‘This make me very sad but I just learn to smile more for to hide this.’

  Then Yamashita san pat my arm. It just friendly pat like he is offer support. He smile.

  He say ‘But enough of this depress talk.’ He say ‘Is much better now for young gay man like you.’ He say ‘Now can see the many gay man on thing like TV show and is just much more accept in society.’ He say ‘But what you do now is still brave thing and you have my respect.’

  I try say ‘Yamashita san this is mistake I not the gay man.’

  But just at that moment there is thing like loud trumpet solo start play over jazz music on speaker. So Yamashita san is not able to hear my voice.

  Then trumpet stop for moment and Yamashita san say ‘I have to go back to my friend.’

  He show with his hand three other man of different age sit at table may be ten feet away. They see and wave at me.

  Yamashita san stand up. He quick pat my shoulder.

  He say ‘But please come over and join us just for chat if you are not meet someone soon.’ Then he walk away.

  I try look relax but is very difficult. Another man come over and ask if he can sit down. I wish it was easy like this for to meet the nice woman.

  I say to man he can sit down but that I sorry I have to go.

  Man look disappoint. Say he hope to see me here again sometime.

  I say thank you. I also quick finish beer stand up and leave the club call Gentle Man.

  It is now almost midnight. Time alway seem go very fast when person is drink the alcohol.

  I stand outside in street and look up at sky. Is many star tonight. I see light of plane. I wonder where it is go.

  I think ho
w I want to go country like England and America. I worry now I not have enough money for to buy plane ticket. Because I soon lose temple job and whatever job I get next will give me less salary. Also now I have to do thing like pay rent for apartment.

  So tonight is not the success. I get drunk but still think about my problem.

  Then I feel shame. I imagine if man like my father was in same situation. I think he just work hard to find other well pay job. Because he have son to look after. Not have luxury to drink lot of alcohol and feel sorry for him self.

  So I think now I go home get sleep and start serious think about what to do tomorrow.

  I start walk when someone in loud voice say ‘Hiro!’

  I look around. It is Wendy Williams. She is walk with some other foreign people. One man and one woman.

  I say ‘Hello Wendy.’

  She laugh and hic cup. She grab my arm and kiss one of my cheek. I think she is quite drunk.

  She say ‘What are you do you dark horse?’

  I understand some of question.

  I say ‘I am go home.’

  She shake head. She say ‘No no.’ She say ‘Come with us for night cap.’

  I say ‘What is night cap?’

  I think cap is like thing Bad Boy and his friend wear in bar more early in evening.

  She say ‘Drink Hiro a drink.’ She say ‘We just finish karaoke and now go to Zigzag.’

  This is foreign bar she ask me for to go before. Bar that have reputation for drug and sometime fight.

  I about to say no thank you when sudden something stop me. I think Wendy before ask me for to drink with her and I say no.

  I think I go just this one time because I like Wendy. I just have one beer then say good night and go home.

  I say ‘OK.’

  Wendy smile and hic cup again.

  She say ‘Good I please you can come.’

  I not know exact way to Zigzag but I think it is near. It not matter anyway because Wendy and her friend know where it is. I just go with them.

  We walk when other woman say ‘Remember me?’

  There is of course much light from all bar on both side and also is street lamp. So I look more close at woman face and realise who she is.

  I say ‘Your name is Jo.’

  She clap hand like this make her happy.

  She say ‘You remember my name!’

  I think Jo is quite drunk.

  She say ‘I remember your name also Jiro.’

  I say ‘Very sorry my name is Hiro.’

  But I not think she is able to hear very well. Because in too excite voice she just say ‘Yes Jiro who work at temple and show me around.’ She say ‘I sorry Jiro san.’

  She say san more strong than other word.

  I not bother try correct her again. I just say ‘What are you do in Japan?’

  I say like polite question but I surprise for to see Jo again. She is obvious stay some month and not just some week like the normal holiday.

  Jo say ‘Oh I am just bum around.’ She say ‘No real plan.’

  I say ‘Oh I see’ but I not know what she mean.

  (I know bum is like rude word that mean person backside. So I wonder what bum around is mean. May be is better not to know.)

  On corner of street there is some stair inside building. Stair are red and white colour and is bright light above.

  Wendy say ‘Here we are’ and we go upstair.

  I worry what bar is like. I think it be dark and lot of cigarette smoke. Lot of foreign people stand around and too loud music.

  But we open door at top of stair and bar look very nice. It have shiny metal bar stool and picture of thing like baseball and American football player on wall.

  There is some music like rock play on stereo but it not loud. There is large TV hang from ceiling behind bar. It is show person who is ski. I think it is on sport channel.

  There is big black man behind bar counter. He see us come in and in the American accent say ‘Hey guy.’

  Wendy say ‘Hey Frank.’

  Frank say ‘What can I get you?’

  Wendy say ‘Two beer and a gin and tonic.’ She look at me and say ‘What you like to drink Hiro honey?’

  My stomach feel bit full from drink too much beer.

  So I say ‘Please I also like the gin and tonic please.’

  I now look at rest of bar. There is several table and chair. There are some other customer but not many. Now in one corner I see Sakura. She is sit with her friend Midori.

  They both look very beautiful tonight. They are talk to young foreign man who is wear a suit. I think his job is English teacher. He look very happy.

  I wonder if he ever have two beautiful young woman join his table in bar before. I also wonder if he know this thing only happen in Japan because he is young nice look foreign man.

  He is try to talk Japanese but he have very limit ability. So in baka sound voice he just keep say ‘Nihongo wa muzukashi ne!’ which basic mean Japanese is difficult.

  Every time he say this Sakura and her friend laugh. This is reason I think why he keep say it. Also Sakura and her friend keep say kakkoii which mean like he is cool and handsome.

  Sakura look over and see me look at her. But she just immediate look back at young foreign man and give him the nice smile. It like I not even here. Her friend Midori also look at me and face is sudden a little surprise. But she then also ignore me.

  Then Wendy is wave her hand in front of my face.

  She say ‘Hiro honey are we on planet Earth?’

  I see she is try to hand me my drink. I say sorry thank you and I take drink. I think I will buy next drink.

  We sit at table near bar. I hear Sakura laugh again but it like she is now laugh too loud. I think not to look at her again. If she want ignore me that is fine I able to do same thing. I really not care.

  The man who is with Wendy and Jo have some beard and is wear a blue cap which say FBI on front. I know FBI is like special police man in America but I not think he is member. Just wear cap for fashion.

  He hold out hand and say ‘Hi my name Tom we not meet yet.’

  I shake his hand and say ‘My name is Hiro very please for to meet you.’

  Tom say ‘So Hiro what you do for job?’

  I think quick. I say ‘I have the green thumb.’

  But then I see that Tom is just look confuse. He say ‘Green thumb?’ like he not know what I mean.

  Wendy take small drink of her gin and tonic and cough.

  She quiet say ‘Finger Hiro honey it green finger.’

  I remember now this is correct way to say thing that mean person is good at the garden work. I feel ashame and think may be Tom and Jo start laugh.

  But Tom just say ‘Oh right you mean you are gardener?’

  I say yes. I say where I work.

  I polite say ‘Please come visit.’ I say ‘All person welcome.’

  Jo to Tom say ‘Take Jiro up on his offer.’ She say ‘The temple is amaze place.’

  Tom nod head. He say thank you. He say ‘Might just do that I love all Japanese culture.’

  Then I see Wendy have almost finish her drink. Also Tom have almost finish his beer. They drink fast.

  I say ‘Please I get you drink.’

  Tom quick stand up. He say ‘No my shout what you want?’

  I understand that he want to buy drink. I want to insist no I get but I not really know him.

  So I say ‘Gin and tonic please.’

  But I still have half glass full on table. Have to be careful not to get sick from drink too much alcohol. Foreign people often able to drink much more than Japanese people.

  Tom come back from bar with drink. Four of us are sit around small table. Jo is sit opposite me and Wendy is on my right side and Tom is on my left side.

  I to Tom say ‘Are you on holiday here?’

  Tom say ‘Oh no I live here now six month.’ He say ‘I am teach baseball at Aoyama high school.’

  I am very happy for to hear t
his. We start talk about baseball. Tom know many thing about it.

  He say he was in baseball team call Chicago Diamondbacks but never able to become the full time professional. But then he one day get surprise offer for to come teach baseball at Japanese school.

  Tom not able to speak very good Japanese yet but he say is take lesson almost every day. We keep talk about baseball and I buy four more drink.

  Then Jo start say she feel ill. I think she is drink too much. I also think she and Tom are like boyfriend and girlfriend. Tom have to stand up and help Jo stand.

  He say ‘I help her get back.’ He to me and Jo say ‘I see you again.’

  Jo just wave her hand and say nonsense word. Tom almost have to carry her out of bar and down stair.

  So now is just me and Wendy at table. But some more foreign person and also a few Japanese have now come in bar. Bar is not very big so is look quite busy.

  Frank the man behind bar counter seem to know everyone who enter and talk with them while pour drink. He can speak the fluent Japanese. I not see any drug and no one is fight. There is relax atmosphere. I am total ignore Sakura and it not bother me.

  Also Wendy have move her chair more close to my chair and is put her hand on my leg. She is wear lot of perfume and her blond hair is very close to my face as she talk to me.

  This and alcohol is all make me feel like I have bit of light head. However I not mean that this is the bad feel.

  Wendy say ‘What were you do tonight before I see you then Hiro honey?’

  I make the shrug with shoulder.

  I say ‘I just meet with friend for few drink on Saturday night.’

  Wendy say ‘Hiro I worry for you.’

  She pat my leg with her hand. Her hand is close to area that cause me to feel very embarrass if she touch. But I think Wendy is drunk so not realise this.

  She say ‘You so thin.’ She say ‘Please tell me you are not still see that girl.’ She say ‘That one you tell me about before.’

  This almost make me look at Sakura again but I manage for to stop my self.

  I shake head. I say ‘No but now I have other problem.’