by Kristy Marie
I nod my understanding as the doors swing open. Awaiting doctors and nurses rush to his side as they lower him to the ground. I watch as he disappears through the double doors, on his way to the operating room. His life in the hands of someone else.
I don’t know I how long I sit there in the ambulance. Tears stream silently down my face. I want to scream but I won’t because Theo loves my scream and he isn’t here to hear it. I stomp my feet, kicking the bench, anything to get out the anger that has taken over. I pull my hair. I hurl bloody bandages until there are no more for me to throw and fall to the floor of the ambulance when every ounce of energy is drained from me.
As I lay, spent, against the cold metal, a flash of color underneath the seat catches my eye. Sliding across the littered floor, I reach under the chair and find… a piece of bubble gum.
“Commander.”
I raise my head slowly at the sound of Cade’s comforting voice. His strong shoulders are set, his eyes full of concern, full of pity, as he stares back at me.
“Come. Let’s go inside.” His hand reaches for me carefully, letting me know he’s there to help. It’s obvious he’s not sure where my head’s at.
There’s some irony for you, Cade coaxing me out of a mental break.
My chin begins to quiver as I roll the gum around in my hand. “He loves gum. He always has a piece stashed somewhere.”
Cade nods at my declaration, inching closer, and steps up into the back. “Come here, baby. The guys want to see that you’re okay.” Another step closer.
I twist the ends on the gum, barely registering Cade’s movements. “He’ll want this when he gets out.”
“Yes, he will. Come inside, we can wait for him together.” Cade’s hand closes over my hand clutching Theo’s gum.
A whimper escapes my lips right before he envelops me in his strong arms. Right before I break down and scream into his shirt. I scream for me, I scream for Theo. And when my throat is too raw to make another sound, I cry big, heavy, ugly, silent sobs.
It’s then Cade scoops me up, carrying me out of the van and into the waiting room where all my guys rush us, enveloping my entire body with theirs.
Comforting me.
Loving me.
Killer is steadily barking at the grill like something is going to jump off and land in her slobbery mouth. The aroma of charcoal is making my mouth water, too, so I can’t blame a girl for trying.
Seriously, whose idea was it to start the grill while we played a few innings of baseball outside, in the scorching-ass heat? Theo’s, that’s who. He started in with his dinner request at seven this morning. His order of ribs, potato salad, and baked beans was popped off in rapid sequence.
I shouldn’t encourage his newly relaxed diet, and throw on a chicken breast instead, but I do. I promised to treat him more like a boyfriend instead of an athlete. But he’s no longer an athlete.
Theo Von Bremen officially retired this season.
It wasn’t a hard decision since he wanted to quit for some time. Thad and I wanted him to succeed so badly that we forgot about what he wanted.
We sold it to the press like his arm was no good after the incident, but in fact, it was better than ever. The bullet hit his lung, lodging itself there, and after being on pins and needles while he was in the operating room for six hours, he pulled through. I, however, was a complete train wreck for three solid weeks.
For the first time in the history of being the Commander, I broke down at Cade’s feet in a heaving mess. When he carried me to the waiting room, the guys huddling all around, so many things went through my head. Would I ever be happy without Theo in my life? Would the guys leave me?
So many unanswered questions.
I was a fucked-up mess, sobbing in the arms of six burly men. I’m sure the rumor mill in Madison was abuzz.
Theo was transferred to the ICU when he came out of surgery. I was hell on wheels, to say the least. I was barking orders, checking medicines, anything and everything to give me a sense of control.
Cade, the sweet asshole he is, ended up slipping a sleeping pill into my coffee, and I finally slept until my boy awoke, bitching about the uncomfortable mattress. I had to pull some strings but all of us were able to stay together, sleeping in that tiny space of a room for a whole week until Theo was moved to a transitional floor unit.
Those long-ass days were filled with jokes and laughter and fitful sleep. It was a close call and one I hope we never have to live through again.
Now, six months later, Theo and Hayes work for the Atlanta Braves, our local team, scouting and recruiting new prospects. It’s a job he was made for. With Hayes’ baseball knowledge and Theo’s intimate knowledge of skill and technique, they make one hell of a duo.
Cade and I have become successful in our own right. The news caught wind of our story and people all over the world started sending donations and letters about what a wonderful thing we were doing for our military and community. We received so many donations that we are currently expanding the house and even building additional quarters (or barracks as Cade likes to refer to them) to take in more vets.
The pimply-faced kid who originally denied our petition was one of the first at our door, offering his services. We politely declined. I’m kidding. We laughed in his face and slammed the door so hard the windows shook. We went with a different branch, one more closely affiliated to the Marines, where most of the guys served. They were eager to work with us and provided all the information we needed to declare ourselves a foundation.
Six weeks from now, my grandparent’s plantation house will officially be renamed to The McCallister Jameson Foundation. Pride is what Cade and I felt as we scrawled our names across that binding contract. We’re partners now. No longer my rescue, Cade has become my best friend. And most importantly, my family. All these guys have.
Nicole is staying with us until she can get on her feet. We contacted her family and as you may have guessed, they were just as shitty as Lou. So, she’s ours for now, sleeping in Lawson’s room because we just couldn’t manage to keep them apart.
As for Killer, well, she loves her name and is perfectly content sleeping between Theo and me every night. She’s my right hand when these men get out of control. After a lot of negotiating, Mason finally agreed to share joint custody with us.
“Come on, Ans, are you going to catch or what?” Theo’s hip is jutted out like he has so many other important things to do than to play a bullshit game of baseball with the guys and me. He doesn’t have a thing to do and rushing me when I am starving is just annoying.
I send him my eat-shit look as I crouch into position behind the plate, ready to catch whatever bone-crushing throw he decides to pitch.
Cade grins at me, which is weird. Normally, these brutes are hurling insults about whose dick is bigger. (I may or may not have a bet going with Cade about this specific topic. He must give evidence to win, though. I am not taking his word for it.)
Cade digs in and gives a few practice swings as I flip Theo off behind his back. Take that, you little hungry shit.
Rocking back on my heels, I give him the signal for the curve. Cade likes to chase curves. Not literally, he’s a damn saint when it comes to the occasional one-night stand or premarital sex in general. What a waste. Girls trip over themselves to hear that southern accent and get a glimpse at all those hard-earned muscles.
Theo shakes his head, not agreeing with my pitch of choice.
Dammit. I am not going to be here all day. This was supposed to be a simple couple of innings and we have been out here half an hour.
I give the signal again a little rougher and with an added finger flip to get my point across. He shakes it off again and I nearly chuck my glove at his pretty face.
Theo paces the mound, wiping sweat from his brow.
“Come on, Von Bremen,” I yell in desperation. “I’m ready to eat. I’m starving!”
He stops pacing and stares.
What. The. Hell. Is. Going. O
n.
“Come on, Theo. You got this,” Cade encourages him.
I look around for the camera. Somebody is getting their ass kicked for playing this joke. I am freaking out with all this goodwill they have toward each other. I mean, really. I haven’t heard one of them call Theo a pussy this entire time. This must be a record. Or somebody has slipped them all something and they are high. Yeah. That has to be it.
I look at Cade, who is still nodding encouragingly at Theo. I punch his shin, getting his attention. “Are you sick? Do I need to look you over?”
He chokes on a laugh. “I’m good, Commander.”
Bullshit he’s good. Something fishy is going on here. “Throw the ball, Teddy, or I quit.”
He knows I won’t quit but still… hurry up.
He glares at me from the mound as Hayes moves in to chat with him.
Oh my word!
I flop back on my butt with one giant huff.
“Get up, Commander.”
Cade did not just scold me.
I roll my eyes slowly so Cade can catch the rotation before I take my position again. He ignores me. Of course.
Hayes trots back to first base, leaving Theo pacing circles on the mound. Finally.
“Let’s go, Teddy!” I holler once more before I leave and take a spot next to Killer by the grill.
Theo searches Cade’s reaction before nodding and taking his position.
Ho-ly shit. It’s a sign of the times.
Before I can mull over this turn of events, Theo takes a breath, pulls his leg into the curl and rockets a fastball into my glove. The impact stings like a bitch.
I pop up, swearing at Cade that he should have hit it and toss down the glove to rub my hand. “Dammit, Theo! Do you always have to be so damn competitive?”
I rub the red welt in my hand, praying the feeling returns in a second.
“It’s not a real game!” I shout, my frustration with this whole situation finally taking its toll.
When no one responds or acknowledges my injury, I look up to find they are all staring at me in silence, arms crossed, showcasing the leather bands I bought at the market that day Lou grabbed me. The symbol of the phoenix shimmers proudly in the sun as it clings to each of their wrists.
“What the hell,” I mutter when the silence continues.
Cade looks down at my glove.
You know how you hear a noise in the house when you are all alone? And the worst thing you can do is go investigate? Yeah, because we all have seen scary movies and the idiot who checks always dies. So, it’s that feeling of doom that washes over me as I watch Cade’s eyes on my glove.
Don’t look. It’s probably a mountainous spider that rode that ball like a surfboard right into my glove.
Don’t. Look.
Ah! I have to. I am the idiot who is about to die with all these beefy military guys watching.
I follow Cade’s eye path and see something black peeking out from my glove.
Oh shit, it is a spider. But idiot me inches closer because I just have to know for sure.
I tap the glove a little to see if it moves. It doesn’t, which allows me to breathe a little easier. Moving the laces of the glove, I shake out…a velvet box.
My heart speeds up, banging against my chest in almost a painful rhythm. My fingers brush over the delicate material before I close my fist around it. Tears prick my eyes. Why? I don’t know. Hormones, I guess.
With shaky hands, I pry apart the little black box. Inside, a rose gold band nestles a huge, round diamond.
An engagement ring.
He threw me a fastball engagement ring!
It starts to rain, droplets falling on my shaking hand.
Wait, no. That’s tears.
I swallow back the lump in my throat before I look to the mound. Theo’s not there. I panic, but before it can get out of hand, I hear him clear his throat behind me.
He’s on one knee.
Just breathe, girl. You can handle Theo on his knees. Yes. Yes, you can.
“I’ve thought of a thousand ways to do this—” He clears his throat again. “But the truth is, no way would ever be what you deserve.”
More tears fall from my eyes.
Theo’s voice takes on a rasp like it usually does when he’s nervous or upset. “I don’t deserve you,” he admits with a sad smile. “You deserve so much better than me.”
I disagree, but I don’t want to interrupt.
“But, I can promise you that I will never stop trying to be the man you deserve. I love you. I have always loved you.”
A quiet, ugly sob erupts from my lips. I can’t help it. Theo on his knees confessing everything that I have always wanted to hear is absolutely breathtaking. I glance out onto the field, wondering where the guys went, but they are there, all on one knee with their hats over their hearts.
It’s too much. Seriously. I don’t think I can bear to hear the rest of his proposal.
“I love your strength. Your defiance.” When I look back, he’s standing and he fingers the piece of hair that escaped my hat. “I love your love of baseball. I love your passion to right the wrong. I love that you think you know everything.”
He chuckles after that last one.
“But most of all, I love how you love me.” He meets my eyes. There is a timid, humble glow emanating from his pupils…like he’s scared I will burst out laughing at his declaration. “Let me love you like you love me. Let me be your biggest fan.”
He reaches for my hand, which I give over willingly.
“Be my teammate in this game of life. Be mine, and only mine. Marry me, Ans. Marry me, and make me the happiest pain in the ass alive.”
Before he can even take a breath, I tackle him to the ground. Tears are streaming down my face, mixing with the red dirt on the field. I’m sure I look like a total wreck but I can’t give a fuck less at the moment. Theo squeezes me tight, burying his embarrassed face in my catcher’s gear.
“Please tell me, that’s a yes,” he mumbles.
Laughing, I pinch his side. “You had me when you threw the fastball. It was perfectly on the corner.”
His chest rumbles against mine in the sweetest laughter.
“Yes, Von Bremen, I’ll marry you.”
Cheers ring out as all the guys pile on top of us like this is some championship win. Maybe it is. It kind of feels like I just won the whole damn world.
If you made it to this page then it means you finished this novel! And for that, I am beyond grateful. Without the support of readers like you, who take chances on new authors, I would have never made it this far. You readers, bookstagrammars, and bloggers all gave me wings and encouraged me to take a chance at this whole writing thing. I’m in awe of your love and kindness.
To my husband. You have been my biggest supporter in this journey. Thank you for showing me that real men still exist in our society. For being my alpha and never allowing me to give up on my dreams even when I really thought I wanted to. For being my biggest competitor and my greatest supporter. And for taking part in researching the sexy scenes when I demanded that you, “read this and see if it makes you hard.”
A huge thanks to my daughter, who is more talented than I will ever be. Thank you for your infinite repertoire of new slang that I was able to incorporate in this novel. For sitting up with me discussing strategy and scene ideas. For loving Theo. One day this will be you!
To my “terrible two,” thank you for your tiny patience when I was writing while we watched Saturday morning cartoons. For allowing me to squeeze in words between soccer practice and dinner. For still loving me when I snapped for a few minutes of peace. I love you little boogers, even when you destroy the house right after I clean it. One day you will change the world. You are, and always be, my greatest achievement.
To my sister. If it wasn’t for that Christmas when Santa brought you all that Twilight shit I wouldn’t have gotten curious and picked up a copy for myself. You inadvertently watered this seed and grew it w
ith your love and support. You are my ride or die. My parabatai. And I love the utter hell out of you!
To the rest of my family and friends that had no idea that I was writing a book until the last minute. I know you would have supported me if I told you. I love you all and hope you don’t look at me differently when you read this book.
Jessica. Where do I even start to thank you? You have become such an instrumental part of my life. You became more than my beta the very first conversation we had. Thank you for all those late-night conversations and hilarious antics. For dropping everything and helping me when I was in crisis mode. For being the best damn PA there ever was! For becoming the best friend I never had. If not for your continued encouragement that this didn’t totally sound like shit I would have scrapped it all. You are more amazing than you give yourself credit for. One day, I will convince you to write a novel. You already have a beta. Until then, we’ll take the world by storm together. Me and you. Always.
To Candece, Meghan, Lindsay, and Ebony, you ladies rock! Thank you for beta reading and giving me a pat on the back when I so desperately needed it! If you are looking for great blogs to follow, check these ladies out at www.instagram.com/mycrazybookobsession, www.instagram.com/all4books_reviews and www.instagram.com/ebsdirtydiary
To my street team who took a chance on a new author and pimped this bitch like a boss. You guys are the fucking best!
A special thanks to Kcee for creating the beautiful graphics and teasers. I can’t wait to do it all again with you, babe!
And to Anne, for making me feel like a million bucks. I’m honored to have you as my friend. I got plans for you, girl!
To The Best Bitches, Lori, Sarah, Jessica, Ebony, Kayley, and Margo, you amazing ladies inspire me every day with your love and craziness. My days are brighter because of your laughter.
And to my Instagram family, without your support and encouragement I would have never finished this book. I love you all and hope this novel is everything you hoped it to be.
