by Toni Aleo
She pulls out of my grip and heads for the door. She needs to go. To cool off.
“I have you blocked in.”
She shrugs before taking my keys from the bowl next to the door. “I’ll move it and leave them on the front steps.”
The door slams behind her, and I don’t know what just happened. All these emotions are swirling deep inside me, and soon, I realize they are making me sick. Her words turn over and over again in my head, and I almost don’t believe them. I look at my helmet that is lying there, waiting for me to hide, but I don’t reach for it. I don’t want to hide. I want her to listen to me. I go to the door, pulling it open as she gets out of my truck that she’s parked in the yard.
“So, you’re breaking up with me?”
She shrugs as she throws my keys to me. “I don’t know, Nico. I need time to cool off.”
“Because I paid all your debts? Way to treat me when I do that for you.”
She stops mid-step. “And that, right there, is why I didn’t want you to do this. You don’t realize because you don’t think things through, Nico. But you’ve basically made me feel trapped. As if I could never leave you. And that’s why I’m leaving.”
I rush down the stairs, running to her and stopping her before she closes the door. I hold the door in my hand as she looks up at me with tearful eyes, but I shake my head. “Hear me out.” I crouch down and take her hand in mine. She wants to fight me on it, but I hope she doesn’t. “I hear you, and to be honest, I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t want this to be held over your head, which is why I asked my mom to do it with my money. I know that you didn’t want anyone to do it, and I get it. I do. You are a strong woman who can do this all yourself, but I am a man who wants my woman to be happy. I want to care for you. I want to make things easier for you because I love how you wake up with a smile on your face. I love how you just seem lighter—”
“Let me stop you there,” she says, squeezing my hand. “All that wasn’t because of the debt being gone. It was because of you.”
I press my lips together, and soon, tears are in my eyes. “I don’t want to lose you over this. Aviva, I did it because I love you.”
She looks away, inhaling shakily. “I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t know how to forgive you for this. Especially when you feel no remorse whatsoever—”
“I’m sorry I upset you, but I’m not sorry I paid those bills,” I say, and she brings in her brows. “I swear to you, Aviva, I did it because I know I’m going to marry you, and I would have paid them then. So, what’s the problem with doing it now?”
She removes her hand from mine. “Because at least that way, I wouldn’t have been made out to be a charity case.” She starts the car and looks over at me. “I would move if I were you.”
I do as she says because there is no talking to her. I step out of the way. “Please call me tomorrow.”
She shrugs. “I don’t know.”
Then she shuts the door and drives off.
As I watch her drive away, everything is shaking. I don’t want to believe this is over; she’s just mad. But even so, I feel like she’s taken my heart with her.
And hell, she might as well keep it, because it’s hers.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Aviva
I clutch my pillow and rub my face into it, hoping to get rid of the tears. When I’m not working, I’m in bed, and it’s really getting pathetic. It’s been three days since I’ve seen or talked to Nico, and I want to say things are better, but they’re not. I’m still spitting mad at what Nico did, and I still can’t believe he did it. He knew I would be upset. But, as angry as I am, I can believe he would do this. He doesn’t think, he just does, and he does it with his whole heart. When I drove away, it killed me to do so, especially with the tears in his eyes. I know I said I couldn’t be with him because of this, but that was the anger talking.
I’m just so mad.
I’ve worked so hard for what I needed and wanted for Callie. Never taken from anyone. But then Nico comes along and does what Nico does. Whatever the hell he wants. And I encouraged it. Loved it. He made me feel good, made me feel loved, and while I know he did it with purity in his heart, I don’t want him just to save me when he feels I’m drowning. I wanted him to discuss it with me, tell me his plans. I would have told him no, and if he did it anyway, I would have known it was him. Instead, I’ve stressed for months that someone is out there helping me and giving me things when I don’t deserve them. Instead, it was being done by the man I love. And while I still don’t feel I deserve it all, Nico does. His love knows no bounds, and I wish instead of angry, I felt appreciative. He loved me enough to make things easier for me. But the problem is, I don’t understand how.
When my door opens, I look up as Callie comes in.
And then Jaylin.
“Great, the cavalry.”
Jaylin laughs as she crawls into the bed and under the covers. Callie climbs onto the covers beside me, moving my hair out of my face. “Are you okay?”
“Fine, just pissed.”
“I know,” she says, and she smiles. “He won last night.”
I nod. “Good to know I don’t affect his hockey playing.”
“I still think you do,” Callie says, and I roll my eyes. “He looked sad through the whole game.”
“He’s an adult. He’s fine.”
She gives me a hard look. “Aviva, are you truly surprised?”
I scrunch up my face. “What?”
“Come on. It’s Nico. Surely you had to have thought he was the one doing this. I did.”
“I did too,” Jaylin says from the other side of me.
I go up onto my elbows to look at them both. “And no one thought to say anything?”
Jaylin shrugs, cuddling in my blankets. “I figured, who cared as long as you were happy?”
I glare. “But it bothered me that someone was doing it.”
“But you were happy,” Callie says, and I look back over at her. “You were finally doing things for yourself. Smiling more and living. I mean, you dropped everything to go to Barcelona. Aviva, you’d never have done that before.”
“And I know you want to be a strong woman, hear me roar, but the thing is, you are,” Jaylin stresses. “You fought to stay afloat for so long. And yes, it sucks he lied, but he did it for a good reason.”
“Because he loves you,” Callie adds, and our eyes meet. “He loves you so much, Aviva. I know he shouldn’t have lied, but I don’t think you can really break up with him for it.”
Jaylin nods. “It’s a little silly to do that when you feel what you feel for him.”
I shake my head. “How can I be with someone who lies to me?”
Jaylin lets her head drop back, and Callie lets out a long breath. “Here we go.”
“What?”
“Self-Sabotage Sally in full force.”
I make a face. “He sabotaged us by lying and paying for something that wasn’t his place to pay for. He bought me this shop—”
“Because he knew how much Dustin upset you,” Callie stresses. “And if, for some reason, Dad comes back, the place is ours.”
“He made sure you and Callie were taken care of, no matter what. When he dropped the deed off yesterday, he told me that, no matter what happens, he wants you to know that everything is yours. He doesn’t want a penny back. And if this is it, keep his heart—it belongs only to you.”
I groan loudly. “Man, what a line.”
Callie grins, and Jaylin says, “Nico knew how upset it made Callie that you were worried about her gym fees and knew how much she wanted it all to go away. They’re best buds, and the thing is, Aviva, he always thinks of Callie too. With your mom’s bills, you were suffocating, and his reaction was to take it away because he didn’t want that for you. I don’t know… I wouldn’t be mad at him. I’d be grateful that someone loves me enough to want to take care of me.”
“I don’t want anyone to take care of me—”
&n
bsp; “Why? Would you expect Callie to say that?”
I make a face, turning to look at her. “You better not.”
“I don’t, because I know you do it out of love,” she says slowly. “The same with Nico. He loves us, Aviva.”
I close my eyes before dropping my head to the pillow.
Jaylin moves her hand over my back. “I know you want to hold on to that pride like a cat trying to keep from falling into water. But maybe this time, you should think of what you’re pushing away. Do you really want to leave a guy because he made sure you and Callie were taken care of? You stayed with Mike, who treated you like dog shit, and now you have a guy who worships the ground you walk on, and you want to leave that?”
“He lied,” I stress, and Callie nods.
“Yeah. And he’s sorry. He really is.”
I make a face. “He’s sorry he got caught.”
Jaylin shakes her head. “No, he’s sorry he upset you.”
“But not sorry for paying off all those things.”
They both shake their heads. “Yeah, no. He’s not sorry for that.”
“At all,” Callie adds. “He wants the best for us, and he said that if that means we go on without him, he’ll figure it out.”
I furrow my brow. “How do you know that?”
“He’s downstairs,” Callie says slowly. “Waiting for you.”
I roll my eyes, dropping my face once more onto my pillow. I haven’t seen him in three days, and I do miss him greatly. I want to stay mad, but Jaylin’s right. Do I want to throw away a man who would do anything for me just because he did what he always does? Lives life with no holds barred and no remorse? I love that about him; I encourage that because it inspires me to live the same. He says what he feels, and he loves so damn hard. I just wish he hadn’t done this behind my back. I push off the bed, and Callie and Jaylin jump up quickly.
“What are you going to do?”
“Don’t break his heart.”
“He makes you so happy. He doesn’t think things through, but he means well.”
“You know him better than anyone. He didn’t do this to hurt you.”
I shut the door on them before they can leave my room. I let out a sigh and then head downstairs. When I hit the stairs, I hear the song playing that reminds him of me. It’s ending, but then it restarts. I make a face as I come down and into the shop.
Nico’s behind the counter, waiting for me.
He looks tortured, and I know I mirror him. I swallow hard as I cross my arms. “What are you doing here?”
“You haven’t called.”
“I know.”
“I’ve called.”
“I know. I watched the phone ring.”
He narrows his eyes. “I don’t want to fight, Aviva. I miss you. Bad.”
I bite my lip. “I miss you too, Nico, but—”
“No, hear me out,” he says quickly, holding his palms out to me, and I perk my brow. “Welcome to Nico’s I’m Sorry shop.”
He waves his hands over the three subs in front of him, and I can’t help it. I laugh.
“The what?”
“Sub Shop of Sorrys. It’s a working title. Play nice.”
I raise a brow at the stupidity of it as he goes on. “We have a Number 0, The One Nico Really Likes—where I do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want.” I scoff, and he winks. “It’s the dirty sub of sexiness. Lots of salami.”
I snort as I shake my head. “Of course you’d start with that sub.”
“Hey, can’t blame me for all the naughty time I like with you.” He winks once more. “I feel banging this out will be good for both of us. I’ll even let you choke me a bit. Safe word: subs.”
I laugh out, shaking my head. “I’m supposed to be mad at you.”
He nods before he points to the second sandwich. “I know. That’s why we have the Number 00, the I Don’t Want a Life without You. Yeah, I played decent last night, but I came home sad because I didn’t have you. I’m growing, Aviva, but I want to grow with you.”
“Well, that’s a heart-clencher.”
“Yeah, I needed you to know that, so I threw it in there. It’s your favorite too, tuna.”
I grin as he moves on. “Then finally, the Number 000, the Nico and Aviva special. It’s three zeros for me, you, and Callie. It’s where we have a great life and ignore my stupidity. Do everything that makes us happy and forget the stupid things I’ve done. But we appreciate them because I would only do them for you and my mom because you mean that much to me.”
“That option has appeal.”
“I thought so. It’s my favorite sub,” he says, and then he leans on the counter, his eyes burning into mine. “I fucked up. I know this. I shouldn’t have lied and done everything behind your back. I’m sorry for the lie and doing it in secret. But, again, I’m not sorry for doing it. And let me explain why.”
I feel like we’re just going round and round, but then, his eyes don’t allow me to argue.
“I watched my mom struggle and work hard to make ends meet. She’s just like you. She didn’t want help. She did it her way and I came out great, but it was hard to watch. I always said when I got older, I would make life easier for her, and I did. I saw how happy it made her, how all the stress left her body in an instant. And all I could think when I saw you struggling was that I had to do it for you.” He swallows hard, his eyes pleading. “It didn’t matter if you would have broken up with me the next day. I was going to pay everything off and make things easier for you. But the more and more I was with you, with Callie, the more and more I knew I was doing it for our future.”
I press my lips together, watching him, and my heart feels as if it is beating out of my chest.
“I can have a million women throw themselves at my feet, and I’d still only want you. I want to be there to tell you every morning how beautiful you are. I want to kiss you every chance I get. I want to dance in the streets of Barcelona with you again and again while we listen to that damn song that drives me bananas. I don’t care because we’d be together. I want to go to every single meet of Callie’s. I want to watch her grow. I want to be there with you to cheer her on. And damn it, Aviva, I want to have kids with you.”
Emotion takes over, and I can’t keep the walls up much longer. He has a way of knocking them down with no warning at all. My lips start to quiver as he holds my gaze.
“I promise I won’t lie ever again about anything, even if I think I know best. I’ve known for a while that I can’t just jump into things like that, but I didn’t care. Now I care because I refuse to do anything to lose you. I never meant to make you feel like a charity case, and I never saw you as one—”
“I know that, Nico. I do,” I say as my voice breaks. “I know you only did it out of love, but you can’t blame me for my pride being a bit stung.”
He nods. “I know, Aviva, and I’m sorry for dinging it. The last thing I want is to hurt your pride or anything on you.”
I nod slowly. I believe him totally. “I know.”
“I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you, Aviva. Never in my life has anyone understood me or been so patient with me. I’m usually terrified to be myself, but you accept me for who I am.”
“Because I love you.”
He points to me. “Exactly. Just as I love you. We do really crazy things when we love people.”
I cock my head. “What crazy thing have I done?”
“Loved an autistic guy,” he says with a shrug.
I shake my head, scrunching up my face. “Nico, really. Using that as a line?”
He grins. “It’s not a line.”
I hold his gaze. “Then, Nico, that’s not crazy. That’s natural for me.”
His eyes get misty as he exhales. “See? I would legit buy a billion sub shops just to hear you say that. Just to know I’m enough for you.”
I shrug. “I’d say it without the endless sub shops.”
He nods. “Which is why it was so easy for me
to give you everything you deserve.” He reaches out, taking my hand and pressing his thumb into my palm. “The best part of me is you,” he says, and my heart takes flight. “And I need that part. So, tell me what to do. Beg? I can beg.”
I laugh softly because I know he would beg. He doesn’t care what people would think as long as he made this better. “You wouldn’t beg.”
He scoffs. “For you, I would, and I’m not ashamed of that.” He steps closer to me, and I don’t move. His cologne hits me in the face, making me dizzy, but still, my eyes stay on him. “Do you want me on my knees?”
“No, Nico, you don’t have to beg.”
“I don’t?”
“No, but you do have to promise never to do that again.”
“Never. I won’t buy you any more shops.”
“And I want you to let me pay you so you can make a profit from the shop.”
He looks intrigued. “In blow jobs?”
“Nico—”
He holds up his palms. “Fine, free subs and endless kisses.”
I quirk my lips. “Or the rent I’m paying.”
He shakes his head before snaking his arm around me. “Or we take that money and send it to that YMCA thing you like supporting. And I get my subs and kisses.”
He brings me in close, and I let him, my chest resting against him. “Only if I get my triple zero sub.”
He curves his lips slowly, his eyes darkening as he slides his nose along mine. “Since I made it only for you, it’s yours. Along with my heart, my soul, my life.”
“Wow, the lines are real tonight.”
He nods. “I watched a lot of romantic comedies when you weren’t speaking to me. I wanted to pull out all the stops.”
“Without me? Rude.”
“You eat all the candy.”
“And you love it.”
He nods. “I love you.”
Without another thought, Nico cups my face and drops his mouth to mine. I lean into the kiss. I should have known I couldn’t stay mad at this man for long. His heart is too pure, and it’s all mine. I’m sure he’ll do more things in the future with zero impulse control, and the crazy thing is, I’ll still love him.
