“What? Really?” She frowned. “The guys talk about you like you’ve got it all figured out.”
“Because you’re talking to Jamie and Harper.” He chuckled. “Those two don’t have anything figured out.”
“True,” she said slowly.
The pressure cooker beeped and Logan flipped the release valve. He watched the steam shoot up.
“I guess you’ve got me pegged when it comes to commitment, though. I like knowing where I stand with people.” He glanced at her. “Maybe that’s why we’ve clashed so much?”
She tilted her head to the side. “You think?”
“Possibly.”
He twisted the top off the pressure cooker and busied himself preparing the chicken, stirring the sauce and making two plates.
Kelsey had gotten under his skin from the very beginning. Before Logan even met her. All he’d been told was that there was a missing FBI agent. He’d had a visceral reaction to that news. That was the first time he’d met Samuel and Baruti. They’d worked together to bring Kelsey and Jamie’s girlfriend, Tabby, home safe. Deep down, Logan had never quite forgiven either of them for allowing Kelsey to get taken like she had.
Was that where his suspicion was rooted?
“Wow, this looks good,” Kelsey muttered as he slid a plate across to her.
Logan circled the bar to sit on the stool next to her. Yes, he had a large dining table and chairs, but that was only there for meetings. He didn’t actually like sitting at it.
“I was about to retire when this job came up,” he said, deciding to lay it all out there.
“What?” She froze with her first bite halfway to her mouth.
He nodded. “I had—still have—a typed up two weeks’ notice. It was in my jacket pocket the day my boss called me in to brief me about the Task Force. We got twenty-four hours to say yes or no. I decided that I couldn’t leave my guys to do this without me. If the majority of them said yes, I’d go with them. Here I am.”
“Wow. I’d never have guessed that. What were you going to do?”
“No idea. Not really.” He pushed the food around his plate for a moment. “My parents are older. They had me later in life. They’re both semi-retired now and moved back to the reservation where they were born. We’ve got some extended family there. They aren’t as...taken care of as I would like them to be. There’s some bad blood between them and some others about how they left. I just want to make sure they’re taken care of, you know?”
“No. Not really, I mean. My parents are dead and I don’t have any other family to speak of.”
Logan paused. Had he known that?
“You don’t, like, talk about it, but it seems like you’re really grounded in your family and your culture. I wish I had that.” Kelsey slid her fork into her mouth and began to chew.
“I didn’t know your parents were gone. I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say.
“Wow, this is good.” She gestured at the plate. “It’s okay. They divorced when I was like, fifteen. They were both remarried within a year. Mom died when I was eighteen. Dad had more kids, so things were always weird there. He died when I was nineteen, almost twenty. I never got very close to my step-parents or my half-sisters. I don’t know I just never felt connected.”
“I...have no idea what that’s like.”
“Probably a good thing.” She chuckled.
He swallowed his bite and stabbed at another. “I don’t have my shit together as well as you think I do.”
Kelsey gestured with her fork. “So you want to retire from Aegis Group to go be with your parents who haven’t asked you to take care of them. Do I have this right?”
Logan winced. “When you put it that way, I have to wonder what I’m thinking.”
“Nah, I think that’s just you. You want to take care of people and look after them. It’s what makes you a really great leader. But, you have to know where the line is, and that’s where we get crossways.”
“You’re right.” Her words smarted, but he could see the truth in them. “I guess that goes to further prove my point. I don’t have my shit together.”
Kelsey chewed another bite while watching him, so he did the same.
She’d taken time to mostly dry her dark hair. She hadn’t put make-up back on and she was once more in casual clothes.
This was how he liked her most.
“So, I’ve told you why I don’t think we’d work. Why do you think we would?” she asked.
Logan chewed his food slowly. This was something he’d thought about and had an answer for, but he wanted to say it the right way.
“We’re similar. Cut from the same cloth,” he began. “We both have a deep drive to do the right thing. We’re both dedicated to what we believe in. But we’re also different. I know I’m too serious. I get stuck in a rut, or blind to what’s not in front of me. You have a better sense of balance. You always seem to step back and see a situation differently.”
“It sounds like you’re describing a working relationship.”
He shook his head. “Those same qualities work in a relationship.”
“Then why do we clash so much? Really?” She turned to face him fully.
Logan braced a foot on her stool.
She waved a hand as she spoke. “Let’s say that a quarter of our arguments were rooted in sexual frustration. What about the other seventy-five percent of the time?”
That answer was easy. “Poor communication.”
“What?” Her nose wrinkled.
“Poor communication.” He nodded. “I thought a lot about this the last two days. Since you kissed me.”
Kelsey glanced away and shifted in her seat. But only for a moment.
Logan leaned toward her. Really thinking about this had opened his eyes to his own short-comings, and he wanted to do better. “I don’t want to tell you that you can’t do your job or how to do your job. Most of the time we clash because I want to look out for you as part of the team. But you view yourself as separate from the team always.”
She stabbed the air between them with her fork. “Because I’m not part of your team.”
“You’re part of this Task Force, which means we’re all on a team together. This dividing line between branches and departments fractures us. I know you take issue with how I do things sometimes, but there’s usually a reason. And I honestly think if we slow down and talk things through more, extend a little trust both ways, it will get easier.”
“So long as I listen to you?”
Logan blew out a breath and stared at her. “I was hired to lead my team. What am I supposed to do?”
“Not hover. You hover and it drives me crazy.”
“I’ll stop hovering if you let me know what your plans are. I hover because I can’t always trust you to not go off and do your own thing. I don’t want you abducted ever again. Understand me?”
Kelsey grimaced and glanced at her plate. “I’ll give you that. I’m just not used to working as part of a group like this.”
“If you slow down and find your place, you might enjoy it.”
“Hm.” She shoved another bite in her mouth and chewed a moment. “I’ll give it a shot.”
Logan breathed a sigh of relief. He really did think they all worked well together when they were on the same page. And contrary to what Kelsey said, he did appreciate her viewpoint. Even if it frustrated him at times.
“I’m not sleeping with you again tonight,” she said.
He paused with another bite halfway to his mouth. “I wasn’t aware that we’d slept together.”
She glared at him. “You know what I mean.”
He smiled and held up his free hand. “I just want to be clear.”
“How’s your shoulder?” she asked.
“Want to see it? Kiss it and make it better?”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Forget I asked.”
Logan set his fork down and leaned toward her.
Kelsey’s laughter faded, a
nd she looked at him. He knew this moment, right here and now, could become more. It could become the stuff that days were filled with. He just had to show her.
He leaned in and kissed her gently, but didn’t linger.
“What was that for?” she whispered.
“Being you.”
“Oh.”
He relaxed more and let himself grin at her. “I’m saving my thank you for rescuing me for later.”
Kelsey gasped. “I get a thank you?”
Logan winked at her. “Not tonight.”
Her face creased. “Why do I have to wait?”
“You implied no sex. Seeing you kick ass like that was pretty damn sexy.”
Kelsey glanced away from him, but she couldn’t hide her grin.
He’d win her over. He’d figure this out. He had to.
He was already in love with her.
13.
Saturday. Logan’s Apartment. Washington, DC.
Kelsey really wanted to scratch her nose. Like it was all she could think about. But scratching her nose meant moving, and moving would mean acknowledging she’d allowed Logan to slowly envelop her. So far she’d ignored his progressive encroaching because it was ignore it or freak out over it. Seeing as he was quite large, warm and attractive, she’d gone with ignoring him.
She was terrible at this.
Give her a bar, some drinks and a willing guy. She worked things out just fine in six or so hours.
But dinner, conversation, sharing things? She lost herself.
If she didn’t scratch her nose soon, she was going to... Well, she didn’t know what she’d do.
It couldn’t be helped.
She had to.
Kelsey pulled her right arm from under Logan’s and furiously rubbed her nose.
“Need a tissue?” His voice rumbled right next to her ear.
She jumped, not because she hadn’t known he was there. She was acutely aware of his presence. He was just so loud and close and there.
“No, I’m good. Just, surprise itch is all,” she said.
“Those are the worst.”
Relief.
It was utterly blissful.
She sighed and relaxed back into the sofa.
What did she do with her damn hand though now?
Logan sat leaning toward her. They were both leaning on a large pillow in the middle of the sofa. At some point he’d wrapped his arm around her shoulders and had his other hand on her knees.
As if he heard her thoughts, Logan took her right hand in his, threading their fingers together and placed them back on her lap.
It was so easy. So casual. They’d sat like this for at least two episodes of Hawaii Five-0 reruns.
Most guys would have made a move by now, even if they’d agreed to a no-sex evening. There were plenty of things to do that didn’t involve the act of sex. But not Logan. It was kind of nice not having that pressure out there. He’d given her a lot to think about earlier.
She’d always assumed Logan simply saw himself as the boss, and it was his job to order her around. Most of the time she’d gone into briefings with him in a bad attitude.
Kelsey had created problems when there weren’t any. They both had. All because they wanted to do this. Right now.
“Every now and then I recognize a place in the show. Or think I do.” She squinted as the main characters of the show strode down a street with shops in the background.
“You still have family there?”
Kelsey shrugged. “No idea. I don’t think so.”
“You ever thought about going back there?”
She considered that question. The simple answer was yes, but the real one was more involved.
“I wouldn’t know where to go or what to do. I mean, yeah, my dad’s family’s from Hawaii. I’m Polynesian. But, I don’t have any connection to that. I don’t know what it means.” She turned her head and looked up at Logan. “I’m jealous you’re so plugged into your family like you are. Even with your parent’s drama, you’ve got cousins and people and...tribe things? Is it tribe stuff?”
He chuckled. “Sure. Tribe stuff.”
“You have that, and... I don’t.”
“I bet there’s more opportunities out there to learn than you realize.” He squeezed her hand. “Dad’s retirement project was to organize different people with specific skills or knowledge to teach community classes. Last summer he did a few camps for people who wanted to learn more. There were a lot of people who had some small, biological connection to our tribe. They wanted to learn about that part of themselves. I find it hard to believe you couldn’t find something similar.”
“Wow, that sounds cool. I wish I was passionate about something like that.”
“You’re passionate about your job.”
She looked back at the TV. His gaze was just too intense. “Someone has to care.”
Logan bent his head and whispered. “Don’t sell yourself short.”
She shivered as his breath tickled her neck.
He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.
Why had she said no sex? Why?
Kelsey turned her head, her focus zeroed in on his lips.
Logan hadn’t kissed her beyond that little peck at dinner.
“I have a confession.” The way his voice dipped, it didn’t sound like a fun one.
“What kind of confession?” She tipped her head back to better look at him.
Logan reached for the remote, pausing the show, and straightened. She missed his warmth immediately. The apartment wasn’t cold, but she’d grown accustomed to the press of his body around hers. She didn’t like being without it.
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees.
Whatever this was really bothered him.
Kelsey stared at the side of his head and waited.
Logan sighed, then began speaking. “You were right when you said I didn’t want you going on the undercover job to Saudi Arabia. It’s not because I didn’t believe you could do the job. It was that...I’d rather risk someone I didn’t know very well over you. The idea of you being all the way over there, at some creep’s mercy? I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t.”
“I know.” She chuckled and twisted around, sitting cross legged facing him. “Well, I reasoned that out. You also were right when you said I wasn’t the prince’s type. My desire and ability to do the job don’t matter if I can’t get a foot in the door. After seeing the kind of women he picked, I never had a chance.”
He glanced at her, his face creased with lines of worry. “I should have believed in you more.”
“Sitting in a garage, believing you’re a car, doesn’t make it happen. I’d have had to magically sprout like eight inches overnight to even be a blip on his radar.”
Logan’s eyes were still fierce. “I didn’t want you to be a blip. My decision was selfish. I didn’t want to risk you. And I didn’t want to put you in a position where a man would...”
Kelsey waited for the sharp kick of anger. But it didn’t show up. Instead she was...amused? Was that the right word for this feeling? She kind of liked the idea of Logan possessive over her. To a point.
“You aren’t going to keep me from ever taking a risk, you know?” She reached out and rubbed circles on his back.
He sighed and reclined back on the sofa next to her. He took her hand and held it. “I know. Just, if you have to? Make it hot again, okay?”
Kelsey laughed, a deep sensation rolling up from her belly.
“Where’d you learn that? Where do you keep that knife anyway?” he asked.
“Oh man.” She swiped at her eyes. “I’ve got a sheath built into my holster for it. I learned it when I was still a cop. It was for an undercover assignment because I wouldn’t be able to carry a gun. I wanted to be able to protect myself. Plus, I thought it would be badass to have a hairpin I just pull out and stab someone with. It doesn’t work that way, just so you know, but it was a pretty badass idea.”
“Did you
have hair long enough for a hairpin?” He turned his head, staring at her hair.
“Yes,” she snapped. “I’m sure I have pictures somewhere. It was just boring, long and brownish-black.”
“I bet it was beautiful.”
Logan tugged her hand. Curious about what he wanted, she let him pull her to him. Only, instead of a kiss or a grope, he pulled her to lie down with him on the wide sofa, his front to her back, and turned the TV on again.
Her insides were on fire, and yet his hand remained in that safe mid-area on her stomach.
He was lulling her into something. A relationship?
Right about now she wasn’t going to put up a fight. It was nice to sit and talk with him. It was nice to be on the same page, finally.
She’d known Logan had been a major roadblock for her on their last operation. But she’d thought it was because he found her lacking. His reasoning, while not great, was at least honest. They’d have to work on things, because his wanting to protect her couldn’t interfere with their jobs. Otherwise, what was the point in her being here?
For now, she’d take his apology and be content with it. Ultimately, he had been right. She wasn’t the right woman for that job, so there was no use being upset about it.
Having people beyond Samuel and Baruti worried about her was new to her. She wasn’t used to it. Now there was Diha and Felecia and Cat and the guys. And now Logan.
Kelsey wanted things to work out with him. Somehow. Because she didn’t want to leave here. Not until the job was done, because she’d found something.
The TV episodes began to blur. She watched bits and pieces between taking long blinks.
“Time to turn in?” she heard Logan ask at one point.
“One more,” she mumbled and closed her eyes.
It was a lie. A complete, bald-faced lie.
Kelsey wanted to fall asleep right here. In his arms. And never move. She really did regret leaving him last night. It had been a long time since she’d slept in a man’s arms.
Almost a whole second later, Logan gently shook her. “We’ve watched one more.”
Kelsey squeezed her eyes shut tighter.
His chest shuddered with soft laughter.
Intercepted Risk (Aegis Group Task Force Book 5) Page 18
