by Liz Isaacson
He didn’t offer up a prayer. He’d made his choice, and he knew God wouldn’t change Megan.
Only she could do that.
23
Landon put in long hours at his new home. He drove to Salt Lake and bought furniture, an expense he’d planned on because the only thing he owned in his cowboy cabin was his clothes.
He hired a moving company to pack up his belongings—including his truck—in Montana and drive everything to Brush Creek.
He pruned trees, and learned swimming pool care, and spoke with the horse breeder in Texas. Brynn Bowman was a champion barrel racer. He’d known her while he was riding bulls and winning championships himself. He hadn’t realized she’d retired from the rodeo circuit, had gotten married, and now lived in Texas. But she had.
Landon called Megan every morning around ten. She’d only answered once the first week, and she claimed he was calling too early. So he moved his call time to eleven. It had only been two days, but she hadn’t answered yet.
Whenever he thought about her, which was all the time, a blip of anxiety would steal through him, infecting him, sickening his stomach. His jaw clenched and he’d have to take a deep breath to center himself.
Working helped keep his mind from running rampant. And with a trip to Texas in the immediate future, getting a horse would help calm him too. The morning of his flight to Amarillo, he worked up the courage to call Megan.
Surprise drenched him when she said, “Hey, Landon,” as if they’d been carrying on long conversations for the past ten days.
“Megan,” he said, the simple sound of her voice soothing him. “How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“I just haven’t—” He leaned against the wall that separated the yard from the pool area. “It’s good to hear your voice.”
She didn’t say anything, and Landon wracked his brain for something else to say. “I’m going to buy a horse today.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, flying to Amarillo in a few hours.”
“What’s the stable called?”
“This place called Bowman’s Breeds.”
“Huh.”
“Are you okay?”
“Just peachy.”
But she wasn’t. Landon knew she wasn’t, but he didn’t know how to fix things with her unless he went back to Montana. And the very thought of doing that made his skin itch like he’d taken Crossfire through a patch of poison ivy.
“I’m—” he started, but she said, “So you have time to go to Amarillo? The house must be finished.”
His pulse paused, skipped, stalled, popped. “It’s dry now, yes.”
“And if I know you, and I think I do, you’ve been workin’ on it nonstop for the past ten days.”
“Except to call you,” he said, not quite sure where the acidic bite in his tone had come from. So what if he worked eighteen hours a day? He didn’t have anything else to do.
“I’ve been busy at the church,” she said.
“Last time we talked, you said I was callin’ too early.”
“You were.”
“You have a phone. You could’ve called me back when you got a free moment.”
“I don’t have a lot of those. In fact, I need to go.”
“Megan, wait.”
She didn’t speak, but she didn’t hang up either.
“Come down here,” he said.
“I can’t.”
“I love you, and I want you to come to Brush Creek.”
Her voice hitched when she said, “I’m sorry, Landon. I can’t right now.” She hung up, leaving Landon to admire the brilliant, blue sky and the mountains that cut into it. He didn’t really see the gorgeous landscape though, because he knew that when Megan said, “I can’t right now,” she meant, “Please stop calling. I can’t be with you right now.”
He didn’t want to do what she wanted, but he thought it selfish and unfair to keep calling her, keeping trying for something she obviously didn’t want.
Megan wiped the tears that seemed to be permanently streaming from her eyes. These days, at least. Had she just broken up with Landon? Felt like it, though the past ten days had felt like that too.
She gathered her curls off her neck and bound them in a ponytail. She had been attending all the clubs and classes at the church, not because she needed to or even wanted to. But simply to have something to do with herself. Without Landon working around the church and Belle out on the ranch, Megan didn’t have a whole lot of people to talk to.
Everything in her ached, and not just because she’d started attending the Zumba class. Her heart didn’t seem to know it could keep beating without Landon.
Funny, she thought. I didn’t feel like this when everything ended with Eric.
And she hadn’t. No, if Megan had to choose one emotion to describe how she’d felt when she’d found out about Eric, it would be relief. Okay, and a lot of anger. And some humiliation. But mostly relief.
But when Landon had said he was staying in Brush Creek, Megan had only felt devastated. Heartbroken. Lost. And nothing was getting better.
Someone knocked on her door, startling Megan from her thoughts. Her grip on her phone slipped, and it fell to the floor. She stooped to pick it up and moved to open the door. Belle stood there, all made up and beautiful, a six-month baby bump pushing against her shirt.
“Hey,” she said brightly. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”
Megan shook her head, her misery almost a tangible weight pushing, pressing, pulsing against her lungs.
“I thought not.” Belle waved her out of the apartment. “Come on. Let’s go get that Chinese you like.”
The mention of Pan’s made Megan wince. The last time she’d been there was with Landon. Would she ever be able to enjoy the string bean chicken without thinking of him? Smelling his aftershave? Wishing he’d kiss her later?
Megan went through the motions of walking, ordering her food, sipping her soda. Belle finally reached across the table and put her hand on Megan’s. “When are you going to Utah?”
The few swallows of cola she’d had surged up her throat. She swallowed them back and shook her head. “I’m not going to Utah.”
Belle sat back in her chair like Megan had punched her. “Why not?”
I love you, and I want you to come to Brush Creek.
Megan shrugged. “I have things to finish here.”
“Name one.”
Megan opened her mouth to speak, but her mind came up blank. “My church classes,” she finally said.
“They’re running great,” Belle said. “You don’t have to do anything.”
“Well—”
“True or not true?” Belle asked. “You being present doesn’t actually have any bearing on whether the classes and clubs are successful.”
Megan glared, then sighed. “True.” She pinned Belle with a look. “My father needs me.”
“He does? For what?”
“I’m teaching the Sunday School class.”
Belle snorted. “No offense, Megan, but anyone can do that.”
Grasping at anything she could come up with, Megan said, “I just moved here. I don’t want to move again.”
Belle took her time answering. Megan knew she wouldn’t like it, because Belle wouldn’t look directly at her. She picked something invisible from her blouse, then glanced up as their food was delivered to their table. She unwrapped her chopsticks and picked up a piece of shrimp.
“Do you love him?” she finally asked.
“I—” Megan had never told Landon she loved him. She’d been trying to examine her feelings, but she hadn’t come to a decision yet.
“Okay,” Belle said. “Don’t answer that. But think about this.” She leaned into her elbows, her green eyes blazing with emerald fire. “Someone as miserable as you are feels something. Something bigger than themselves, and sometimes that something is hard to label and scary to define.”
Megan blinked at her. “Okay.”
“You just said I was miserable.”
“Are you?”
“Yes,” Megan clipped out.
“What would make you happier?”
“If Landon came back.”
“Aha!” Belle pointed her chopsticks at Megan. “And you say you don’t love him.”
“I never said I didn’t love him.” But she never said she did either.
“Your entire happiness depends on him being with you. That sounds like love to me.”
“He’s not coming back.”
“Nope,” Belle said. “And I don’t want him to, because I love him. He’s my brother, and I want him to be happy. He’s wanted a horse ranch his whole life. He finally got it. I’m happy for him.”
Megan stuffed her mouth with chicken and rice so she could digest Belle’s words. She didn’t want him to come back because she loved him.
With a jolt, she realized the Landon she knew, the Landon who’d left Montana, hadn’t been happy.
“He’s spent a lot of time making other people happy,” Belle said. “That’s all I’m saying.”
“I doubt that’s all you’ll say.”
“You’re right.” Belle laughed. “So let me lay it out. I think you’re in love with him and you just haven’t admitted it to yourself yet. You have nothing tying you to Gold Valley, so why are you still here, especially when the person you love is somewhere else?” She took a bite of her beef. “Now that’s all I’m saying.” And true to her word, she let Megan contemplate what she’d said, and they finished their food in silence.
Megan thought as she chewed, the food barely having any taste at all. She wanted Landon to be happy, and the horse ranch at Brush Creek did that. She wanted to be happy herself, and being with Landon did that.
Because she was in love with him.
“Belle,” she yelped. “I’m in love with him.”
Belle squealed and laughed, jumping up from the table so fast, she almost upended their drinks. “I know you are, Megs.” She hugged Megan, whose smile took several long seconds to cross her face.
She stepped back and held Megan by the shoulders. “So when are you going to Utah?”
“Tonight,” Megan said, her insides shaking with the force of an earthquake. “Tonight.”
Megan felt like a whirlwind, rushing here and there and everywhere. Since her lunch with Belle, she’d been firing on all cylinders, first packing, then driving to the airport, then finding out that the plane to Amarillo had just left.
She slept in the airport hotel, but it wasn’t true sleep. Nerves kept dancing through her bloodstream, keeping her close to consciousness. Every other second, she’d change her mind. Call him. Tell him you’re coming.
Don’t call. Show up as a surprise! That’s romantic.
She boarded the plane without calling him. Got a rental in Texas without calling him. Drove into the middle of nowhere without calling him. Seeing as how she’d never been there, Belle had performed her Google magic and then texted Megan a pin of the boarding stable out at Three Rivers Ranch.
With every passing mile, her restlessness grew. At the same time, she recognized and acknowledged things about herself. She had felt a great drive to make the church a hub of activity, a centerpiece of the community. But not because it fulfilled something inside her.
Her father didn’t need her to do all she’d done.
The people didn’t need her to set up clubs and classes.
She’d done those things to try to find her own sense of belonging. And she hadn’t found it. The only place she’d felt safe, and loved, and like she fit, was in Landon’s arms. And she wanted so badly to tell him that.
Finally, she pulled onto a dirt road. The sign she’d passed a quarter mile ago had read Three Rivers Ranch, Courage Reins, and Bowman’s Breeds. As she bumped along, Megan hoped to find Landon here. If he wasn’t, she wasn’t sure where to look, and she’d be forced to call him.
She parked next to a fence—and another car that looked suspiciously like a rental—outside the barn that boasted the Bowman’s Breeds sign. Her sandaled feet drank up the dust as she walked through the gate and stepped into the barn.
The air in July in Texas seemed so heavy, so silent. Megan could barely inhale it. Yet something about Three Rivers felt cleansing too, almost like she could shed her skin and become the person God really wanted her to be.
“Can I help you?”
A blonde woman who looked near full-term with a baby approached. She wore a smile, a pair of jeans, and a billowing blue blouse that couldn’t hide the fact that she was usually thin and petite.
“Maybe,” Megan said. “I’m looking for….” She cleared her throat. “I’m looking for my boyfriend. He said he was coming here to buy a horse. Landon Edmunds?”
She cocked her head, her expression growing curious. “Sure, he’s in the sheltering barn. Come on, I’ll take you.” She moved with the grace of a woman who wasn’t nine months pregnant, and Megan hurried to follow her.
“Name’s Brynn,” she said as they left the main barn.
“I’m Megan.”
“Right. Landon’s mentioned you a time or two.”
“He has?”
Brynn gave her a smile, though the eager look in her blue eyes didn’t diminish. “Of course, what with you bein’ his girlfriend and all.”
“Oh, right.” A blush worked its way into Megan’s face. “I didn’t realize you guys talked all that much.”
“Oh, he’s been here all day.” She waved her hand as if swatting at a fly. “First he likes Million Dollar Man, then he wants to see Thaddeus again. The man can’t make a decision to save his life.”
Megan tossed her curls and laughed. “He really can’t.”
Brynn’s chuckle made Megan think they could be good friends. “Well, he’s right through here.” She entered the second barn first, and Megan heard Landon’s low voice from somewhere deeper inside.
“Landon,” Brynn called. His voice cut off. “Your girlfriend’s here.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he called back.
Brynn’s bright eyes found Megan’s. “Huh. Well, she seems to think you do.” She patted Megan’s shoulder as she exited the barn, leaving Megan to peer down the shady hallway. Leaving Megan to face Landon alone.
24
Megan straightened her shoulders, having long given up smoothing her hair as a way to release her anxiety. She stepped with confidence toward the direction Landon’s voice had come from. After only a few steps, she saw his body framed in the doorway, the sunlight streaming in from outside behind him, bathing his face in shadows.
“Hey,” she said when she thought sure he’d seen her. “So is Brush Creek as far from civilization as Three Rivers?”
“Farther.”
A pit opened in Megan’s stomach, a hole she hoped she could keep from infusing her voice.
“What are you doin’ here?”
“I came because….” She took another step closer to him, straining to see his face against the shadows. He watched her straight-faced, his fingers curled around the reins of a horse that lingered just beyond the door.
“I came because I’m in love with you.” Her feet shuffled, almost urging her to run. “And I wanted to tell you, and you told me to come to Brush Creek, but I knew you weren’t there, so I had Belle look up this place, and I flew to Amarillo this morning.” She took a breath, ready to start in again.
But Landon dropped the reins and swept her into his arms, his cowboy hat falling to the ground as he brought his mouth to hers. “I love you, too,” he murmured just before kissing her. She pressed into him, that safety and warmth she felt whenever she stood in his embrace descending on her. With absolute certainty, she knew she’d made the right decision. Knew that God had guided her to this man, even if the timing was inconvenient, even if it meant she had to move again.
She was ready to move on, and that was worth packing up everything she owned and cart
ing it to a remote horse ranch in Utah.
He kept his strong hands on the small of her back as he broke their kiss and moved his lips to her earlobe. “It’s so good to see you.” He took a deep breath of her, and Megan smiled, the strength of happiness running through her a direct contrast to the misery she’d been experiencing for the past several days.
“We have a lot to work out,” she whispered, holding onto his broad shoulders and tracing her fingers through his hair.
“Mm.” He seemed keen to keep kissing her, and if Megan were being honest, she didn’t mind a bit.
The emotions coursing through Landon sparked and popped. Megan had left Montana. Megan loved him. Megan was coming to Brush Creek with him.
The horse he’d been working with—Thaddeus, a year-old gelding who showed great promise—nickered, a chastisement for Landon’s affections. He pulled away from kissing Megan and gazed down on her. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I love you.”
Landon couldn’t believe she did, but at the same time, the love was right there, shining in her eyes, pulling her lips into a smile, streaming with sincerity in her voice.
“But I can’t really move in with you at Brush Creek. In fact, I don’t even have a flight out of Texas yet. And I need to take care of—”
He started laughing. “We can do one thing at a time,” he said. “Brynn gave me the name of the hotel where I’m staying. We’ll call and get you a room too. Then we can go to dinner.”
Megan laid her cheek against Landon’s pulse. “Dinner would be great.”
“I brought my computer.” He stroked her hair, inhaled her jasmine scent. “We’ll get you on the flight I’m on. It leaves tomorrow afternoon.”
“What about your horse?”
He twisted toward Thaddeus. “I think I’m gonna get him,” he said. “There was another I liked, but Thaddeus has something special about him.”
“Just one? Maybe you can get them both.”
With the price tag the purebred horses carried, Landon hesitated. He could afford them, sure. He just wasn’t sure he wanted more money streaming from his savings. He felt like he’d been bleeding dollars for the past couple of weeks.
