I laugh, running my hand under my nose. Dashawn has gotten so big. He looks more and more like his father every day. Danny would be so proud. Dae-Dae is so smart and funny. Just like his dad.
“Em looks so much like, Danny,” my grandmother says with a shaky voice.
“Who’s Danny?” Dae-Dae looks up at Felix to ask.
“Your uncle,” a voice booms behind me, startling me.
I turn to see my father almost glaring at me. My mother rushes forward, pulling me into her arms. She is sobbing and rocking me in her arms before I get a chance to register what’s unfolding before me.
My eyes haven’t left my father’s. All I’ve done. All I’ve accomplished and he manages to squash it in one look. I close my eyes and turn away.
I’ve done nothing wrong.
I chant the words to myself. Yeah, I allowed Christa to use my insurance, but haven’t done any of the things my father’s accusing looks suggest. I won’t be made the villain. Not again.
“Mama, who’s that?” Dae-Dae asks.
I open my eyes to look at the little boy that has become my son. He is pointing to my father. I follow his little finger to see several emotions cross my father’s face. It happens so fast I can’t peg them all.
The one emotion I do recognize is disappointment. It cuts me to my core. I feel Felix place his hand on the small of my back. It should comfort me, but it only raises my anger.
He should have talked to me first. He should have allowed me to prepare myself for this. Honestly, he should have just left this alone.
“I’m your grandfather,” my father says as he moves closer. “You can call me Papa.”
“Hi, Papa, it’s nice to meet you,” Dae-Dae says with a huge grin on his face.
My father reaches to run a hand over his hair and cups his face. I can’t see my father’s full face to see his reaction to his first interaction with his grandson. Still, the ridged stance that he’s in speaks volumes.
“Give him a chance, Kaye,” my mother whispers in my ear.
I swallow my hurt feelings and nod. Brushing a hand over my hair, my mother kisses my cheek, before she nuzzles it. It’s a soothing balm I didn’t think she still had the power to offer.
“God is going to bless you for the amazing woman you are,” she whispers.
“He already has,” I say bitterly.
“Oh, no, my child. You haven’t seen anything yet. Eyes have not seen, ears have not heard. Even the stubborn will fall to the truth. You be patient, Kaye.”
Dae-Dae’s giggle pulls my attention. My father has him in his arms, tickling his stomach. When I hear my father’s chuckle, I feel a sting in my heart.
Patience. It’s been three years. It doesn’t get any more patient than that.
* * *
Felix
“Hey,” Dylan says as he comes over to the corner I’ve placed myself in.
Kaye is pissed. I can feel it rolling off of her. If I couldn’t feel and see it, I would know from the way she’s been avoiding me all night.
“Hey, you heading out?”
“Yeah, Connie wanted to hit a bar or something. I’m going to go with her,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.
“Okay, man. Be safe. Thanks for coming.”
“I wanted to say something to you,” he says, looking down at his feet. “You were looking for Ciara. Brooklyn told me. I just wanted to say thanks. I know you didn’t find her, but thanks.”
“I haven’t found her, yet. I’m not giving up,” I reply. “And you don’t need to thank me.”
“She’s the reason I fight,” he says with a small smile. Then his brows knit in sadness. “Knowing her dad his gone. It all seems silly now.”
“How so?”
“I made her a promise—”
“Hey, are ya coming with me or not. Time is ticking away and I want to have a wee bit of fun before we have to go back. Brooklyn is like a fly up my arse, never lets me live my life,” Connie says and pouts.
She winces, then looks over her shoulder. “Oh, sorry, Pastor,” she says, “Get me out of here.”
Dylan and I laugh. Connie has been slipping up all night in front of the Pastor. Mom let a few curses fly as well, but as long as Pastor Porter has known my mom he has flinched.
“I’ll tell you about it another time,” Dylan says. “Thanks again.”
I pull Dylan in for a hug. I wish I had better news to give him about his friend. Brooklyn told me not too long ago why he had me look for Deja and Ciara. I’ve doubled my efforts since.
Thinking of them turns my attention back to Kaye. She should look happier. This was supposed to be a great surprise.
I fucked up.
Whenever I get close, she finds a reason to move to the other side of the room. She hasn’t let me touch her and her responses to anything I say have been short and clipped.
In my defense, I’d only meant to reunite her with her grandparents and her mother. Pastor Porter blindsided me when he arrived with them. He’s another one that has been giving me the evil eye all night.
This has not turned out the way I thought it would. The one good thing about the night is Dae-Dae’s interest in his family and theirs in him. It’s funny but he has been clinging to his grandfather’s side, hanging on every word he says.
“Ye did the right thing,” my mother says, pulling my attention to my side. “Ye couldn’t have knew he would come, but it was time. It will work out.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I’m no spring chicken. Aye, I maybe clean on, but I’ve been around a block or two. I’ve seen enough to know a few things. He wouldn’t have come if he didn’t want to see her,” she replies.
I grin at my mother. Clean on she is, she’s good looking for her age. She has kept her youthful looks, despite me and my hard-headed brothers.
“He hasn’t said a word to her,” I huff.
“Pride is a powerful thing. It can make ye or it can break ye. It sure as fuck can turn ye around a few times before ye head in the right direction.”
I heave out a breath. Taking my cap off, I run a hand through my hair, before returning it to my head. My jaw works as I think of how this night was supposed to go.
“So yer not going to propose tonight, are ye?” Mom whispers.
“Nope.”
“Aye, my smart boy. Always give a lass time to calm down. Maybe it’s for the best,” she chuckles.
“Yeah, Dad would probably be pissed too.”
“Aye, he is. He’s on a plane heading home,” Mom laughs harder. “I told ye this wasn’t going to fly. Ye were in a rush.”
I groan, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and tugging her into me. She did warn me and now look. It’s all fallen apart. I bend down to kiss the top of my mother’s head.
“One of these days, I’ll listen to you,” I murmur.
“Aye, ye will.”
Chapter 24
You’re a Liar
Kaye
I peek over at Felix and his mom. I wish I had that kind of relationship with my parents. I’ve always admired all of the love and laughter in the Black home.
Cass may run a tight ship, but you never have to question her love for her boys. I know Danny felt that love. He talked about her like a second mom. When I think about it, I can say she made me feel the same way growing up.
Even from this distance, I can see the affection in their relationship as he holds her small frame in a hug. I try not to tear up. I’m just a little overwhelmed.
Here I sit right next to my parents and my father hasn’t uttered a single word to me. It’s as if I’m not here. I’m glad he has accepted Dae-Dae, but I feel like nothing sitting here. Like I’m invisible.
I wish I could have left with my friends. Kia and Dean left for their hotel. Connie and Dylan just took off to get into some trouble. I’d like to be anywhere but here.
“He’s sleeping,” My mother murmurs. “I’ll take him back to his room. It’s been so long since I’ve plac
ed a little one to sleep.”
“It’s the last one on the right,” I reply.
“I know. It’s where we were waiting,” she says with a smile.
I take a shuddered breath. It’s like the temperature drops in the room as she walks away. I want to follow after her and help. As a matter of fact, that’s a great idea. I get up to do just that.
“Don’t move, gal,” my grandmother says.
I flop back into my seat. I look at my grandparents and they’re both glaring at my dad who is glaring at me. I drop my eyes to my lap.
“T’ree years, ay. T’ree years and yuh still cyan chat ‘pon the gyal wit’ some sense,” My grandmother hisses.
“I, for one, can’t sit here and watch this,” my grandfather speaks up. “Your daughter tells you she’s with child and you throw her out. You lose your only son and you still don’t make it right.”
My grandmother kisses her teeth and folds her arms over her chest. I know she has more she wants to say. Both of my grandparents look like they’re boiling.
“Maybe it’s me. I’m from South. We don’t do our children like this,” my grandfather says.
“Cyan say we gwan like dis in Jamaica,” my grandmother scoffs.
“She is my daughter. I’ll handle this as I see fit. I don’t think this is the time or the place,” my father snaps.
“You won’t even look at the child,” my grandfather presses.
“You left your child to grieve alone. Don’t you chastise me,” my father bellows and he stand to his feet.
“Because every time my wife and I asked you were the hell my granddaughter ran off to you couldn’t give us an answer. You told us to stop asking. ‘This is my home, if you don’t like it, you can leave.’
“Those were your words. I’m no one’s child. You talk to me like one, it’s time for me to go,” My grandfather says, lifting to his full height and puffing out his chest.
“Daddy, please,” my mother pleads as she rushes out to jump in the middle of my father and grandfather.
“No child. I don’t like how you’ve handled this,” my grandfather shakes his head. “It’s not right.”
“What’s not right is this girl thinking she’s grown and come do things on her own. What’s not right is that she didn’t come home when her brother passed away—”
“I did come home,” I stand and shout. “I was there for my brother like I’ve always been. I would never let him be buried without me.”
“You’re a liar!” my father turns and barks at me.
Everyone is standing now. The atmosphere is thick with emotions. My lips tremble as I nod my head. I swipe at my tears, but I straighten my back. I’m stronger than this.
“Yeah, I am. Now get out of my house,” I say firmly.
My father’s eyes look over my shoulder and narrow. I don’t have to turn to know who he’s glaring at. I can feel Felix at my back.
“You, young man. I’ve treated you like a son. We’ll talk about this,” my father grinds out.
“Sir, I respect you like a father, but tonight, I’m going to ask you to respect my home. I think you need to leave like Kaye asked. I’ll come to see you so we can talk man to man,” Felix replies.
“Living in sin every chance you get,” my father snorts.
“Don’t you dare,” I snap. “Don’t you dare. You don’t know me and you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I don’t recall you and my daughter being married before she returned to my home knocked up,” my grandfather deadpans.
“Danesha, let’s go,” my father snaps at my mother.
“I’ll be spending time here with my daughter and grandson. You can go home,” My mother says, folding her arms over her chest.
“Bout time,” my grandmother sucks her teeth.
My father turns almost purple. He storms out without another word. I stand, staring at my mother in awe.
“Sometimes we have to allow the bull to storm the shop for him to learn his lesson. You and I have some catching up to do,” my mother says.
“Aye, ye do. The truth will set ye free, lass. It’s time to be free,” Cass says, walking over to kiss my cheek, before she turns and leaves.
“Gwan, gyal, we waiting,” my grandmother says, reclaiming her seat.
I take my seat and stare at my fidgeting hands. Saying a prayer first for my brother to forgive me, I begin to tell the truth. The whole truth.
Chapter 25
Good Man
Kaye
It has been a long day. I haven’t spoken to Felix in two weeks. You’d think that would stop the man from coming to my home. Nope, I think he has been here more now that we aren’t speaking than before.
Well, he did tell my father that this was his home. Yup, I didn’t miss that. Just one more thing to piss me off. Now on top of all of the other crap my father thinks I’ve done, he thinks I’ve been living with a man as well.
Yes, Felix spends the night here when he can. Yes, he sleeps in my bed with me. Yes, I know I’ve been sleeping with Felix, but it’s the principle of it all. If I’m going to be accused of something, let it be the things I’ve done. That’s all I’m saying.
Most of all, I’m still fuming over being blindsided and then made to feel like crap. None of that would have happened if Felix hadn’t gone behind my back and forced me to face my father. I’ve been so mad I won’t let Felix explain what the hell he was thinking.
I’ve let him dictate to me for long enough. And no, I’m not doing this because I can afford to take care of myself now. Although, it’s nice to know that I can if I need to. Again, it’s the principle.
I love Felix, but he can’t just do what he wants all the time. He thinks he’s doing what I need, but how can he know that when I don’t even know what I need anymore.
Honestly, I’m just hurt and in my feelings. My father called me a liar. I think it hurt more because I am. I’ve been lying for over three years. I’m tired and it’s weighing on my soul.
So much so that I should be writing this book, but I can’t think or focus for the life of me. Every time I start to type my mind wanders to Felix or my dad. That night was horrible.
The front door opens and my frustration rises. Felix walks in with a Cold Stone’s bag in his hand. He walks over, placing it beside me.
“I just fill your car with gas. I’m taking the light and gas bills with me. I’ll put out the trash after I kiss Dae-Dae goodnight,” he pauses with a sigh, leaning over to kiss my forehead. “I’ll come to cut the grass this weekend.”
All things I didn’t ask him to do. He has been steadily chipping away at my armor just like this. If I weren’t so hurt by what happened I would have given in already. I miss him, but I don’t want a relationship like my mother and father’s.
Daddy runs all over my mother when he wants. Sure, she has fought many battles and won. However, lately, all I can think of are the ones she rolled over on. I guess that’s because the last time I needed her most she didn’t take a stand.
I feel like I’m seeing that version of my mother in my own relationship. Until I sort my feelings out, I’m going to stick to my guns on this. He was wrong and I’m not in a forgiving mood just yet.
He releases another sigh. Then turns for Dae-Dae’s room for their nightly routine. The one thing I refuse to do is get in the way of their bond. I know how much Felix means to Dae-Dae and how much Dae-Dae means to him.
When he’s out of sight I peek into the bag. A little smile comes to my lips. It’s my favorite, Oreo Overload. He even added the caramel sauce on top.
“How long are you going to stay mad at that boy?” My mother’s voice pulls my attention.
I turn to see her coming in from the backyard. She must have been in the guesthouse with my grandparents. When I tell you Felix found me a house with more than enough space, I have more than enough space.
My shoulders sag a little more. At times he does get it all the way right. I pout as I think of how hard I’m bei
ng on him and then I hear my father’s voice calling me a liar all over again and I get over it.
“I don’t know, but I’m not ready to forgive him yet,” I mumble.
“You know he had no idea your father was coming,” my mother says as she sits at the table.
My brows knit, as I search her eyes.
“What?”
“Your father overheard me talking to Cassie. She arranged things with me and your grandparents for Felix. I was so excited that I hadn’t heard him come into the house.
“You know your father. Once he heard the conversation, he wouldn’t let up until I told him what was going on. He’s lit up at the mention of you. I thought things would work out differently,” she bows her head. “You’re both so stubborn.”
“I’m not going to let him make me a villain for something I didn’t do,” I huff.
“I knew that girl was trifling when I first saw her hanging around your brother,” my mother says with a frown.
“You know who she is?” I gasp.
This was the one detail I didn’t reveal. I told my mother everything except who Dae-Dae’s mother is. I sit in shock as she lifts her head and looks me in the eyes.
“I’m a mother. I knew about Danny too. He was so in love with Alberto. He hid it well, but there were moments that he’d slip up and let it show in his eyes. A mother sees things others don’t.
“Just like I knew you were in love with Felix all of these years. I had a feeling something was off that night. When you two came to your father. I also had a feeling Danny was tied up in it somehow.
“I’ve known your father for a long time. God saved him from some terrible things so he is set in his beliefs the way they’ve been taught to him.
“I…I thought I had time to smooth things over. Time to prime your father before sitting him down and easing him into your brother’s lifestyle choices. I thought you would cool off and come home—”
Brothers Black 5: Felix the Watch Page 15
