Brothers Black 5: Felix the Watch

by Saffire, Blue

My mother had to head to the church for a women’s group meeting. The annual family retreat is coming up this weekend. The women have something special planned as always.

  There will be a big service on Sunday. My mother has asked me to join her, but I’m not sure that’s something I’m ready for. I told her I would think about it.

  My grandparents took off to do their own thing. Granddaddy most likely taking my grandmother out to spoil her. They are such a cute couple. I can only hope to have that at that age.

  I think of Felix and smile. I don’t think I’ll see him today. He mentioned having some work he needed to focus on. He slept over last night, but had to leave out early this morning.

  I look up at the clock in the living room. I have a little bit of time before I have to pick Dashawn up. He has a playdate after school so I’ll only be dropping him off over his friend’s house.

  “Oh shoot,” flies from my lips.

  I totally forgot I was supposed to be calling that reader about her book club thingy. I put the basket in the laundry room and pull my phone out. Sitting at my computer, I find the number from the message.

  I dial and start to scroll through my account to catch up on a little social media. A smile stretches my lips when I see a pic of Kia and her little boy, Isaac. He’s adorable.

  “Hello, hello,” the voice on the other end of the phone rushes.

  “Hello, this is Kaye Blaze. I’m looking for Bonnie,” I reply.

  “Oh My God. Hey, Kaye. It’s so nice to talk to you. How are you?”

  “I’m great. Thank you for reaching out. Can you tell me more about this event and what’s expected of me?”

  “Sure. We are a traveling book club. We have about one hundred members, we get about fifty percent of that to sign up for the bus trips,” she explains.

  I look up when the door opens. Felix strolls in with a smile on his face. My face splits into a matching expression. I didn’t expect to see him at all today.

  I take in his workbag that holds his laptop and I understand that he came to work from my place. He moves over to me with that sexy saunter. Capturing my lips with the dip of his head, he gives me that best hello ever. I try my best not to moan.

  He places his forehead to mine, biting his lip as he stares into my eyes. I flick my tongue out to tastes his lips, causing him to nip my bottom one. I cover the phone and move it away to giggle.

  Bonnie is just rambling about other authors that have joined the tour or are considering. She’s been dropping names and going on and on. I’m half listening, as Felix pulls up a chair beside me and starts to unpack his bag.

  Once he is set up, he places a hand on my thigh and focuses on his computer screen. His face is so intense. I love watching him work. He completely zones out. He teases me about how I get when I’m writing, but he is the same way with his work.

  “The readers will be so excited to have you in the lineup. Girl, you did the damn thing in book 3. I was all in my feelings,” I tune back in to hear her say.

  “Oh, I’m not sure if I can do it yet. How much is the fee?” I ask.

  Dean and Kia told me there is always an author fee. Some are way more than others. I’ve been making good money, but I’m not about to do anything that’s going to break the bank.

  “Oh, author registration is one-fifty,” she says.

  “That’s not so bad,” I think aloud.

  The event Dean has me thinking about will be three hundred. Granted, that one has a lot more readers attending. One hundred and fifty dollars is doable. The wheels turn in my head. I’m new to all of this.

  Maybe I should ask Dean about this one.

  I shrug off the thought. Dean has been busy lately. She’s getting the rights back to a few of her books and rebranding them. She has a whole lot on her plate. I’m a big girl. I can handle this.

  “We want to be reasonable for the authors. You have so much you need to bring and take care of as it is,” she says.

  “I’ll think about it. I have to see what I can do about my son and look into a few other things,” I reply.

  “What’s up?” Felix squeezes my thigh for my attention.

  “It’s a traveling book club. They’ve invited me to join them on a bus trip and sign books and stuff,” I reply.

  “Is Dean or Kaye going?” he asks.

  “I don’t know if they’ve been invited. It sounds fun,” I say and shrug my shoulders.

  “Don’t worry about Dae-Dae. If you want to go, go,” he says.

  I suck my top lip into my mouth. I’m still not sure. I’m not the most outgoing person. This would totally be something Danny would do.

  Do it.

  I chant the words to myself. It’s for the fans. My readers have been so good to me. I’m humbled to even be given the offer in the first place.

  “Okay, I’ll do it,” I say into the phone.

  “Yay! I’ll send you the form to fill out. My partner will run your card so you’ll just place the information on the form and we’ll get you all set,” she says excitedly.

  I frown. I would much rather just send the money through PayPal. It would be easier and more secure.

  I go to say so, but my attention is broken when Felix stands to pull his shirt over his head. My computer pings next, drawing my attention. Kia is messaging me freaking out about her plot twist. I look at the time on the computer and I need to get going to pick up Dae-Dae and take him to his playdate.

  “Listen, I have to go. Can you email me that information and I’ll get it back to you as soon as I can,” I rush into the phone.

  “Okay, thank you again. I’m so excited about this,” she gushes.

  “Yes, me too. Thank you. Talk soon,” I say and hang up.

  * * *

  A Fan

  “Yes,” I pump my fist.

  She likes me.

  I think that went great. I think I named all the right authors to seal the deal. Once I share with some of the others that I have a rising star like Kaye I know they will sign.

  I call Lisa and wait for her to pick up. I look at my nails. I can get them done when Kaye sends the money. I already paid the rent with the money from the other three authors I’ve signed to the event.

  “Bitch,” I hiss at the phone when Lisa doesn’t pick up.

  She’s lucky I need her for this business stuff. That’s okay. I’ve got this. I send her a text instead.

  Me: Just locked down Kaye Blaze. We had a long talk again. She’s everything and more. I think we’re becoming great friends. Call me.

  I grin while hitting send. Placing my phone on the table in front of me I stare at it and wait for her to reply. I start to get pissed off when her reply doesn’t come in after two minutes.

  “Bitch,” I hiss again.

  I grab my laptop and log in to my Bonnie account. Technically, I’m not catfishing. I mean I’m not trying to date anybody or anything like that. So I’m not catfishing, right?

  Oh, who cares. The rent is paid and once I book one more author this week, I’ll get something more than tuna fish and beans for dinner.

  I click on Kaye Blaze’s profile and scroll through. She hasn’t posted much today. Oh, I know. I’ll message her to get her to share the event. That will get me more authors. Yes, nails, food, and maybe a movie this week.

  My phone finally buzzes beside me.

  Lisa: Wonderful. Will call you later. Dealing with my son’s homework.

  I wave her off and go back to surfing through some of the online book clubs. My eyes narrow when I see that Kaye Blaze replied to a reader in one of the groups. Their exchange is a bit long. That was five minutes ago.

  I thought she was in a rush.

  I click on the reader’s profile to see where she’s from and if Kaye knows her personally. I don’t find any connection, but I request the woman anyway. It’s best to look connected on social media.

  Julie Cummings. She’s nothing special.

  I inbox her a message anyway.

  Bonnie: Hey, girl.
I love your haircut. I saw you and thought to myself, I have to be friends with her. My daughter has been wanting to cut hers like that.

  I get up to warm my beans. I wonder what book I’ll get lost in today. Maybe a re-read of one of Kaye’s. Her men are so hot. Ross is my favorite.

  Yes, Ross it is.

  My computer chimes, breaking into my thoughts. I rush to the computer. It could be one of the authors I’ve been waiting on.

  Julie: Thanks. My sister does my hair. Your daughter should totally go for it. Love that book by Shyann by the way.

  I grin. I signed Shyann last week. I’ve been doing some online promoting for her since. My profile pic is of her books.

  Yes, I know people, bitch.

  Bonnie: Yes!! That book was fire. I told her it was going to be a hit. I’m on her BETA team. She struggled with the ending, but I was there for her. We were able to hash it out. It was amazing wasn’t it?

  Julie: Yes! That ending was fantastic. You’re going to make me go re-read that one. It’s been a while. I thought she didn’t use BETAs. I wanted to read for her.

  Shit!

  Shyann is one of the author’s that doesn’t use Betas. I forgot about that. I don’t know why not. We’re willing to give our time. Some of the books I’ve read weren’t worth the money they want me to spend. I only read them because I get them for free.

  Bonnie: Between you and me. She has a secret team. It’s not a lot of us.

  Julie: Oh, okay. Well, you are among the lucky. Nice talking. I need to get back to work. These people are driving me crazy.

  Bonnie: Yes, I need to help the kids with their homework. Talk to you later.

  A notification pops up to inform me that Julie has accepted my request. This is good. I can see more of her account now to see how she knows Kaye.

  Chapter 29

  Amen

  Kaye

  I still don’t know how my mother talked me into this. Here I sit in the front row like no time has passed and nothing has changed. A smile painted on my face, when I’m so far from smiling on the inside.

  Praise and worship is the only thing that’s helped me not to reveal how I’m feeling. I was able to get lot in God’s presence. It’s a presence I know. I’ve known it all my life.

  It hasn’t left me just because I haven’t been within these walls. In all honesty, I feel God whenever I write, when I pray with Dae-Dae, when I sit in the sand at the beach and watch the waves. God is always there.

  Only difference today is the fellowship that’s devoted to Him that heightens all of our awareness. I’ve been contemplative of this fact during the morning announcements. For all the sins my father would say I’ve committed, I can’t say that God has forsaken me once.

  If anything God has comforted me and pushed me forward in my darkest hours. The weeks before Felix found me, times when I didn’t want to bother Felix, but I was lonely and scared. God was there for me through all of that.

  I look down into my lap. I’ve sold thousands of books, touched the lives of so many. Does that make me so different from the man that stands in that pulpit?

  God says he’ll meet us where we’re at. If we are bound here how can we be out there to meet God’s people on their terms, in the places that make them comfortable? I can’t say that I’ve always been most comfortable in this church and I grew up in the house of the Lord.

  Even today, I have on a YSL black suit and red bottoms, dressed to the nines. My hair is straightened into a slack wrap and my nails are done to perfection. I’m the Pastor’s daughter and I look the role, but this isn’t me. Not really.

  “We’re here to celebrate our fifteenth family retreat. Family day has always been a special day here,” my father’s voice fills the church strong and steady, pushing into my thoughts.

  “I asked the Lord what I would speak on for this occasion and he started to talk to my spirit about foundation. Not just foundation, but strength. Strength that comes from wisdom. Strength that comes from love.

  “I said to the Lord. Yes, yes, that’s good. I can go there and…But the Lord cut me off. He said, Wayne, I need you to look at your foundation. I need you to go back. Remember the days before the man you’ve become.

  “So I sat in silence. I sat in silence because I realized that I was ready to get ahead of God and what he was trying to show me. And that’s when he began to reveal that I can get ahead of myself often.

  “I stood here many a times and told you all about my years on the streets. How I was placed in a foster home and I had to steal, lie, and do things I won’t mention here. I was a young man doing the only thing I knew to survive those streets. It was eat or be eaten.

  “I’m not proud of that. Compton almost claimed my life more than a few times. I started to pray to the Lord. I promised him that if he saved my life and got me off those streets I’d dedicate my life to him,” he pauses to take a drink.

  “Come on now, Pastor. Take your time,” one of the church mothers calls.

  “Alright now, preach,” someone in the back says.

  “Somehow, I survived and landed in a university with a scholarship. That was the beginning of my foundation. I used all my strength to get there.

  “I met the woman of my dreams in freshman orientation. Danesha was a fine young girl then just like she’s a fine woman now. I knew God made her just for me,” he says to the laughter of the congregation.

  “We dated through college and I married her as soon as I set a foundation for my family. It took strength to get through those first few years. We were young and had big dreams.

  “But you see, as God showed me where I’ve been, it began to reveal something to me. Danesha and I had to learn. We had to go through. We weren’t born with that strength or the wisdom that trails cultivated us through.

  “Come on, y’all. Ask your Pastor where he’s going,” he prompts.

  “Where you going, Pastor?” everyone says in unison.

  I turn to the deep voice to my left. Felix turns to me with an encouraging smile. I return it weakly before looking back down into my lap.

  “Jesus didn’t go fishing for nobody. Scripture says Jesus told them to go cast a hook and take up the first fish that cometh. He didn’t go catch that fish for them.

  “The miracle was in their participation to get that piece of money. Throughout the bible we see example after example of individuals that were participants in their own miracles.

  “Yet, I as a father, as a foundation setter, held onto my children too tightly. Instead of telling them to go borrow pots and not a few, so they could pour the oil until there were no more pots to fill, I tried to fill the pots for them. I didn’t allow them to stand before the king to make a request on their people’s behalf. I spoke for them.

  “I didn’t tell them to go get the fish and pull the gold from his mouth. I went fishing and I retrieved the gold and took care of their needs for them. I wanted to do it all for them. But that took away one intricate part of their experience in the Lord.

  “You see, they had no test to be a testimony. I held on so tight that I hindered their opportunities to stumble. And when they started to tug at that tight leash I strapped to them, it snapped back in my face,” he says.

  I wanted to get up and leave. I knew he would do this. This was why I didn’t want to come. I knew he would make a sermon out of me.

  Felix places a comforting hand over mine and I lace my fingers with his. He is my rock. My anchor in this moment when I want to shrink into myself.

  “I didn’t demonstrate strength, nor wisdom at the time. Instead, I became angry. Once again I got ahead of myself. I lost my son and my daughter in what seemed like one foul swoop.

  “Friends and family, something happens when you let anger be your guide. You lose sight of the truth that stands before you. You stop paying attention.

  “But the Lord walked me through my past to have me focus on my present and my future and I started to see some things clearly. Say what did you see, Pastor?” he co
axes.

  “What did you see, Pastor?” everyone replies.

  “That this revelation of strength and wisdom was not my own. This story belongs to my seed. My daughter is a woman with a heart as pure as gold. She is a woman that knows great sacrifice,” my head snaps up as his last words reach me.

  He’s looking down at me and our eyes meet. He nods his head at me and gives a smile. He continues his sermon, but his eyes remain on me.

  “I’m getting old and I’m set in my ways, but I’m still a man of discernment and my own wisdom. I also know when to say I’m wrong. Family, my daughter took a burden upon herself and rose from the ashes of it all like a true woman of God.

  “She’s a bestselling author—”

  “Alright now,” several people say as applauds erupt, causing him to pause.

  “She’s a bestselling author. An astonishing author. Now, I’m not talking reading for the faint of heart. Your Pastor did not suggest you purchase,” he chuckles.

  “You all buy her books with caution. She made her daddy blush to his toes. That young man sitting next to her is going to have to put a ring on it sooner rather than later, if he’s behind any of the inspiration,” my father jokes.

  I burst into laughter as tears roll down my cheeks. Felix squeezes my hand, leaning to kiss the top of my head. Everyone else laughs, murmuring around us.

  “My point is, while reading her work, I saw my beginning. I saw the lessons I learned to get up here to take on the young knock heads that need to turn their lives around. I saw the birth of my ministry as I set my eyes upon the birth of Kaye’s.

  “I saw strength and wisdom. I’m a proud father to say that I’m watching her set her foundation. Baby girl, I may not know it all and I may not know the why, but I know what you did.

  “We don’t have to stumble through this life the same, but it’s important that we stumble. You young lady stumbled into greatness. If I removed all of the passionate moments from your works you would still have a touch that changes lives through words.