by J. M. Clark
Sirus allowed silence to hang over those words. He loved the intensity of the moment, knowing that Kyle had no idea if he would be sent back to the Palace or allowed to leave. This filled Sirus with glee, and he allowed the silence to continue, certain that Kyle was too shocked to respond in any way.
“Get out of here, and good luck on your journey outside of the Palace,” Sirus said from the dark corner of his office. Kyle opened the door, and just as he began to step out into the hallway, Sirus spoke once more.
“Kyle!” He paused. “Your secret is safe with me.”
The newly ascending Palace Member turned his head slightly. “Thank you Sirus, sir.” He then stepped out into the hallway, quietly closing the door behind him. Sirus grinned as he made his way back to the desk area and gave the golden globe on his desk a spin.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Jacob
Jacob sat, not paying attention to his morning enrichment class, thinking about the plan he and Mary had been going over for the last few days. It was a no-nonsense plan, but it was something. They decided that someday soon, when the chance presented itself, they would leave the Palace area through the east exit. There were no security guards at that door, but there were some guards just outside of the courtyard. Mary had taken Jacob to the eastern side of the courtyard, where there was a cluster of trees near a small creek area. There was only one security guard outside of that area. In the evening, he would have an hour break, but no one took his place for that duration.
Yesterday they’d stayed in the courtyard for a good two hours, constantly going into the cluster of trees, waiting to see exactly when the guard would leave his post. The sun was just beginning to fall when the guard spoke into his walkie-talkie, gave a last few looks over the area, and then walked around to the front of the Palace.
From that area, they would be able to make a run past the red flag, past the quarantine radius. The darkness should shield them from sight, but even if they were noticed, it would be too late to be caught before they got to the forest area. Then it would just become a game of hide and seek.
Mary still seemed to be nervous about the entire thing, but that was to be expected. She had never been out in the real world. Everything she knew and understood of the world was fed to her in the Palace. When they went over their plan, she would hold on to his hand, and at times he could feel her tremble. She maintained that if he was going, then she was going with him.
The behavior of the guard in the central plaza had proved to Jacob that things weren’t the way the teachers said they were on the outside. According to the Order, the people were here by choice because they wanted to stay safe, not because the Order would not allow them to leave. The two things were very different. Jacob felt if he wanted to throw his life away by walking past the quarantine area, then that choice should be his to make. But low and behold, a guard had stopped him from leaving through the main exit.
Jacob sat there as Teacher Andrew droned on and on about Mother Earth’s love and how lucky they were to be alive today. He scribbled in his notepad, but not notes on the topic. Jacob instead wrote down the names of all the friends and family he’d lost so long ago.
From time to time, he would write those names, keeping them in his memory. It was easy to forget about the world before it all went to hell. He knew that his mother and father had passed, he’d been there to see that. There were others though. People whose fate he wasn’t sure about. Leanne of course, and his best friend, Logan. Friends from school, people he didn’t speak to much, neighbors. In his mind, he thought writing the names kept them alive in some shape or form.
It was a bad idea to keep your hopes up with things like this. The Order was misleading them about some things, but the ferocity of the sickness all those years ago was not one of them. He saw it with his own eyes. He remembered thinking he was the only living person on his street as he sat with his back to his parents’ bedroom door, crying like a baby. It was still embarrassing for him to think about; he’d been a coward in that moment. He would not be a coward this time around.
He would risk trying to escape. The word sounded odd in his head: “escape.” That was never supposed to be the case here, but Jacob now believed he was living inside of a well-kept prison that fed some desires while trying to rid you of others. It all felt wrong to him.
The enrichment class ended just as Jacob began to fall asleep. He didn’t even care anymore to stay awake. Leaving the Palace was within his reach, and he would be leaving with Mary. He did love her—and they had made love every day since they’d both said the words. He taught her that phrase, “making love.” She enjoyed saying it.
Jacob gathered his things and gave Teacher Andrew a wave goodbye as he made his way through the door leading out into the hallway. That’s when he heard a voice that sounded like Trevor’s. There were people running in the direction of a different morning enrichment class still in session. Jacob approached the crowd forming outside of the room. People chatted back and forth, concerned looks written all over their faces.
Making his way through the crowd of about twenty people, Jacob was able to get in the doorway of the morning enrichment class and found that it was just as he thought. Trevor stood in the middle of class, screaming at the top of his lungs. His eyes were burning with rage, his nostrils flared, and the veins in his neck looked as if they would burst through his skin if he screamed any louder. Jacob had never seen Trevor like this. Everyone in the room was backed against the wall. Teacher Paul stood in front of them with his arms outstretched, as if he could protect everyone with his own body.
It was hard to make out the words Trevor roared at the group. His anger wasn’t directed at anyone in particular. Everyone who could hear was meant to feel his plight.
“What the hell is wrong with all of you people! Can’t you see what they are doing to us? My wife is dead, and no one is doing anything about it.” Trevor bounded around the room with his fist balled at his sides. He was so angry that steam should have been shooting from his ears.
Jacob moved through the doorway and stepped into the room. Trevor didn’t notice him there; he just went on terrorizing everyone.
“They can just tell us whatever they want, and they know we will believe it. This is exactly the way the Old World was—we just began to believe everything the government told us, and they ruled everything with fear. You have to listen to me, I’m not crazy. I don’t have a reason to live anymore.”
Trevor stopped pacing and put both hands over his face, crying. “She’s gone. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what they do to me. They can kill me, they can banish me…what fuckin’ difference does it make?” Trevor stood there, staring at Teacher Paul, pointing at him. “You know what’s going on here, you bastard.” He started toward the teacher.
“Hey there, buddy, are you okay?” Jacob stepped into Trevor’s view with both hands up, his palms out in a non-aggressive stance. He knew Trevor was a military man, and he didn’t want to set him off any more than he already was.
Trevor looked at Jacob and smiled, shaking his head as if he knew this would happen.
“This guy here, this guy is with me. This is my friend. He knows stuff is messed up here too. Just ask him, he’ll tell you,” Trevor said, pointing in Jacob’s direction.
“I am most definitely your friend, Trevor. Can I get you to come out here with me? I’d like to talk to you about something. C’mon, man.” Jacob took a few more steps toward Trevor, hoping to get an arm around him and lead him out of the area. Trevor was an older man and had lost a lot; he hadn’t taken the losses as well as others in the Palace.
Shaking his head, Trevor started toward Teacher Paul again. “No, I’m not done saying what I have to say, old friend. I’ve been waiting to say this since we pulled up to this hunk of steel in those stupid white vans, and today is as good a day as any.
“You all think this is some kind of utopian place or something like that—you think it’s so great, don’t you!” he sc
reamed at the people behind Jacob. “It’s not. They are lying to us all. They set this all up, the US Government, probably with the help of the shadow government. Population control. Tell the truth, Paul. You know it.”
He began wagging his finger at the small, balding man. Trevor was in such a rage, every word out of his mouth was followed by spittle flying off his lips. He looked like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth, snarling at everyone in the area. By this point, the crowd outside the room had doubled.
Jacob closed the distance between himself and Trevor, moving faster than he had since he was a young man. He needed to get close while Trevor’s attention was on Teacher Paul. Jacob grabbed his arm. For a man in his late sixties, Trevor still had a sturdiness to him. Jacob could feel that. Trevor knocked his hand down and stepped back.
“Don’t you put your hands on me. I told you that I’m going to tell everyone what they need to hear. Someone has to stand up against tyranny. DON’T TREAD ON ME!” Trevor yelled as he saluted Jacob. Tears spilled over his eyes, the wear and tear from the past years showing all over his face. The sight made Jacob feel terrible for his old friend. He didn’t want people to see him that way.
“That’s what the Old World was built on, at least in the United States of America. I have a right as a citizen of this country to protect the men, women, and children from all threats, whether those threats come from foreign or domestic parties. I TOOK AN OATH, DAMMIT!” Trevor snapped at Teacher Paul and the Palace members cowering behind him. The people looked on, horrified at what was transpiring right before their eyes.
There were older Palace members in the room who, while far removed from outburst and anger, seemed to understand Trevor’s point as they looked on with knowing expressions. The younger Palace-born faces became masks of pure terror; this was obviously a shock to their system. Trevor seemed to be feeding on this fact. The more scared they became, the louder and angrier he got.
Just as he started yelling again, three security guards in black came rushing into the room, almost knocking Jacob to the ground. They had guns drawn, yelling for Trevor to get down. “Get on the ground, sir, or we will neutralize you! For the safety of yourself and everyone here, get on the ground NOW!” the guard in front said as he pointed what looked like a shotgun at Trevor’s midsection. The man cocked the gun and took small steps toward Jacob’s old friend.
One of the other guards grabbed Jacob roughly by the shirt and pushed him back toward the entrance of the room. “Get out in the hallway, right now!” the man screamed at him. Jacob didn’t move; he was frozen to the spot. He had not seen a gun drawn since he was close to sixteen years old, when his grandfather took him to Target World to shoot a pistol for his birthday. What if they kill Trevor?
Jacob could feel someone pulling his collar and arm from the back. He didn’t know who it was, and he didn’t care to look. His eyes were fixed on what was happening in the room.
Trevor lunged at the first guard, the one with the shotgun pointed at his chest. The retired military man had a crazed look on his face, lips peeled back from his teeth like a wild animal going for the kill. Everything happened in slow motion: the other two guards moving toward Trevor, Jacob reaching out to try to help his friend as he was being pulled away by someone in the hallway.
Before Jacob was swept away in a sea of Palace members and teachers, there was time enough to watch his good friend get knocked out by the butt of a shotgun. He supposed that was better than the alternative. Things were changing in the Palace, and Jacob had felt it coming long ago. He was surprised it hadn’t happened years before. Better late than never, he thought as he got lost in the screaming crowd of people.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Mary
Thank you for breathing life into every man, woman, child, and lifeform that you have deemed fit to walk on your skin, drink of your bosom, and eat of your fruit. We are thankful, and we shall never take your gifts for granted, O Merciful Mother Earth. Amen. Mary spoke the prayer in her mind while walking down the hall with the others to the child center. She was in the back of the group, wanting to see the child center and wanting to run away at the same time. She knew it would be the last time.
Mary was not scheduled to come to the child center that day. She’d lied to Teacher Mathew, told him she needed extra time to observe behavior patterns among the smaller children compared to the older ones for research purposes. He had welcomed her with open arms.
The time to leave the Palace forever was coming soon, and a part of her needed this. A big part. She needed to see them one last time. She wanted to say goodbye to them and see how they were developing. This curiosity felt natural to her, almost as if she were looking over them as they grew…in the only way she could.
Mary didn’t understand why this was important to her, but it always had been. She knew both their faces, the subtle differences in their hair color, the way their eyes sparkled—she noticed it all. A beautiful boy and a girl—they were a part of her, and that link seemed to be hard to break, at least in her head. They likely did not think of her at all. She never thought of her own birth mother or father.
After giving birth to each child, Mary visited the child center whenever she could, trying to memorize every aspect of them, giving them names in her head. She named them Todd and Nancy. She’d read a book when she was little that had characters with those names, and she liked them. It felt right to her, without even knowing why. She’d named them instinctively.
Now standing in the observation room, she knew exactly where both of her children were. They were always in the same groups, and rarely had she seen them play or communicate with each other. They didn’t know they were siblings, just like any sibling in the child center. Keeping up with the goings-on of the children was a regular part of this morning enrichment class. Teacher Mathew spoke to the other Palace members about the different children and the strides they were making in the arena of self-confidence and independence.
Mary dismissively smiled at this notion, turning away from her group and gazing into the child center. She had grown up in this place and, even at her age, she remained a ball of self-doubt and anxiety whenever she thought back on her childhood. Jacob helped to make her feel whole; she felt complete when she was with him. This was part of the reason she enjoyed what they had together.
There was Nancy. Mary felt her knees begin to give, and she placed her hand on the wall, holding herself up. Looking at Nancy was like looking at a replica of her younger self. Long dark hair flowed and bounced behind the little girl as she ran and played. Mary couldn’t see it today because of the shirt she was wearing, but she had spotted a shared birthmark on previous visits, the one on her daughter’s right shoulder. Mary wanted to break through the glass and touch her, hug her, feel her. If only she could.
The tear forming in her left eye had to be held back, because she should not be emotional about this. If she became emotional about a random child, then Teacher Mathew and the others would think she were suffering from a stress attack. They would not be able to fathom that she loved the children that came from her own womb. Mary touched the corner of her eye, destroying the tear before it got the chance to escape.
Turning around to the opposite window of the survey room, Mary walked over and placed her face against the glass, hoping to see her son playing in the corner where he could frequently be found. He wasn’t there. She looked at other areas of the child center, but still didn’t see him. What if I can’t find him? Or what if he is sleeping or not feeling well? she thought to herself, knowing this was her last chance to see them. Things could not be changed in the Palace, but leaving with Jacob could be the beginning of a whole new life. This provided a certain level of solace for her.
Just as Mary decided to stop looking and make her way back to the group before her poor body language and lack of interest became too noticeable, Todd came out of the cafeteria. She shared no birthmark with him, but he belonged to her…a mother just knew. Mary saw herself in his face and
his eyes. Saw the features and mannerisms that he shared with his sister. His face was puffy and red, as though he had just finished crying. The sight of him being sad made her heart hurt. She knew how cruel some of the kids could be in the child center, especially when they didn’t think the watchers were around.
Mary hastily moved back to the window area, placing her hand on it, longing to touch him. To wrap him in her arms, kiss his face, and tell him that everything would be alright. She could remember times in the child center where she felt so alone. Now she knew what had been missing from her life. It was having a mother, a father—someone who cared specifically for her. Not the group, but her.
Todd walked around the play area, kicking small toys as he moped around, trying to get someone’s attention. But no one came. No one ever came. Like Mary had, he would soon realize that, and that’s when the self-soothing would begin, which could manifest itself in harmful ways as he got older. These things were known in the Palace, people talked.
Mary watched him until he moved away from her field of vision, and even then, she lingered near that window, hoping he would pass by again. This was the last time, after all. He never did come back. He had probably already forgotten what he was upset about and was busy playing without a care in the world. That’s what kids did though. Short memories were good for that.
Teacher Mathew was rounding up everyone in the survey room to begin taking inventory of changes they saw in each of the children since the last time they were here. Watching her children was great, and she needed to do this once more before she could leave. But too much watching could become detrimental; it was best to pull herself away from the glass windows before she dissolved into a crying heap of flesh for all to see.
