by Lauren Wood
“Work is fine. I have just had a lot of writer’s block since I have been here. It is different in the city. It is a lot louder and sometimes it is just hard to write. I am getting used to it though. It just takes time.”
“I told you that you should have stayed at home. I don’t know what you think you were going to prove coming here, but I want you to come home.”
“That isn’t why you came, is it?”
She looked like it was the very reason that she had come to see me and there was nothing that I could do to change her mind.
“Eve, you have been here for weeks and as you said, everything isn’t what you thought it would be. It is time to come home. You are missed.”
There was a part of me that wanted to leave the city. It had been harder than I had ever thought it would be to be alone here, but the other part of me was still in bed with Carlos and knew that there was an upside to it as well. I couldn’t tell her about him. My mother would never approve, but that didn’t mean that I was going to go with her plans either.
“I miss you guys too, but I am not going home. I like my job and my apartment. I just need time to adjust, which I am.”
She looked at me as if I had stolen her last five dollars and there was nothing that I could do to change that. My mother wasn’t one that would ever say she was wrong, so I knew that I wasn’t going to get her approval. Although I finally realized after all of this time, maybe I didn’t need it. I was getting older after all.
Chapter 11
Carlos
I woke up to the sound of the door opening. My mind went to the last few hours with Eve and even though we were both tired, I wanted more when I heard her come in. I wasn’t thinking about anything else but getting her in my arms again.
Getting up from the bed, I moved to the door and opened it. I didn’t have anything on, a state of being that she was into and walked towards the front door. It took me several moments to realize a few things. The first thing was that she was not alone. There were a couple of people with her and one of them was an older woman that didn’t take much to guess was her mother. The resemblance was too much to discount and the way her eyes fell on me was enough to tell me that I had messed up big time.
“Carlos!”
I turned to Eve and I was stunned. Why didn’t she tell me that she was going to have company? As soon as I thought it though, I knew that something had been sprung on her. She was not the type of girl that wanted to get caught. When I heard the line of words that came from her mom, I knew why. Making my retreat to her bedroom to put my clothes on, I knew that I was in the middle of something that I didn’t want to be in. I didn’t have time for all of this drama.
“What are you doing Eve? Who is that? Is that why you didn’t answer your phone and haven’t done your work? He looks like a…”
I paused on the other side of the closed door and listened to what I was. It wasn’t very original but it felt like a barb from a woman like her.
“How could you do this? After everything we have taught you?”
I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I wanted to get out of there. It was clear that I wasn’t wanted there and the lack of comeback from Eve bothered me more than I would ever admit. She didn’t stand up for me in the least bit and worse than that, she actually apologized for me being there.
When I got out of the bedroom dressed, the leather jacket and earrings made the older woman look at me as if I was going to murder her right then and there. I made a step towards her to hear her make a sound and smiled at her. It was wrong, I know, but so was her judgment. She didn’t even know me. Eve did and she said nothing while it was all being said. I suddenly knew where I stood and I would be the first to admit that I wasn’t happy about it. The feelings that I had when I first woke up were gone, evaporated into nothing as I shut the door to leave.
I cursed under my breath as I made my way upstairs to my own apartment. The day didn’t look so bright anymore and if I was honest with myself, I just wanted to go back to sleep and see if it would get better. But I had work to do, so instead of wallowing, an act I had not perfected, I went to the kitchen and poured a half a glass. That was what I knew and I welcomed the burn to my throat. I would forget about her like I had forgotten about every other woman after I was with them. The only problem was that she was a neighbor and I would have to see her again.
***
“So what has been going on with you Carlos?”
I shrugged and told Joel that nothing was going on.
“Have you talked to Eve?”
My face changed and I looked away. I hadn’t seen or heard from her in well over a week and I wasn’t even sure if I would again. The first couple of days I had stayed away, sleeping at the bar and working at the shop when I could. I didn’t even go home and it was only when I wanted my actual bed that I made my way home. Turning the music on high, I had gone to sleep just like that, oblivious to the world around me.
“No, I haven’t seen her in a while. You were the one that liked her.”
Joel made a sound that I didn’t quite understand. I had a feeling that he wanted her as badly as I had. I couldn’t tell him that she wasn’t worth it, because even with everything that had happened, I still wanted her. Even though she had looked at me as if I was the criminal that her mother claimed I was, I still thought about her every night when I went to bed alone. I missed her, but I would never admit it to myself, let alone another person.
“I know that you had something with her Carlos. I’m not stupid. You took her home that night and everything changed. I haven’t gotten ahold of her since, so I know that you two were together.”
“It wasn’t then, but once. Don’t worry though. I am not her type. She made it clear that I wasn’t good enough for her when her parents showed up unannounced.”
“Her parents are very religious. Did you meet them?”
It made a little more sense when he said that. I kind of knew that there was a reason for the reaction, but I hadn’t considered that one. I was just thinking that I looked a little rough, but if it would have been anyone, I had to believe that the reactions would have been much of the same.
“Religious huh?”
Joel nodded his head. “Yeah, from what she told me they pretty much dictated her life. That is why she came to the city, to get away from them, but they have a hold on her. Family does that sometimes.”
I didn’t hear him much after that. My cousin kept talking, but I was no longer hearing him. It made me realize that I was the one that wasn’t making any sense. Why had I just given up so easily when I knew that there was something special about Eve, something right between us? I should have had more confidence, although with her it had always been a little different. I had never felt like myself fully with her. It was always held back some.
“How do you know all of this about her? I thought you only went out a couple of times?”
“We did, but I asked. She had a very interesting life. What did you guys talk about?”
Not a lot of anything and if I had had my way, we wouldn’t have talked as much as we did. I wanted nothing more than to put her face down and pound her from the moment I saw her. That was part of the reason that we hadn’t talked, that and the fact that it wasn’t my style.
“I don’t know now. I guess I didn’t ask her anything about her past cause I just didn’t care.”
Joel just shook his head like I was an idiot and maybe I was. “Man, she is different.”
I had to agree with him, if not for only in my head. There was definitely something different about Eve. She had always been special to me.
“I know. She is.”
Joel looked at me and then smiled. “I knew that she was something special and when I met her I knew that she would be for you. I wanted her, but I knew that I wasn’t going to be the one. I tried, but she wasn’t going for it.”
There was a moment of anger when Joel told me that he had tried with her, but it was surpassed by the feeling th
at she hadn’t wanted him. Had it really been that clear to him and so hard for me to understand? I didn’t like to think of it that way, but I had a feeling that it was the way that it was. I had been blinded when it came to Eve, to any woman. No one had ever made me feel before and now that I had, I didn’t want to stop it. I liked the way it felt when we were together. Now I wanted her back.
“She didn’t want to go for it either with me and then all of it changed. She made up her mind. I didn’t have to make it up for her.”
Joel just shook his head and I could see that he wanted to be the one. I felt different knowing that I had been chosen. Now all I wanted to do was get her back, I just wasn’t sure how I was going to. I was just going to have to convince her that I wasn’t that bad of a guy. If she wanted her family’s approval, then I was just going to have to figure out a way to get it, one way or another.
Chapter 12
Eve
Back home was just as boring as I remembered it. It was comfortable and what I was used to. It was good and it was bad all at the same time. I was back to the quiet little life that I had gotten away from. It was a state of peace that I had yearned for when I was in the city, but now it was too quiet. My mind was overpowered and I wished for the noise and the hustle and bustle to steady the thoughts in my head.
“Eve, why are you just standing there? We have a lot of things to get done today.”
I sighed and turned towards my sister. She was a year older than me and married the proper way, to the proper man. Her husband was sanctioned by our parents. They had courted, took their time and finally took the next step. I was never one to do things right, but after the fiasco with Carlos I didn’t have a choice but to leave. There was no part of me staying that would have ended well.
So I was back to this life and it was already boring me to tears. I followed Constance to the small church that wasn’t but a quarter of a mile from the front door. I had been offered up to the church to help with a fundraiser that was going on. They were collecting non-perishables for their outreach program and I was forced to participate. Though I was a writer by trade, here in Watertown I was just the girl that made good cupcakes. So I was tasked to make several hundred to sell for charity. I didn’t mind it, but it was hard to think that this was the most exciting thing that I had done all week. That was the worst part, that my life had been reduced to this.
“Ever since you have been back, you aren’t really here.”
She sounded worried and knowing her, she was. Constance never did understand why I would want to do anything differently than what was expected me. She had found so much happiness in that, she couldn’t fathom why anyone else wouldn’t. It didn’t matter how many times I had tried to tell her that this life was never for me. Constance would never understand and that was why we had never been as close as I had hoped we would be.
“I’m here, going to church like I was asked to.”
“Well okay, you are here, but maybe it is just so clear that you don’t want to be here.”
“I never did. That was why I went to college and left, so I wouldn’t be here my whole life.”
“Marcus has been asking about you since you got back. You remember him, don’t you?”
I did and I told her I did, but I didn’t like the implications to what she was saying. I had been set up enough the last few years and I wasn’t trying to jump into that deep end again. Not knowing what I know now. Now I wouldn’t even be able to think of Marcus in any other way but inferior to a man like Carlos. While Carlos was a lot of things, good and bad, he was all male and that was something hard to find anywhere.
Thinking about him, made me miss him and there was a part of me that wanted to go right back into the danger zone. I hadn’t handled it all well, but I was just taken aback and I hadn’t been expecting that all to happen. Maybe in my nightmares and the way I had acted was just an honest reaction. I froze, unable to think of what to say or what to do. When it forced for me to leave the city, I just did, too embarrassed to want to stick around and see what would have happened next.
“See there you go again.”
“What?”
“You have a faraway look in your eyes and you aren’t even listening.”
Apologizing, I asked her to repeat herself, but we were already at the church and it was no longer wise to talk about much of anything. There were ears all over and anything that was said or done, the rest of the town would know about it by the end of the day. Another thing I missed about the city was the anonymity of having so many other people around. There I could just blend in and not worry too much about everything that I say or do. It is not that way here and I was reminded of that when I heard a faint whisper behind me as I walked in. I had to imagine that more than I would have liked was already known about my life.
“We will talk later sister, when there are less people around to hear us.”
She knew that I was asking for her to drop it. I still didn’t even know what it was that I would say to her. I did know that it wasn’t going to be that hard to keep my thoughts to myself. I had a lot of work to do and with everyone having their own assignments to do, it was easy to fall into a routine. I had missed baking and things of that nature, but there was only one place that I missed at the moment, only one man that filled my thoughts a bit too much.
***
The walk home was almost as quiet as the day had been. I was tired and Constance was thinking about what she had to do when she got home. She spoke a little about it as we walked out loud, but the conversation that had been halted earlier was not picked back up. I was thankful for that small mercy.
“I will see you tomorrow Eve. We have to set up the booths.”
“Okay Connie, I will see you tomorrow.”
“Then we will talk about what is going on with you. I still haven’t heard about what happened in the city and why you came back.”
“Surprised mom hasn’t told you.”
She shook her head and told me that mom refused. It was because she was embarrassed by my actions. To her it looked bad on her and I doubted that she wanted anyone else to know. But I heard the whispers, I know that people were talking about it and coming up with their own reasons.
“I want to hear it from you. Something has changed in you Eve and I want to know what it is.”
I watched Constance go to her own house a few doors down from my parents. They had bought the house for her and her new husband as a wedding gift. I knew that they were planning the same thing for me, if only I would fall into their cookie-cutter life plan that had for me. I didn’t want that though, never really had since I was old enough to realize that there was other choices to make. I wanted the right to my own choice.
Going in the house, I had a bit of determination in me and I thought I had finally come to a conclusion about what I was going to do. I had to stand up to her and just tell her that I wasn’t going to be able to do what she wanted. She was already hinting at new beaus for me and I was going to have to tell her if she wanted me to stay in Watertown I was going to have to be able to make my own decisions. I was an adult after all.
But I got about three steps in the door and stopped. What was he doing here?
“Eve dear, you have a visitor.”
I knew that I did. I could see Carlos from the door sitting on the living room sofa like he was supposed to be there. The leather jacket was gone and it was replaced with what I was sure he thought he was supposed to wear. A button down didn’t look right on him. Neither did the clean-shaven face in front of me. Everything about him was different, except the look in his dark eyes when ours eyes finally met. That part of him was the same and I was already tingling inside with the idea of what he wanted to do to me and what I wanted him to do to me.
“Um, what are you doing here Carlos?”
He smiled and made a point to not look at my parents. I was confused and when my mother chimed in with the answer, I was even more dazed.
“He is here to ask you som
ething Eve. Me and your father are going to go in the other room. I am sure you have some catching up to do.”
Watching her leave, my mother actually winked at me when I passed by her. It was the strangest thing that I could have seen and I was sure that something was wrong with her. Why was she suddenly okay with Carlos? What had he said to her? Had he put the same voodoo on her as he had on me? There was just something about him that couldn’t be denied.
“What are you doing here?”
“You left.”
It was a simple answer, but one that I wasn’t really ready to process. Why did he say it like that? Like I had a reason to stay that involved in him.
“I left because things got complicated. That doesn’t tell me why you are here right now. Why are you at my parent’s house and why does my mother like you all of a sudden? Why are you dressed like that?”
He stood up and I backed away a few steps. “I thought that your mother would like me like this better and I was right. I am here for you Eve. I thought it was clear.”
Carlos kept coming closer and I could feel my body weakening. I wanted him to touch me, kiss me. I wanted to be in his arms again, but I knew that I shouldn’t. He was bad news and just because he had shaved and put on a button down, didn’t mean that it was changed. He hadn’t changed at all.
“What are you doing here?”
“I told you Eve, I am here for you.”
I found myself backed against the coffee table and I wasn’t able to sidestep it before he was upon me. I felt his hands on my shoulders and he made me look at him. “What do you want from me Carlos?”
“I want you. That’s all.”
He moved to kiss me and my eyes fluttered shut. How could I tell a man like him no? I didn’t want to and there was no part of me that could actually say it. His lips were soft on mine, but just as insistent as he had been before. My body was ready to explode with just one touch. I didn’t think that I could ever get enough of him, even if he was too much all at the same time. Everything with Carlos was wrong and right, all at the same time. It was more than a little confusing and I pushed away from him before I was in the state I had been in before.
