by Ruth Dugdall
Beside her, Daniel looks handsome, smart in his suit. When he was in the witness box, I saw how the female jurors looked at him and felt a stab of anxiety before I told myself he’s mine, he’s been faithful to me all along. I never need to worry about him straying – I know he won’t leave me now.
Of everyone, Dad looks the most worn down. Ash and Janet have taken turns to sit beside him, faithful as ever. He catches my eye and smiles stoically, but I can tell he’s not sure this will all work out well. How can we trust twelve strangers to affirm the truth when it’s so obscure? Guilt or innocence aren’t as straightforward as lawyers would have us believe.
But Rupert Jackson says Holly’s testimony will swing it our way. She cried when she told the story of that Halloween, of how I was shot by her brother. How, even then, I didn’t wake. No one could doubt her testimony. I catch Daniel’s eye and we share a moment. There’s honesty between us now, and trust.
Our relationship has never been stronger.
As I waited to fall asleep in the hospital bed, he told me everything. How he arrived that Saturday morning in the blurred dawn, a lone car crossing the plain, headlights strafing the far field, before he pulled into the farm, bathed red by the spreading glow of the rising sun. The door was, as always, unlocked.
Everyone else was asleep. He paused at my door, then continued to yours. You were shocked to see him, but he calmed you.
‘It’s me, Maya. It’s Daniel.’
But you were angry: ‘Get out of my bedroom! What the hell are you doing here?’
He just wanted to talk, just wanted you to see sense and destroy the contract I’d told him you’d signed. You wouldn’t listen, so he went to the study, where he knew the contract must be. He didn’t even notice the gun cupboard was hanging open.
You pounced out of bed, still in your red silk nightdress, furious. I can imagine this – you hated anyone going in your study.
‘Please, Maya,’ Daniel begged, ‘let’s talk about this. Think about how the Spa will help people . . .’
‘Help?’ you taunted him. ‘You’re a quack! I’m going to expose you for the fraud you are.’
Even hearing the story second-hand, I was shocked that you’d said this – so unfair of you. You know how hard Daniel works to help people. It was the hospital results, of course, that turned your mind against him. But how could Daniel be blamed for the failure of your body to fight the cancer cells? You always believed that other people were responsible for anything bad that happened, didn’t you, Mum? But you were just unlucky.
Another shock was coming: you weren’t alone in blaming Daniel for a returning cancer. You said her name: Monica.
Daniel could barely speak. ‘How do you know about her?’
‘Alfie Avon told me,’ you said. ‘She’s his ex-wife – their marriage was destroyed by the stress you and your false claims caused. It’s over, Daniel. I’m not going to let you ruin anyone else’s chance for survival.’
You took the gun from the cabinet. A farmer’s daughter, you weren’t afraid. ‘Now get out of my house, you fraud!’
You forced him down the stairs. It was then that I appeared at the top. Still asleep, dressed in the clothes I’d gone to bed in. Who knows what my somnambular brain made of my mother pointing a gun at my lover. I was dreaming, and in that barely conscious state I protected the person I loved most.
I tried to grab the gun from you, and there was a struggle. The gun was in Daniel’s hand when it fired the fatal shot, knocking you into a coma from which you’d never wake. It was an accident. But who would believe that? He’d arrived at the house to confront you; he had a motive. He had to think quickly.
I was no good to him, I was still asleep, so he walked me back upstairs, stripped me of my bloody clothes and returned me to bed. Then he woke Dad, and told him I’d shot you in my sleep. Janet and Ash arrived and were told the same story, and they all agreed to say you’d attempted suicide. Everyone was willing to lie, to protect me.
But really, Mum, they were protecting Daniel. And now I’m protecting him too.
A buzzer sounds in the courtroom, and Rupert Jackson throws me a quick look, the barristers tug their wigs straight and everyone looks attentive. A wooden door swings open, and the twelve jurors enter in a long line. Some look at me, others definitely don’t.
Victoria leans over the balustrade and Daniel touches her arm, to pull her back. Dad nurses his bad hand and Ash says something. They’re my family – I will never question their love again.
The judge enters, looking for all the world as if he’s waiting for a doctor, or a bus. He’s weary, his life won’t be altered by whatever the jury has decided, it’s just another day at work for him. The black-cloaked usher collects a slip of paper from the foreman, hands it up to him. He reads it with a resignation that suggests the bus has been delayed and he’s not surprised. The foreman stands. He’s one of the few people in the courtroom who looks at me; he wants to be acknowledged. Whatever the piece of paper says, he had no doubts.
‘Members of the jury, have you reached your verdict?’
‘We have, Your Honour.’
‘And how do you find the defendant?’
The usher pauses, enjoying his moment of importance. Then, ‘Not guilty.’
I really am innocent after all. The person most responsible for your death, Mum, was you.
48
Holly
The drive towards Kenley looked the same as it had last November, though just before the turning for Innocence Lane, there was a new addition: a sign, six feet high, navy blue, with silver writing that announced SAMPHIRE HEALTH SPA. Holly took the turning, and felt the change. For a start, the stench of pigs was gone, and the hedges had been trimmed along the lane.
The entrance had been levelled and white gravel crunched beneath the car wheels. Parking spaces were indicated by the positioning of olive trees in terracotta pots, and Holly pulled her Fiat 500 to a stop. The other cars in the car park were a BMW and an Audi. The entrance was sentinelled by lit candles in hurricane lamps and the door was a blue to match the signage. Each of the windows was gleaming, and the whole atmosphere was luxurious and tranquil. Holly left her car, and walked towards the entrance. She noticed, in the corner of the porch, a CCTV camera.
The brass handle was huge, and she pushed the door open, stepping forward onto a carpet so deep it was like stepping into sand. The mahogany reception table had been restored to its former shining glory. On it stood an old-fashioned brass bell with a sign, PLEASE RING TO NOTIFY STAFF OF YOUR ARRIVAL. Holly ignored the instruction and walked along the hallway. To the left was the front room, where she’d sat with Cassandra, just hours after the shooting. Two women and a man in navy towelling robes sat on velvet sofas, sipping water and leafing through thick magazines. One woman looked up; Holly smiled and moved away.
Daniel was walking towards her. ‘Holly, so good to see you – welcome to Samphire!’ Presumably the camera had informed him of her arrival as she hadn’t pressed the buzzer. ‘Looks a bit different from when you were last here, doesn’t it?’
‘Yes,’ agreed Holly, ‘much plusher.’ She hadn’t been here since the trial had concluded, even though Cass had sent her an invite for the opening weekend. ‘You’ve really transformed the place.’
‘Book a spa day, then you can experience it first-hand,’ he said pleasantly. ‘I’ll give you a Swedish massage, all on the house. We’re very grateful to you, Holly – some Samphire Master Magic is the least you deserve.’
Holly felt distinctly uncomfortable; she hoped it didn’t show. ‘How’s Cass?’
‘She’s grand: happy that we can move on with our lives. We’ll go and find her – she’s upstairs in the office.’
‘I’d like to see Hector too, if he’s around?’
‘Of course he is. The old boy never really leaves the grounds since losing Maya. Come on, we can go and see him first.’
She followed Daniel down the hallway, and through to what had once been th
e farmhouse kitchen but was now a conservatory with low beds, each with a throw folded on the end. ‘This is our sleep room,’ he whispered, gesturing to one bed, where a curled shape was covered by a white blanket, bar the top of a blonde head. Candles had been lit in lanterns around the room, and sage incense was burning. Quietly, Holly followed Daniel through what was once the back door, but was now a bifold window that led to an herb garden, with benches placed strategically for clients to sit and take in the ambience. They crossed the garden and Holly realised where they were heading.
‘The barn?’
‘It’s been converted, it’s where Hector lives now. Cass, Tori and I live in the main house.’
The chickens were gone, the barn was no longer a place of straw and bird shit. It was now a single-storey home, Dutch-barn style and clad in black timber. Daniel didn’t knock, just walked directly through the door into the front room. Where the barn wall had once been was a picture window looking out onto the copse at the back. The room was spartan and plain, and Holly thought it rather soulless.
There was a sharp bark and a black spaniel rushed forward to greet her. ‘Hi, Jet, do you remember me?’ He pushed his nose into her leg, wagging his tail. Yes, he clearly did.
Seated on the far end of the sofa, facing the copse but not seeming to see it, was Hector. He was still wearing his dressing gown, though it was almost noon, and his grey hair was unbrushed. Holly was shocked at how grief had aged him.
‘Guess who’s come to visit?’ Daniel paused, but when Hector didn’t reply, he asked her, ‘So, do you like what we’ve done?’
‘It’s quite something,’ she said. ‘I’d never have known this was once a barn.’
‘My barn,’ sighed Hector, looking wistfully out of the window. ‘No more workin’ the land for me. Those days are gone.’
He touched his bad hand and Holly felt the touch, the mirror sensation of offered comfort, but felt its weakness too. Hector had been king here, and now he was exiled to life in the barn.
Holly went and sat next to him, Jet sat at her feet begging to be petted. She stroked his ears, and said, ‘It’s good to see you, Hector.’
‘Shall I leave you both to catch up? You can find Cass in her study when you’re ready,’ said Daniel, looking at his watch. ‘I’ve got to administer a deep-tissue massage now, so if it’s okay I won’t come with you.’
‘It’s fine. I remember the way.’
When he’d gone, she joined Hector in gazing out of the window, to land that was once farmed but was now being levelled. A huge machine was spreading seed over the area.
‘That’s the next stage of their big plans,’ he said. ‘It’s being grassed.’
His comment made her look at him more closely, and she saw his eyes were cold.
‘Where are Janet and Ash?’ she asked.
‘Oh, they got to keep their cottage. Janet comes over every day. She cooks all the funny food they serve here, salads mostly. And once those fields out there are flatter and covered in grass, it’s gonna be a golf course. Ash’ll be the groundsman.’
She said nothing: she could hear how much this hurt Hector. After the loyalty Ash and Janet had shown Cass, this was hardly the reward they deserved. And Ash was far more than just a worker to Hector, though it seemed this would never be acknowledged.
Holly climbed the stairs to the first floor and to the room that was once Maya’s study. Very little had changed here: there was still a desk and filing cabinet, and lots of paperwork pinned on a cork board. But the woman in charge was different: the daughter had inherited and the mother was gone.
Cassandra looked better than Holly had ever seen her. She was wearing a fitted red dress with low heels, her blonde hair gleamed and her face glowed.
‘Holly, so good to see you, please take a seat.’ Beside Cassandra’s desk was a small armchair. ‘Sorry I wasn’t downstairs to greet you, I was on a call with Lifestyle Magazine. They’re featuring us in next month’s edition.’
‘That’s wonderful.’
What a change this was. The woman before her was, seemingly for the first time, in command of her fate. Her dream was now a reality.
‘Things seem to be going well for you, Cass.’
‘Oh, they are. I can’t tell you!’ Just then light footsteps approached, and a young woman entered the study. ‘Tori, do you remember Holly?’
The teenager looked at Holly, recognised her, and gave a beaming smile. ‘Of course I do – you saved my mum.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t quite put it like that . . .’
‘It’s true, Holly,’ Cass said, lightly rebuking her. ‘Rupert Jackson said it was you who convinced the jury I was innocent.’
After Victoria had ambled away, Cass said, ‘She’s at the Academy in Felixstowe, and doing really well. Of course she’s still adjusting. She misses Oakfield, but she’ll get over that before too long.’
‘Does she still see Dawn?’
‘Oh yes,’ said Cassandra, ‘at weekends and holidays. They’re still best friends and we help Monica with the school fees.’ Her eyes passed over Holly and fixed on her hand, where the engagement ring glittered. ‘Oh, congratulations!’
‘Thank you,’ said Holly.
‘If you’d like to organise your hen weekend here, I’ll give you a very special package. Mate’s rate.’
Holly felt herself cool inside. ‘Oh, I don’t think I’ll be bothering with that.’
Cassandra’s smile dropped, and Holly saw that she was disappointed, not because Holly had rejected the offer, but because she was rejecting the possibility of friendship. As if to underline the point, Holly asked, ‘Do you still see Clive?’
‘I’m involved with Team Talk each Friday, but we run it here now, in one of the therapy rooms. Clive hires the space from me.’
‘And the sleepwalking?’
‘Under control. No repeat incidents,’ Cassandra said simply, still dejected.
Holly found that she was unsurprised by this. ‘Your dad seems . . . sad.’
‘He’s grieving for Mum. But look at how fortunate he is, living in a barn conversion with his family all around him. And look how close he still is with Ash. What more could he ask for?’
Despite herself, Holly shivered. ‘I think Hector probably believes that Ash deserves more.’
Cass narrowed her eyes. ‘He can only blame himself for what Ash got. If he felt so strongly about it, he should have acknowledged him, while Mum was alive.’
‘Cass, that’s so . . . ?’ Holly searched for the right word.
‘Cruel? What’s cruel is Dad having a child with Janet, and betraying my mum. I’ve treated Ash fairly, but he’s not my brother.’
‘But he is,’ Holly said simply. It had been obvious to her from the start, and now it was clear that this was an unspoken fact that everyone knew. ‘You just don’t want to give up your inheritance.’
Cassandra finished the tour herself, showing Holly the grounds where a spa bath was situated and a steam capsule amid the herb garden. ‘All of our treatments are organic,’ she told Holly. ‘As well as the cancer treatments, we specialise in sleep disorders. We got quite a lot of publicity after the court case, and that always helps with bookings.’
She was shown the rooms, where reiki and Bach flower treatments took place. This spa was meant to heal but Cassandra’s own healing came from a darker source, Holly was certain. She was thriving because Maya was dead.
Finally, they were done and there was nothing more to see.
Cassandra opened her arms for a final farewell. ‘Congratulations again!’ she cried, as Holly stepped into the woman’s embrace. She felt it then, like a jolt of electricity: she saw, in her mind’s eye, Daniel firing a rifle.
Holly pulled away and the question came from her mouth before she could censor it. ‘Why are you protecting him, Cass? He shot your mother.’
There was no one around, no one to hear.
The subject was her own mother’s death, but Cassandra answered coolly, ‘Mum had
me locked up. She paid for my daughter to be kept away from me and she was about to expose Daniel as a fraud. She was going to destroy everything.’
Holly, her hands still on Cassandra’s forearms, saw it all. The struggle for the gun, Daniel pulling the trigger, Maya falling.
‘He murdered your mother.’
‘The case is closed, Holly. I was found not guilty because I was asleep. It’s been proven, thanks to you, beyond reasonable doubt.’
‘But all those suspicions you had. How can you trust him?’
‘Because I know his secret, and I took the blame.’
‘I’m going to the police,’ Holly said, backing away. ‘The case will be reopened.’
‘No, it won’t, Holly, not unless I appeal. Which I won’t. The case is solved, and nobody wants it reopened. Look at the life we have now. Look at how happy we all are.’
EPILOGUE
Holly
‘Are you okay in there? Remember, Holly, try not to move your head or swallow too much. Press the panic button if you need to.’
Holly knew she wasn’t a good patient, but Clive’s voice helped her relax as she was slid into the MRI machine. His tweedy tones of orange and grey comfort swaddled her, making her feel safe even as the gurney mechanically repositioned her within the scanner. She wouldn’t have done this if Leif hadn’t come with her – he was waiting in the hospital café. He’d convinced her it was better to know as much as possible about her synaesthesia, that she was helping the researchers as well as herself.
Holly stiffened as the machine began its whirrs and clicks. Inside the white plastic oesophagus, she listened to the bangs and ticks of the machine. She’d known for most of her life that she was different from other people, but now she knew she needed to embrace it. Leif had helped, and he was waiting for her now.
Returning to Innocence Lane had been the true tipping point. If she’d only trusted her senses all along, it would have ended differently. She’d mistrusted Hector’s confession from the start, had sensed that something was amiss, and she’d been focusing on Daniel. If only she hadn’t felt so guilty about the past, so keen to make amends to Cass, then he’d be behind bars.
