Impressed with how easy they made the procedure look, Dr Shaney raised his shaggy white eyebrows. ‘Done that a few times together, have you?’
Kirsten and Hunter exchanged a smile and nodded. Hunter drew off a small amount of blood for pathology testing before they connected the baby to the intravenous fluids.
‘I’ll have FBE, electrolytes, blood culture and group, and hold for cross-match,’ he said. Kirsten already had the correct tubes ready and one of the local midwives was labelling them. Hunter injected the required amount in for each test and when he’d finished, Kirsten saved the syringe to check the baby’s sugar levels.
‘Glucometer reads two point five.’
Hunter pursed his lips, quite satisfied. ‘So nil by mouth, IV running at thirty mils per kilo per twenty-four hours. Let me know as soon as the pathology comes back, even if they phone it through when we’re in the air. I’m worried about young Zane losing large amounts of colloid fluids into that inflamed gut. He’ll need some albumen.’
He looked up and caught the agonised expression on both parents’ faces. ‘Pop a nasogastric tube in, Kirsten, and when you get a chance we’ll have the usual antibiotic cover for any bugs that think they might want to set up camp. I’ll see the parents.’ Kirsten waved the NG tube under his nose and Hunter smiled again as he walked away.
It wasn’t as awkward to maintain their professionalism as she’d feared it would be, Kirsten thought warily to herself as she finished that procedure. Hunter was making it easy for her and she wasn’t sure how long she’d be able to keep up her wall of reserve. Maybe she wouldn’t need to. Maybe he had changed since Banda Banda. That thought was very distracting and she sighed and concentrated more intensely. The tube was in the stomach correctly and she taped it to Zane’s upper lip and then aspirated any fluid that was in the baby’s stomach. Then she checked the clock and smiled at the midwife who hovered to offer help. ‘I’ll aspirate again before we leave,’ she said, and started to tidy her mess.
‘You’re very efficient.’ The midwife helped clear up the last of the disposable equipment.
‘Like most things, it gets easier with practice. I’ll bet you do many things I’d find stressful until I became used to them again.’ She grinned. ‘We carry nearly everything in our kit.’
By the time they were ready to leave, everyone was more relaxed. The parents had decided to drive into Sydney together and the staff were so appreciative they’d sent for tea and coffee for the MIRA team.
Tara confided to Kirsten she’d been quietly pleased to have given birth five weeks early because of the nausea she’d suffered for most of the pregnancy. But now she was weighed down with guilt, as if the deformity were somehow her fault.
Kirsten shook her head. ‘No one knows why this happens. It’s a breakdown in the formation period and it could have been due to a virus or just screwed cell division. You’ll never be sure why it happened, but these babies do really well after surgery.’ Kirsten smiled. ‘It’s not something that is the mother’s fault.’ The whole time she was reassuring Tara, Kirsten knew she’d feel the same way if it had been herself. She couldn’t help her protective hand that strayed to her flat stomach or her gaze that drifted to Hunter. When he looked across she turned away guiltily. It was harder than she’d thought it would be to know about her pregnancy without giving it away to Hunter.
Zane’s transfer to NICU went smoothly and when they landed on the roof at headquarters, they could smell the aroma of frying onions and the memories of another day did nothing for the growing rapport between Kirsten and Hunter.
Hunter saw Kirsten stiffen and pull back as if she didn’t want to get out of the aircraft, and he wondered if it was because of his refusal to believe in her last time. He didn’t care what had happened in the past, he loved her and he wouldn’t fail her again.
‘I gather Jim is cooking in aid of your return,’ Hunter said encouragingly as he waited for Kirsten to alight. She grimaced and again he noticed the subtle difference in her usually outgoing personality. ‘Are you OK with that?’
Kirsten nodded and followed him down in the lift. They came out on the second floor and the crowd on the balcony cheered and waved a hand-painted banner that read, WELCOME BACK, KIRSTEN, and another that read DYNAMIC DUO.
Kirsten had to laugh and she felt Hunter relax beside her. After the initial babble of conversation she eased herself away from the crowd with her plate and glanced around for somewhere to sit. In the corner, Hunter patted the seat beside him.
Her stomach tightened but not with hunger. How could she ignore the last three weeks of silence? But that was what she was doing. She felt like a fool to even partially believe in fairy-tales but her feet moved across the floor unbidden until she was seated beside him anyway.
He looked searchingly at her. ‘How does it feel to be here again?’
Despite her intentions to remain clear-headed, Kirsten was swayed by the warmth in his eyes. ‘It’s good. I’ll always love MIRA but it’s been a big day, coming back.’
His statement came without warning and to Kirsten his voice lacked conviction. ‘I was wrong to break up with you,’ he said. ‘We should be together.’
Kirsten blinked and stared at him and he looked away as soon as he’d said it, as if already regretting the words. Was he referring to what she thought he was referring to? Kirsten frowned and realised what had happened. She cautioned herself. Now that he’d slept with her, he felt guilty. The last thing she wanted was for him to lie to her.
‘You don’t have to say that if you don’t mean it, Hunter.’ Your baby and I will survive without you, she thought, and her eyes began to sting with unshed tears as she waited for him to reassure her. He didn’t say anything else and suddenly she couldn’t sit there any more with him.
She put her plate down on the deck, stood up and pushed her way inside past the other MIRA staff and then up the fire-escape stairs to find space on the roof as if the hounds of hell were behind her. Just as she reached the top step her foot skidded on an uneven tread and she fell heavily, striking her stomach on the edge of the step. She gasped with the pain but more with the dreadful fear that she’d hurt her baby, and terror settled over her like a menacing cloud.
She lay against the steps, alone in the semi-dark stairwell, for several minutes and let her tears flow unchecked as she waited for the first cramp to grab her. When it didn’t come she shifted until she was half-sitting on the rough concrete and leant her cheek against the cold metal rail and bargained with God. If her baby would be all right then she’d be extra careful, no more heedless flights up stairs or running away. Care and composure would be her middle names and she’d have her baby christened as soon as he or she was born. She closed her eyes and admitted grimly the futility of bargaining, and how stupidly vulnerable she found herself in pregnancy.
She’d been pathetic, again, and she leaned against the cold metal rail and accepted that Hunter wasn’t going to be the person she wanted him to be, shouldn’t have to be someone she wanted him to be. It wasn’t fair to either of them.
Hunter watched Kirsten go. He didn’t blame her for not believing him. He was tired from little sleep. His declaration had been on the tip of his tongue all day and he’d blurted it out in a jumble like a five-year-old. He sighed. For an articulate man in a high-powered job he sucked at relationships. He should have seen her early this morning before they’d had to work together, no matter how late it might have been when he’d got away from the unit.
He watched through the balcony window as she disappeared into the fire escape and guessed she was heading for the roof. He’d done that himself a few times in the early days here and suddenly he had to try one more time to make her understand.
He followed via the lift but when he came out onto the roof the area was empty. He glanced behind him to the closed door of the fire escape but there was no entry from the outside. He’d have to go back down the lift and enter from the second floor, although he couldn’t imagine what she
was doing on the fire escape.
When he saw her sitting on the steps he realised she’d been crying and a deep pain seized his chest because he’d been the one to upset her. She tried to stand as he came closer and he realised she was hurt.
‘What happened? Are you all right?’ He lowered himself beside her on the step and took her hand. ‘How can I help?’
Kirsten didn’t say what was on her tongue because if she did she’d burst into tears. She looked up into the concern in his face and wished for the stars. She wished for Hunter to love and trust her—not to feel guilty that they’d made love. Or decide magnanimously that he could forgive her for her past indiscretions.
‘I’ll be fine,’ was what she said, and she winced as she eased herself to her feet. It hadn’t been that heavy a fall but the scare she’d given herself had been enormous. Although keeping her fears from Hunter was the hardest part.
He helped her back to the common room and she sat in a lounge chair for a while, shaken and tense as the time passed and she dared to hope no damage had been done.
After work, Kirsten was glad to close the door of her flat and sit down. She’d left her pushbike at the hospital and caught a taxi home because her tummy was still painful. Not cramps as she’d feared but soreness from the fall.
Needing someone to talk to, Kirsten rang a distracted Abbey to ask for advice, but she could hear Lachlan crying in the background and Kirsten reassured her sister that she was fine and would ring the next night.
Too tired to eat, she quickly bathed and changed for bed even though it was still light outside. When her entry buzzer rang, she jumped. She’d almost expected Hunter to call, but still briefly considered pretending to already be asleep. Flushed from the hot water, and droopy with fatigue, she reluctantly opened the door. It was Hunter and he carried a Chinese take-away in one hand and a deep purple ceramic pot with a rose bush in the other.
‘It’s a house-warming present,’ he said, but at least he waited for her to ask him in.
The yellow and pink roses were beautiful and she sank her nose into the delicate perfume before she turned the tag to read the label. The rose was called Peace. She had to smile.
‘Peace because that’s what we have to start between us. May I come in?’
Kirsten could feel the tears scratching behind her eyes again and she cursed the hormones zinging around her body and undermining her composure. When she stepped back, he walked past her and seemed to fill her small flat with his presence. She watched him look around her home with appreciation.
‘It’s welcoming and vibrant, with a touch of country.’ He turned to face her. ‘Like you, except when I’m around. Have I ruined everything between us, Kirsten?’
‘I’m not sure,’ she said sadly, ‘but it usually takes two to ruin everything.’ She met his eyes. ‘Will you tell me the truth if I ask you a question?’
Trapped, he nodded. ‘Of course.’
‘Do you feel guilty for what happened in the cave when we made love?’
He sighed. ‘Of course I do.’
‘Thank you for being honest.’ She turned away so he wouldn’t see her rub the imperceptible bulge above her pubic bone. Never could she regret the baby inside her. But maybe it was time to think about Abbey’s offer of work in Gladstone. ‘Thank you for the meal and the rose, but I’m tired.’ And need time to make sure I’m not going to lose this baby, she thought. If I tell you now, I’ll have trapped you into something I don’t think you want.
Even if she didn’t ask him to be there for their child, she’d never be rid of his shadow hanging over her. But she could get on with her life. She’d struggle through a few more days at MIRA and then decide for good.
Hunter left without a chance to explain.
The next morning at MIRA was slow and Kirsten stayed busy rotating stock on the shelves to keep out of Hunter’s way. The first call came just before lunch and when Hunter heard the name of the referring hospital he couldn’t help his worried look at Kirsten. If there’d been another crew there he would have suggested they go, but the others were out.
‘We’re off to Gladstone,’ he said, and as she spun her head to look at him he saw her eyes widen. He shrugged and despite their differences they drew strength from each other in shared emotion.
As she helped push the portable neonatal unit to the helicopter, Kirsten admitted that she was glad she was with Hunter because Gladstone wouldn’t call them lightly and he was the best they had. ‘Who was the referring doctor?’
‘Scott Rainford. Isn’t he one of the brothers-in-law?’
She nodded. ‘So what’s the story?’
‘Four-month-old baby boy with intussusception. They’ve started an IV and pain relief but the baby needs transfer down for surgical correction before the bowel necroses.’
Intussusception, when a segment of the bowel telescoped into itself, caused an obstruction in the intestine where the walls of the bowel push in on each other. The blood flow through the bowel becomes impaired, which could lead to significant bleeding, shock and even perforation of the bowel.
‘Poor little baby. He must be in agony.’ Kirsten winced as she secured the kit. The condition was a painful one and sometimes it was hard to diagnose early. The treatment was to disentangle the baby’s bowel by inflating the bowel with barium or an air enema, or if the baby was too sick by surgical correction. If the bowel has been obstructed for too long it could become necessary to remove the section that had been damaged due to lack of blood supply and rejoin the bowel.
‘The sooner the better.’ She glanced out the window. ‘It’s better flying weather than last time, thank goodness.’ They both thought of Keith, still at home and so fortunate to be alive.
Once the stretcher and equipment were loaded, the aircraft lifted off and turned its nose north. There wasn’t much in the way of drugs to prepare en route for this trip so there was time to kill on the flight. Hunter glanced across at Kirsten who was watching the terrain below. ‘Is this the first time you’ve done a retrieval in your home town or did you do some before you went to Dubai?’
Kirsten looked across at him. ‘Apart from the time we crashed, you mean?’
Hunter grinned back at her. ‘I wasn’t counting that one because we didn’t make it.’ He was glad she could talk about it, and hopefully she would be even better after they’d completed this trip today. He knew he’d be glad to get back to Sydney later. ‘Do you think we’re mad, tempting fate like this?’
She shook her head. ‘I like to think I’m a fatalist and I’ll be fine until my time comes. Though I might take less risks in the future.’ She returned to Hunter’s original question about retrievals from Gladstone.
‘I’ve done a couple of retrievals from home. It’s always nice to be able to help out.’
He nodded. ‘So will the hospital be full of your relatives?’
Kirsten raised her eyebrows. ‘Scott is Bella’s husband, Rohan will probably be there and maybe Bella. Relatives, friends, school buddies. You’ll be surrounded.’ She teased him about the comment he’d made a few days ago about country people ‘We country folk are related to everyone in town.’
‘So, is it a good hospital?’ Hunter found he was interested.
‘I think so. We have a loyal staff, great doctors and the base hospital isn’t too far away if we need to transfer. If we need any extra equipment the townspeople rally around us and raise the money. No complaints.’
She met his eyes. ‘Of course, the town’s fortunate to have Scott and Rohan because if those guys weren’t in town all the women would have to travel fifty kilometres to have their babies at the base hospital. Scott’s been here for about fifteen years, and he was doing obstetrics on his own until Rohan came two years ago as a locum. Then Rohan stayed and fell in love with my sister Abbey.’
‘That sounds very romantic.’ There was a sardonic note to his voice when he added, ‘How fortunate for the town.’
Kirsten frowned. ‘The town had nothing to do w
ith it. I’ve never seen anybody more in love than Abbey and Rohan are. It restores your faith in marriage to see them.’ She laughed. ‘Although Scott and Bella run a close second.’
‘So your two midwife sisters married the two obstetric GPs. How come you didn’t stick around for the next locum?’
Kirsten didn’t like the tone of his voice but she resisted making this personal. ‘I did a couple of months when I first came back but MIRA is really what I want to do. Of course, then I didn’t know you’d be there or I might have stayed longer.’
He winced but she was smiling. ‘Big hit,’ he said, and Kirsten laughed and looked out the window.
The flight was uneventful and they landed at the hospital helipad on schedule.
The orderly waiting to help with the equipment clapped Kirsten on the back as she alighted. ‘Good to see you, Kirsten,’ he said. ‘I didn’t think they’d send you seeing as it’s Abbey’s Lachlan.’
Kirsten stopped and stared and Hunter caught the gist of the conversation.
‘You go ahead, Kirsten. We’ll bring the equipment.’
Kirsten sent one agonised look of thanks Hunter’s way and set off up the path towards the hospital rear entrance. When she arrived in Outpatients, Lachlan was in one of the side rooms and her sister Abbey and husband Rohan were holding hands beside the cot, looking down at their son as he moaned in his sleep.
‘Kirsten!’ Abbey stood up and Kirsten gathered her older sister into her arms.
‘You poor things.’
Abbey stepped back and Rohan hugged Kirsten, too. ‘We heard the helicopter arrive. Abbey was hoping it would be you.’
Rohan looked more serious than Kirsten had ever seen him. Usually quietly amused by people and life on the whole, Rohan was the type to never get flustered. The joys of having your own family, Kirsten thought as she looked at the two people she’d never seen at a loss in a situation clutching at each other when their son whimpered.
She could hear the sound of the stretcher approaching, so Hunter would be here any moment. ‘I didn’t know it was Lachlan until I arrived. When did he get sick?’
The Pregnant Midwife Page 13
