by Boone, Azure
Dara made distressed cooing sounds, panicked with her sudden break down. Sofia continued to bawl. For all the years of loneliness, the longing to love and be loved and now him. Now she wanted to love him more than anything. Whatever it took, she needed to love him, to help him.
Sofia nodded. “He just needs somebody to show him normal, he’s obviously never had that, I mean maybe if he saw normal, experienced it I mean, then he’d see there was something else besides all he’s ever known? Where do I get this shit, I have to try something Dara, anything.”
“Oh honey. There’s a health food store five miles from you.”
“Nature’s Nanny?” She wiped her nose on her sleeve.
“That’s the one. I called, it’s on the shelf and it’s called…what the fuck, I just had it. Xylitol, not sure if that’s how you say it.” She proceeded to spell it and Sofia rummaged through her purse for a pen and settled for a lip liner, writing the name on her forearm when she couldn’t find anything else.
Sofia sighed when she was done, trying to get a grip. After she hung up with Dara, she focused all the negative energy inside her into determination. She’d learned that trick from her Gammie. Now all she had to do was focus it all on the monster killing Daniel. No way was she just going to sit back and do nothing. God she loved him. Even if he didn’t want her, she couldn’t stand the thought of him suffering.
****
Why did it feel like she was baking for an exorcism? Sofia second guessed everything now. Especially her bright idea of filling his kitchen with “normal”. It had made such brilliant sense in the moment. It was completely normal to bake in your kitchen, and since it was his kitchen lacking the normal, what better place to start? Not to mention, she was introducing him to an impossibility. A healthy sweet. After he was amazed and digging in, she’d gently approach the idea that maybe his other problems had similar solutions and that she’d help him find them.
But where the hell was he? It was 7:30 p.m. She’d made arrangements for a sitter for Gammie for the night but still. She was worried about him.
She went to his bathroom, liking using it just for the fact it was his. On her way out, she heard a chiming. She followed the sound to his walk in closet and finally to a jacket pocket. She pulled out a cell phone. One message.
She paused just before hitting the send button, finger trembling. This was wrong. But what if it was him? And he was in trouble?
She pressed it and put it to her ear. Her heart slammed her ribs at hearing a sultry female voice. “Are we still on for this Friday? Mmmm, can’t wait to—”
Sofia dropped the phone like it’d bit her, eyes wide. Her legs began to move without her even thinking. They took her to the living room and paced her body around. They took her to the kitchen and paced there while Sofia fought the emotions threatening to make her a nutcase.
She wanted to kill him. Then herself for being so stupid. She should burn his house down. She paused in her pacing and closed her eyes. I’m broken Sofia…that’s what happens when your father brings home a different slut every weekend…and makes you fuck them…
Oh God. This was it. The face of that monster. She couldn’t run. Hell, she couldn’t run if she wanted, she realized. Her heart was too tied in. She couldn’t abandon him.
A timer went off and snapped her back to reality. The cookies were done.
She removed them from the oven and set them to cool. Next were cupcakes. She’d done several cakes, all with sweet encouraging sayings on them. I love your courage was written on the vanilla cake with white icing and pink font. And the Never give up on a red-velvet round cake with cream-cheese icing and sky blue letters. Then the naughty personal sized one that had Eat Me. German chocolate with red writing.
Flashes of him having oral sex with another woman weakened her legs and slammed into her courage. She closed her eyes, wanting to be sick. Just don’t…think about it.
Like a nagging shit fly around decaying matter, the images continued. This other woman doing things to him. Him doing shit to her. Him kissing her.
That last image nearly cut her heart out. Just the thought of him kissing another woman when he hadn’t kissed her just… drove her insane. Her legs began doing that thing, taking her places without her direction. She found herself digging for alcohol wondering where the hell he stashed it. At long last, she spied a shelf at the back of the huge walk in pantry. With wine bottles. She hurried to the kitchen and opened one, praying they were priceless and irreplaceable.
After two glasses, she plopped down into a chair, finally getting the what the fuck ever effects of the nasty shit. Timer went off. Ahhh, cupcakes were done.
Holding the neck of the wine bottle, she pulled them out and chunked the pan on the counter with a clatter. She took a swig of the poison while regarding the stupid dessert. She grabbed the special icing she’d made with the special sugar and began writing a special message. When she was done, she took another swig, admiring her work. Die, die, die, die filled the twelve cupcakes, a letter for each precious one.
Are we still on for Friday? I can’t wait for you to…”
Sofia swigged at the bottle only to find it empty. She launched it at the wall and stumbled, absolutely loving the shattering sound, the breaking sound, the ruined sound. Went perfect with the tune humming through her blood.
“What. The fuck. Are you doing.”
Sofia spun and nearly fell. “Well well well, the bastard is finally home.” She gestured toward the desserts. “Been busy baking ‘n shit.” She swung her dizzy gaze back to his. “What about you? Where the fuck you been? Making rounds? To all your lil’ sex peeps?”
She snorted at his look. “Don’t look all shocked and oh my God, Doc. Makes you look…stupid.”
She planted her elbows on the island then looked down at the array of sweets. When she glanced back up, he’d ghosted right next to her, staring at her work. He was on the cupcakes and she snorted a giggle. “Those are my favorite.”
She looked around the kitchen at her temper tantrum. She couldn’t bring herself to fling the cakes, but she’d destroyed everything else. “The cookie monster came,” she slurred, regarding the mess. “He was sooooo hungry,” she said, making loud cookie monster gobbling sounds.
The next thing she knew he was standing close enough she could smell him. His cologne. If you could bottle heartbreak, that’s what it smelled like. Well, if you couldn’t have the man wearing it. Fuck. Her mind was too numb, her body too drunk, but not her heart. Funny how the effects of alcohol couldn’t quite numb that stupid shit. So she got to sway next to him, bleeding to death from the inside, unable to kill him.
He slid a finger along her cheek. Then neck. She swatted at him, somehow missing his hands. “You did this for me?” he whispered.
She thought about his question and gave him the only appropriate answer she could think of. “Fuck you.”
His lips were on her cheek, kissing gently, inch by inch along her face.
She pushed at the solid wall of his body. “Get off me.”
****
Daniel’s chest constricted until he wanted to kill. She’d baked for him. At first he’d thought it was a direct attack, her knowing how much he hated junk food. But then he’d seen what she’d written on the cakes. He was dumbfounded, confused. How could all of it hurt him? But it did, he was physically in pain over it.
As he stroked her soft skin, his cock was so hard her very gaze could make him orgasm. He was so aroused with what she’d done, and her anger excited him all the more in his unstable state; in his brand new emotional/physical psychotic state.
He slid his hands over her waist, his desire quickly escalating to a dangerous level. He knew that level. He’d never felt it in a long time because he’d learned to master it, fix it so he didn’t have to go there. But with her so helpless, so…broken…and beautiful, he fucking had to have her like that. Had to own her entirely, he wanted every single molecule of her being for himself and nobody else. Nothing he sa
id could stop the possessive monster slithering through his veins. Under normal conditions, her being drunk... defenseless…angry...and unwilling, may have stopped him.
But both his condition and he…were not normal.
He filled his hungry hands with her ass and squeezed. Her struggle was weak and he pressed his cock into her lower stomach, the heat in his body roaring in his ears now. “I’m going to fuck you Sofia,” he gasped into her ear. “Right here. On this island.”
A shot of heat pierced his cock when she exploded with awareness and strength. And desire. Her desire shouldn’t have mattered, but he found that it did, and hearing it her voice as she struggled, set him on fire. And not just his body but his entire being.
“Get your fucking hands off of me.”
He spun her around and she gasped as he thrust his hard cock against her ass. His fingers bit into her hair and pulled her head back. “God, you are so mine. And I will fuck you.” He scraped his teeth along her neck.
“Daniel, please!”
Oh yes, there it was again. She ached for this. But he already knew that. He reached in front of her and unfastened her jeans then yanked both pants and panties down to her ankles.
He gripped her ass cheeks and squeezed hard. Then he bit her. “Daniel, please,” she gasped, weakly fighting her arousal.
“Yes.” He licked her ass where he bit. “Call my name Sofia.”
Chapter Nine
She heard him unzip and she tried to turn, only to have him shove her chest to the island with one hand on her back. Her thighs quivered and her core throbbed to have him inside her. He slid his finger in her pussy in one thrust, shattering her fear.
“I knew you’d be wet.”
His voice quivered as he drove his finger into her with deep jabs. The sound of her desire and pleasure poured out of her, there was no denying it. No denying what she wanted. This. She wanted him buried inside her in whatever way she could get it.
The large head of his cock poised hot at her entrance. She looked over her shoulder, mouth open in want and need.
His fingers bit into her waist and he thrust his cock inside while pulling her hips hard against him.
Sofia screamed from the sheer pleasure of having him inside her, filling her up.
His hand latched onto her shoulder and held her down when she tried to reach behind her and touch him. With a growl he pressed her chest into the island and slammed into her again. Sofia could only gasp and pant and grunt as he began pounding into her without stopping.
He pulled out of her abruptly with a roar and she thought he was coming. But he spun her around and lifted her on the island. “I want your feet up and your legs open.”
His tone was harsh, and yet her body interpreted it as male domination, pure masculinity. She did as he said.
“Play with your pussy for me while I watch.”
Oh God.
She brought her trembling hand between her legs and began the familiar routine that lead to nowhere. He stood before her and groaned as he watched, stroking his wet cock with one hand and her folds with the other.
“Make it hot for me Sofia.”
For him? That changed everything, didn’t it. She opened her legs wider and pumped against her finger.
“Mmm, yes, like that. You like me to fuck you?”
“Yes, yes.”
“Beg me, Sofi.”
Her body begged first, writhing and grinding. “God, Daniel, please. Please fuck me, please.”
He thrust his finger into her and flicked against that amazing spot. She met his thrusts with her own, wiggling her finger over her clit.
“That’s it baby, make it hot for me. You look so fucking good. God, Sofi, you drive me crazy.”
His words brought her orgasm first, then he began ramming his finger in and out of her, blowing her mind with every fierce thrust. Her climax shuddered through her limbs as she cried out with desperate pleas and moans that made no sense.
He suddenly pulled her off the island and sheathed his cock deep inside her with one move. Her back hit something solid, a wall, and he slammed her arms against it. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he held her up with his cock and hips, one hand cupping her ass. He stared between them as he began flicking his hips, impaling her over and over with his cock until she screamed her pleasure and dug her nails into his shoulders. God, she’d never loved anything so much.
****
When Daniel’s orgasm came, he pulled her head back and sucked her neck, groaning hard while he filled her with his seed. The intensity of his climax made him dizzy, made him oblivious to anything but the taste of soft skin in his mouth, the feel of her hot inner muscles milking his cock, the silk of her breasts and the sound of her sweet whimpers in his ear.
He wanted to scream. He didn’t want the sick fucking fingers of his past to strangle the good she’d just given him.
Given? You fucking forced her, you monster.
He stood there, heaving in the aftermath, willing away the darkness creeping in. But it came anyway. Just like those women all those years ago. No matter how much he prayed and willed it, it came.
Sofia’s tears sprang forth like a freak flash flood. She choked back a sob only for several more to gush out of her body.
“Oh fuck.” Daniel gathered her in his arms and cradled her tightly to his body. “Sofi, Sofi, shhh, what? I’m sorry baby, talk to me, did I hurt you?”
The sobs continued with a vengeance. “I’m sorry Daniel, so sorry for what happened to you,” she wailed into his neck, clutching him tight. “I just want to help you, that’s all, and I got this new sugar that’s healthy, I wanted to show you that not everything that’s good is bad, I just wanted to make you happy.”
“Sofi, baby,” he gasped, her words devastating him while he stroked her head. “I’m such a fucking monster. God, I’m sorry, I am, I am, I wish I were different for you.”
She continued to wail into his neck. “I just wanted you to be happy, I wanted…you to be happy with me.”
“I am happy with you, I am, shhh, okay.”
“I lied to you Daniel. I don’t have sugar diabetes. I made that up to escape that day, I panicked. You didn’t seem interested in me and I couldn’t bear for you to see me naked. I went to your office because I liked you, I’d seen you in the store many times and had a crush on you, I didn’t mean to lie. And I shaved my vagina to impress you, I normally don’t, but I can if you like it.” The sobs continued with her achingly sweet confessions. “And I lied about always wanting to be a baker. I never even thought about baking until my dad passed. Like a year ago. I should’ve visited him more and I didn’t. Then he died on me.” Her face crimped and she covered it with one hand. “He died on me.” The words squeaked out. “I should’ve called. He was sick. He died alone. He was all alone and I bet he was scared,” she sobbed. “And he’d sacrificed his life to raise us when our mom abandoned us. We lived poor and he baked for us every day. I miss him Daniel. I feel close to him when I bake. He loved baking,” she wailed, “and I thought I could keep his spirit alive, so stupid I know.”
“Oh baby,” he gasped, pressing her face to his shoulder. “It’s not stupid.”
Sofia sucked in a breath and pulled away, staring at him in horror. “You fucking bastard!” Her fists flew, connecting with various parts of his body in semi-drunken array. “Who the fuck is she? How could you!”
He grabbed her, pressing her arms into her body, putting his mouth on her ear. He wasn’t’ sure what had happened, but anything to do with a she, he knew. “Shhhh, I’m sorry. It was before you, I promise. She’s history.”
The raw emotion in his tone seemed to soothe her and she flopped her head onto his shoulder. “Good,” she croaked weakly. She suddenly went still on him and he realized she’d fallen asleep.
God, what was he going to do with this beautiful woman he didn’t deserve?
****
Sofia woke in Daniels bed with a migraine. And a note on his pillow. Be na
ked when I get home from work.
No pain on earth could stop the electrical charge that gave her. Shit, it was Monday? She grabbed her head and quickly called Amelie and let her know she was coming. She stumbled out of bed and into her clothes, then made her way home to the medicine cabinet and popped a few pain killers.
She remembered the night before then and her body hummed in the respective places as her mind replayed everything with amazing clarity. She smiled as joy slowly filled her entire body till she felt like she’d float away.
She checked in with Gammie then went to her room to give the meds a chance to work. An hour later, she sat at her computer, unable to believe how frign jealous she was about Daniel going to that Vaginashop of his. The idea of him touching other women even with gloves made her nuts. How was she supposed to help him with that mentality?
Time to probe into the dark recesses of this beautiful man’s mind and see about troubleshooting things. She typed in the words sexual effects of childhood abuse in three different ways until she found what related.
The information was so fascinating and engrossing and sad, that two hours flew by without her noticing. Heartbroken for Daniel, she finally got up from the computer and stretched, realizing the only thing she’d really learned was that there were waaaay too many variables involved on the subject to be able to gain any solid solutions. She needed to know specifics about him. And she didn’t know how else to get them but ask.
Sofia’s phone rang and she swan dove onto her bed and snatched it off the side table. Yes! It was him! “Hello.” Calm and collected.
“Sofia.”
Her heart and womb fluttered at the sound of his voice. It was loaded with…passion. “Daniel? Are you okay?”
