by Ward, Tamryn
“At least you have a choice,” he says.
“Right. Some choice.” I breathe in and out a few minutes and try to clear my mind. There has to be a solution. I just can’t find it. “Can’t you do something?” This is killing me. Absolutely tearing me apart. In my mind I can see my friend out there, scared witless. Alone. She needs my help.
But so does my family.
Oh, God. I hate this. I hate it all.
“I’m sorry.” He places a hand on my shoulder. When I lift my eyes the look on his face is sympathetic and kind. Gone is the cold bastard I met at the gate. This is the Jay I know, the one I like and trust. “Maybe she’ll come back on her own. There’s still time.”
“How much time?” I ask.
“The longest I’ve seen a trainee take is two days.”
My heart sinks. “Two days?” I don’t see how she would survive for two days alone, with no water, no food.
“Yes, just over forty-eight hours,” he says.
“Did that person pass phase two?”
“He did. And he’s never lived it down. We still give him a hard time about it.” He motions toward the gate.
I breathe easier. A lot. Until I take a step, and I realize how close we are. And how alone we are.
He grabs my hand and yanks me out of the road. He stops under the thick shadow of the trees. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he whispers, cupping my cheek.
My breath catches in my throat. And a wicked thrill races through me. “I hope you don’t mean that literally.”
“I hope I don’t mean that literally too.” His thumb grazes my lower lip.
I think that might be the death of me. His touch. But I don’t admit it to him.
His eyes lock on mine. The air around us becomes electrified. The tip of his tongue runs across his lower lip. He’s going to kiss me again. Yes, he’s going to kiss me.
My heart jumps. My face warms. I let my heavy eyelids fall, enclosing me in soothing darkness and wait.
“I shouldn’t. We shouldn’t,” he murmurs. The low rumble of his voice vibrates through my body. “But dammit, I’m weak.”
He’s weak. I’m weak. We’re both weak. That’s not good. And yet it is good. In another way. I lift my hands, flatten them against his chest. I feel it rise and fall as he inhales. I feel his muscles tense beneath my fingertips.
Behind me I hear the rustle of leaves as a breeze caresses the world around us. His mouth finds mine and my body leans into his. He is so big, so hard, so warm. His tongue slips into my mouth, caresses and explores. The world falls away until all that exists is his bulk and my trembling body leaning against it.
Until I hear a cough.
And another.
And a giggle.
I whirl around.
Mattie.
Mattie! It’s Mattie.
She’s found her way back.
I fling myself at her and pull her into an embrace.
She staggers back, laughing, her carefree Mattie smile in place. “Easy, girl! Sheesh, what’s your deal?”
“I was worried about you.”
“Well…” She makes a point to look at Jay. Her brows lift until a deep crease furrows her forehead. “You didn’t look so worried a few seconds ago.” She leans closer and whispers, “This isn’t a romance?” She rolls her eyes. “Rrrright.”
My face is about to ignite. There’s no point in arguing. Technically, what Jay and I have isn’t a romance. At least, not yet. It’s a…a complicated relationship. But who would believe that? Not Mattie. Not after she’s caught Jay and me red-handed, or, rather, red-faced. “I’m not out here because of Jay. I’m here to find you.”
She laughs. “Sure you are.”
“No, really, it’s true. Jay stopped me before I got too far. If I would have left the compound, I would have been arrested.”
Mattie crosses her arms over her chest and glares at Jay. “How decent of him to stop you.”
“We knew you would make it back on your own,” Jay tells her.
I add, “Yes, he was just telling me that—“
“I can see you were both overcome by worry for me.” Grinning, Mattie nudges me in the side. “It’s okay, Eva. You don’t have to explain. I’m flattered you thought of me.” She drapes her arm over my shoulder and leans against me. “Whew, I’m dying. I could use some help getting back to the dorm.”
Glad to have my friend back, and feeling more alive and happy than I ever have before, I wrap an arm around her waist. “I would be glad to help.”
“Thanks.”
I glance over my shoulder at Jay as my friend hobbles through the gate. He gives me a guilty look and I know what he’s thinking. At least, I’m pretty sure I know.
We’re getting too careless. We have to stop.
* * * * *
The phase two ranks are up already.
I didn’t think they would be posted so soon. Based on the excited jabbering echoing through the whole dorm, I don’t think anyone expected them to be posted so soon.
The cafeteria is practically empty at breakfast. Mattie nags me to hurry. She can’t wait to see where we rank. I think she’s worried she’s been knocked to the bottom after taking so long during the kidnapping exercise. I worry about that too.
When we finally get to the classroom all eyes turn to us. The other recruits’ stares are ice cold.
Oh no. What’s going on?
I look at Mattie, but she’s not paying any attention to me or to them. Her gaze is locked on the list of names. “Ohmygod,” Mattie says. “You’re first. First, Eva.”
It takes me a moment to comprehend what Mattie just said. “What?”
She points. “You’re ranked first.”
I focus on the list, which I’d been too distracted to read. Sure enough, there it is, my name, at the top of the list.
“How is that possible?” I ask.
“I don’t know. What was your time on the phase two test?” Mattie asks, her eyes slightly narrowed. Does she think I’m first because of Jay? I’m fairly certain that’s what the others think, but Mattie too?
“Ten minutes,” I tell her.
“Ten minutes?” She shakes her head. “Well, that’s a great time, but you were near the bottom after phase one. Even if your time in the last test was good, I don’t think it would give you that much of a boost.”
I hate to admit I agree with her, but I do. However, there’s an accusing edge in her voice. I don’t like it. If I lose my friendship with Mattie over this, I’m not sure I can make it through the rest of training. I whisper, “Jay and George both told us phase one doesn’t count as much.” My gaze sweeps the room again. Holy crap. Alice looks like she’s trying to set me on fire with her eyes. If I ever have to fight her, I know I’ll end up dead, not just unconscious. “Maybe there was a mistake in the score calculations?”
“Maybe.” Mattie shrugs.
“This is bullshit,” Henry shouts. He doesn’t even try to hide his fury as he glares and points. “That bitch is fucking her way to the top.”
Oh, no.
Everyone in the room looks at me.
My face is on fire. And I can tell by their expressions that my embarrassment is being read as a sign of guilt. And not just the trainees who haven’t liked me since the beginning. Fran’s eyes are narrowed at me, too. And even Mattie’s, a little.
The sad fact is there is nothing I can say to defend myself. They aren’t going to believe me.
Once again I wish the floor would open and swallow me up. I wait, in tortured silence, for our trainers to come in and tell us what we’ll be doing today. Every second is absolute agony.
Henry strolls over and leers. “You must be good to score the top rank,” he taunts. “What did you do, you little whore? Suck him?”
Chapter 24
I want to gag.
I want to cry. But I fight to keep calm and silent.
I stare at the wall and force myself to breathe slowly. And, with tears burning my
eyes, I blink a lot.
“If I have to be knocked down to number two, at least I’d like to get something out of it. You owe me.” Henry leans close and whispers, over the angry chatter of the other trainees, “I’ll collect my prize later.”
A shiver races up my spine.
Jay and George enter the room, and everyone goes silent, including Henry.
George takes his place at the front, studies the list and raises his brows to Jay. Clearly he’s surprised by what he sees, too. And once again I question whether I truly earned that top spot or not.
“Looks like we’ve had a shake-up,” George says, gaze locked on me. “Interesting.” I want to hide, but I can’t. I don’t like the way he’s looking at me. Or how Alice is looking at me. Or Henry. Or even Mattie. “Our next exercise is a team challenge. We’ll be pairing you by rank. That means Henry and Eva, you’ll work together.”
Oh crap. The air blasts from my lungs.
Henry scowls and glares at me while George lists the other teams. The last two people, Keith and Isabel, aren’t assigned to a team. They won’t be completing the final phase. Isabel’s face goes red then white, and I feel awful for both her and Keith. They’ve just been kicked out of training. Just like that. To their credit, they don’t say anything about Henry’s accusation.
While Jay escorts them out of the training room, George explains our next exercise. “Each team will be blindfolded and taken to a remote location. Your goal will be to disarm the other teams and return to base. The winning team will automatically graduate from the program and move on to your final job training. Both members of the team that returns to base last will be dismissed. Permanently. Any questions?”
Damien raises his hand. “Are we permitted to use any means necessary to disarm the enemy?”
“Yes.”
“Including deadly force?” Henry asks, staring at me.
“Yes.”
Henry smiles. I don’t like the way he’s smiling. We’re supposed to be on the same team, but clearly he doesn’t care about that. Why should he? He’s decided how to handle the unfair scoring.
“You should know, however,” George says, “that the clock doesn’t stop until both members of a team return to base.” He gives Henry a look that suggests he knows exactly what he’s thinking. “So, to win, both members must return.”
Henry’s smile isn’t so bright anymore. But I can still see the gears turning in his head. He’s up to something. And I don’t want to know what that something is.
“The exercise will begin tomorrow morning,” George continues. “You are dismissed until then. I suggest you get plenty of sleep tonight. You’re going to need it.”
As George leaves the room, the trainees talk among themselves. Mattie seems to be avoiding me. She’s sticking with Fran and Damien. I follow her out of the room and down the hall. Finally, when she still doesn’t turn around or speak to me, I tap her shoulder. “Is something wrong?”
She produces an expression that I surmise is meant to be a smile. It isn’t. She’s mad. Furious. Just like Henry. And Alice. And everyone else. “No, what would be wrong?”
I can’t believe this. After I risked being kicked out to help her, she’s angry with me because of the ranking? Doesn’t she trust me? If I’ve been put on top unfairly, I intend to do something about it. “I can’t believe this. You’re mad at me, too?”
“No, why would I be upset?” Her tone is mocking and sarcastic.
“You know why. Because of what Henry said. And by the way, about that, who was playing matchmaker the other day? And what makes him think I’m screwing anyone?” I give her a you-know-the-answer-to-those-questions glare.
“First, I didn’t actually think things would go this far.” She crosses her arms over her chest and leers at me. “And secondly, I haven’t said anything about seeing you two cramming your tongues down each other’s throats, if that’s what you’re suggesting. But maybe I should. Because if you’re getting special treatment because of…because of your non-romance with Jay, that isn’t fair.”
Heads turn. I grab her arm and tug her down the hallway and into our dorm room, which is empty. “You said that so loud.”
“I didn’t do it intentionally.”
I don’t believe her. Nor do I believe what’s going on. Everyone hates me. Everyone. Just because I went for a walk with Jay a couple of times. And kissed him.
Maybe I didn’t use the best judgment when I did those things, but I didn’t intentionally seek out his attention so he would help me. As far as I could tell he hasn’t given me any preferential treatment.
Or has he?
“There is no ‘romance’ first of all,” I explain. “And secondly, even if there was, Jay has not, would not, give me, or any trainee, special treatment. For any reason.” I say that statement with way more conviction than I feel.
She kind of rolls her eyes. It’s a subtle movement, but I see it.
“He wouldn’t,” I insist. “In fact, he told me he wanted to do the opposite. He wanted to kick me out of the program. He said it was for my own good.”
This time Mattie doesn’t kind of roll her eyes; she rolls them so I can’t miss it. “Sssssure.”
“I swear.”
“You know, Eva, I’ve been hearing all the other kids talk about you, and say you’re cheating, but I didn’t believe them. Not until today. Because I figured if you were trying to cheat, it wasn’t working.” She paused. “Now I see it is.”
“But I’m not cheating.” I feel like she’s reaching into my chest, yanking out my insides, and twisting them into knots. I have never cheated in my life. I’ve lied. But who hasn’t? But cheated? Never. Not in any game. Not on any test. Not in any way. I’m so hurt that she doesn’t believe me that I can’t string together a coherent sentence. I babble for a few minutes, see that I’m not convincing her and throw my hands into the air.
It sucks being ranked first. It absolutely sucks.
And it sucks even more being tried and convicted of a crime you haven’t committed.
I am such a fool.
* * * * *
Someone is standing over me. I can feel his presence. Whoever it is, he isn’t moving.
Who is it?
Is it Jay? Is he trying to decide whether he should wake me so we can talk? Did someone turn us in to George? If that isn’t it, he took a huge risk, coming to me here like this. Any one of the other trainees could wake up at any moment and catch him.
I decide to let him know I’m awake. I roll over and focus on the shadow looming over me.
It’s standing very still, and I begin to wonder if it isn’t Jay after all. I start to sit up and in a blink I’m flat on the bed, a hand clamped around my neck. I can’t breathe. It’s dark and I panic. I buck. I claw. I writhe. My stomach muscles cramp. I want air. I need air. I need to get away.
I try to focus on my attacker, but it’s too dark to make out his face. It’s a guy. His hand, the one gripping my neck like a vice, is big, strong. Everything goes darker. Sound is growing more distant. Sparkles obscure my vision.
“Leave,” I hear my attacker say. “Leave now. Or you won’t live to see tomorrow.”
My limbs are getting heavy. My arms flail, but I’m too tired to keep fighting. The world is closing in on me, like a tunnel growing smaller and smaller. I’m sailing down the tunnel. Just before I reach the end, I feel the pressure on my neck release. I pull in air too fast. My bruised throat burns and I start hacking. Eyes water. I can’t see. I tremble and cry. Someone wants me dead.
That someone sounded like Henry.
I roll out of bed, hitting the floor hard. My body is heavy, my limbs awkward. I push to my feet and teeter into the hall. I hear footsteps, moving quickly, lightly, away from me. My feet drag as I follow them. A door thumps in the distance. I stagger and stumble a few more feet and stop. Whoever it was, he’s long gone now. I turn back toward our dorm room but hesitate. If I go back, will he come back to finish what he started?
&nbs
p; I need to tell someone what happened. Now. And if I have any problem convincing them that I was attacked, I should have a red mark on my neck to prove it. I do a one-eighty and head toward the infirmary.
When I get there I stumble, my shoulder banging into the door. My weight pushes it open, and I lurch forward, slamming into the check-in desk. The woman at the desk jumps to her feet and scurries to me.
Tears blur my vision. “Help me. I’ve been attacked,” I say between wheezes.
The woman helps me into a wheelchair. “What happened?”
I lift my hand to my neck. The lingering sensation of those strong fingers circling it is still there. I can feel them almost as if they haven’t left. “Someone strangled me.”
“Who? Where?”
“I was in bed. I couldn’t see. It was dark.”
She grabs the handles of the chair and starts wheeling me across the room to an empty bed. “You’re the third person to be attacked tonight.”
I gasp and sputter. “I am?”
“Yes.” She motions toward a couple of occupied beds.
I recognize one of the inhabitants immediately.
It’s Henry.
“Those two have been here for over two hours,” she says. “Security is on high alert and is searching the entire compound for the guilty individual.”
As I wheel by, Henry places his hand around his own neck and smiles at me. A sick feeling rolls through me.
He’s faking his attack. To cover up his guilt. But how will I convince anyone of the truth?
While the woman takes me to an empty bed and helps me get settled, I try to think things through. No one is going to believe me. The best I can hope to accomplish here is to have the attack reported and evidence logged. But nothing more. I hope it won’t take long. I need to find someone I can trust. After today, that’s only one person. At least, I hope there’s one person I can count on.
I wait, watching the minutes drag by, measured by the torturously slow movement of the hands on the wall clock hanging above the head of my bed. One thirty-two. One thirty-three. One thirty-four.
