He shook his head and shoved around me. “Nah. I’m out of here. I can’t be around you.”
“Burr, no, you are not leaving!” I could feel tears bubbling to the surface. What had I done? “Please. I’m sorry. Let’s talk.”
“It’s not enough, Lolo,” he sighed as he entered the patio and shoved his feet into boots.
“I know why you’re upset!” I said desperately and he glared at me. “Let me explain, okay?” My hands were twisting together. I was hoping to have more time for this. Ease into it. “Burr, when you offered to come to Alaska back-back then, all I wanted was to say yes.”
I could still see him, young, ganglier than he was now, but his eyes serious as he said, Why don’t I go with you guys, Lolo? I can take a break from school, help your mom and your brothers. And you.
Yet I’d said no – worrying I wasn’t strong enough to deny my selfish impulses when it came to Burr.
“Why didn’t you say yes, then?” Burr ground out. “I knew you wanted to. It killed me seeing you in that kind of pain. And yet you always say no!”
“Because it would have been selfish of me, Burr. You’re always so selfless, you always put everyone else ahead of you. I was trying to put you first for once. Uncle Aspen and Aunt Santana, they were so proud of you going to school. I didn’t want to take that away from you. That was true.”
He said nothing. But his eyes asked everything.
“And you should know,” I said slowly. “When we were together…” My voice was straining and I began to tremble. “I was so happy. The happiest I’ve ever been. But I knew that was selfish too. That you were being kind and looking out for me. I couldn’t…” A gasp of pain escaped me. “I can’t do that now. Burr, please, I know you’re being so kind–”
“Being kind?” Burr’s voice was vicious and I looked up at him in shock. I’d expected him to be thoughtful and laugh, admit it was the case. I hadn’t expected him to utterly lose his temper.
“Kind?!” he snarled. “Are you screwing with me now? Or do you really not know me at all?”
I flinched, but anger sparked and I shouted back, “Of course I do! I knew you could never–” I stopped, eyes wide with horror at what I almost said.
“Could never what?” Burr asked in a dangerous voice.
“Never-never mind,” I whispered, backing up. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry. Please don’t go, Burr. You don’t have to talk to me or anything, but please don’t go. You’re injured.”
“No.” Burr’s voice was empty.
“Why not?” I cried out.
“Because you broke my heart, Willow.” His words hit me like a blow and I took another step back. “And you don’t even know why,” he said, ripping open the door. “There’s nothing you could ever say or do to change that.”
My knees gave out and I found myself staring after him as he left, hugging myself as his words played over and over in my head.
Then Juni’s words.
He came to you.
Getting to my feet, I grabbed my boots with shaking hands, pushed my feet in, and ran after him. The wind buffeted me, wailing overhead, and I was shivering, but I didn’t stop. Burr was walking fast, head bent and didn’t seem to hear me coming, even though we were now near the barn and sheltered somewhat from the winds. I grabbed his arm and turned him around.
“What the hell?” His face twisted. “Go back! You’ll die out here without a coat, stupid!”
“You’re wrong!” I cried out. “There is something I can say.”
Burr’s let out a mirthless laugh and he bit out one word. “What?”
I could feel my heart beating all the way down to my toes, the snowflakes gathering on my eyelashes, the sharp puffs of air escaping my chest and the lash of the wind. All I saw, though, was Burr, standing there thinking I didn’t care. That was not a lie I could live with. Not anymore.
Taking a deep breath, I said, my voice fierce and reckless, “I love you.”
Chapter 11
“What?” I asked again, voice cracking and heart hammering as I stared down at her.
Willow stood there, fists clenched at her sides, hair dusted with snow and shivering hard, her lips becoming tinged with blue and face white. But her dark eyes burned into mine.
“I love you, Burr.” Her chest rose and fell with every breath. “I have for a long time. I don’t even know how long.” A little gasping laugh escaped her. “That’s why I did those stupid things.”
At first I couldn’t move, couldn’t process what was happening. All I could hear was the dull thump-thump of my heart before it exploded and took off into the sky.
A shy, uncertain look came over Willow’s face, even as she snapped. “Did you hear me, idiot?”
“Yes,” I laughed and took her face between my hands, brushing my fingers along her temples. The storm suddenly thinned overhead and sunlight lanced through, setting the scene around us alight. Everything glittered with gold, matching the flecks in her eyes. “Willow, I-I’ve always loved you. I was trying to take things slow and steady…” I paused. “You didn’t know that?”
From the way her eyes went huge and lips parted, letting out a breath, she hadn’t.
We stared at each other, smiling in shared amazement, slowly moving closer and closer. Until we came together in a kiss – hesitant at first, as though we were still teenagers – and then mind blowing. I wrapped my arms around her, crushing her against me and Willow’s arms went around my neck. The kiss spiraled rapidly in its intensity, like a release of energy snapping through the sky and flashing out like lightning.
Our first kiss – tasting like snow and sweetness and so many promises.
When we broke apart, the color had come back into Willow’s face, her cheeks bright and her lips swollen. “Please don’t go,” she said, sliding her hands down and gripping my shirt. She pressed her forehead into my chest. “Please.”
“I’ll think about it,” I teased, tangling my fingers into her wet hair.
“What? Burr you’re hurt–” I cut her off with another kiss, hungrier and more urgent than before. She sagged a little and I held her up, smirking as she pulled back, dazed.
“I wish – you should have said something back then,” she scolded. “I didn’t know, I swear.”
“How couldn’t you?” I asked in a whisper. “I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on you.”
Willow made a face, but her eyes were soft. “Don’t forget who saw who first.”
“Never,” I said, and then kissed her hard until we were both breathless.
“And?” She demanded, breaking away from me.
“And I’m glad I was wrong,” I said. “I’m an idiot. But an idiot in love with you.”
“My idiot,” she said, looking at me in a way I’d never imagined Willow would. I smiled slowly as my fingers lingered along her jaws and then lips. “So, you won’t leave?”
“Of course not. In fact, I’m sorry.” I said in a rough voice and looked away. I’d never lost my temper like that with Willow. “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry.”
She turned my face back to her with both hands. “I’m sorry, too.” Then she shivered and I squeezed her, before picking her up. “What? No, put me down, I can walk.”
“Ah, but see, I want to carry you,” I said, and smiled at her. “I enjoy it.”
Willow fought down a smile, but her cheeks flushed and her eyes glowed. “Fine, caveman.”
“Wildman,” I corrected her.
“Say what now?” She asked.
“That’s my Hotshot nickname,” I told her, grinning wickedly.
Willow gave me an affectionate and amused look. “I can only imagine how you got it.”
“Oh, I’ll tell you all about it,” I said, chuckling.
Suddenly the brief burst of sunlight vanished in a swirl of snow and wind. Willow glanced up in alarm and gripped my shoulder. “Let’s go to the barn. I want to check on the generator.”
Once inside, back on her feet, Willo
w shook out her hair and held up her arms. “Once again, soaked with snow because of you, Burr.”
“Sorry,” I was leaning against the wall watching her, and smirked when she looked over. “I can easily warm you up though.”
Willow laughed, a warm, rich sound full of mirth and mischief. It was one of my favorite sounds in the universe. I wanted to kiss her again. I never wanted to stop kissing her.
She gave me a coquettish look like she knew what I was thinking and said, “Easy there, Wildman. Let me check on the generator and maybe change.”
After we checked the generator, Willow stopped in front of a closed door and made a face at me. “Bathroom. You can wait out here.”
“You sure?” I grinned at her and then the door closed in my face. “Five minutes,” I called through the door, “or I’m coming in after you.”
Stretching, I settled against the wall and re-lived that kiss over and over again. I was so lost in it, it took me a minute to realize I could hear the steady rush of running water. A shower?
Willow hadn’t locked the door behind her. Resisting the urge to barge in, I knocked instead.
The door opened a sliver and a suspicious dark eye flashed at me. “What now?”
“Are you taking a shower?” I asked, pushing on the door.
Gasping, Willow tried to shut it, but I pushed in. “So, what if I am? Get out!” She demanded.
“Well, I do owe you, Lolo. A Hotshot Brother always pays his debts,” I told her. Then I looked around the bathroom and whistled. “Damn, this is nice.” It was simple but with touches of modernity. But the shower, a huge walk-in with a bench and tendrils of steam caught my attention. “It’s been longer than five minutes, you know,” I remarked.
Now trying to push me out the door, Willow ignored that and muttered, “It came with the house and we updated it a little. I think they used to have weddings here. You’ve seen it. Leave.”
“Nah, still checking it out,” I said, glancing her over.
“Burr! Come on. I’m freezing and I forgot to take a shower yesterday,” Willow tried to shove me with no success. “Ugh, it’s like trying to move a mountain.”
“So, you should know better,” I said, stepping in further and closing the door. She was about to say something, but I pulled her to me and captured her mouth. Instantly she went pliant against me, arching into the kiss and gripping my hair. Then she gasped and tried to break free, but I wouldn’t let her. “What is it?” I asked softly.
Eyes huge, she said lamely, “Uh… You’re injured?”
Giving her a look, I said, “I feel fine. Out with it.”
“It is that! And well, I’ve never…” Throat working, face entirely red, Willow looked down.
“Oh,” a laugh burst out of me. “Well, you're in good company.”
Willow gasped and looked back up at me. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” I said, letting go of her and gently taking her hands. “I mean, I’ve fooled around, but before and after you, especially after, I never let it go that far.”
“Oh. But then…”
“Why wait?” I finished for her. “I was waiting for you,” I said gruffly, and she flushed even brighter. “Whenever you want to, we will.”
“But…” Willow wanted to give in, but as always, she was holding herself back.
“Listen,” I said, brushing back her hair from her face. “It’s your call. You don’t have to worry, though. I have excellent instincts.” I smirked. “I know what I’m doing. It will be a good time.”
Willow said nothing, chewing her lip and her mind going a mile a minute.
“You’re thinking too much, I think,” I said, as the look on her face smote my heart. “Stop worrying about it. When the time comes, just trust your instincts. And we can wait. I don’t care.”
“No, I don’t want to wait,” she said, her voice a little strangled.
Triumphant, I had to resist throwing back my head and roaring yes! “Oh, you don’t? How about that? Okay, well we can go slow…” My hands drifted up to her shoulders and she shivered.
“No, that’s not it…” she murmured and her eyes filled with raw need.
“Okay, we can go fast,” I said with a shrug, trying to play cool as my pants got tighter.
“Burr!” she exclaimed and punched me. “I want to be perfect for you.” Willow bit her lip and looked at me between her long lashes in nervous anticipation.
“Willow,” I laughed outright, “you already are.”
Her smile became sad. “I don’t want to mess this up – along with everything else.”
“Stop talking,” I ordered, and she gave me an incredulous, irritated look. “I mean it, Lolo. Be quiet. You’re putting too much pressure on this. And I know how to fix it.”
“You do?” Willow asked.
“Sh. Of course I do,” I said, leaning in.
“How–?” Willow started to ask and then broke off with a gasp as I kissed the side of her neck. Then I slid my hands up and under her damp top, circling my hands around her torso and exploring her warm skin. Her hands were gripping my shirt at my shoulders.
Cold fingers slid under my collar and I shuddered at the touch.
Willow froze and asked. “Did I hurt you?”
A growl tore out of my chest as I looked at her. “No. Opposite.”
“Oh,” Willow’s eyes lit and now she was smirking at me. “You know, Burr, the warm water is going to run out soon. And I’m still pretty cold.”
I chuckled as I stepped back and began to shed my layers, Willow slowly taking off her clothes as well. When I was in boxers and she was only in panties and a sports bra, she reached for me, pulling me backward into the hot blast of water.
“You know those are coming off, right?” I asked as I took her in, the bulge in my boxers getting bigger by the moment. Then I paused and gazed down at her. “Willow… damn.”
Her hair hung in long black strands all around her, water coursing over her skin and the long, lean curves of her body.
“I know. I wanted you to do it,” she murmured.
Pressing together in the water, her bare skin meeting mine, it was almost beyond what I could handle. In that moment, it seemed to wash away the past. Everything we’d been through, from our friendship as it was to the distance between us. Now there was only this.
Only Willow.
As the heat around and between us built, I slanted my mouth across hers and tasted her like a starving man. Part of me wondered why she’d been so worried, but mostly I was focused on the softness of her lips, dominating her tongue and teasing her. Unable to hold back a moment longer, I slid my hands down and stroked her sides.
Willow jumped and laughed, breaking the kiss. I gazed down at her, a question in my eyes.
She nodded and I pulled off her bra, then slid off her panties.
Now that she was naked, she gazed at me with a sexy smile I’d never seen before. All of her fear was gone and she tilted her chin up, eyes flashing. My mouth was dry as I took her in. Then she stretched her whole body and I swallowed hard.
“You gonna stand there all day?” she asked, arching a brow.
“I could,” I said in a hoarse voice. “I really could.”
She reached for my boxers but I grabbed her wrists and pinned them over her head. Then I tickled her side and Willow half-shrieked, half-laughed. “What are you doing?” she gasped.
I grinned down at her. “Payback.”
“Burr – oh!” I bent my head, twirling my tongue around one breast and cupping the other. It fit in my hand perfectly and I gripped her hard. “Mm, okay you weren’t kidding about those instincts.”
Nipping at her, Willow arched and moaned helplessly. It was so hot, I swore I was going to come and had to pause for a moment. She was shivering again, but from the look in her eyes, I knew it was from the intensity of the pleasure. Slowly I let her wrists go and let my fingers drift down her flat stomach.
“Burr,” her voice was sultry and low. “I want
you. Now.”
I met her gaze and then her fingers were at my boxers. She looked down and her eyes went wide, lips parting. Then she looked back up at me and smirked. “Yup. Confidence warranted.”
Pushing her against the shower wall, I smiled as she slung a leg around my hip. “You sure?”
“Yes,” Willow’s face became serious and yet full of longing at the same time. “Part of me is terrified this is just a dream.” Her lips curved up. “Please, prove to me it’s not.”
Chapter 12
Sliding my hands up the V of Burr’s hard stomach to his chest, I let my right hand linger over his heart. The rapid beat matched my own as he leaned in close, his gaze so intense it was almost hard to keep eye contact.
But it would have been harder to break.
He raised a hand to my face and dragged his thumb under my lower lip. That alone stoked the fire darting through me even higher. “Oh, Lolo, this is no dream. Dreams have nothing on the real thing. On having you.”
Leaning down, Burr slipped his tongue between my lips, while his rigid shaft brushed against my core. I gasped into his mouth. In that moment, it was as though I became aware of every drop of water sliding across my skin, the soft intake of ragged breaths and the way the light wrapped around us in a mellow hue. Somehow too, I became even more aware of Burr.
The ridges of his stomach sliding against mine. The pattern of veins standing out against his solid musculature. His callused fingers drifting down and gripping hard at my waist, with his other hand cupping my neck. The bruising pressure of his lips against mine.
Burr seemed to be holding back, for who knows what reason, and the ache in my center – which had been growing unbearable since Burr barged in – was now making me squirm.
Oh, I’d never felt like this – an all-encompassing and agonizing need to be sated.
As though sensing I was nearly at my breaking point, Burr left one lingering kiss on my lips and pulled back. His green eyes mirrored the same tumult of desires and emotions.
HOTSHOT BROTHERS: Coyote Shifters Page 42
