“And that I could come to Montana with my parents,” I added.
“Hm, yeah,” Cree raised an eyebrow at that but didn’t elaborate. “I thought he was going to tell you everything. Well, I tried.” He paused. “But I guess it is better in a face-to-face scenario.”
Looking up at Cree, I wondered how hard it would be to not default back to trying to worm the truth out of him before Rayner came back. I could always act surprised.
“What’s that look for?” Cree teased, reaching up and tugging on my ponytail.
A dizzying flood of tingles hit me from head to toe and I spun away. “It’s better if you don’t know.” Changing the subject, I asked, “Do you wanna watch a movie?”
“Sure,” he said, following me to the couch.
A little while later, we were sharing a bowl of popcorn and watching Swingers, which Cree assured me was hilarious and I had to admit it was.
“You’re a bad man,” Vince Vaughn’s character was saying. “A bad man.”
Leaning over to Cree, I whispered, “Is this the movie where you picked up your ladykiller skills?”
“Ladykiller skills, ha! You kill me. And no. Oh, no. That’s an even deeper, darker, and deadlier secret,” he whispered back. “First rule of fight club and all that.”
“So you and my brother are in a fight club?” I asked, looking over at him.
Cree leaned in closer, frowning a little. “Wait, I thought you said Ray was waiting to tell you until he got back.”
I gasped. “Excuse me?”
He grinned. “That’s what you get.” Then Cree patted my knee. “Be patient, grasshopper.”
Falling quiet again, we continued watching the movie, but now I was finding it harder to concentrate. Cree had left his hand resting on my knee and it made excitement sing through my blood. I had a feeling it wasn’t intentional though, and that was a little disappointing.
At that moment, Cree’s head drooped onto my shoulder and I stiffened in surprise. Maybe it was.
Then I saw that he’d fallen asleep, his face adorably serious in slumber.
And for the second time that night, I did something I knew I shouldn’t. I snuggled into Cree, letting my cheek rest on the top of his hair and laying my hand on his forearm.
Part of me felt like I could have fallen asleep right then and there, but there was too much fizz in my veins for that. So I watched the rest of the movie alone, keeping as quiet as possible. When it ended, Cree didn’t stir, so I flicked around Netflix for another movie.
When we were picking out the first one, he’d seen almost every movie on here. It turned out Cree was a big movie buff. Star Wars, The Fast and the Furious, and Forrest Gump were his favorites.
He stirred as I queued up a trailer, letting out a content yawn and his hand squeezing my knee. As he sat up, I lifted my hand and he glanced down in surprise.
“Sorry. Must’ve been more tired than I thought.” His sleepy voice made my heart race. “What’re you doing? You like the movie?”
“I did. Now I’m watching trailers.” Really I was watching him out of the corner of my eye.
Cree was blinking at the TV in amusement. Then his eyes went wide and his spine went straight. “What is this?”
“Um, An American Werewolf in London,” I said, glancing from him to the TV. A man on the screen was insisting he'd been attacked by an animal to a doctor and a nurse. “It’s supposed to be funny, but it seems kind of horror film-ish.”
Silent, Cree leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands as he watched the trailer. I kept glancing between him and the TV. If I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn it was bothering him...
The werewolf was saying grimly, “I know. I’m a monster,” and I saw Cree flinch.
I was about to say something when the lead actress appeared on screen, grabbing the man, pleading with the werewolf. “I can help you.”
“No,” the werewolf cried out. “I’m not safe to be with. You gotta stay away from me!”
Standing up abruptly, Cree swallowed hard and muttered, “Sorry, I’m beat. Going to bed.”
I stared at him. The muscles in his neck were tight with tension and his gaze was shadowed. Speechless, I watched as he walked away to his room and shut the door, apparently not noticing I’d failed to respond or that I’d lifted up a hand to stop him.
“What was that all about?” I murmured, falling back against the cushions.
Chapter 9
Sitting up in bed, I groaned, putting my hands over my face. The blankets were twisted around me and I jerkily straightened them, knocking the pillows to the floor in the process.
It was 2 a.m. and I’d been tossing and turning for hours.
My mind was a vortex of knotted worries. I’d started to wonder if it had been my place to put Rayner in a corner like that. Nobody puts Thor in a corner.
But even that stupid joke didn’t make me laugh.
I’d told him if he didn’t tell Sky I would. That the distance between them was eating her alive. How much she missed her older brother.
Now I worried it was not only the wrong thing to do but even dumber than my joke.
In that moment, I’d forgotten the danger. I’d forgotten why Rayner might have made that choice. It wasn’t like I’d told Gam, Pop, or Uncle Silas.
Underneath all of that was a gnawing sense of anxiety I couldn’t and didn’t want to deal with. In Montana, I could get up and go for a run. I could talk to Aunt Sil or maybe Burr or Wes. But here, hemmed in by the city, I was trapped. Part of me was rearing to run all the way to Wenatchee or Olympic National Forests, it was so bad. Can’t leave Sky, though.
I hated this shit. It made me sick to my stomach.
Every time I thought I’d beaten it, it would come back. This inexplicable anxiety building into fear. Always attacking me from a new angle.
It wasn’t the fear of what we faced as Hotshot Brothers or our shared destinies.
It was fear of being a shifter.
How messed up was that? It made no sense to me. I loved almost everything about it, except for the secret, of course. Being trusted with something like that had always weighed heavily on me.
Only Aunt Sil and Burr knew how much. I was too embarrassed to tell the other guys, although I knew they suspected it. Too many nightmares and too many times running off to avoid talking about it.
My stomach churned as another thought assaulted me. And I wished I’d thought it through more convincing Rayner to tell Sky.
What if Sky is repulsed by it? Or doesn’t look at you the same way? What if she thinks you’re one of these monsters running around Seattle?
But I’m not! I screamed inside my head, gripping my hair. Dammit, why am I so weak? Why do I let myself think these things? I’ve saved countless lives – both as a firefighter and a shifter. I’m proud to be both. I don’t care what Sky thinks!
It wasn’t enough; my heart rate was increasing and I stood up, pacing around and trying to calm myself. Panic was cramping in my gut and I grit my teeth. Oh, shit.
As a kid, I had been prone to anxiety and panic attacks. Then, in middle school, I’d discovered track and both had ceased. Running was my outlet.
But I had another one, too. Only I was afraid it might wake up Sky.
Okay, I’d splash some water on my face and drink some water. I’d be fine. I wasn’t going to have a panic attack – I wasn’t having one now. I didn’t have them anymore. Bolting from my room, I was almost in the kitchen when I heard Sky’s door open and I turned around.
“Cree?” She rubbed her cheek. “What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” I said, shifting from foot to foot.
Her hair glowed in the dim lights from outside as she walked towards me. “Such a bad liar,” Sky murmured. “And you didn’t wake me because you made any noise.” She shook her head sleepily. “I woke up because you needed me, I think.”
I gaped at her, my heart now slamming in my throa
t. “Sky, I don’t know what you mean…”
“Did you have a bad dream? You’re practically shaking you’re so tense. Here.” She caught my wrists and turned them over so my palms were facing up. I stared down at her. Then, adjusting her hands, she placed her thumbs just below my wrists and began to massage them.
“What are you doing?” I asked gruffly.
“Reflexology.” Sky smiled up at me. “Unblocking your chi. My mom has a studio where she does all this stuff and she taught us growing up, so it’s like second nature to me. Is it helping?”
My speeding heart was slowing, but I was still keyed up. “Yeah, a little. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” Sky gazed up at me. “Let me help you out for once. What helps?” Her eyes were holding on to me, sure and steady. It made me weak in the knees.
“Music,” I managed to get out. “Any kind. Listening, playing, singing.”
“Come here,” she said, grabbing my hand and leading me into her room. I balked at the door, but she gave me a stern look over her shoulder and I caved in a millisecond.
Sky’s room was airy with a sense of serenity that immediately wrapped around me. Everything had a bohemian-hippie feel. It wasn’t quite what I’d been expecting. Tapestries lined the walls and there was a sizable elephant statue in the corner. Opposite it, half-hidden by an ornate curtain, was a nook with her desk.
“Lie down on your stomach,” Sky instructed, standing by her bedside table and flipping through her phone.
“On your bed?” I said, looking at it. It was big and comfortable looking, like a big pale blue cloud overflowing with pillows. “Are you sure?”
“Cree, I woke up out of a dead sleep. I’m sure.”
Earlier Sky had spoken of her hippie-dippie parents in scathing terms, but I’d taken that with a grain of salt. Of all us, Rayner was the most in tune with the spirit world. He had something we called “sight.” Insight into people as well as time.
Yet even before we had become shifters, Rayner had always had an uncanny sense about things. We used to joke and call him Madame Ray.
Something about Sky in this moment was reminding me of that. Maybe she wasn’t so far removed from our world as Rayner thought.
Rayner. “Your brother would kill me,” I said, even as I stepped forward.
“He would understand,” she said. “Besides, he’s not going to find out.”
Nodding, I gave in and lay down on Sky’s bed. Her sweet scent filled my nose and my entire body relaxed for a glorious moment.
It’s exactly what a cloud would feel like if it wasn’t made of water, I thought.
Soft music played from her speakers, a haunting mix of piano and violin. The notes washed over me, lingering along my skin and I sighed, crossing my arms and putting my face in my elbow.
Then I tensed as Sky got on the bed as well and she sat next to me. Her cool fingers began to circle along my spine and I tried to enjoy it, but I knew I shouldn’t.
“Listen to the music, Cree. Ignore me,” she murmured. “Focus on your breathing.”
Somehow I did, little by little. Minutes drifted by and my body unwound. Soon I was half-asleep and clear-headed again, knowing I should get out of Sky’s bed.
But she was relentless. Her hands were strong and capable, getting every last knot out of my back while carefully avoiding my shoulder. She finished with my neck, which was heaven. I had to bite my tongue to keep from moaning out loud in bliss.
“Whew, I think I got them all,” she said. “Here, let me check.”
“Thank you,” I murmured, as her hands traveled across my back.
“Were you in the military?” she asked.
I lifted my head slightly. “Yeah, why?”
“Well, tonight. The way you were acting. It reminded me a little of my dad.” Her voice was low and kind. “He served a long time ago in the army for a few years. Saw action in the Gulf War.”
“Oh,” I said slowly.
“Yeah. That’s how he met my mom, actually. He came back and kept having nightmares. Ignored it for years until it finally got so bad he couldn’t anymore. Thought he was going to have to drop out of school, but a mutual friend of theirs recommended he go see her.” Sky paused. “She helped him cope and heal.
“Then, later, they became friends because he got hooked on all the stuff she was into.” She laughed lightly. “He always says he doesn’t understand how they didn’t fall in love sooner.”
“He had PTSD?” I asked, the word heavy in my mouth.
Sky was working on the back of my hip bone. “He did, yes,” she said. “Sometimes, when we were little, the nightmares would come back. But he hasn’t had a bad spell in a long time. Meditation, exercise, Mom – it all helped.”
“Well, I never saw action,” I said. “I was in the Navy – the most action I saw was getting in trouble with my commanding officers for goofing off. I mean, it was brutal, but I never fought.”
“Oh,” Sky said. “Well, I figured it was maybe that or firefighting. I know it used to take a toll on Rayner. He’d be wiped for days after, lying around and barely talking.”
I nodded, even though I wasn’t really listening. I was too busy trying to figure out why this fucking fear wouldn’t leave me alone. I’d truly thought I’d gotten over it.
“While you’re here, I can show you pressure points to help relieve tension,” Sky was saying.
Doesn’t know she’s massaging a monster. The nasty little voice in the back of my head had woken up again. Imagine how she’ll feel once she finds out what she’s touching.
“Cree.” Sky brought me back to the present and her voice was fierce. “This doesn’t make you weak, you know.” I didn’t answer and she suddenly quoted, “‘I don’t want to die without any scars.’”
“Fight Club?” I laughed in a brittle way. “Well, I have plenty of scars. I’m set.”
To my surprise, Sky stopped and laid her head down above my heart, placing her other hand on my lower back. “Rumi said, ‘The wound is the place where the light enters you.’ He knew what he was talking about.” I felt the flutter of her eyelashes against my skin and longing surged through me. “No one, I think, is more filled with light and strength than you, Cree Campbell.”
Telling myself I was going to get up in a minute, thank her and leave, I instead lay still, eyes closed, and listened to her breathe, which was somehow more soothing than my own breath. The last of the tension seemed to seep out of me as I became boneless on her bed.
I didn’t want to move. I only wished that I was holding onto Sky as I lay here.
But instead, she was holding onto me, and that might have been even better.
The first thing that I became aware of the next morning is that I was smiling.
Stretching, I rolled over, then sat up and gazed around the room. Then my eyes went wide as they circled through it. Sky’s room. I’d never left.
Glancing to my left, I saw her sprawled next to me, hogging most of the bed. One of her feet was dangling off and the other was resting by me. One of her arms was flung across her stomach, the other out to the side and her hair was in a pile on her pillow. At that moment she let out a soft snore and I stifled a laugh.
Man, she’s cute when she sleeps.
Curious, I studied her room in the light of day. Last night I hadn’t noticed the pretty Eastern art touches and the overflowing bookshelves, as well as stacks on stacks of books. It almost felt like an artist’s loft.
On the bedside table next to me was a thick stack of paper, bound with a black ring. Leaning over, I saw that it said, “Untitled. By S. A. Hess.”
Sky wrote a book? I picked it up and weighed it in my hands. Wow.
“Mmmm,” Sky suddenly stretched out like a starfish and opened her eyes. “What time is it? Am I late again?” Then her eyes fell on me and she sat up straight. “Cree. Hi.”
“Hi,” I said back. “Guess I fell asleep after that excellent 2:30 a.m. massage. Now, do you do walk-in’s or is it by ap
pointment only?"
Punching my shoulder, she laughed. “Are you feeling better?”
“You have no idea,” I said. Then, eager to stop talking about me, I said, “When’s this going to be published?”
Sky looked down in confusion and then her eyes went huge. She looked up at me in terror. “Did you read it?”
“No,” I said, giving her a superior look. “I respect people’s privacy and their stuff.”
She winced. “Ha, I deserve that. Sorry, by the way.” Gently Sky took the book from me and rubbed her finger across her name. “And the answer is never. It’s not done.”
“It’s bound. It looks ready to be submitted to a publisher.” Sky raised her eyebrows and I shrugged. “What? I know things.”
“I thought it was,” she said, putting it aside.
“Can I read it?” I asked, unable to stop glancing at it.
“No,” Sky said flatly and scrambled out of bed with it. She dumped the book on a nearby table and then snatched up a robe. At that moment I realized Sky had been in bed with me in only a t-shirt and panties and my entire body went white-hot.
Oh, thank God I somehow didn’t notice that last night.
“Uh, why not?” I asked, putting my hands behind my head and looking at the ceiling.
“Because…” she muttered.
I looked back down at her and shook my head, “Mm, I’m gonna need a better reason here, Hess. Can’t hold back from your bestie.”
Flipping her hair back, Sky laughed as she looked at me and her eyes went soft. “I…” Suddenly the distance between us felt like too much. Sky must have sensed that too, as she wandered over to the bed. Then she blinked, her cheeks going pink as she looked away. “Ah, what was I saying?”
Does it matter? I thought, my eyes falling to her lips. Can you come closer so we can kiss?
Mentally slapping myself, I sat up straight and let my hands drop. “Breakfast?”
“Oh, yeah,” Sky hastened towards the door. “Let me take a shower and we can go get breakfast. Uh, bye. I mean, I’ll see you in a minute. Go get dressed.” And she fled.
“What the hell was that, Campbell?” I asked myself as I got out of her bed. “Cool your jets, coyote. And maybe never come back in here.”
HOTSHOT BROTHERS: Coyote Shifters Page 57
