by MJ Carnal
Caleb pulled Kevin into the living room. His eyes were glassy and he reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. He stumbled into furniture, speaking in a voice so jumbled, Caleb struggled to understand him. He pushed him onto the couch and Kevin immediately shut his eyes. Grabbing the blanket off the ottoman, he covered his inebriated friend and chuckled. “That’s going to suck in the morning. Sweet dreams, Merck.”
Caleb turned the lights off in the living room and grabbed a novel off the bookshelf. He yanked his shirt off and settled into bed in his boxers. It had been a long week, every second feeling like an eternity. Sleep was his respite.
A loud crash pulled him from his slumber. He woke with a start, looking at the time on his clock. Two AM. The house was too silent. Something felt off. He reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. A small gurgling noise had him racing from this bedroom. Flipping on the living room light, Caleb gasped. “What the fuck, Merck?” The glass table in the hallway was turned on its side and Kevin lay motionless next to it, bleeding all over the marble tile. “Shit.”
Caleb backtracked to his room and grabbed his phone. She picked up on the first ring. “Andi, where are you?” He was out of breath as he ran to the kitchen to pull the hand towel from the stove. He didn’t do blood. And the amount that had already pooled on the floor was alarming.
“Our shift just ended. A few of us are heading out to get breakfast.” Andi whispered to someone.
“I need you. Oh God.” Caleb gagged.
“What’s wrong?” He could hear her start to run. He could always count on her. No questions asked.
“Kevin is lying in our hallway. He’s got a huge gash on his head and there is blood everywhere. Fucking hurry up.”
“Caleb, don’t panic. Put pressure on the wound. Is he responsive?”
“He’s breathing but he sure as shit isn’t awake. I’m going to be sick.”
“Man up. We are five minutes out. Keep pressure on the wound. And for the love of God, if you are passed out when we get there, I will never let you forget it.” Andi hung up.
Caleb groaned as he looked down at the blood. When Andi was younger, she had fallen off her bike. She had been ungraceful even at an early age. Her collarbone had snapped, a sound Caleb had never forgotten. She had bled all over her sweatshirt and it had taken him exactly two minutes to knock himself out on the pavement, passing out from the site of her blood. Their mother had been panicked, both children in the back of the ambulance speeding off to the hospital. In the end, it had been Andi that had held him, bone sticking out through the skin, and he had never lived it down.
Moretti had a field day. Word had spread like wildfire and it seemed like every day, another joke involving fake blood had been dealt at the hands of Mark, Rich and Ryan. He chuckled at the memory, trying to push the image of what was happening out of his head.
Kevin stirred, a groan escaping his lips. “Dead.”
Caleb looked down. “Merck?”
Kevin tried to sit up. He grabbed his head, confusion written all over his face as he looked at his blood covered hands. “Allen?” He struggled to free himself from Caleb’s grasp.
“Hold still you son of a bitch.” Caleb closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Kevin calmed. “You fell. Just hold still.”
Kevin let out one long sob, the sound echoing through the house. His face was pure agony. “She’s dead.” He whispered before he passed out.
Andi and Jena rushed through the front door. Caleb looked up as a wave of relief washed over his whole body. “Thank fuck.”
Andi stopped cold. Taking in the site of the blood, her jaw dropped. “What the hell happened?” Her brother was covered in it and Kevin’s face was pale.
Jena didn’t hesitate. Securing a pair of gloves on her hands, She knelt down at his side, removing the hand towel Caleb was holding. She inspected the gash with the pen light she had in her jacket pocket. She handed Caleb a package of sterile gauze and looked at Andi. “Grab my bag. There is a suture kit in there and I need the lidocaine. Caleb, are you ok?”
He nodded, his entire focus on what she was doing. “It’s like a crime scene in here.” He breathing was shallow and sweat poured down his face.
“Kevin, can you hear me? I need you to hold still. Hold his shoulders, Caleb. Andi, hold this light.” Jena numbed his forehead and began to sew the wound closed. Kevin groaned but never moved. It took twenty-two stitches to stop the bleeding and Caleb had gagged every time the needle had punctured his skin. When she was finished and looked up, she began to laugh. Andi and Caleb both looked at her, brows drawn in confusion. “Andi, help your brother to the couch. He’s green.”
“Jena?” Kevin’s eyes fluttered open. His voice was slurred and hoarse.
She rubbed his arm. “Just lie there sweetie. I’m going to start an IV and get you hydrated. I know this isn’t comfortable but I don’t want to move you yet. If you don’t start looking better, I’m calling the ambulance.”
“Ok.” His eyes were red and glassy. “Thank you, J.”
~~~
Caleb leaned against the wall, staring down at Jena. She had been amazing, jumping into action and still giving him hell for being such a pussy. She had even cleaned up the hallway and managed to get Kevin out of his shirt and comfortable with a blanket and pillow. She sat with her knees tucked into her chest, staring at him while he slept.
“Thank you.” She startled at the sound of his voice.
She smiled at Caleb, taking in the sight of him, fresh out of the shower in a pair of pajama pants. He was sex, wrapped in lust, with a side of guaranteed pleasure. His green eyes were hooded, his hair styled in chaos, like he had just gotten out of bed. She struggled to swallow as her throat constricted. “Hi.”
“Hi.” He smiled as he sat down next to her. “You were amazing, Dr. Turner.”
She blushed. “Thank you, Mr. Allen.” Her hands longed to touch him so she tightened her grip on her legs. “I was proud of you too. Andi told me the bike story.”
He groaned. “She lied.”
Jena laughed but stopped when she saw Kevin start to sit up. “Easy, Kevin. Are you ok?”
He reached for his head and hissed as he touched the suture line. He glanced at the IV in his arm, his bare chest, the blood on his jeans. “I’m sorry.” His body sagged and his eyes filled with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok. You are alright. That’s all that matters.” Jena moved across the marble floor and pulled him into a hug. “You took a major fall. Head wounds bleed a lot, but more so after you have had your weight in alcohol.”
“I’m so sorry.” Kevin slurred pulling Jena into a tighter embrace.
Caleb sat up straighter, jealousy running like ice water through his veins. When Kevin looked at him, his eyes were haunted. “What’s going on, Merck? What happened?”
“She’s gone.” His words hardly recognizable. Tears ran down Kevin’s cheeks as his body began to shake. “Help me up. I’m gonna be sick.”
Chapter 15
Kevin shivered as he looked at Caleb. His brain sloshed with his alcohol fog. His voice garbled. “Her name was Kelly.” He wiped his eyes and looked at Jena. “I’m sorry, J. I love you. I do. You’ve been good to me.” Each sentence was a little more slurred than the last.
Jena rubbed his leg. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“It’s been five years.” Kevin took a deep breath. “She was a dancer. She was walking into the apartment and she was jumped. Three men.”
Jena shivered. Her mind clouded with thoughts of rain and footsteps. “No,” she whispered.
Kevin grabbed her hand. “You are stronger. So much stronger.” His red eyes stung with tears. “She was beaten, left by the dumpster. I found her the next morning when I was taking the trash out.”
“Kevin.” Caleb’s eyes were wide. He had known Kevin for more than a year now. He had spent countless nights at the bars and even more days at the gym with him. He suddenly realized he didn’t know him at all.
“She was pregnant. Those bastards left something permanent to remind her. I tried to help her. She wouldn’t let me. Jena, let me help you.”
Jena shot to her feet. Her face paled and her eyes filled with tears. “Stop.”
“Jena.” Kevin held his hands out to her. “I couldn’t save her. She killed herself in my apartment. Five years ago today. My sister. She was my only family.”
“Holy shit.” Andi stood in the doorway stunned. “What’s going on?”
“I can’t.” She paced the room, her body trembling, her breathing shallow. Her heart pounded in her chest. This couldn’t be happening. Not here. She glanced at the doorway. She felt trapped.
“Don’t run.” Caleb stood and she flinched. “Whatever is happening, it’s ok.”
“Let me save you.” Kevin stumbled to his feet as Jena moved for the door. “You have to tell him. Tell him so I can save you.”
“Kevin.” She yelled. “Don’t do this to me.”
Caleb moved in front of the doorway and she froze. Her breathing became erratic. “You have to move.”
“Did someone hurt you?” His voice cracked. “Did I hurt you?” He stood his ground when she tried to move past him.
Jena crumbled to the floor. Sobbing, she covered her face with her hands. Caleb knelt beside her, pulling her into his arms. “I can’t.”
“Baby, look at me.” She shook her head, continuing to soak his chest with tears. “Please. Let me in.”
“It wasn’t you.” Kevin stumbled as he approached them. “It wasn’t you, Allen. It was a man who….”
“Make it stop.” Jena buried her face in Caleb’s neck.
“Andi, get him out of here.” Caleb pleaded. When the door finally shut, he sighed. “You’re safe. I promise you that. Please talk to me.”
“I don’t know how to tell you.”
“Jena, there is absolutely nothing you could say to me that would change how I feel about you.” Caleb tucked her hair behind her ear. “I love you so fiercely that when you walk into a room, I forget to breathe. When you walk out, my heart stops. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“Oh God.” Her voice trembled. Silence took over the room for several minutes before she took a deep breath. “When I was in high school, I was walking home alone. It was pouring rain. I heard his footsteps but I couldn’t run fast enough.” She made eye contact for the first time. Silent tears ran down his face as he rocked her in his lap. “He was drunk and dirty.”
Caleb continued to rock her as her breathing steadied. “I’m so sorry, Jena.”
“I’ve spent years trying to forget. My parents were so ashamed. I was only a child. They sent me to live with my Aunt and Uncle because it made the news. I hated them so much for abandoning me. He stole my innocence and took years of my life away from me. And they just threw me away like I was nothing.” Her anger grew as she continued. “And now he is stealing my future.”
Caleb leaned back and looked at her. “How is stealing your future? Is he back?”
“Yes. But not like you think. It was all buried…” Her voice trailed off.
“Oh my God.” Caleb interrupted. “I did something. What was it?”
Jena shook her head. It hurt to tell him. It was the most painful thing she had ever done. But when the look of agony crossed Caleb’s face as he realized he had triggered the memory, she died inside. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine for never learning to handle it.”
“I put my hand over your mouth. Oh, Jena. Oh God I’m so sorry.” Caleb whispered. His heart shattered.
“You didn’t know.”
He pulled her back into his lap, his arms wrapping around her shoulders, pulling her as close to him as he could. “Where is this son of a bitch?”
“I don’t know. They never caught him. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.” Jena looked into his beautiful emerald eyes.
He kissed her gently and she melted into him. “Am I your first since?”
“Yes.” She whispered.
“Your innocence was brutally taken from you. And you pick me, the guy with the piercing that likes to tie you up and control you. I’m such a fucking asshole.” He kissed her forehead and loosened his grip on her shoulders. “And I don’t know how to be anything else. I don’t know how to give up control.”
“Caleb, you have been more than I ever expected. So much more. You are this kind hearted, caring person to everyone you know. And then your bedroom door shuts and you are this dominant and fearless man that makes me weak at the knees. I wouldn’t change anything.”
“I scared you. I reminded you of the son of a bitch that hurt you. I would have killed him. If I had known you then, I would have killed him for touching you. For stealing something so precious. For making you have one second of doubt or torment in your life.”
“I know. That’s why you are so amazing.” She kissed the corner of his mouth and he closed his eyes. “I got scared. It wasn’t your fault. I’m working with a new doctor. Kevin introduced me to him. And in a tiny amount of time, he has helped me so much. I want to feel whole. I want to be able to let go and live my life.”
“And you need time.” Caleb hugged her. “I can give you time.”
“And space.” She nodded. “I’m so sorry. I am leaving for Seattle on Wednesday. I would never ask you to wait for me. That wouldn’t be fair to you. I have loved every minute of us. I will never forgive myself for hurting you. But I have to start living my life without looking over my shoulder.”
“And you can’t do that here?” Tears threatened to fall from his eyes but he blinked them away.
“I’m so sorry.”
Chapter 16
“Mr. Allen, I have a delivery for you.” Caleb’s assistant buzzed his office, drawing Caleb’s attention from his daydream. She giggled. “Should I bring it in?”
Caleb smiled. “Your laugh has me intrigued. Yes, bring it in Kathy.”
His office door opened and Kathy walked in with a grin on her face. She held up the pineapple with the large red bow. “Floral occasions drove up in their huge delivery van, shuffled around in the back and then walked up with this. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh but I’ve never seen a pineapple get delivered with such flare.”
Caleb chuckled. “It’s from Moretti. Another clue to their wedding. They’ve been torturing us with not knowing where we’re going.” It felt like the first time he had smiled in weeks.
“It made my day.” Kathy went to leave the room but turned at the last minute. “Off the record, it is really nice to see you laugh again.”
“Thank you.” Caleb smiled at the woman who had been his assistant since he had been promoted. “Moretti is coming by in a bit. Just show him in when he gets here.”
As Kathy shut the door, Caleb dialed the number that had been permanently etched in his brain. When her voicemail picked up, he took a deep breath. “Jena, I wish you would call me back. It’s been four weeks. I can’t do this anymore.” He slammed his phone onto his desk.
Four weeks. He had watched her walk out of his life after the mother of all confessions. He had begged her not to go, dignity be damned. He had called and sent texts and flowers. And from her corner of the map, there had been silence. Four weeks of torturous, agonizing, mind numbing silence. His heart was destroyed, his brain scrambled, his soul completely broken. His love for her had grown, not lessened. He had hoped that once the dust settled, she would realize how much he cared for her. He had prayed that she would call, telling him she loved him, and he would have jumped on the next plane, leaving every bit of his life behind. But her silence had spoken volumes and he knew it was time to let go.
He had cried more in the few months he had known her than he had in all of his thirty years. And when he typed the words that would haunt him for the remainder of his life, tears fell freely once again. It was his goodbye. But it wasn’t just goodbye to the beautiful surgeon that had stolen his heart. It was goodbye to the possibility of forever. It was goodbye to the hope
s and dreams he had believed would come true. It was goodbye to the man he became the second she had walked into his life.
~~~
“There’s the lazy sack of shit Sophie calls her boss.” Mark smiled as he entered his office. “How are you, stranger?”
Caleb smiled. It was nice to see him. He had to admit, he had been a hermit for the last few weeks. “Marco, It’s good to see you bro.” He pulled Mark into a hug, noticing they were not alone.
“Allen, this is Lily. She’s Sophie’s college roommate. Lily, this is Caleb.” Mark smiled as Caleb’s eyes roamed Lily.
“Lily.” He tried her name on for size. She was pretty. A pang of guilt ripped through his stomach. “It’s nice to meet you.”
She smiled. Her blue eyes lit up her face. Long blond hair hung loose down her back. “Nice to meet you too. I’ve heard quite a bit about you.”
“I’m pretty important.” Caleb smiled his crooked smile but couldn’t hold back the laughter.
“I hadn’t heard that.” She giggled.
“Can I hug you?” Caleb didn’t wait for an answer. “How tall are you?”
She giggled again. “Well, not all of us can be seven feet tall.”
Caleb picked her up. Mark crossed his arms as Sophie walked into the room and gasped. “Caleb Allen, put her down! What is wrong with you? And why the hell are you so smug, Mark?”
Lily continued to laugh as she tried to wiggle free of his grasp. Caleb winked at Sophie and put her down. “You are the elementary school teacher. Are you the same height as the kids you teach?” He flashed her the dimple.
“Funny. He’s funny.” She smiled at Sophie.
“She isn’t a toy, Allen.” Mark couldn’t help but laugh at Sophie’s mortified expression.
“But she could be.” Caleb winked at Lily.
“Caleb!” Sophie pulled Lily from the office. “I’m so sorry. They’re cavemen. Honestly.”
“I think this is going to be the greatest wedding ever. First Ryan, then Caleb. Who else is hiding in the wings?” Lily laughed as she turned around to see Caleb watching her. “Single?” She asked Sophie.
