by Jenna Jacob
James and Ian.
Thinking about them filled me with giddy anticipation. I had to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep from grinning.
“Holy crap, those two guys are a total waste of hotness,” Cindy whistled.
I started to laugh. “They’re not gay.”
Her eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. “And just how do you…. Oh, Liz. They’re the reason you looked like homegrown hell yesterday. Aren’t they? You—”
“—Hush. I’m not saying.” I smirked.
“You don’t have to, you lucky little shit, it’s written all over your face,” she hissed, then leaned in close. “I want details in living color, surround sound, all of it. And don’t you dare leave one heart-racing fact out. Now talk.”
“We don’t have time for this. We have patients to take care of,” I said, waving her off with a sweep of my hand.
“Bitch,” she chided teasingly. “Which one?”
I bit my lips together, but my eyes betrayed me.
“Oh. My. God. Are you f’ing kidding me? Oh, Liz,” she squealed. Slapping a hand over her mouth when a couple of other nurses looked our way, Cindy’s eyes grew wide.
“Be quiet,” I hissed.
“You did them both, didn’t you?”
“Still think I’m a prude?” I taunted, arching my brows. “Don’t choke while eating the word you called me the other day, okay?”
“Touché. Well played,” she replied in awe. A huge grin spread over her mouth. “You’re going to give me every blow-by-blow, or rather, thrust-by-thrust detail. Don’t think for one second I’m going to let you weasel your way out of it either. God, I can’t even imagine…oh hell, who am I kidding? Fuck yes, I can imagine, but I still want to hear every juicy minute of it.”
Before I could tell her to forget it, Dr. Reynolds rushed past. “EMS just pulled up. Time for the fun to start, ladies.”
“This conversation is not over,” Cindy warned, wagging her finger in my face.
I couldn’t do anything but laugh and shake my head as we ran to the trauma room. Adrenaline and the familiar, soothing sense of purpose filled me as I focused on the patient before me. It took a while, but we finally stabilized the middle-aged man who’d been in a nasty construction accident and sent him up to surgery.
The life and death decisions in the ER helped me focus on my job. But every quiet moment that worked its way into my busy evening, I daydreamed about James and Ian. About their nurturing, protective, Dominant ways. Counting my blessings, not only that they had chosen me but that I’d been brave enough to take the plunge and enter into this unconventional relationship.
My stomach gurgled, and I glanced at my watch. Grabbing my purse, I called out to Cindy that I was leaving for my lunch break. She smiled and waved before I pushed past the double doors and walked toward the elevator. When the shiny metal doors opened, Ryan stepped off.
His hazel eyes reflected a look as cold as glaciers.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, blinking up at him.
He flashed me a sheepish grin and shrugged as warmth returned in his stare. “I came to see if you’d have dinner with me so we could talk.”
Fully aware that neither Ian nor James wanted me to have this conversation with Ryan alone, I couldn’t very well pull out my cell phone and invite them to the cafeteria. But I didn’t want to go against their wishes either.
Shit.
“Look, Ryan, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Why—”
“I was an ass yesterday, Liz. I’m sorry. I called you horrible, vile names… I didn’t mean them. I swear. I—I was…well, I was shocked to find you in bed with—”
“Why didn’t you call me? Give me some warning that you were back in town?”
“Why would I need to warn you?” he asked, wearing a wounded expression. “I wanted to surprise you, but that backfired in my face, didn’t it? I know. I know. It serves me right.”
My brows drew together. While his remorse seemed genuine, it still surprised me. Having grown up the only child of ubër wealthy parents, Ryan’s attitude was usually one of entitlement, not repentance.
“Please, Liz. I know in the past I took you…took us, and our whole relationship for granted. I’m sorry. I know I fucked up. I just want to talk.”
I bit my lip. Indecision ran rampant. Ryan had been sucker-punched when he walked in the day before. And though it had been his own fault for not calling, it didn’t change the fact that after all he’d done for me, Ryan deserved better. Deep down, I knew I owed him the courtesy of at least a conversation.
“I grabbed some submarine sandwiches from that shop down on Maple Street. You know the place that has the cherry lime-aids? I got you one of those too. It’s all out in my car.”
“Okay,” I replied with a tentative nod. “Why don’t you go grab them and I’ll meet you in the cafeteria.”
Ryan frowned. “I don’t want to talk about our personal life with a bunch of strangers eavesdropping. Can’t we go someplace quiet and talk? It’s a beautiful evening. Let’s get out of here for a little bit. I swear I’ll have you back in an hour whether we’re done talking or not.”
His pleading expression cut me to the core. He seemed sincerely apologetic, and while it didn’t change the fact that we were finished as a couple, I didn’t want us parting as enemies. We’d been happy together once, or at least I thought we had. By Ryan’s contrite expression, he evidently thought the same.
“Where did you want to go?” I asked.
Suddenly, I was frightened that Ryan would try to persuade me into giving him one more chance. The thought made me cringe inwardly. Getting back together with him was out of the question. James and Ian owned more than my submission; they owned my heart now, too.
“How about we go to that little park by the lake? You know, the one we used to go to when we first started dating?”
“You do understand that it’s over between us, right?” I asked, making sure he wasn’t going to try and worm his way back into my life.
A grim, melancholy smile tugged the corners of his mouth as he nodded. “I know. I fucked up bad, Liz. But, come on. Let’s get out of here so we can talk.”
In an uncharacteristic display of affection, Ryan wrapped his arm around my waist. The difference between his touch and James and Ian’s was staggering. Ryan’s felt cold and awkward, definitely not the warm, erotic glow I experienced with my Doms.
Ryan held the door of his Audi open for me, and I climbed into the passenger seat. A tiny smile tugged the corner of my mouth as I spied the cherry lime-aid sitting in the cup holder. It was sweet that he remembered it was my favorite. I took a long sip from the straw as Ryan climbed in behind the wheel.
“Mmm.” The tart, sweet taste of lemon, lime, and cherry burst over my tongue.
Ryan flashed me a broad smile. “Is it as good as you remember?”
“Yes,” I smiled. “Thank you.”
“I’m not always a total asshole, Liz,” he stated with a frown.
“I know,” I replied softly. “You helped me so much after Dayne. Thank you, Ryan.”
With a shrug, he pulled out of the parking garage. I let the cold liquid spill down my throat as I gazed at the window and stared at the beautiful sunset. Puffy clouds painted in pink, blue, and purple hues filled the sky. It was so startlingly gorgeous, I reached up and touched the window, wishing I could feel the billowing softness and colors beneath my fingers. Cars rushed past us, leaving shimmering trails of heat signatures.
That’s bizarre. What the hell is going on with my eyes?
“I am sorry for all the times I left you in the past, Liz,” Ryan stated. His voice sounded remorseful, but there was something wrong with the tone. It sounded fuzzy, deeper and so slow I wondered for a second if he was fucking with me.
Turning from the window to face him, my vision swam. Caught off guard by the sudden wave of dizziness, I shook my head. Licking my lips, my tongue felt thick, like an old-time school eraser, and my
fingers began to tingle.
Panic exploded inside me as I dragged my gaze to the Styrofoam cup in my hand. The straw swayed back and forth before the drink slid through my fingers and dropped to the floor.
Motherfucker! The son of a bitch drugged me.
“What did you put in my—”
Before I could finish my sentence, my eyes drooped shut, and the muscles in my neck dissolved. I felt my head bob once against my shoulder, then everything went black.
Slowly, I rose back up from the depths, aware of a low humming noise vibrating through me. I tried to open my eyes, but my lids felt like they’d been glued shut. Even my limbs felt like heavy anvils, and my mouth seemed as if it had been wrapped in cotton.
Memories began to flash in my mind, like the sputtering fuse of a bottle rocket, before a surge of panic rushed through me.
Ryan. He’d drugged my drink. Where am I? What’s happening?
Struggling to rise out of my drug-induced wasteland, I willed my sluggish mind to cooperate so I could gain control of my senses. A frustrated moan echoed in my ears, but too late, I realized it was my own.
“Are you waking up, sleepy-head?” Ryan’s singsong voice seeped through the fog coating my brain. “I’m glad you’re coming around, Liz. I was afraid that I’d given you too much.”
Given me too much what? What the fuck? He could have killed me. Why did he drug me in the first place? What did he want? I’m still in his car. Did the son of a bitch kidnap me? Why? What for? Where was he taking me? James. Ian… Oh god. No.
Tears stung the back of my eyes as panic rose like a tide, pulling me under and stealing the air from my lungs. My thundering heart echoed in my ears like a drum line. Moving my hand, it felt as if it had been dipped in plaster, but I finally slid my fingers over the pocket of my scrub top. The cotton fabric felt slick beneath my fingertips as I searched for my cell phone.
I needed to call James and Ian and let them know I was all right—at least for now. When I couldn’t find my phone, fear morphed into panic, then terror. Forcing my eyes open, I realized the sun was gone. Nothing but blackness lay beyond the window of Ryan’s Audi.
How long had I been out?
Blinking back my tears, I stared out the passenger window. Darkened corn fields sped by. Knowing I had to gather my wits, I started by reminding myself that a total stranger hadn’t abducted me. I knew Ryan. I’d lived with, and loved the man, once. Surely he didn’t intend to hurt me, did he? No, he would have already killed me and dumped me somewhere along the deserted road we were on. But what did he want and where the hell was he taking me?
Ian and James.
They would be out of their minds with worry. If they even knew that I was missing. They wouldn’t be back at the hospital until after midnight, and I had no idea what time it was. But more disconcerting was the fact that I’d broken my promise to them. Not only had I agreed to talk to Ryan without them, I’d willingly gone with him. I had not clue where Ryan planned to take me now.
I’d failed my Doms.
Not only had I put my life in jeopardy, but my relationship with Ian and James as well.
Half cognizant of Ryan babbling on about something, I couldn’t string meaning to his words. I was too locked in terror to try and decipher what he was saying. I rolled my head slightly to the left. The clock on the dashboard illuminated an eerie, blue light. Squinting I pushed past my blurry vision and focused.
Nine forty-five. Dear god!
I’d been unconscious for nearly four hours. My heart sank. James and Ian had no idea that I’d been kidnapped. No one had a clue what Ryan had done.
Cindy knows.
Yes. Cindy would alert Security and the police. Somewhere out there, I knew someone was looking for me; at least I desperately wanted to believe so.
Please. Someone look for me and find me.
“Answer me, Liz. I know damn good and well you’re fucking awake.”
Flinching, Ryan’s demand pierced my panic.
“Why?” I croaked. Pain shot down my throat as if I’d swallowed shards of glass.
Ryan lifted a bottle of water from the cup holder and offered it to me. I shook my head, refusing to drink it for fear he’d laced it with more drugs.
“It’s just water, baby. Here, let me show you.”
Tipping the bottle back, I watched his Adams apple bob up and down as he swallowed. Another lifetime ago I’d kissed the warm flesh of his neck there. Gazing at him, I focused on the clear-cut lines of the profile I once loved. Now I felt nothing for the man except rage and fear. Ryan handed me the bottle. I greedily filled my mouth with the cool liquid and let it rush down my throat soothing the rawness in its wake.
“Don’t be mad at me, baby,” he begged in a soft plea. “I didn’t want to have to do this to you, but after yesterday, I was afraid you wouldn’t listen to the things I wanted to tell you.”
“What things?” I whispered.
“I love you, Liz. I truly do. I can’t lose you. I know I’ve been a horrible boyfriend, partner…whatever you want to call it. But I swear. I’m going to make it all up to you. I just need you to give me a chance.”
Did he think I still loved him? That we could be together? Fuck! He was out of his mind.
Ryan reached down and threaded his fingers with mine. My blood turned to ice. I snatched my hand back as I swallowed back a sob of fear.
“See?” Ryan barked. “That’s why I had to drug you. You won’t even fucking hold my hand. You never would have come with me if I hadn’t made you.”
“Stop the car. Let me out,” I demanded. Panic crawled up my back and slashed at my lungs.
“What? On the side this dark road? Are you crazy?” he screeched.
“No. Crazy is drugging your ex-girlfriend and kidnapping her.”
“You’re not my ex!” Ryan screamed. “We’re not over until I say we are. Got it?”
Sinking into the seat, I nodded. He had lost all touch with reality. Ryan was certifiably insane and I was his hostage; his captive to do with what he pleased. He’d snapped and if I didn’t play my cards right, I could easily end up dead on the side of the road, after all.
An even more potent wave of horror spiked. I needed help…needed to call 911. Patting both pockets of my scrub top, I frantically searched for my cell phone, but it was gone.
“If you’re looking for your phone, I took it out of your pocket when you fell asleep.”
“I didn’t fall asleep. You drugged me,” I spat, then snapped my mouth shut, wishing I could take the words back.
Trying to find the balance between Ryan’s deranged mood swings, felt like I was riding a unicycle over a tight rope, while juggling the anger and terror building inside me.
“I had to. There’s something I have to show you. I didn’t have any other choice,” he explained in a terse tone.
I shifted my gaze out the windshield. The Audi’s headlights pierced the blackness and darted over fringes of flat cornfields. I studied the landscape whizzing past the window, wildly searching for a road sign…anything that might give me a clue to our location. Finally, I spotted a weathered US Route sign touting the number 6. I didn’t know what state we were in, or where Ryan planned to take me. But the lack of traffic on the road told me he’d chosen this route instead of the highway for a reason. I only hoped that reason wasn’t to dispose of my dead body somewhere along the way.
The painted, white lines dividing the narrow two-lane road sputtered past, in a silent Morse code. The need to find help pressed in all around me. What if I couldn’t find help? The thought filled me with hopelessness, but I couldn’t allow myself to sink into those depths. I needed to be rescued, and it might very well be up to me to get the job done. I closed my eyes and started drawing forth every ounce of determination in my body. I would do whatever it took, but I was going to return to James and Ian, even if it killed me.
“I’m sorry I gave up on us, Ryan,” I lied, trying to appease and calm him. “May I please have my phone
back, so I can call my supervisor? I don’t want to get fired.”
“You mean your supervisor Cindy?” he asked with a sneer. “I’ve always hated that condescending cunt. Go ahead and let the bitch fire you; it’s not like you need a job. You never had to work. I told you that from the start. But you wouldn’t listen to me. Just one more reason I had to force you to come with me. Bet you’re listening now aren’t you?”
The look of mania in his eyes terrified me.
Supplicate him. Say and do whatever you have to.
“I know. We went over that a million times. I appreciate you letting me work. You know how uncomfortable it made me asking your dad to support me, too. Just, please. Let me call Cindy and let her know I won’t be coming back to work.”
“Oh, I think she’s probably figured that out already,” he chuckled. Taking my hand once again, Ryan gave it a tight squeeze as his demeanor took another nosedive. “Relax, baby. I’m not going to hurt you. I love you. We belong together. You’ll see. It’s going to be different now. I promise.”
Just like I’d feared from the start.
“Why don’t we stop somewhere and grab something to eat?” I asked, trying to keep my tone even. I couldn’t afford to let the hysterical woman inside me take over. “We could sit down and have a long talk. Can we do that?”
“No.” He adamantly shook his head. “You might try to escape and run back to them.”
By his contemptuous tone I knew the ‘them’ Ryan referred to were James and Ian.
“Don’t I have a say in any of this? It’s my life too,” I snapped. Biting my lip, I prayed my outburst hadn’t tripped one of Ryan’s angry switches.
“That’s been our number one problem, Liz,” he responded in a quiet and reasonable tone. “We were living different lives, but never again. See, I finally figured it all out. That’s why I came back for you. It’s a damn good thing I did, too. Just sit back and relax, let me take care of you the way I should have from the start. You’ll never have to whore yourself out for attention again, Liz. I promise. I’m here and I’ll save you.”
“Save me from what?” I asked.
“Save you from ruining your life,” Ryan replied. “I don’t know what you think you were trying to prove with those two bozos yesterday, but it doesn’t matter. Just wipe them out of your mind. They’ll never understand you like I do, and you’ll never find happiness debasing yourself in such a way, either.”
