“I see a beautiful, sexy woman. What do you see?”
“A mess!” Tessa said. “My hair is still a nightmare. I’ve no makeup. And this robe is not the most flattering.”
“You are correct on only one count, and I can fix that.”
Jason tugged at the belt and the robe fell open. Tessa reflexively pulled at it, and Jason stilled her hands.
“How will a man appreciate your body when you do not? We just enjoyed the feel, the texture and the taste of some very erotic foods. Now we will do the same with your very erotic body.”
“It’s not…” Tessa’s eyes began to fill.
“It’s not what?”
“It’s not sexy.”
“Why?”
Was he really going to make her state the obvious? Jason stood still, holding Tessa’s robe open, appraising its reflection in the mirror.
“My breasts are small. My hips are big. My belly is round, not flat.”
Jason slowly placed one hand on Tessa’s left breast. “It fills my hand. It’s soft and supple.” He touched the nipple, almost reverently. “Look at your nipple. It’s beautiful.” He began rubbing her nipple between his thumb and finger. “When it’s caressed it deepens in color and grows in size.”
Tessa might have been mortified to have a man she barely knew touching her, assessing her. But his touch sent small electric waves down her belly.
“Your hips,” Jason continued, “are magnificent.” He slid his palm along Tessa’s curves, from her waist to her knee. “Don’t you see how incredibly sexy they are?”
She didn’t, but she liked the pressure of his hand on her skin, especially when he slid his hand to her rear and kneaded her right cheek.
“Now, about that belly,” he said, as if he was going to agree with Tessa’s criticism. “There is a sweet little rounding, isn’t there? Let’s have a look.”
Jason moved out from behind Tessa and kneeled in front of her. He traced the curve of her tummy, from belly button to the top of her dark pubic hair with a slow, lazy finger.
“It has a delightful womanly shape; not too much, not too little.”
“It looks frumpy in a bikini.”
“Perhaps on closer evaluation…”
Jason placed one hand on the back of each of Tessa’s cheeks and held her firm. He leaned forward and began to swirl his tongue in her belly button.
Tessa giggled. “That tickles.”
“Hmm. Not what I was going for. Let’s go to Plan B.”
Jason’s tongue began a slow, southern stroll. Occasionally, he gently nipped a bit of flesh, sending goose bumps up Tessa’s arms. When he reached the edge of Tessa’s mound, she stiffened. Jason increased the hold he had on her backside.
“Ask for what you need, Tessa,” he said, looking up into her eyes.
Silent tears filled her eyes. “Good girls don’t.”
“Good girls enjoy the body God gave them with partners who appreciate them for who they are.”
She wiped a tear away. “Isn’t it…gross?”
Jason shook his head. “Ask for what you need.”
“What if I don’t need it, but I want it?”
“Ask for it.”
Tessa stood, frozen. She could still hear her mother’s voice, whispering about the dirtiness of that part of her body. All those years, Tessa told herself that any man—even Mark—who wanted to put his mouth there was a little twisted. All the while she ignored, hell she buried, her longing to find out what it felt like.
Jason apparently knew what she was thinking. He touched her mound, right above her clitoris, as if to remind her of the pleasure that waited. That nudge pushed her over the edge.
“I want you to do it.”
Jason increased the pressure with his finger and watched Tessa jump, as if she’d been touched by fire. “Do what, Tessa. Name it.” He began to stroke her slit.
“I want you to give me oral sex.”
“It will be my pleasure. Watch in the mirror. Watch as I make you come.”
Jason nudged Tessa’s legs further apart and sat cross legged on the floor. He spread Tessa’s lips so far apart she could feel the cool air on the entry to her womanhood. That coolness lasted only a second, as Jason’s hot, rough tongue massaged Tessa’s most sensitive skin.
Tessa gasped. It wasn’t at all what she’d expected, though she had never been clear about what to expect.
Jason held her steady as he worked his tongue up and down her slit, exploring every nook and cranny. Each pass felt better than the last, and when he suddenly plunged his tongue inside her, she squealed.
Jason’s hand released Tessa’s cheek, found her clitoris and began stroking. “I need my hands, so you’re going to have to be steady on your feet, okay?” His fingers were making her clit swell. “Remember the ocean, today? I’m going to suck your clit and when you think you can’t take anymore I’m going to send you over the edge with my finger inside you. I’m going to give you all I think you can take. Are you up for that?”
Tessa nodded, still focused on the throbbing in her sweet pot, begging for more. More of what, Tessa wasn’t sure…but she trusted that Jason was.
Tessa discovered that Jason had only been warming up. Now his tongue was circling Tessa’s clit, his lips sucking on it so hard she thought she would melt, pressing her throbbing nub flat and then pulling it back up between two firm lips. Gentle nibbles and rough licks, around, deep, hard and fast. Tessa was so lost in the sensation she hardly noticed when Jason’s index finger plunged into her wet vagina, so ready for entry there was no resistance. While his tongue kept Tessa’s attention on the fire in her clitoris, Jason took the opportunity to slide two fingers into her vagina.
Tessa began to rock forward, pressing her mound against Jason’s face, begging him to take all of her.
Jason plunged his fingers in and out of Tessa’s wetness, harder and faster in time with the demands his tongue made on her clitoris. Instead of recoiling from the pounding, Tessa ground her hips into Jason’s hand. She fisted his hair and pulled his mouth against her mound with such intensity there was no mistaking what she wanted.
Jason worked the inside of Tessa’s vagina with a well-trained finger, angling for her G Spot; at the same moment he wrapped his lips around Tessa’s engorged clit and sucked as hard as he could.
Waves traveled from Tessa’s clitoris through her belly like shock waves in a major earthquake. It felt like minutes before they stopped, and when they did, they were replaced by spasms in her vagina that felt like delicious twitches. When everything stopped quaking and convulsing, her toes curled. Tessa was still hanging onto a handful of Jason’s hair when he removed his fingers from her wet core and stood.
“I could feel your contractions,” he said, wiggling his dripping fingers. “That was quite an orgasm.” He tipped her chin up, to look in her face, and Tessa began to sob.
“It was…so…awesome!” she said, between great, heaving sobs. “Why didn’t I let my husband do that?”
Jason held her as she wept and then swept her up in his arms and carried her into the bathroom.
-16-
Jason ran warm water into the oversized tub and added bubble bath from the hotel’s spa. Warm scents of ginger mingled with wisps of steam until the bathroom became as comforting as a womb. He settled Tessa into the tub.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, disappearing into the bedroom.
Tessa sunk back into the warmth of the sweet water. Her vaginal lips were still swollen and, as the old saying went, she felt like she’d been ‘rode hard and put away wet.’ But what a ride it had been. When Jason returned, he was carrying a large, delicate loofah.
“Where…?”
“Like the Boy Scouts, I come prepared.” He kneeled on the floor near the tub, dipped the loofah into the warm water and squirted it with moisturizing soap that also smelled like ginger. “Lay back.”
Tessa laid back into the water, resting her neck and head on the gentle slope of the tub. Ja
son softly ran the loofah across her breasts and down her belly. He put his hand into the water and nudged Tessa’s legs further apart.
“What?”
Jason understood. “There is more than one kind of sexual intimacy.” He waved the loofah. “This is intimate too, and it’s sexual. But its purpose is to calm and relax, not stimulate.”
Tessa nodded. She closed her eyes while Jason gently bathed the intimate places he had so expertly ignited. When he was finished, he patted Tessa dry and walked her to the bed. Tessa climbed in, exhausted and relaxed, though small sparks of anticipation began to quicken her pulse.
Jason settled Tessa in the big, comfortable bed and leaned over her, his face just inches from hers.
“You’re a beautiful lady with a wonderful spirit,” he said, softly brushing Tessa’s cheek with his fingers. “It’s been a pleasure working with you. Now, get some well-deserved sleep.”
He kissed Tessa softly on the cheek and left.
***
David,
It’s late and I’m exhausted, but too wired to sleep. I’m twenty-two floors up and higher than the moon, high because I finally let go of some of the baggage I’ve carried for way too long. I know you understand what I mean, because we all have baggage. If we’re lucky, we carry bags that aren’t heavier than what we can bear. Tonight, I lightened one of those bags and I am both elated and melancholy: elated to be one step closer to the me I want to be, but melancholy for all the time I wasted carrying such unnecessary weight.
Well, clearly enough of the philosophical! If I’ve half a brain I will delete this message instead of sending it.
Thinking of you from the 22nd floor,
Tessa.
And before she lost her courage, Tessa hit send.
***
Tessa dozed off at dawn and awoke, still sleepy, at nine. On her way to the bathroom, she noticed the creamy white envelope on the carpet, just under the front door. Carmen had told her there would be a day or two between ‘sessions,’ so she was a little surprised to receive instructions so soon. She slipped the note from the envelope and read:
Tessa,
It was my honor and privilege to spend time with you yesterday. You are such a lady, and everything Carmen said you would be. I know your journey will be a success. Remember the lesson of our day—ask for what you need—and face tomorrow with the same spirit.
Please enjoy a relaxing day today. Ben Larsen will meet you in the lobby tomorrow at 10:00. Dress tourist casual! By the way, Ben is excellent. I’m sure he will guide you to a conclusion that was as successful as ours.
With warmest regards,
Jason
Tessa held the note as if it were a precious gem, though she had to smile at Jason calling her a lady even after their session in the hotel room last night. Now she understood why Athena’s Ground limited each field therapist to only one set of sessions per client. It would have been easy to be swept away by strong but gentle Jason, and she assumed the others could pose a similar threat.
Tessa showered, not surprised that her lips and vaginal opening were tender. She hadn’t had sex in a very long time and even when Mark was alive, sex had been mostly tepid and predictable. Because she wasn’t terribly comfortable with it, Mark learned to get in and get out. He serviced himself quickly, because Tessa appeared to want it that way. The thought of what could have been, if she had only asked, made Tessa want to weep again.
But she didn’t.
Instead, Tessa Donovan decided to up her game. If Jason could teach her that her body wasn’t heinous (though she still struggled to believe him on that one) and that it could produce unbelievable pleasure, then Ben surely had some wonderful experiences in store.
Tessa booted up her laptop. When constructing Tessa’s field therapy package, Carmen had recommended some ‘extras,’ and Tessa had declined. But that was pre-Jason, and pre-orgasm. Carmen, Tessa wrote, I changed my mind about the extras. Is it too late to get them here before tomorrow? Tessa sent the email and browsed the visitors’ brochures on the desk where she kept her laptop.
One of the brochures caught her attention, because how could anyone go all the way to Australia and not see a kangaroo? Tessa threw on some walking shoes, grabbed her purse and headed for the Taronga Zoo. It was a short and beautiful ferry ride away, and while she enjoyed all the animals, she fell in love with the koalas. Tired, but happy, she made her way back to the Westberg. A couple blocks from her hotel, she stopped for some Chinese take-out and a bottle of cold beer. On the way out, she passed a tourist shop with a display of colorful Aussie tee shirts. A big-eyed koala on a black tee made her think of David. Impulsively, she bought it, knowing that she wanted him to have it before she left Australia. It might cost an arm and a leg, but she would make it happen.
The concierge at the hotel was happy to help.
“Here’s the name and address,” Tessa said, as she scribbled David’s information on a hotel note pad. “I want this sent as fast as possible unless it’s so expensive I’d have to take out a second mortgage.” She smiled and the concierge nodded.
“It’ll be expensive, but I doubt you’ll need a second mortgage.”
Tessa borrowed the hotel note pad again and wrote a message to accompany the koala tee shirt:
David. The zoo in Sydney is wonderful, and the most wonderful creature there was this guy. I know. I know. I went all the way to Australia and all you got was this crummy tee shirt : ) Well, there’s nothing crummy about the sentiment behind it…my favorite Aussie for my favorite Chicagoan. Tessa.
The concierge laid the note on top of the carefully folded tee shirt. “No problem. I’ll pack it in a padded envelope.” He looked at his watch. “I can just make the last pick up. Are you sure you want this sent express? It’ll be pricey.”
Tessa felt a powerful need to give David something now, even if it was a silly tee shirt. She thought it had something to do with guilt. She wasn’t in a ‘relationship’ with David, yet, and she knew, rationally, that she did not owe David her chastity until she was. But in some stupid way, it felt like she was doing to David what Mark had done to her, and it felt really bad.
“If it will cost more than a couple hundred dollars US, let me know. Otherwise, please just send it express. I want him to have it right away.”
The concierge kept a poker face, except for the corner of his mouth, which tightened as if he was biting his tongue. Tessa thought he’d go home tonight and tell the wife about the crazy American woman shelling out big bucks to express ship a stupid tourist tee shirt.
Tessa was eating her takeout Three Times Delight (a dish she picked because she hoped it prophetic), when her room phone rang. It was the concierge.
“I got your package out with the last Fed Ex pick up, Ms. Donovan. Kept it under your cost threshold and it should be delivered within twenty-four hours. Oh, and today seems to be your package day; one just arrived here for you. Would you like us to deliver it now?”
For a moment Tessa was puzzled, and then she remembered her email to Carmen. “Yes, please.”
When her package came, part of Tessa felt guilty for spending money on such things. Part of her felt guilty for even thinking about wearing such things. Part of her felt guilty thinking about what Ben would do to her while wearing such things. And the rest of her said to hell with feeling guilty. The To-Hell-With-Feeling-Guilty-Tessa finally won, though she still had to summon up the courage and actually put the stuff on for Ben.
Ask for what you need, she reminded herself. With the memory of Jason’s tongue in her sweet spot and his fingers in her vagina, asking for what she needed seemed like a most worthy goal.
-17-
FRIDAY
Jason’s note had advised her to dress ‘tourist casual,’ so Tessa set aside Carmen’s beautiful ‘extras’ and donned a pair of white jeans, a sunny yellow knit top and cute, but comfortable, sandals. A simple hair style and light makeup had her ready with twenty minutes to spare. She used the time to check for em
ail, and smiled when she saw there was one from David.
Tessa,
After reading your last email, I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you a Triple A, First Class Hug. You’re right, we all do carry some bags through life and I’m glad you’ve lightened yours. I must admit, though, now I’m curious about a load that could only be dropped on the other side of the world! Maybe someday you’ll tell me about it. Until then, I’ll just smile for your elation and share your sadness that you struggled with that burden for so long.
I’m sure you know I was disappointed that Australia got dibs on you. I’d hoped this would be our time to finally meet face-to-face, but I understood. And now that I know you are finding what you needed, that you’ve gotten some peace (or resolution?), I feel better.
You said that if we’re lucky, life gives us bags that are no heavier than what we can carry. Here’s a second baggage-carrying bit of luck: that each person finds someone who can share the load until the burden is lighter or the person is stronger.
And if we’re truly lucky, maybe life gives us both light loads and a partner who can help us carry. I’m wishing you continued progress and lighter loads.
Yours, David
Tessa wanted to write back, but knew David’s heartwarming reply deserved a thoughtful response. It was 9:55 and she had to be in the lobby by 10:00. “Later, sweet David,” she said out loud as she turned off her laptop and ran for the elevator. She made it to the lobby with a minute to spare.
“Tessa?”
Tessa turned toward the voice. It was deep and rich and more heavily accented than Jason’s. It came from a very tall, tanned, blue-eyed blonde, an in-the-flesh man far more gorgeous than the one in Carmen’s photograph. Were they one and the same? Tessa prayed they were.
Luckily for Tessa, sometimes prayers are answered.
“Have you eaten?” Ben said as he led Tessa to his parked car.
Tessa's Escape to Athena's Ground Page 7
